Unbreakable (34 page)

My heart’s slow clang against my chest was like funeral bell. “You mean…?”

“He said he’s going to try to make it work with her. For Callie’s sake, I guess.”

“Oh.”

Lilah looked concerned but waited silently.

“I wish I could tell you to go over there and knock some sense into his fool head but…” Vic said.

“It’s for Callie.”

“Yeah.” A pause. “You okay? I don’t know what all went down with you two but he seemed so…what’s the word?
Mas vivo
, you know? Really alive, for the last week and—”

I didn’t hear anything else. I felt as if the walls of Lilah’s condo were closing in around me. “Okay, I have to go, Vic. Thank you. I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up and looked at Lilah. “That was a dumb thing to say. I’m not going to talk to him later. Or ever again. Okay, so that’s that. Cory’s not only moving to Alaska, he’s going to try to stick it out with Georgia. And that’s exactly what I should do with Drew.” I got to my feet and shouldered my purse with shaking hands.

Lilah rose with me. “Alex, wait…”

My words came out in a rush. “He’s back with Georgia and I’m back with Drew and life is going to finally get back to the way it was before the damned robbery. Just like I’ve been wanting.”

“Alex…”

“It wasn’t real,” I said. “Whatever was between Cory and me, it wasn’t real. We stepped out of time. It wasn’t life but an interlude that began with the surreal chaos of that bank robbery. But now it’s over. Time to stop playing and get back to work. I have to pick up where I left off and put everything—
everything
—behind me.”

Lilah shook her head. “Don’t do this, Alex…”

“Thanks for listening to me.” I gave Lilah a stiff hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. At the engagement party.”

Lilah might have said something more as I hurried for the door but I didn’t hear it. I was struggling too hard to keep the tears back.

I don’t cry. I never cry, and if I start now, I might never stop.

Cory

It was nearly ten p.m. on Thursday night when I arrived at Georgia’s apartment. She had called me over, presumably to watch Callie while she went out. Again. But I’d told Vic—to whose couch I’d been relegated yet again—that I’d decided to tell Georgia I would give up the fight. I’d move to Alaska, move
with
her if she wanted, to try to make the three of us work.

Vic had tried—vehemently and with much cursing in Spanish—to talk me out of it. “You don’t even fight for Alex?” he had demanded. “You let her marry someone else? And you go back to Georgia? Why?”

“Alex doesn’t know what she wants. But I can’t live there and have
Callie
live there, only to have Alex decide it’s all too much. I can’t do that to Callie. Pull the rug out from under her like that. That’s the bottom line.”

There was no arguing that. Vic had let me go.

Now, at the bottom of the cement staircase that led to Georgia’s place, I wished my friend had tried harder. I gripped the iron railing with its peeling paint, unable to take another step.
You’ll be with Callie. Every day. Make this work and you might have some semblance of a real family.

I tried to imagine life in Alaska. My mind conjured a rustic house against a forest brushed with snow, winters that were bone cold, and nights that could last for months. And Alex…Alex would be hundreds of miles away, and it seemed as if all the warmth and fire in the world would be with her, leaving me cold and empty.

Was Vic right, and I didn’t fight hard enough? But damn, what was I supposed to do? Grab her and shake her and demand she love me? My pride wouldn’t stand for it and my heart couldn’t take it if the answer was no.

I swallowed the jagged lump in my throat and took the stairs, feeling is if lead weights hung from my feet.

Georgia answered the door, her eyes red-rimmed and her voice thick. “Hi.”

“Are you all right?” I stepped inside, alarmed. “How is Callie? Where—?”

Georgia flapped her hands, irritated. “She’s fine. I’m fine. We’re all fine. She’s sleeping so let’s keep it down, please. I don’t want to her to wake up.” She shivered at the idea. “You want something to drink? Tea? Or maybe a beer?”

I sat on the couch, warily watching her. “A beer, thanks.” It occurred to me that Georgia was not usually so solicitous unless she wanted something. I sighed. She could cut the act. She was about to get everything she wanted.

She returned from the kitchen with two cans of Heineken, and sat in the chair opposite the couch. She didn’t drink her beer, but set it down on the table with hands that trembled slightly. Her eyes darted to the wall clock.

“Aren’t you going out?” I asked.

“Not yet. I want to…talk first.”

“Good, yeah, me too.” I took a long pull on my beer and set it down. “I have something to tell you.”

Her glance darted to the clock again. “Okay.”

Once I spoke, there’d be no taking it back. No
going
back. Not to Los Angeles, not to Alex…I inhaled and let it out slowly.

“I wanted to tell you that I ditched the inspection. I won’t fight the move to Alaska. In fact, I’ll…move with you. I’ll mar…” The word stuck in my throat. “I’ll marry you, if that’s what you want. I want to make it work. For Callie. Whatever happens, I want to be able to say I did everything I could to make it right for all of us.”

Georgia stared at me, as if seeing me for the first time.

“I know, you’re probably shocked at the turnaround after I put you through the hearing…Anyway, I have to figure out something up there for Pops. Might take a little time to get him settled, but then I’ll be there and we can start again. Okay?”

Georgia stared at me for a good ten seconds more and then burst into tears. She buried her face in her hands, her long blonde hair curtaining down around her.

I frowned, confused. “What? Hey, it’s okay.”

Georgia lifted her tear-stained face, her voice tight and high. “What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me that I can’t love you? You’re a good man! Over and over again, the universe gives me chances to be as good as you, to love you. Like tonight. You’d give it all up to do what’s right, but instead of joy or relief I feel
nothing.
”

“I don’t understand…”

“What happened with that Alex woman? It didn’t work out? Is that why you’re here, pledging to
marry
me?” She barked a laugh and then lowered her voice that was full of tears. “You want a family so badly, you’re willing to do anything to get one. Even if it means being miserable with me.”

“Georgia. I’m just trying—”

“To do the right thing, yes, I know. That’s what you do. You build things and fix things, and you’re trying to fix us, but Cory, we cannot be fixed. We are broken beyond repair.”

She waved her hands in front of me to preclude me speaking further, and moved to sit beside me. She took my face in her hands, tears streaming down her face. I expected any number of things to come out of her mouth in that moment, an infinity of words and their infinite combinations.

But nothing could have prepared me for those she actually spoke.

“Whatever we are, whatever I am, I know I am not a terrible mother. I’m
not
. That’s why I’m going to do the best possible thing for our little girl.” She swallowed her tears and said, “I’m going to Alaska. Tonight. But not with you and…not with Callie.”

Time slowed to a halt as the words sunk in, like knives pressed slowly into my chest. Georgia’s hands slid off my face and I watched her, stunned, as she went to the window and lit a cigarette with shaking hands.

“Georgia…”

“Don’t, Cory. Just don’t,” she said, the hard edge in her voice had returned, like an iron wall coming down. “You can’t change my mind, so don’t bother.”

I got to my feet because sitting made me feel like I was sinking into quicksand. Pain constricted my chest so I could hardly breath. “You’re leaving. Alone.”

“My ride will be here in about ten minutes,” she said tonelessly.

“You’re leaving
Callie
.” I could hardly believe the words as they came out of my mouth. “No. That’s crazy.” I barked a short laugh. “Of course not. Come on, Georgia.”

“I’m serious, Cory. And I’m not crazy. It’s the sanest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Sane?” I scrubbed my hands over my face. “
Sane?
How…how long have you been planning this? You fought to keep her…Why go through the hearing if you were just going to up and leave all along?” My eyes widened as a new thought occurred to me. “Were you going to disappear with her?”

Georgia had the nerve to look appalled “What do you take me for? I was going to go to Alaska to live with my aunt, like I said. But the more I thought about what it would be like to go on my own, the more I couldn’t
stop
thinking about it. Then, a few weeks ago, I got a notice saying that she died. My aunt up and died and left me some money. Not a huge fortune, but enough. Enough for me to start out and that’s when I decided it was really possible. And I swear to God, Cory I know it’s the right decision because ever since I made it I feel…like something jarred loose and clanging around in me has been locked into place.”

“And what, Georgia? I’m supposed to feel happy for you?” I cried. “Am I supposed to be
relieved
that you’re leaving without her?”

“Goddammit, keep your voice down.
Do not
wake her up.” Tears welled in Georgia’s eyes again. “I already said goodbye. I can’t do it twice.”

I sucked in a breath. “You…you told her?”

“Of course not,” Georgia said, stubbing her cigarette out in a green glass ashtray. “I told her I loved her and I…I kissed her goodnight.” The tears were falling now, but she brushed them away. “It’s the best thing. It is.”

“No,” I said, as the first wave of shock passed, leaving burning fury behind. My pulse thundered in my ears so I could hardly hear my own words. “
No
.
You can’t do this to her. Are you out of your mind? You’re going to leave your little girl and…and what? Just never see her again?
Abandon
her?”

Georgia whirled on me, jabbing her finger at my chest. “Stop being so goddamn dramatic. I’m not abandoning her! You’ll be with her, so quit trying to make me feel guilty.”

“You should feel guilty!” I seethed, struggling not to scream and rage, but while I hated Georgia just then—hated her with a depth I hadn’t thought myself capable of—the last thing in the world I wanted was Callie to witness this.

I held up my hands and fought for calm. “Okay, now wait. Just wait. Let’s talk about this…”

“My ride will be here in five minutes.”

“
No!
Please, Georgia. I’m sorry. This is all my fault. I’m sorry I pressured you with the hearing. I didn’t realize how hard it was for you. I can do better. I can do
more
. We can split custody. Or…change it into something you can work with.” I took a step toward her, pleading. “And I’m sorry I threw out marriage like I did. We don’t have to get married. I don’t have to live with you in Alaska. I can get my own place. We can work it out. Okay? Please.”

Georgia smiled sadly. “It’s too late, Cory. But thank you. Thank you for being willing to do whatever it takes. You’ve always been so responsible, even when I accused you otherwise. Even when we were young and stupid enough to think one night wouldn’t get us in trouble. Even then, you were ready to step up.”

She shook her head, looked at the ceiling. “But we got pregnant too young. I wasn’t ready at nineteen and I’m still not ready, seven years later. I had planned a life in my head that was…so different than the one we had. Than the one I
have
now. And I can’t do it anymore. I tried. I try every day and every day I get worse and worse. Like a disease.”

She looked at me, pleading, her eyes full. “I snap at her
constantly
. It’s not
discipline
or being
strict
, it’s
regret.
Can you imagine it? That sweet little girl being the object of so much resentment?
It’s too ugly to contemplate. She doesn’t deserve it but I can’t help it. And don’t think she hasn’t noticed, because she has. She
knows
, and I can’t watch her happiness—her sweetness—become poisoned by me. Not anymore.”

Georgia heaved a breath and wiped her eyes, obviously relieved of her burden.

“Alaska is just the starting place, so don’t look for me. Don’t try to track me down because you won’t find me, I promise. I’m going to get lost for a while and I don’t want to be found.”

I watched, too stunned to speak, as she went to her bedroom and came back dragging a huge backpack, the kind that college kids trekking across Europe might use. A text came on her phone and she glanced at it.

“My ride’s here.” She got to her feet. “I haven’t paid rent all month. To save money. I hope you have some place to take her. The beach house, right? She likes it there. She told me.”

I could hardly breathe for what I was hearing. Everything was crashing down and I could do nothing—
nothing—
to stop it.

“Georgia, don’t do this,” I said, my voice shaking. “You
can’t
do this. You can’t leave her. She’s a little girl. She’s
your
little girl.”

Georgia smiled sadly. “I never thought I’d be the kind of mother to leave my child. Never. But don’t you get it? It’s not the
worst thing I could do
.”

She drew near me, stroked my cheek. “And I’m leaving her in good hands. The best.”

I snatched her hand by the wrist, gripping hard. She glanced down at where my fingers dug into her skin. “Are you going to cause a scene? With threats and police and Callie waking up to the kind of shit they show on ‘COPS?’ Is that what you want?”

My grip loosened but didn’t let go, I couldn’t let her go. “She’ll think this is her fault. You know she will.” Tears blurred my vision, thickened in my throat. “Georgia, what am I going to tell her?”

She slipped her and out of mine and went to the door, opened it. “You’re a wonderful father, Cory. You’ll think of something.”

The door shut and another opened behind me.

“Daddy?”