Although it was only two in the afternoon, he pulled out a bottle of whiskey from the bottom drawer and poured himself a hefty double. Connor wasn’t proud of his behavior or the fact he had lost control completely. Drinking didn’t help any of that, but it did help his nerves a hell of a lot.
The whiskey burned as it went down his throat. He held his breath, waiting for the hooch to complete its path. When he finally let it out, he felt better, at least enough to be able to concentrate on business.
Connor put Alex out of his mind as much as he could and got back to reviewing the receipts.
CHAPTER FIVE
A
lex went over the figures for the third time. Her eyes burned from squinting at the line items so intently the last few days. She closed them and pinched the bridge of her nose. It was no use going over them again—they were neat and balanced to the penny.
Not only was Connor using the best accounting software for small businesses, but the entries were flawless. Damn.
She looked up and realized the sun had almost set and she’d nearly missed it. Alex hopped up from the cozy sofa and ran for the door, ignoring the pins and needles in her legs from sitting with the laptop for too long.
As she limped outside, the purple, pink and orange colors in the sky made her breath catch. It was as if God had taken His paintbrush and swiped it across the horizon, leaving behind the most vibrant colors imaginable.
She sat down on the rocking chair and tried to remember that this was what was important in life. Enjoying herself, savoring the simplicity of a sunset and not focusing on the complexities of her past.
It was a hard thing to do. She’d spent so much time hiding from the past, from those feelings, that coming back to Wyoming was supposed to be cathartic, a way to close the door to that past. So far she’d done nothing but make things worse.
Alex hugged her knees to her chest and watched the sunset until nothing was left but the deep, dark blue of twilight. Her stomach rumbled noisily and she reluctantly got up from the rocking chair.
Perhaps it would be better to have a meal in the cabin rather than go to the mess hall. Feeling like she was hiding, Alex ordered room service and waited for her burger to arrive. Being in the VIP cabin must have given her certain privileges, because the food arrived in less than twenty minutes.
A knock at the door startled her. She realized she’d been staring out the window at the darkening sky since she’d placed the room service order. When she opened the door, Claire stood there with a tray of food.
Alex felt all the blood rush to her cheeks as she was confronted with the woman who had replaced her mother. At first, she wanted to slam the door, but she resisted the urge. Instead she gripped the wood so tightly a splinter lodged in her finger. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk to you yet.”
“I know, but Connor told me you were staying here, and I really wanted the chance to speak to you.” She shuffled her feet. “May I come in, please?”
Alex wanted to shout no, truly slam the door and act like the hurt teenager she’d been ten years earlier. She could have, but decided her behavior so far in Wyoming had not been ideal. Perhaps acting like an adult might be in order.
“Okay, fine.” Alex opened the door so Claire could come in. Her body was wound so tightly that if someone had poked her with a pin, she might have exploded. The idea that this woman, the person who had replaced her mother, was speaking to her was almost surreal.
“Alex, thank you for letting me in.” Claire set the tray on the coffee table. “I know it can’t be easy for you to be here, or find out about Grant and Daniel.”
“An understatement.” Alex flopped down on the couch and picked up the tin covering the food. She didn’t even feel like eating anymore, but she picked up a French fry anyway.
“May I sit?”
Alex gestured to the couch. Her stomach was clenched so tight, she could hardly swallow. “Sure, why not.”
Claire looked perfectly put together with her raven black hair in a bob, her white blouse and black slacks. Even her nails were manicured, unlike Alex’s messy nails that had never seen a manicurist in her life.
“I waited a few days before I came over. I thought perhaps you needed some time to adjust. You see, I want us to come to an understanding, if we can. Grant wasn’t proud of what he’d done. I hope you know that. He did try to find you but without much success. His one regret was never making peace with you.” Claire offered her everything Alex wanted to hear, and nothing she wanted to accept.
“It’s nice to hear that, but it would have been better coming from him.” Alex managed to swallow the food in her mouth but didn’t pick up anything else. “You were there at my mother’s funeral. Do you remember that day?”
Claire blushed; at least she had some measure of guilt. “Yes, I do. I know the past isn’t easy for either of us, but I thought if I made the first gesture, it would help us begin the healing process.”
Alex shook her head. “The healing process is not the problem. I don’t need any help with that. What I need help with is finding my place here, and to do that, I need time. I can’t just forget everything and pretend we’re a happy family.”
Claire nodded tightly. “I can understand that, but I hope you change your mind. Daniel is excited to have a big sister and he’s a wonderful boy. He takes after your fa—What I mean to say is, he’s afraid to approach you. If you could find it in your heart to give him a chance, it would be wonderful.”
Ah yes, she needed to be friendly with the boy who’d finally fulfilled her father’s wish for a son. Alex, the girl who tried so hard to be a boy, went so far as to shave her head when she was ten so she looked like one. Claire had no idea what she was asking, and Alex couldn’t even begin to explain it to her.
“Tell me something, Claire. At my mother’s funeral, why were you there? Were you with my father as his girlfriend?” Alex didn’t really want to know the answer, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking.
Claire sighed. “I met your father in Denver. He was sitting on a park bench and crying. At first I didn’t talk to him but I saw him every day for a week in the same place, looking sadder than any human being I’d ever seen. I’ve always tended to collect wounded souls, and Grant called to that side of me.”
Alex was perversely glad he’d been sad in Denver.
“We had meals together and I found him to be a good man, a man who had lost his way. I, um, didn’t know he was married.” Claire looked decidedly uncomfortable. “Until one day he got a call and I found out his wife had passed away. I didn’t want to go with him, but he begged me. We got on a plane and came to Wyoming. I almost had to hold him up to get him inside the house.” Claire met her gaze. “When he saw you, I felt your pain, and I knew it had been a mistake to travel with Grant.”
“You felt my pain?” Alex didn’t know what to believe.
“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for causing you pain. It wasn’t my intention and to this day I remember the look on your face.” Claire’s eyes filled with tears. “I truly am sorry for being the cause of it.”
Alex took a breath and swallowed the lump in her throat. “How did you end up marrying him?”
Claire shook her head. “I stayed on to help him with the ranch and eventually I fell in love with him. He was a good man for all his mistakes; he had a good soul. Grant did make mistakes; he was the first to admit that.”
“Again, an understatement.” Alex could write an opus about the mistakes her father had made, right after she wrote her own.
Claire stared down at her clenched hands. “All I’m asking is for you to give Daniel a chance. Give us a chance.”
Alex wanted to say no. She wanted to tell Claire to go to hell, but something in the other woman’s gaze told her she was telling the truth about all of it. No doubt Alex’s father had used her as well. “I’m not making any promises. There are things you can’t possibly know about me or my relationship with my father.” Alex rose on shaky legs. “If you don’t mind, I think we’re done talking for now.”
“Of course. Thank you for hearing me out.” Claire made her way to the door with a significant amount of grace, a skill Alex woefully lacked.
As Alex closed the door behind her stepmother, she slid down the wall and covered her face with her hands. She tried to cry as quietly as she could.
The morning sun burned Connor’s eyes as he stepped out of his cabin. He’d stayed up too late trying to avoid thinking about Alex and catch up on the work he’d ignored while trying to balance the receipts. One thing Connor hated about his job was the books. He would gladly shovel horse shit eight hours a day to avoid them. It also was the one thing he really had to force himself to do. Although schedules were the most complex task, balancing the guests coming in with the employees and their various specialties was almost an art form; accounting was still his nemesis.
His back ached right along with his neck, but another day of paperwork awaited him, including a visit from Michael Bailey, Grant’s attorney. Connor really didn’t look forward to it, or to Alex’s reaction to the will. She was obviously brimming with passion, with fury at her father. Confronting what Grant had left behind would be exhausting for everyone.
After grabbing coffee and a muffin, and ignoring Bernice’s glower, Connor headed for his office. He polished off the muffin on the way, barely tasting the sweet corn flavor. The coffee was strong and black, the way he liked it.
He nodded to a few people but didn’t stop to talk. Normally he would have, but he was tied into knots. His new obsession with Alex was affecting his work, his sleep and his temper.
With determination, he dove into work, and before he knew it, Michael poked his head into the office. Connor looked up from the schedules, surprised to see it was ten o’clock already.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you work so hard before.” Michael grinned at him as he stepped into the office. The attorney was a few years older than Connor, with blond hair and blue eyes. A boy next door with an athletic physique and charm.
“Shut up, Mike.” Connor sipped at the cold coffee, then made a face at the bitter dregs. He set it aside and sighed hard.
Michael sat in the chair and raised his brows. “I’ve brought Grant’s will with me, as you asked. Now, tell me what the hell is going on.”
“Alex Finley arrived four days ago. I almost fell out of my chair when she told me who she was. Jesus, Mike, I never expected her to show up.” Connor ran his hands through his hair and leaned back in the chair. “She’s got me chasing my own damn tail. I’m not sleeping and—well, it’s been a rough week.”
“How’s Claire taking it? And Daniel?” Mike lost his teasing attitude, concern evident on his face.
“Claire is trying to make inroads with Alex, but it isn’t going to be easy. Daniel has no idea what’s going on; he’s just thrilled to have a big sister, even if she ignores him.” Connor picked up the coffee cup, then set it down before he swallowed the nasty crap again. “Thanks for coming by when you got back into town.”
“No worries. I was glad to come after I got your call. Nancy hadn’t scheduled anything for me this morning since I got in late last night.” Mike hid a yawn behind his hand. “Tell me what she’s like.”
Connor thought about Alex, about all the moments he’d spent with her, and about the storm cloud that seemed to follow her. “She’s got his chin and his eyes. Other than that, I figure she looks like her mother. Kind of short, curvy.” And oh, those curves kept him up at night, literally.
“Now, that’s an interesting answer. You just described what she looks like and not a thing about what she’s like.” Mike’s gaze was probing, like only a lawyer could do.
Connor frowned at his friend. “She’s outspoken, bossy and demanding.”
Mike chuckled. “Oh, so that’s how it is.”
“How what is?”
“You have had a total of three ladies in your life in eight years. Relationships with them all started the same, with you thinking they were outspoken, bossy or demanding.” Mike pointed at him. “You are in trouble if she’s got all three qualities.”
Connor’s cheeks heated. “That’s a load of bullshit and you know it. I am not in trouble because of Alex Finley.”
He glanced up to see her in the doorway. His stomach flipped, then twisted so tight he tasted the muffin.
She glanced at Mike; then her gaze swung back at him. “Should I ask why you were talking about me and trouble?”
Connor stood. “Sorry, Alex. I was just filling Mike in on the last four days.”
“And that involved me and trouble.” Color was high on her face.
“This is awkward.” Mike stood and held out his hand. “Michael Bailey, attorney.”
Alex shook his hand. “Alex Finley, prodigal daughter.”
Mike smiled. “Witty and beautiful. Now I understand why there was trouble.”
She crossed her arms under her breasts, pushing the amazing mounds up, making Connor lose track of why he was trying to forget what it was about Alex that made him obsess.
“Did Connor tell you I wanted to see the will? I understand I own half the ranch, and I’d like to get the details of exactly what it all means.” She walked into Connor’s office and sat down, her spine stiffer than his wake-up woody that morning.
Mike sat down, his lawyer face firmly back in place. “Of course, Miss Finley. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your father. He was a good man, a good client.”
Connor hadn’t had a chance to tell Mike exactly how angry Alex seemed to be with her father.
“Funny, I remember him being an asshole. Now, let me see the will, please.” She kept her voice even but the steel in it was sharp enough to cut through bone.
Mike nodded, but Connor could see he was holding his tongue. The lawyer was an even-tempered man, but Alex tested everyone’s patience. Fury poured off her into the air, making it pulse in the office.