Unbreakable (25 page)

Christmas morning dawned brightly, the skies clearing and the sunlight falling across the dark hardwoods in our bedroom. I checked the bedside alarm clock and saw that it was close to noon. Drake was still asleep so I slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom, then I went to the kitchen to start coffee. We’d go over to my parents for Christmas dinner, but would spend the day to ourselves.

I stopped and glanced at the Christmas tree in the small living room – there were only two presents under it – one from Drake to me and one from me to Drake – a framed photo of Liam I had prepared while Drake had been away at the hospital checking on his patients.

I hoped he liked it. I was sure he would treasure it and it would be a complete surprise.

I bent down and picked up the gift from Drake and was examining it when I heard his voice.

“Hey, no peeking!” He was dressed in his robe and was standing in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “At least wait for me before you open it.”

I laughed and waited for him to join me on the couch, my own cup of coffee in hand. I took a taste but it suddenly turned my stomach and so I put the cup down and swallowed hard, hoping Drake hadn’t noticed.

He came over and sat beside me, handing me the gift. “Now you can open it.”

I forced a smile and swallowed down my nausea. The wrapping paper was white foil with gold doves on it and the ribbon was gold. I untied the ribbon and removed the paper and frowned. It was a CD and when I turned it over, I saw that it had a picture of Drake playing a guitar in a dark room – maybe O’Riley’s.

“Is this a recording of you playing?”

He nodded. “Ken recorded me and burned the CD. It’s my favorite song.”

I looked up at him, tears in my eyes, for I knew that his music was his last bastion of bachelorhood – the one place I hadn’t been yet, other than the night he played for me.

“Can I play it now?” I said, my voice emotional.

“Be my guest,” he said, smiling softly.

I went to the sound system, my hands shaking, and slid the CD into the old CD player.

Soon, the strains of an old Beatles song played over the speakers.

“And I Love Her” – the song he played for me that night so long ago.

I went back to him and sat on his lap, kissing him deeply, my hands holding his face. “I love you so much.”

“And I you,” he said and kissed me again. We sat like that for a few moments and listened to the song.

When it finished, I took my gift and gave it to Drake. He took it gingerly and carefully removed the paper, turning it over and then seeing the image of Liam, his face like a miniature Drake, with clear blue eyes and thick dark lashes meant more for a girl than a boy. His black hair still mussed, despite Maureen’s hasty attempt to smooth it.

“Oh, my God, Kate,” he said, holding it up close, his eyes moving over the image. “How on earth did you get this?”

“I asked Maureen for a picture for you and she agreed.” I didn’t tell him anything else, because he didn’t need to know how upsetting it was to get it.

“It’s amazing,” he said and pulled me into his arms. “It’s the best gift I’ve ever received. Ever.”

I smiled and hugged him tightly. He pulled away and seemed mesmerized by the photo, shaking his head slowly.

“I’m surprised she gave it to you, considering how she feels about me.”

“She’s thankful that you saved Liam’s life.”

“She said that?” he said and turned to me, his eyes wide.

“Yes, of course,” I said. I didn’t add the rest of what she said that day. Drake didn’t need to hear it.

Drake put the picture on the coffee table, standing it up using the easel attached to the frame. “I’d like one for my office. Can we make a copy?”

I nodded.

He pulled me back into his arms and we sat like that for a few moments, enjoying the silence and the warmth from the morning sun, which fell across the floor and onto the sofa.

“Honestly, Kate, this has been the best Christmas ever. Seriously.” He pulled back and looked into my eyes. “I feel as if I have a life now. A real life. Before I met you, I was just existing.”

I nodded. “Me, too.”

My eyes were wet and he smiled and leaned in to kiss me. It was then I pulled out the final gift for Drake. A long white box wrapped in a shiny red ribbon.

“Here,” I said, my voice choked. “One more gift.”

Drake frowned. “Hey, you,” he said and took the present. “We agreed only two presents each. Why did you get me another one?”

“It’s for both of us,” I said as he pulled the ribbon off the box.

“Both of us?” he said, his expression one of curiosity now. “A set of gold pens?”

He removed the wrapping and took the lid off. Beneath the lid was a layer of batting, and then he removed that, eager to see what it was.

He picked it up. My pregnancy test.

Positive.

He turned to me and the look in his eyes was all I needed to send me over into full-fledged tears.

“Oh, 
Kate
,” he whispered, his own eyes wet. He pulled me into his arms, his face buried in my neck, and said nothing, squeezing me tighter and tighter.

Nothing needed to be said. Words seemed trivial compared to the emotions I knew we both were feeling and so we sat there in the apartment on 8
^th
 Avenue, wrapped in each other’s arms, the noise from the street filtering in under the open window, the church bells ringing in the distance.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Drake

I learned on Christmas Day that I was going to be a father and the news made me the happiest man on Earth. Kate had become pregnant in late November when I thought there was no way she would because she had so recently stopped her birth control. She was five weeks pregnant and due on August 26
^th
.

If you went back in time to just over a year and a half earlier and watched me go through my very hectic day, you’d have seen a man who was rushing through his life, kept busy so he didn’t have to think too much about the lack of love in his life.

Sure, I had friends. Ken and Dave and the band. I had Lara, my confessor. I had the O’Rileys who acted as a substitute family. I had my submissives, who quenched my thirst for bondage and dominance during sex.

But I had no one who knew me completely, who loved me completely, and who wanted to grow old with me.

That’s what I hid from. That’s what kept me so busy, running from one part of my life to the next, with barely any time to breathe. I told myself that kind of life was not for me but instead, the truth was that I was afraid of having that life, of trying for it, in case I failed. Romance was the one part of my life I failed at -- miserably. I didn’t like to fail. Solution? Don’t even try.

It’s a coward’s solution of course, but at that time, I was afraid of being hurt again. Maureen leaving me for another man – one who gave her what she obviously needed and what I failed to give her – hurt me more deeply than I cared to admit.

Here I was, just over a year and a half later, committed to being a total family man. Wife, child, three-bedroom apartment with a room I was eyeing for a nursery, a smile on my face.

There was only one dark cloud on our horizon and that was Lisa Monroe, who had been too busy with exams and cases to bother me over Christmas, and especially after our little chat at the hospital, but she did ghost me whenever we had a joint conference or during grand rounds. We scrubbed in together on cases, and of course, we had coffee with the group on a regular basis.

She hadn’t pushed things or mentioned Richardson since that day in the hallway, and I hoped that she finally realized that nothing was going to happen between us. Still, I had never forgotten that look in her eyes, and she still insisted on us being ‘friendly’ with each other, although I had to force it.

If she never existed, I would be only too happy.

So it was that I had almost forgotten about Lisa and her threats to expose me if I wasn’t her ‘friend.’ Sadly, that time of peace came to an abrupt end that afternoon as I was leaving the hospital to go home.

“Drake!” she called out to me as I was leaving through a rear staff door.

I stopped, and had to force myself not to roll my eyes.

“Lisa,” I said, not smiling.

“Can you drop me off at home?”

“I’m in a rush,” I said and shook my head.

“It’s on the way,” she said.

“How do you know that?”

“I know where you live,” she said. “On 8
^th
. My residence isn’t too far off your track.”

“I have to stop and get something at the foundation,” I said. I had planned on dropping by to pick up a package of material for a board meeting on the weekend.

“I can wait,” she said, pulling on her jacket. “I can check my email while you go in. That’s the foundation you started in honor of your dad? Surgical equipment for hospitals in Africa? I do my research…”

I frowned, not happy with the prospect of taking her to her residence. “I have to meet with someone there, so I really can’t drop you off…”

“I’d love to go inside and see it for myself,” she said, undeterred.

“No,” I said firmly. “I just can’t, Lisa. I’m sorry.”

She frowned at me. “You have to be nice to me. I thought you understood that.”

I sighed. “I am nice to you.”

I walked out of the building and she followed me to my parking spot. My mind was busy, trying to figure out what I should do. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t. I decided I’d drop her off first and then go home. I didn’t want her coming into the foundation.

“I’ll drop you off first,” I said and got in my car. She got into the passenger side and fastened her seatbelt.

“No,” she said and settled back, a satisfied expression on her face. “I think I’d like to come up and see your foundation. You’re such a charitable man, Drake. You can give me a bit of your time.”

I drove off, determined to ignore her demand. When I turned down the street that led to her residence instead of the foundation, she must have noticed and turned to me, frowning.

“I said I wanted to come in with you.”

I gritted my teeth. “I said I was dropping you off first.”

“Turn around and go to your foundation.”

I kept driving. She finally gave in, sighing heavily and dramatically. “So afraid of having a woman friend?”

“You’re a resident,” I said quietly. “I’m one of your supervisors. Technically, we shouldn’t be socializing outside of work.”

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” she said and wagged her eyebrows. When I didn’t respond, she laughed. “Oh,
Drake
, for heaven’s sake, lighten up! No one’s going to know what we do except you and me. Seriously, we can do anything we want. Manhattan is a big city and it’s not like anyone’s following us.”

“Here you go,” I said and pulled up to her residence. I didn’t look at her. I waited, the car engine running.

“Very well,” she said, her voice sour. “But I expect you to be friendly with me. I’m not going to bite,” she said. “Unless you want me to.”

With that she left the car and I caught her smile as she closed the door.

Then, I drove off as quickly as I could.

Friendship wasn’t enough for her. Besides, we could never be friends, even if that was all she wanted. Not after threatening me.

I knew what I had to do.

I had to quit.

I had to give up my fellowship and leave my practice at NYP, whatever was left of it for if she did follow through on her threat to out me, I’d have to leave. My reputation would be smirched and the hospital would probably want to cut ties. I should have done it when she first mentioned Richardson and Sunita, but I hadn’t wanted to consider it. I’d go and speak with Fred Parker and let him know I was withdrawing from the fellowship and would go somewhere else later.

Lisa’s residency was seven years long. I’d have to leave Manhattan if I wanted to enter a formal fellowship program in pediatric neurosurgery, since New York University had the only pediatric neurosurgery program in Manhattan. Lisa couldn’t do any damage to me if I was no longer practicing medicine in New York.

At that moment, I couldn’t imagine that there was anything else I could do. I couldn’t give in to her because she’d keep pushing and pushing, expecting something more than friends.

I still hadn’t spoken to Kate about it, because I didn’t want to upset her over nothing. Kate had enough on her plate, with her Master’s program, our new life as a married couple, renovations to the 8
^th
Avenue apartment, and now her pregnancy, which had resulted in morning sickness that lasted all day into evening.

Both of us were extremely busy and there was only an hour or two for us to be together when she felt well enough to get out of bed or off the sofa, so I wanted our time to be quality time. The last thing I wanted was for her to be worrying about another woman I had absolutely no interest in.

I had to quit.

Kate was lying on the couch, blankets wrapped around her, and the channel changer in her hand when I walked into the living room. I went right over and kissed her on the mouth, so happy to see her smile.

“Hello, Mrs. Morgan,” I said softly, stroking her face. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you.”

“Me as well,” she said and smiled up at me. “Rough day?”

“Yep,” I said and sat on the sofa beside her, leaning over her, taking her in with a long glance. Her hair was mussed and her eyes sleepy but she was beautiful. I loved her so much at that moment, I felt a choke in my throat.

“Tell me about it, Dr. Morgan,” she said and reached up to touch my face. “Let it all out. That’s what I’m here for.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re here for more than just being a sounding board. You,” I said and tucked the blanket around her, “are my heart and soul. I don’t want to burden you with the day to day crap I deal with.”

“Is it crap?” she said, her eyes widening. “I thought you were enjoying your fellowship…” Then she frowned and searched my face, but I tried to avoid her eyes. “Tell me, Drake.” She cupped my cheek with a hand. “You have to tell me everything. No secrets.”