Unbreakable Hearts (16 page)

While Tilly was in the shower, he went to his room and got his things
to change into then went to the other bathroom and showered, preparing for a long night on the couch, the only consequence being that at least it was a big couch and not some wussy-ass piece of shit that would wreck his back by the morning.

Aft
er settling in he caught some ESPN on TV and had just turned it off when he heard Tilly coming out of the master bath. Shifting to look at the frosted doors, he could plainly see her silhouette, the backlight illuminating her figure. He groaned as he wondered what she was wearing. Something short, he could tell, and he let his imagination run wild. Jesus.

Yep, it was going to be a long night.

***

“What else would I need to check,” Graham hissed in Alicia’s ear, on his knees behind her as he pumped inside her harder, his arm locked under both of hers holding them behind her back, his other hand holding tightly to her jaw, his head pressed hard against the side of hers.

When she didn’t answer right away, he pulled tighter on her arms making her whimper.

“That’s right, you fucking cunt, talk to me or you’ll hurt worse.”

“Oh, God,” she moaned.

He gripped her jaw more tightly with his fingers. “Tell me what I need to check,” he roared, driving himself up deep inside her making her cry out.

“
The… vendors…” she murmured.

“You’ll make a list,” he grunted out before finishing inside her. Then he pulled out, got off the bed and zipped up his slacks.

“Graham,” she cried. “No! Wait!” She hadn’t come, but that’d been part of her punishment for not being forthcoming with him in the first place about what else he should look into.

He was out the door before she could even turn to see him leave.

***

Tilly
lay in John’s bed and closed her eyes. The room smelled like him, the spicy cologne he’d worn earlier subtly tantalizing her nose. It was a very manly room, the bedding made up of grays and blacks, the bed having a high, cherry headboard that was simple but sophisticated. There were matching nightstands and an armoire. One wall was all windows that looked out onto the city, charcoal gray roller shades half-drawn on them, and the other three walls were sparsely decorated, two with large black and white photos of New York City, the other just a mirror. She liked it. It was understated and cool. Just like John.

John.

She’d thought of him so much over the last ten years, had carried a torch for him all that time and it was surreal that he’d come back into her life. And now, as far as she knew, and she understood it was ridiculous, she was in love with him, though she had no clue how someone could fall in love without being with that person for years. So maybe she only thought she loved him. Maybe she was only channeling that girl she’d once been who’d had a crush on him. Yeah. That was likely it. But when she examined her feelings further, she realized that, no, she was pretty sure she did love him. Had subconsciously always known. Dang.

And
he scared her but not for the reasons he may have thought. He scared her because he made her want him, made her want to scrap the whole guarding her heart thing.

I
t hadn’t surprised her earlier when he’d said he wanted her in his bed because she assumed that’s what he’d meant when he told her he wanted to see where things went with them. But if sex was all he wanted, she didn’t know if she could do it. She loved him and if he didn’t love her back, what was the point? Because, jeez, if all she wanted was to sleep with a guy, there were plenty out there that were willing, she supposed, that she didn’t love. Heck, she could go sleep with Doug right now. Annnnd she shuddered.

She lay there wondering if
maybe she could make John fall in love with her. He did give all the signals that he cared for her, but she wasn’t a psychologist who could read that stuff. She wished she could call Quinn, but she was with Rod and she didn’t want to interrupt, although she kind of did because he was a creep and she’d love to get him away from her best friend…

She smacked herself in the forehead at all her wandering thoughts, but taking a deep breath, she examined her situation again. Okay,
if she could get John to fall in love with her, she might be able to allow him in. Might be able to build a life with him and have a happily ever after. Might not be so scared of giving him her heart.

But then the
fear crept in anyway, the panic taking her in its grip as she thought about what kind of job he did. It was just as bad as being a police officer. She was sure he’d probably been shot at at least once. And then he’d been an Army Ranger on top of everything else and almost been killed by a bomb!

Quinn’s words entered her mind.
Open yourself up to a relationship
….
We’re both going to find men who’ll love the fuck out of us…

Could
she open her heart and let him in if he did love her? Even more, could she handle being with him, handle the nights when he was on a job and she didn’t know when he’d be home or if he was safe?

She tossed and turned for
an hour playing the different scenarios over and over in her head until she finally threw the covers back, sitting up and making a decision. By God, she was a grown-ass woman who was in charge of her life. She could deal with all that came with John Osby, or at least she’d try.

Even
though that was so uncharacteristic of her.

She lay back down. God, s
he wasn’t some horny chick who just went for it. Well, she
was
horny, but she so wasn’t that girl. Was she? 

“Fuck!” she hissed out,
slamming her fists down against the bed and kicking her feet like a child having a tantrum, the curse word she made sure never to use except only in extreme circumstances blasting out of her mouth. The love of her life (possibly) lay not thirty feet from her and all she had to do was go to him.

Then she heard Quinn again.
Let’s just go for it, Till!

“Damn it,” she said as she sat up
again. She stood and took a deep breath. “You’d better be right, Quinn, or I’m kicking your ass.”

Heart pounding in her chest s
he moved forward on wobbly legs across the room, sliding open the bedroom doors when she reached them. He’d left a light on somewhere so she saw clearly when he immediately sat up on the couch, looking over to see her standing there in her little, mint green nightie. Guess he was having just as tough a time getting to sleep as she was. She licked her lips as she stood looking at him and swore she heard him growl deep inside his throat.

“Uh, John, when I said you scare me, it’s not because I’
m afraid of you,” she said softly, her fingers of one hand worrying the hem of her short gown. Then she bit her lip as she looked at him, seeing his face so intent on hers, before she continued. “I’m afraid because of what you make me feel.”

S
he heard him mutter the same curse word she’d used earlier, and it was only a matter of seconds before he got up and stalked toward her, wearing only black sleep pants and no shirt, his jaw muscles jumping, his eyes heatedly piercing hers. She stood rooted to the spot watching his long legs eating up the space between them easily, his bare chest on display. God, he was sexy. When he got to her, he wrapped his arms around her and smashed his mouth to hers, swallowing the small gasp she let out right before.

Well, that wasn’t as tough as she’d thought.

Now s
he ran her hands over his round, muscled shoulders, feeling the scars on his right one, and clutched him tightly, liking way too much how he felt, pulling him harder to her. His hand slid up under her hair at the back of her head, his other moving down, down, down her back to the bottom of her nightie then under as he cupped her butt with his hand pressing her even closer to his hard body.

She
was too far gone to even care that she was behaving like a floozy as she ran a hand over his short hair, trying to grab a handful and just barely succeeding.

“Take me to bed, John,” she mumbled against his mouth.

He let out a groan and pulled back, looking down at her. “Tilly,” he muttered, his voice gravelly and deep and sounding delicious to her.

She searched his eyes
. “Please.”

At that moment, a
part of her brain, a very small part, was screaming at her to stop, telling her she’d only get hurt, he’d break her down then leave, but she refused to listen. She’d never done anything spontaneous like this before in her life and at that moment she didn’t care if he wrecked her. She was finally getting what she wanted after all those years.

The next thing she knew, he
picked her up and carried her to his bed, placing her gently in the center of it as he landed a knee next to her hip then leaned down to kiss her again. And lord, she’d never been kissed like that before. The man knew what he was doing that was for damned sure and, wow, his kisses just kept getting better.

His mouth moved over h
er jaw then down her neck and over her collarbone as he glided a hand up her thigh and between her legs where he ran his fingers over her making her arch up off the bed.

“Oh, God,” she mumbled, closing her ey
es as his hand moved up and slipped in at the waistband, drawing her panties down her legs and off.

He
then pushed her nightgown up with one hand, his other going underneath to hold her bottom, as he left hot, wet kisses over her abdomen, murmuring about how beautiful she was. Then his kisses were going down, down, down and his tongue flicked over her sex making her cry out suddenly, not able to stop herself at how good it felt and also in surprise that he’d found the spot on the first try.

“Oh, my God, John.
Oh, God, yes,” she moaned, her head moving from side to side, as he proceeded to run his tongue over her, flicking it against her as he homed in on the target, which made her fingers clasp firmly onto the comforter. She then felt his hand at one of hers, pulling at her fingers, loosening their hold on the bedspread, and he grasped her hand with his, lacing his fingers through hers and holding it tightly. Oh, wow. How sweet was that… so intimate. It was then that he sucked her in and her climax surprised her, slamming through her as she cried out his name arching off the bed again, coming harder than she ever had before, coming at the hands of a man for the first time. Holy crap.

As she lay breathing hard, she realized he’d not only seduced her body but her mind as well
with his sweet words and with his holding her hand, and she realized that that’s what’d been missing in her encounters before him—intimacy. A small smile appeared on her face as she looked at him through half-lidded eyes.

He moved up her body, taking his time to leave light kisses over h
er stomach then up to the hollow of her neck and finally to her lips, taking her mouth hungrily with his, the heat of the kiss leaving her breathless.

“Thank you,”
she whispered when he pulled back.

His eyes twinkled with amus
ement as he looked down at her. “My pleasure,” he murmured moving a lock of hair off her forehead that was held there by her perspiration then he kissed her deeply, once again leaving her lightheaded. God, she loved the ways he used his mouth.

When the kiss ended, she
saw his hesitation and knew he was reluctant to move forward, saw the concern on his face as if he wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further with him.

“John, please
make love to me,” she said softly, her hand coming up to caress the side of his face. They were here and there was no going back now.

T
he heat returned to his eyes as he came back down to meld his lips to hers, their tongues tangling seductively together. He drew back, then stood giving her a slow half grin as he watched her eyes roaming over him, his own glittering back at her with lust. He slid his sleep pants down over his hips, stepping out of them, not missing the way her eyes widened or the sharp intake of breath she made at seeing his hard cock spring free. He climbed on the bed and came down on top of her, his forearms holding the brunt of his weight.

“
Tilly, I wanna make absolutely sure you want this.” He dipped down to brush his lips softly over hers.

She looked up at him, eyes still wide. “You’re bigger than…”

“Baby, we don’t have to do this. I want you to be sure…” he trailed off as she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her knees up to the side of his hips.

Oh, yeah, she was sure
. He’d already given her her first male-induced orgasm, and she knew he’d continue to dazzle her with his actual lovemaking. She put a hand behind his head, pulling him down and kissing him sweetly. “I’m sure,” she whispered.

He looked in her eyes trying to find any doubt there, she guessed,
then he reached to the drawer of his nightstand and got out a condom, tearing it open and putting it on. He looked at her once more, questioning, and she slipped a hand down, taking hold of his length, guiding him to her opening, a look of determination on her face. The smoldering look he gave her back made her suck a breath in right before he eased inside her slowly.