Unbroken (29 page)

“Fine.” Cade pushed away from the fence rail and gestured toward the barn. “This way.”

They walked into the barn and Cade could feel Cole watching them. He had a feeling his brother would be hanging close. Older-brother overprotective habits died hard, even when you hadn't been on the best terms for the past year.

“Okay,” Cade said, crossing his arms, “what's going on? And I warn you, I am in a terrible mood, so if you give me a reason to, I will lay into you with all the strength in my broken body, you hear me?”

Davis put his hands up. “Not why I'm here. I got a call from Mark Linden. He's heading up the association now.”

“I know. I'm not involved anymore, but I keep up on things.”

“He asked if I was the one who caused your accident.”

“And?”

“I told him I was. I'm barred from competition.”

Cade felt like a breeze could have knocked him down. “What?”

“It's true. And I think you know it. I was the one who was responsible for your accident.”

“Why the hell did you cop to it?”

Davis lifted a shoulder and looked down at his boots. “I came here to . . . do what I've been doing for too damn long. I hated you. I hated everything you had that I didn't. When I found out who you were . . . You had everything I wanted, including the top spot on the leaderboard. I didn't want to kill you or permanently maim you. I wanted to put you out for the season. Which is bad enough, and I'm not going to pretend it's not. But look, the bullshit caught up with me, and I'm admitting it.”

“Great. I'm not going to give you a medal for that.”

“I don't expect you to.”

“Why did you come to Silver Creek?”

“Same reason. All that unresolved shit. You all had something here and I felt like I should have it too, because if my dad hadn't run out on me . . . if he'd married my mom instead . . . well, I would have had it.”

“Our dad was a prick. I can't fix that for any of us. I wish I could.”

“Don't on my account.”

“Oh, I don't on your account. I don't like you,” Cade said, “if that wasn't clear. I've cursed you every morning I've gotten up and barely been able to move, even though I didn't know your name. I hope you know that.”

“And I deserve it,” he said. “Not saying that to be noble, just because it's true. I thought maybe I'd find something here that would answer questions for me. And I did. My life isn't here. And I have to stop fixating on things that are best left in the past. I'm leaving. I'm going to go buy land somewhere else and start my own life instead of worrying so much about yours. Coming and actually seeing what bad shape you're in . . . I'm not proud of it. I thought I might find answers here, but I just had to face what a huge bastard I've been. And now I just want to walk away from it.”

A muscle in Cade's jaw ticked, and he gritted his teeth, shifting his weight.

“I don't really get why you never came before,” Cade said.

“I didn't know my dad's real name. Neither did my mom.”

“It was the same for Nicole too. And her mother. None of it all came together until the past couple of years.”

“And for me, it all came together when I saw him there with you. I think . . . I think he knew me. But he never said anything. He never even smiled at me. He was my dad, and he was there to see you. And he wouldn't even look at me.”

“Davis . . .”

“I don't deserve pity. Hell, at this point I don't think I deserve much of anything. Not a piece of the ranch, not a place here. I think what I really need to do is just walk away. It's funny, I spent a lot of years hating you, and wanting what you had. And I bet you didn't think about me once.”

“No,” Cade said. “I didn't. But that's our dad's fault too.”

“Right. He screwed a lot of things up, and I'm starting to regret stepping in and screwing up more.”

Cade could feel all the anger he'd been bound up in for the last four years loosening. Falling away. He'd been angry at Quinn. Angry at a general, shadowy figure. Angry in general. And now, looking at Davis, he could see what anger did to a man. What hate did.

He didn't want any part of it. He wanted to move on. He wanted more to life. He wanted Amber. His child. A family. He wanted love more than he wanted fear. He wanted it more than he wanted anger.

He could throttle Davis. Punch him out. Press charges. Sue. But none of it would fix his injury. None of it would change a damn thing.

Cade might be crippled outside, but Davis was all twisted up inside. And Cade didn't want any part of it. It would end with him. It would end now.

So that the rest of his life could start.

“Just go then,” Cade said. “I'm not pressing charges. Just . . .”

“Yeah,” Davis said. “I guess that's it then.”

“Yeah,” Cade said. “It is.”

Davis extended his hand and Cade shook it, then took a step back.

And that was it. That was the big confrontation with the guy who'd screwed up his body and his life. Knowing that guy was your half brother kind of took the rage out of it—if only because it was just sad.

Davis was a prime example of letting bitterness eat you up. Of letting it steal your chance at making relationships.

And in truth, Cade wasn't much better.

He'd let fear and bitterness steer him away from love all of his life.

If he hadn't . . . if he hadn't, he would have realized he loved Amber sixteen years ago. He wouldn't have lost her, because he would have known then. He would have told her then. He would have acted like it then.

And he would have her now.

Cade watched Davis get into his truck and drive away. And once the tailgate was out of sight, with nothing left but a dust cloud from the gravel road, Cole approached.

“So . . . how did it go?”

“He's not going to bother us anymore. Unlike Nicole, I don't think he's interested in reconciling and having Christmases at Elk Haven.”

“Considering he hobbled you, that's probably for the best.”

“Yeah. So, we need to figure out where Amber is.”

“Why?”

“Because I'm not going to live scared anymore. I'm going to chase her down and tell her I love her.”

“Then what?” Cole asked.

“Hope like hell she loves me back.”

Twenty-Four

Amber peeled herself off the couch when she heard the
knocking—or rather, pounding—on the door to the little apartment above the diner. It was probably Casey, the cook, with some food for her. Delia was doing her part to make Amber feel taken care of. Though “taken care of” was starting to feel a lot like “smothered.”

She'd confessed the pregnancy, and her Cade woes, which had resulted in tongue-clucking and the offer of the apartment, and time off for as long as she needed.

Which just made her feel even more full of woe. Like everyone was cleaning up her messes because . . . because Silver Creekians were so damned decent.

“Coming,” she moaned as she shuffled to the door.

She jerked it open and froze. Cade was standing there looking like he was ready to hit someone. And she knew that look. Because she'd seen it on his face right before he'd flattened that guy in the bar for her on a night that seemed like a whole lifetime ago.

It was certainly a whole friendship ago.

“You think you could . . . I don't know, Amber . . . answer your damn cell phone?” He walked past her and into the room, not waiting for her permission. Just as well, since she wouldn't have given it. But it didn't really matter now.

“I was not answering on purpose. So, no . . . answering would defeat that purpose.”

“You little coward,” he said, staring her down, his dark eyes blazing. “You're running from a man with a limp.”

“I'm running from more than that,” she said.

“Tell me,” he said, his jaw set, anger rolling from him in waves. “Tell me what you're running from.”

“You,” she said.

“Like I said . . .”

“You and your proposal,” she said. “And all the damn feelings. And your well-meaning . . . well-meaningness. And feelings.”

“What about me is well-meaning?” he asked, spreading his arms out wide. “Tell me.”

“You wanting to marry me. For the baby.”

“You think I want to marry you for the baby?” he asked.

“Well, yeah, since you proposed thirty seconds after I told you about the baby.”

“I want to marry you for me.”

“Why? Because I bring you booze and laughs? Because I'm your best friend and I make your life easier and it'll be convenient to have a wife and child under one roof with you?”

“Because I fucking love you, Amber, that's why.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I'm sorry, did I steal your convenient excuse to run? I love you. That's why I want to marry you. Hell, woman, I don't just love you. I am in love with you. You're . . . everything. You're the sunrise and the sunset. Without you, it's all dark. It's all bad. I need you.”

“I . . .” She shook her head and took a step back. She was tempted to bolt for the door.

“What? Did I take your excuse? Now, why did you leave me? Tell me, right now.”

“I can't.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't know!” she shouted.

“Yes, you do.”

“I'm scared,” she said. It sounded so small and lame, so pathetic next to his admission. Next to the brave, beautiful words he'd just spoken.

You're the sunrise and the sunset.

I'm scared.

As admissions went, his won. Hers was just lame. But it was true. She was shaking down to her soul, and she had been for . . . for as long as she could remember.

“What are you scared of?” he asked, his tone softer now.

“Everything,” she said, a sob rising in her throat, hysteria bubbling in her chest. “Everything. I'm scared that . . . that none of this lasts. I'm scared that I'll never be able to be the woman that you want, not for long enough. And once I can't do it anymore, once I can't . . . make myself fit into your life anymore, I'll be the thing that has to go.”

“Amber”—his voice was rough, his eyes filled with pain—“why would you think that?”

“Because. Because that's my life, Cade. Because that's how it was with my dad, my mom. All of the foster families that took me in. And then I got here and my grandparents loved me, but I felt like I had to do everything in my power to make sure they wouldn't ever send me back.”

“And with me? Who were you with me? When we drank and cussed and talked about sex and dreams? When we just sat and didn't say anything? Was that you, or was it the friend you thought I wanted?”

“That was different. You were the only person who chose me. And now . . . you'll just be someone else who's obligated to me, and I can't handle that, Cade. I can't handle the moment when it will end. When I won't be enough.”

“Do you want to know why I didn't know I loved you until the past week?”

“Why?” she asked, her throat so tight she could barely speak.

“Because you were too much. Forget not being enough. You were more than I could handle, more than I could admit wanting. You were everything, Amber, and I wasn't ready for everything. I was afraid that I would be like my father, but that was bullshit. I control my actions. And I would never, ever do the things to you he did to the women in his life. I think what really scared me, what I couldn't admit, was that I was afraid of being my mother. Of loving with everything when the other person just didn't. But I'm not afraid now.”

“What changed?”

“I guess I had to ask myself what I was more afraid of. The possibility of wanting it all, asking for it all, and losing it, or the certainty that I would never have you, not the way I wanted you, because I was just too damn scared.”

“Obviously you found your answer,” she said, her voice trembling.

“Yeah. That's why I'm here, telling you now. I love you, and I want everything. Forever, and family. Love. That real stuff. That intense, painful, wonderful, sweaty love that I have for you.”

“Sweaty?”

“Come on, baby, what we have is a little sweaty,” he said, putting his hands on her cheeks, his thumbs drifting over her lower lip. “That's the part that separates this from friendship. Or maybe it's just the part that adds to it. Because that's the thing—you're still my best friend. And I don't want you to change. It's you that I want. I don't want you to be anyone but the woman I grew up with. I don't want you to be anyone but the woman who knocked my socks off when I met her in high school. I don't want you to be anyone but you.”

“It's so hard for me to believe that, Cade,” she said, a tear sliding down her cheek. “Because so many people didn't want me. So many people didn't love me. Not me. And I stopped being able to . . . to give myself. It was too scary. So I only gave pieces. But you have all of me. And that's why I'm so scared. You're the only person in the world who has my friendship, my body and my soul. The only person who knows every dream, every fear and every desire.”

He closed his eyes, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. “Amber . . . I'm so honored by that gift. You don't know how much.”

“You realize why it's so scary, right? No one else could break me completely. You could. You have it all.”

“I get that,” he said, his voice a whisper now. “But I've spent half my life loving you already, caring for you. Keeping a lot of your pieces safe. Trust me when I say I'll spend the rest of my life doing the same.”

“I want this so much,” she said. “I . . . I love you. I do. I have. I've been running from it for so long. I told myself that I didn't want a relationship because I was working on my problems, but the thing was . . . I think a part of me just knew that you were it. But all of me was way too afraid to risk what we had. To risk myself.”

“We weren't ready,” he said, “but I'm ready now. And if it took this, Davis, the pregnancy, to push us there, I can only be grateful. They aren't the reason I love you, but they pushed me into realizing it faster. I don't want to marry you because you're pregnant; it just helped move things along. But that's good, because we've been dragging our damn feet for sixteen years.”

She put her hands on his cheeks and closed the distance between them, kissing him deep. They just stood there, holding each other, kissing, for a long time. Her face was wet, and his was wet too; she wasn't sure if the tears were all hers, or if some were from him.

“I love you,” she said, a bubble of happiness in her stomach expanding like a balloon and rising in her chest. “I love you, Cade Mitchell. You're my best friend, my lover. And I want you to be my husband. My forever.”

“I love you, Amber Jameson. I know you better than anyone, and I love you more than anyone ever will.”

“Forsaking all others,” she said.

“In sickness or in health.”

“In bison or in poverty,” she said.

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her whole body against his. “Baby, we have bison. We do.”

“At my house,” she said, the words coming out finally. “My house. In my town. With my man.”

“All of it's yours, huh?” he asked, a smile curving his lips.

“I don't feel like a tenant anymore,” she said. “I was tired of feeling like everything in my life was temporary. I'm here for keeps. I'm staking some claims.”

“So, the house, the town . . .”

“And you,” she said.

“I'm so glad to be yours.”

“I'm yours too,” she said. “Cuts both ways.”

“That's fair, because you were part of making me a man who was brave enough to ask for all of this, you know.”

“Me?”

“Without you, I wouldn't have been brave enough. You made me want things. Made me ask for things from life. So this is your fault, you know?”

“That seems fitting, since I think you were the one who made
me
brave.”

“I think we fixed each other,” he said.

“We were never broken,” she said, realizing just then how true it was. “We just needed a little help from a friend.”

He smiled. “I'm glad you're my friend.”

“Always,” she said.

For the first time, all of the pieces of her life were together, in one place. All the pieces of her were together in one place. Because of Cade. Because she loved him. Because he loved her.

And it wasn't scary. It was perfect.