Unbreakable (Accidental Crush #3) (12 page)

This is all my fault. I should have never come here tonight, never helped her sneak out. I can’t believe we are back here again, with me causing her pain.

I slam my fist back into my steering wheel over and over again. I don’t even feel the pain this time. The bloody fist prints I’m leaving behind make me smile. Good. I should be bleeding. I deserve it.

“Dude?” Ryan opens the passenger door and slides in, his eyes landing on my fist and the blood on the steering wheel. “So I see it’s going well in here.”

“How’s Ashley?” I ask, ignoring his sarcasm.

“About as good as you, I’m sure, but I don’t really know. She ran upstairs, but not before she screamed at me.”

“At you? Why? What did she say?”

“I tried to stop her, and she screamed, ‘Don’t,’ and pulled away. That was the extent of our conversation.” Ryan smiles.

I know he’s trying to help lighten the mood, but how can he smile right now? Just seeing it turns my stomach.

Ryan drops his smile and his lighthearted tone. “What were you thinking tonight?”

I rest my head back on my headrest and move my gaze to the street in front of us. “I wasn’t, I guess.” I shrug. “I’m in so much trouble. I can’t believe my dad drove over here tonight.”

“Yeah, the scene was not a good one when they found out Ash snuck out, but I’m sorry. I had no idea they called your dad.”

“It’s not your fault. Thanks for the warning, though. At least we had an idea of what we were coming back to.” I take a deep breath as I continue to stare out the front window. “Do you think they’ll change their minds?”

“Not tonight.”

“What are we going to do?” I turn back to Ryan. “I mean, we’re not breaking up.”

ASHLEY

The next thing I know, I’m on my bathroom floor. I’m not even sure how I got here. I don’t think I have ever felt this much anger toward anyone, not RTS, not Casey. I feel so betrayed by my own parents. How could they destroy the most important thing in my life?

I fluctuate between being nauseous and filling with rage. Then I grab my sweatshirt and instantly remember it’s Todd’s. I look down to see the peeling letters of EHS Football and completely lose it. Whatever tears were masked by anger start to pour out of me, so I run the water to cover the sound of my hysterics.

The next thing I know, I’m in the shower and steaming hot water is raining down on me. I feel a small glimmer of happiness. The water feels so good, so refreshing. I just need to stay here forever and pretend like nothing happened: the fight with my parents, the insane command. I don’t think I have ever heard my dad use that word before in my entire life.

I need the water to wash away what happened: seeing Todd walk out the door, all of it. I watch as the water goes down the drain and wish it was that simple to erase everything, to let it just float away down the drain.

Then I hear someone open the door. I must not have locked it.

“Ashley?” Ryan knocks as he says my name cautiously.

I don’t say anything. I’m not even sure I can speak. Normally, I would scream for him to get out, but I can’t bring myself to muster up the energy.

“I know you’re in there.”

I still don’t answer him.

“You’ve been in there for over an hour.”

At his words, I notice for the first time that the water is freezing. At some point, it changed from warm luxury to freezing drops of misery, but I’m so numb I barely feel it.

“Mom and Dad were afraid to come in, so they wanted me to check on you.” I hear him sit down and lean against the cabinet. “You okay?”

I laugh because that question couldn’t be more absurd.

“Well, at least you’re laughing,” he says, and then I hear him start to get up.

“I’m laughing because your question is ridiculous. What do you think? I’m totally fine. It’s
great
that Mom and Dad are making me break up with Todd.”

“I know, Ash. I just have no idea what to say to either of you. I can’t believe what just happened.” He slightly shouts over the pounding water. Part of me wants to get out because the water is freezing, and now that I’ve noticed, I can’t stop thinking about it. However, part of me doesn’t want to face reality. As soon as I get out, that’s what it will be
—
real. Plus, I don’t want Ryan to leave. I need to hear his voice to hold on to some sanity, but there is no way in hell I’m getting out of the shower with him in here. Thankfully, there is a shower curtain separating us.

“Todd is a mess,” Ryan says after a few minutes of silence.

Hearing those words makes me perk up a little, and I peek my head around the curtain. “You talked to him?”

“Yeah, I went after him when he left. He was outside in his car. He’s so pissed at his dad. Who knows what’s going to happen when they get home?”

“Sidney!” I say enthusiastically without even thinking as I slip back into the shower to shut the water off.

“What?”

“Sidney will know. I need to talk to her. Toss me a towel, please,” I shout over the curtain.

“Here you go, crazy,” Ryan says as my towel flies over the shower curtain and lands in my hands. “Why don’t you just talk to Todd?”

“Because he won’t tell me what’s happening with his dad, but Sid will. He’ll try to hide it from me, pretend everything is okay.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him. You really do know him, Ash.” I barely hear that last part; he says it so low.

“Duh. Now get out.” I need to talk to Sid. I’m not sure why this revelation has given me the boost I need to get out of the shower, but it does.

After a frantic search, I finally find my phone in the front pouch of Todd’s sweatshirt, and see there are twelve texts from Sid, all some variation of
What happened?
and
Call me
. The last one is from five minutes ago, so I’m sure she’s still up.

The phone doesn’t even ring before I hear Sid shout-whisper into the phone, “What happened?”

“It’s bad, Sid. How’s Todd?”

“Not good; hence, all of my texts. He came storming into the house, screaming at my dad. They were so loud they woke me up.”

“How about now?”

“Silence. Well, except I hear him on his guitar, and every once in a while, I hear something slam against the wall in his room.”

I take a deep breath. “Did you hear what they were saying when they were screaming at each other?”

“Not really. It was pretty muffled, but there were a lot of ‘how could yous?’ and I heard my mom down there, too. I figured it was best to pretend I was still asleep and call you for information since my brother is generally useless when it comes to stuff like this. I mean, he didn’t even tell me when you guys broke up last year.”

“Yeah, I know,” I whisper back.

“I think they took his phone.”

“Good to know.” My heart sinks. That was our only lifeline, but it explains why I only have texts from Sid.

Once I tell Sid what happened, she can’t believe it, either. She vows to get Todd any message I need, which I appreciate. Then again, it will be a little awkward to say what I really want to say to Todd through Sid.

Oh, well. I’ll take what I can get.

Chapter 11: The Aftermath

ASHLEY

It’s Monday morning, and I haven’t said one word to my parents since Saturday night.

I don’t think I have ever been this excited to go to school. I can’t wait to see Todd. Sid texted me and said he still doesn’t have his phone back, although his parents went out yesterday, so I got to talk to him on Sid’s phone. Just in case they are checking call histories, it would make sense if Sid called me. I wouldn’t put anything past our parents at this point, but luckily, I still have my phone.

Hearing Todd’s voice was incredible, but seeing him today is really what I need.

“Somebody is anxious to get to school,” Ryan says as he opens his car door.

“Yeah, yeah, just drive,” I answer as if he’s crazy, but it’s true. I have been sitting in his car for the last twenty minutes.

“Yeah, yeah,” he mocks as he pulls out of our driveway. “You talk to him this morning?”

“No. You?”

“No. Guess still no phone.”

“Mr. and Mrs. H. suck even worse than Mom and Dad. I can’t believe how much I hate them right now.”

Ryan doesn’t make a joke, only glances over with a sympathetic look. Then he takes a deep breath as his eyes meet the road again.

When we pull into the SL, I see Todd. He’s already here, leaning against his car and talking to Mark.

I swear, if it wasn’t for my seat belt or my brother sitting next to me, I would open the door and jump out while the car is still moving. But my parents would probably just blame Todd for any broken bones, and then we would never be able to see each other again.

As soon as Todd sees us, he comes over to Ryan’s car. Before I know it, I’m in his arms again and can finally breathe. Everything feels right with the world when his hands meet mine.

“I love you,” he whispers in my ear and then kisses me with so much passion I forget we are standing in the middle of the SL, surrounded by people. This kiss is full of everything I am feeling: hurt, pain, love, longing.

“Our parents made them break up,” I hear Ryan say, explaining the fact that neither of us are coming up for air. “Nothing to see here, folks,” I hear him say to passing students as he tries to block us with his body. Then MC joins in, and luckily, he’s a giant of a person, so he’s more successful than Ryan. Normally, Ryan would walk away, so he must really feel bad for us.

“Hamilton, you might want to get a room,” I hear Brian’s sarcastic drawl in the background, and then Blythe says, “What?” She sounds as appalled as I feel, so Ryan must be explaining what happened. None of this makes us separate, though.

I feel his hands slide over my arms and move down my back before they push through my hair. My lips are starting to get raw and burn, but I can’t stop, and I know Todd feels the same way.

“Teacher,” Ryan warns as he clears his throat. Then both Ryan and Mark say, “Teacher coming,” through coughs.

Todd must register it and what will happen if we get in trouble and have our parents called, because he abruptly pulls away. We both start to straighten out our clothes, and when I look up, I see Ryan, MC, Brian, and Blythe have made a human wall around us. This single act speaks volumes, and I know they have our backs.

Mrs. French passes our group, with just a nod and a smile.
Phew
.

“Thanks, guys,” Todd says as he wipes his mouth and grins at me. Both of our lips are red and swollen. Man, our parents should make us break up more often—that was amazing. Wait. What am I thinking?

“You need to be more careful,” Ryan says, taking on a parental tone. He eyes me and Todd, and I see the concern. I know without him saying anything that he cares. As much as he hates us together, he doesn’t want to see us apart.

“You’re right,” Todd agrees, dead serious. Then he turns to me. “He’s right, Ash. If we get caught, and they know we’re still together …” He shakes his head. “They can’t know.”

I just nod.

“I still don’t have my phone, but you know where to meet up, right?”

“Yup,” I say with a grin.

“I don’t even want to know.” Ryan shakes his head with a smile then turns to walk away.

***

I nonchalantly walk up to the janitor’s closet and knock twice, as if this is a perfectly normal thing to do. The door instantly opens.

Two knocks is our signal; it means the coast is clear.

Todd’s hand quickly pulls me into our closet where the smell of bleach fills the air. He brushes his hands over my hair and pulls me farther into him.

“I missed you.”

“I know. Breaking up sucks,” I whisper back with a smile.

“Tell me about it.” He leans down to kiss me. “We have twenty minutes. Charlie said he’d cover for us at lunch. He doesn’t need anything in the closet since this is his lunch break, too.” I feel him wrapping my hair around his finger as he talks through the plan. “So every day at lunch, we can be alone.”

“We can take turns packing lunches,” I interject.

“Sure.” He pulls me closer. “Or we don’t have to eat.” He gives me a sly, crooked smile.

“I, personally, need to eat,” I say with a kiss at the end of each word.

“Oh, yeah?” He returns each kiss as his lips float down my neck.

“Or I’ll never make it through swim practice.” I run my fingers through his soft hair as his wisps of breath send chills through my entire body.

On my words, I feel his body tense and his kisses stop, but his head remains resting near my neck, so his breath is still caressing my skin.

“Have you talked to him?”

“No,” I say, continuing my trail of kisses. I will not allow Casey to draw a wedge between us. “And I’m not going to.”

He stops and pulls back. “Don’t tell him what happened, Ash. Let’s not tell anyone the truth. This should just be between us.”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but I’m pretty sure Ryan told everyone this morning to explain why we were mauling each other.”

His eyes are locked on mine, his hands cradling my jaw. “Yeah, I know, but I’ll talk to them. The more people who know, the better chance of word getting back to our parents. We need to act like we’re not together. It’s you and me, same as always, but people shouldn’t know. I think everyone needs to think we’re broken up. I’ll talk to Ryan and the guys. You talk to Sid, Blythe, and Shane if he knows.”

“Done.” I can’t stop kissing him. I can’t get enough. I feel like he’s going to be ripped away from me at any second. “But wait. What about Casey? Do I tell him we broke up?”

“Shit. Casey.” Todd clenches his fists at his side and then runs them back through his hair. “I guess you need to tell him, or maybe just don’t bring it up. Let him think we’re still together. Don’t say one way or another.”

My heart starts to pound at just the thought. Casey is tough to get anything past. I know he won’t stop trying to figure it out if he thinks something is up.

“Look at me, Ash.” He pulls my chin up so our eyes lock. “We can do this; just until we convince our parents they’re wrong. Remember that I love you.
You.
No matter what.”

“You, too. No matter what.” I step up on my tiptoes and kiss him to show him just how much. Then we hear the muffled sound of the bell ringing and know our time is up.

After Todd opens the door and peeks outside to make sure the hall is empty, he looks back to me and then drops my hand.

“Here we go.”

***

I have been dreading seeing Casey. I want to punch him myself. I know he has no idea how much trouble Todd got in after their fight or what happened, but in my heart, I blame him for everything. Now I need to try to hide all of that and act like everything is fine. I know he’s going to see right through me, though.

I am the worst liar.

My heart is slamming against my chest, and I feel like I might vomit. Good thing I didn’t eat anything for lunch today. Damn, I didn’t eat anything today at all. This practice is going to be rough.

“Here goes nothing,” I whisper to myself.

“What?” Janice asks.

Wow, I really need to stop talking to myself out loud.

I give her a fake smile. “Oh, nothing. Sorry.”

“Hey, how was homecoming? Your boyfriend is so cute.” She giggles.

Fake, fake, fake,
I think to myself.

“It was great,” I say with a plastered smile as we approach Casey and the rest of the team.

This is the first time I’m laying eyes on him since the fight, and he looks pretty bad. He’s got a giant bruise across his cheekbone, a big gash across the bridge of his nose, and his lip looks like it was split open. It’s clear Todd won this one.

“What was great?” He gives me his bright white smile.

“Oh, my God. What happened to your face?” Janice shrieks. I try not to laugh at her reaction. I will be forever grateful to her for distracting him.

“What, this?” he asks innocently as his green eyes land on mine. “Just a misunderstanding, right, Ashley?” His confidence, even in defeat, is incredible. And from the way he looks at me when he says ‘misunderstanding,’ it’s as if he knows something. But he couldn’t, right?

“Were you there?” Janice whips her attention back to me.

I shrug and try to stall, but thankfully, we are interrupted by George’s shrill whistle as he calls the team over to the pool.
Thank you, George.

TODD

I’m having a hard time concentrating at practice today. I can’t stop thinking of Ashley with Casey. Every time I kick the ball, I picture his face on it. I hate that he is with her right now. I hate that he gets to spend time with her out in the open, while I have to sneak around just to see her.

I’m grateful when Coach tells us to run laps. I love the feeling of my feet pounding the pavement or asphalt or whatever it is we are running on. Usually, we all run together as a team, but today I need to be alone, so I take off at full speed and keep it up.

I know Ryan knows the whole story and will cover for me. I just need to concentrate on my feet and the track, nothing else. I try to push everything else out of my head, but it keeps creeping back in, so I just run harder, faster.

I feel the sweat dripping down my back, running into my eyes. I don’t care. I slam my feet harder with each step, trying to stamp out my dad’s voice, Casey’s face. I hate that I can’t even pick her up from practice today.

With each lap, I feel stronger. I don’t care about anything else, just running faster. I lose track of what lap I’m on, but it doesn’t matter; pushing myself is the only thing that is helping.

“Todd. Todd!” Ryan’s in front of me, running backward to get my attention, trying to get me to slow down. I’m at full speed, so he’s got to be running incredibly fast backward. He’s always been faster than me, the asshole.

“Todd, stop!” he shouts in my face.

I slow down a bit. He’s going to kill himself running backward this fast.

“I can’t!” I shout back. I need to keep going.

“Dude, just stop.” He reaches out to me. At this point, we are at a slow jog, but I need to keep going, or I’m going to have to face reality again.

Out of nowhere, Mark side tackles me, and we land on the grass in the middle of the field. Damn, that hurt.

“What the fuck? Are you trying to kill me?” I shout.

When my eyes finally focus on them, I realize they are out of uniform and have already showered.

“Shit, how long was I running?”

“An hour?” Ryan shrugs and looks at Brian and Mark who all nod in agreement.

“Coach wants to see you in his office,” Mark says as he gets up off the ground and reaches his hand out to help me up.

“You need to pull it together before you go in there,” Brian says. I know it has to be bad if Brian is telling me to pull it together.

I run my hands through my hair and feel how drenched with sweat it is. “Yeah, you’re right.” I wipe the sweat off my face with the inside of my shirt and take a deep breath. “I’m good.”

Ryan gives me a look that says he doesn’t buy it for a second. “Good luck.” He pats my shoulder pads.

When I’m finally standing outside Coach’s door, my heart won’t slow down. What could he want? Shit.

I have pulled my hand up to knock at least a hundred times, but I can’t bring myself to actually do it. I can’t afford to lose football, too.

Knowing I can’t put it off any longer, I take a deep breath and finally knock.

“Come in,” I hear from the other side of the frosted glass window.

“Todd.” A smile graces his face, causing my heart to slow for a second. “Come in and sit down, son.” He gestures to the wooden chairs lined up in front of his desk.

I’m still in pads and uniform, so it’s awkward to sit here. I should have changed and showered first. Damn.

His eyes study me for an uncomfortably long time. He threads his hands together, rests them on his desk, and takes a deep breath. “What is going on with you, son?”