Unbreakable (22 page)

Alex

I awoke, disoriented. Sunlight streamed in from the front windows instead of from my bedroom.
Where…?

My head was pillowed against Cory’s chest. He lay propped against the arm of the couch and I lay sprawled over him, his body under mine, strong and lean. I fit against him perfectly, like a puzzle piece. The steady
thump
of his heartbeat counted time in my ear, and his arm lay slung over my shoulders. The deep, evenness of his breathing told me he was still asleep.

How did we end up like this?

I had to extricate myself. It was one thing to take comfort from him in the bank where death roamed the corridors, but now there was no excuse.

Fine, then I’m still asleep…

I squeezed my eyes shut and nestled closer. He smelled so good. Masculine and clean and something that was just distinctly him. I nearly did fall back to sleep. Every night since the robbery I’d tossed and turned, or slept fitfully, only to be awoken by an imagined gunshot or a scream. But a handful of minutes against Cory’s shoulder and I was out like a light.

Except now, my body, lying against his, was done sleeping.

I shifted ever so slightly against his hip and felt a rush of heat between my legs, and my mind came wide-awake too, filled with all the ways I wanted him.

And God, I wanted him. I wanted to wake him up by putting my hands and mouth on him, stroking him with both, as I listened for the sounds of his release, a release that
I
was bringing him. I wanted to lift his shirt and trace the ridges of his abdomen, which I had felt but not seen in the bank, with my tongue. I wanted to push him on his back and straddle him, ride him until we both shuddered with ecstasy, and the house was filled with our voices, unrestrained and uninhibited.

I flinched out of my reverie, my heart pounding. I studied Cory’s face—if he was awake, I didn’t think I could have helped myself. But his eyes were closed, his face peaceful in sleep.

Oh god, what is wrong with me?
I let out a shaking breath and carefully slipped out from under his arm. He stirred but didn’t wake, and I went to the kitchen where I gripped the pale gray granite until the rush had passed.

There was a ten-dollar bill next to my note. I didn’t have to look in to the over to know he hadn’t touched the pizza. It had stung a little, that he hadn’t come back last night. But I reminded myself that he could come and go as he pleased. I’d be damned before I policed his whereabouts, much less let myself care.

Even so, it had stung.

You can’t let it sting. And you can’t entertain your pathetic sexual fantasies with him. It’s not fair and you know it.

I slipped into my room to shower and dress. I had lunch with the Posse, and then my mother and I had an appointment to pick out flowers. For my wedding. My wedding to Drew.

In the shower, I turned the water all the way to cold and didn’t relent until the fire was doused completely.

#

I slipped out of the bungalow while Cory was in the shower getting ready for work, so I had some time to kill before the noon lunch date. I wandered around Neiman Marcus, proud that I could be out alone without any strange feelings of vulnerability. I was getting better, and that was a sign, wasn’t it?

I rode that small wave of optimism, until I found myself in the lingerie department, and then it died a swift death.

I shopped for lingerie like a junky with an addiction. I bought beautiful pieces, some racy pieces, some very naughty pieces, and I wore them every day. Every. Day. It had begun years ago, when I still cherished the pathetic hope that some night Drew would decide he couldn’t stand it anymore. He’d tear off my clothes and find a little something more to keep his blood racing.

Now, it had just become habit.

I let my fingers trail along a sexy, lacy black thong and matching bra that would make my breasts look as if they’d spill out at the slightest touch.

Cory would know what to do if I wore something like this. He’d know
exactly
what to do.

The flush of heat I’d doused in the cold shower came back, not doused at all. Only lurking.
Dammit!

I hurried out of the store and walked briskly to my lunch date with the Posse. Not that I was eager to be there, but normalcy and routine. I needed both. Desperately.

In the Belvedere, the talk drifted easily from one topic to another, and yet I struggled to participate. I felt as if the fact I was living with another man was written all over my face. Several times, between the salad ordering and the iced tea refills, I found the words in my mouth, along with a perfectly crafted explanation. An argument that would leave this jury of my peers without a doubt as to my innocence.

Except that I’m not innocent. I had sex with him. I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t sleep without him.
The last two facts were almost more incriminating than the first.

“You’re awfully quiet today.” Minnie took my hand in hers, her smile pitying. “How are you? How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.” I gave her hand a squeeze and slipped mine into my lap.

“Have you seen Dr. Kinley?” Antoinette asked.

“Uh, yes. Thanks for the referral.”

Rashida cut a perfect, square bite off her halibut. “Is he helping? That’s the real question.”

I twisted my napkin tightly in my lap. “I’ve only been once.”
And I don’t plan on going back.

“How are you sleeping, dear?” Minnie asked. “I do hope he’s given you something to help you sleep.”

“No,” I said, “because I haven’t needed anything. I sleep just fine.”
So long as I’m with Cory.
I cleared my throat. “Things are getting back to normal. I’ll be back at work soon and—”

“Back with Drew?” Antoinette asked, arching a brow. “Your engagement party is a week from Friday. Everything still on schedule?”

“To the minute.” I forced myself to take a bite of my scallops. Normally they were perfection. Today they tasted like oiled rubber. “In fact, I’m meeting my mother right after this lunch to do some flower shopping for the wedding.”

Minnie clapped her hands together. “Oh, how exciting! What are you planning for your bouquet? Which reminds me, do you remember Danielle Carson’s wedding? She carried the most gorgeous bouquet…”

The talk mercifully drifted away from me, to the various details of other weddings. But when the lunch ended, Lilah hung back and I steeled myself. My best friend had that look on her face. The one that told me I had a lecture coming. But Lilah surprised me by scooting into Minnie’s vacant seat on my left and taking my hand in hers.

“I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to panic.”

I leaned back. “That’s precisely the kind of opening salvo that usually causes panic.”

Lilah heaved a breath. “One of my colleagues was at Superior Court last week. He’s an attorney in Family Law and he heard that Judge Walker had the Shark Lady in front of his bench, rescuing a child custody case for the Hero of United One by renting him her own house.”

I knew the color was draining from my cheeks and I struggled to put on my jury face. “Lilah—”

“It’s true?” Lilah asked, snatching her hand away. “He’s…living with you? Are you…having an affair?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Then why didn’t you tell me? Does Drew know? He doesn’t, does he? I can tell by the look on your face.”

“Yes, and the look on
your face
is precisely why I didn’t say anything,” I spat back. “I’m trying to do something nice for someone who needs help—for someone who took a bullet in the lung for me—but I know how it looks. It’s just…bad timing, me being apart from Drew when Cory had this emergency. It’s not a torrid affair. I…I wouldn’t do that to Drew.”
Not twice, anyway.

Lilah held my gaze for a moment, studying me intently, not quite accusatory, not quite convinced. “I believe you.”

“Oh, thank you very much.”

“But be careful, Alex. I mean it.”

“I don’t need a lecture, Lilah. I’m a grown woman.”

“Yes, I think you do need a lecture. You forget, I know too much. I know you’re dissatisfied with Drew in the sack. I know you’re shaken up from the robbery and maybe not thinking clearly. But I’ve been there, Alex. I’ve found out the hard way that the person who had pledged his life to me had violated that trust, and it
hurts.
”

She held up a hand when I started to protest. “Tell Drew. Tell him before he finds out like I did. He’s got friends and colleagues all over the city. You think you can keep this from him? And if there’s nothing going on with you and this Cory person, why would you?”

At last, a silence, and I was ready to blast back. After all, I was an expert at crafting arguments designed to make the unbelievable believable. Instead, the weight of the secret was suddenly too heavy, and lying to Lilah would only make it unbearable.

“I already violated Drew’s trust,” I whispered. “In the bank. Cory and I…”

Lilah’s almond eyes widened, and she stared at me, shocked silent. Then she barked a kind of half laugh. “No, you didn’t. In the bank? Wait
, in the bank?
While you were being
held hostage
?”

I nodded miserably. “I was scared, desperate. I thought I was going to die and so did he. I just wanted to feel alive and for the first time in a long time, surrounded by the threat of death, I did. I felt alive when I was with Cory.” Tears sprang to my eyes but I willed them back.
I never cry. Never.
I heaved a steadying breath.

“So it’s done,” I said. “And I regret it but I also don’t. It’s something that happened in a bubble. A time apart from real life. It doesn’t count.”

“
Doesn’t count
?” Lilah gaped. “Are you hearing yourself? You fucked this Cory guy in the middle of a hostage crisis?”

“Will you keep your voice down?”

“Who does that? How is that even possible?” She didn’t wait for an answer but grabbed her purse and walked.

“Lilah, wait, you’re not even listening to me,” I said, following.

“No, I’m not,” she said storming through the restaurant with me on her heels. “I don’t want to hear any of your patented Shark Lady speeches.”

At the valet, I grabbed her arm. “Hey. The only thing that’s between Cory and me now is the shared trauma of the robbery. He saved my life, so I’m helping him, but that’s all. I’m going to live with Drew, I’m going to
marry
Drew, and my life will return to where it was before. And I’ll tell him I’m renting my bungalow to Cory. I’ll tell him and he’ll understand.”

“Yes, he will.” Lilah yanked her arm away. “Because he’s a good man. Whatever his failings, he’s a good man.” She inhaled deeply, regained some measure of composure.

“I love you, Alex,” she said. “You’re my best friend. But I’ve been through the wringer and now my tolerance for bullshit has evaporated. I can’t do this. I can’t pretend like I’m okay with it, because I’m not. And you and I haven’t been close enough lately for me to entertain all the reasons you think it’s okay. I’m sorry, but I’m just not the right person for you to be talking to about this. Not right now.”

The valet brought her car and she moved to the driver’s side.

“But there is one person who you should be doing a lot of talking to,” she said. “And you know exactly who he is.”

#

“These are quite lovely,” my mother said, letting her manicured and bejeweled fingers trail along the lip of a calla lily. “Elegant. Understated. Beautiful.”

I nodded absently as my mother and I wandered the flower boutique, waiting for Liza, our consultant, to join us for our appointment.

“What’s wrong, darling? You’ve been moping all day.”

“Nothing,” I said. “Lilah and I had a…disagreement.”

“Lilah…Tran? Wasn’t she the unfortunate girl who married and divorced within two months? I didn’t realize you were still close with her.” She clucked her teeth. “A shame. And shameful. Marriage isn’t like shoe shopping, for crying out loud.”

“He cheated on her, Mother,” I said. “It’s not like she up and changed her mind…”

“Well, she certainly didn’t prepare herself, then. Not like you and Drew. Six years together. Many young people these days don’t even stay married for that long. You two are smart to wait. No secrets. No surprises. Now let’s focus on the flowers, dear. These are important decisions that can only be made once. There’s no taking it back, once the order has been placed.”

“Isn’t there?” I looked at my mother. “I can’t change my mind?”

“You could,” she conceded, “but not without a grand amount of chaos and upset. Too much has already been arranged. Your wedding is going to be the lovely, beautiful fairytale we all want it to be.”

I nodded absently. Too much had been arranged. Too many years spent building a life. Too late to tear it all down, too late to send it all back. Too late…

I examined the calla lily.
Calla. Like Callie.
“You really don’t want grandchildren?”