Unbreakable (11 page)

“No one is forced to do anything they don't want to,” Noah said quietly. Even though his tone was light, he was obviously rebuking Jonathon. “The tenets of our faith are in place to protect us. To help us. Not to control us.”

“You've got to admit it hasn't always been that way,” Lizzie
said. “I remember what it was like when my father was an elder.”

“I do too,” Mary said. “It's one of the reasons I left.”

“I understand,” Noah said, frowning, “but as you said, Jonathon, we're undergoing transformation. I guess I'm just trying to say that not everything we believe needs to change. Nonviolence is our way of following the teachings of Christ.”

“But not everyone follows Jesus, Noah,” Jonathon said. Noah started to say something else, but Jonathon held his hand up. “Look, we could go around and around about this, but what good would it do? We'll take unloaded rifles with us. There's no way we can hurt anyone with an empty weapon. Everyone here is trying to follow their faith the best they can. In my opinion, this is the perfect solution.”

Silence followed his statement. Noah shrugged but didn't say anything. Jonathon and Roger got up and went downstairs to set up a schedule for patrols. Sophie and Mary followed behind them. Noah, Lizzie, and I were left upstairs staring at one another.

“I don't know how to feel about this,” I told them. “Jonathon may have saved my life. If he hadn't come along when he did, I might not be here right now.”

Noah took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “That's why I'm not trying to stop them. I don't have all the answers. I know what I believe, but when it came down to it, I used violence to stop the man who was trying to hurt Lizzie and Charity.” Lizzie got up and came over to the couch, plopping down next to him and grabbing his hand. He kissed her fingers. “And if I had to do it again, I would.” He shook his head. “You'll have to find your own way here, Hope. But
I can't carry a rifle, even if it's unloaded. Maybe if I wasn't an elder in the church, I could find a way to justify it. But for now I'll have to stand with the other elders and with our pastor. And I know they wouldn't approve of this plan.”

I stood up. “Thank you both for being so candid—and for trying to do what's right. I've always believed in peace, but when I close my eyes at night I can still see that red truck coming toward me. I also think about Avery. I know that revenge belongs to God, but I must also be honest and tell you that there is anger in my heart against the person who killed him. I can't stand by and let another one of our friends die because I did nothing.” I could feel tears on my cheeks. The emotion that had been building inside me since Avery's death seemed to be coming out on its own. Lizzie got up and came over to me, putting her arms around me. She held me while I sobbed.

“It's all right,” she said softly, patting me on the back. “Everything will be okay.”

I cried for a while, but when I was finally ready to stop, I looked up to see Noah standing next to us.

“I'm sorry, Hope,” he said. “I should have realized how hard this was on you. Would you like to stay awhile and discuss how you're feeling?”

I shook my head and wiped my face. “Thank you, Noah. Maybe later. Papa should be home soon, and I don't want him to know I've been talking to anyone about these plans to protect Kingdom. He wouldn't be pleased.”

“I'm sure he wouldn't,” Noah said, frowning. “But I don't like the idea of hiding something from him.”

“I have no plans to share my concerns with
my
father,”
Lizzie said. “He may have softened some in the past several months, but he still has very strong opinions. I'm certainly not opening that can of worms.”

“Well, maybe it's wise to keep our conversation to ourselves for now,” Noah said, “but I've found that almost every time I have to be secretive about something, it turns out to be a mistake.”

“Not this time,” Lizzie insisted, her dark eyes fastened on her husband. “We can't let another person die. And anyone in this town who doesn't agree is just . . . wrong.”

Noah put his arms around his wife and held her. “I understand how you feel, Lizzie. I really do.” He let her go and smiled. “I think Charity will be home soon. Don't you need to get tonight's specials started?”

“Oh my goodness,” she said, her eyes wide. “It's Friday. I've been so distracted by everything, I almost forgot.”

“Can I help you, Lizzie?”

“Thanks, Hope, but I think everything is under control. Callie's been such a wonderful assistant. With school almost out, soon she'll also be able to help with the cooking. I can hardly wait.”

“And I'm sure you'll be happy to have more time with Charity,” I said.

“Yes . . . well, I guess so.”

Noah shook his head. “Charity's been . . . I don't know . . . going through something. We can't quite figure out what's wrong. She won't talk to us.”

“I've noticed it too,” I said. “I keep hoping she'll open up to me.”

Lizzie smiled. “She loves you so much, Hope. You remind
me of Ruth Fisher. She was my confidante when I was a little girl.”

I laughed. “Well, I love Ruth, but I must admit that I hope I don't look like her.” Ruth was well into her eighties.

“Well, you
have
been looking a little tired lately,” she said, grinning.

“Okay, that's it for me,” Noah said. “You two are getting into a dangerous area that no man can tread safely through.”

We both giggled.

“I've got to run to Washington for a few more supplies,” Noah said to Lizzie. “I won't be gone long.”

An idea suddenly popped into my head. “Noah, could I possibly go with you? I accidentally left something at the fabric shop in Washington, and I'd really like to get it.”

Noah and Lizzie exchanged a quick look.

“If it's any trouble . . .”

“I'm happy to take you,” Noah said slowly, “but you know that under normal circumstances men and women who aren't married are discouraged from being alone together.”

Lizzie snorted. “Another silly rule. You and Hope are like brother and sister.” She smiled at her husband. “I give you permission to take Hope with you. Does that help?”

“I guess it's okay,” he said. “What about your father, Hope?”

I laughed. “Don't worry about him. Papa loves you like a son. Let's throw caution to the wind and not worry about the rules this once. Okay?”

“Maybe you can keep your head down as you leave town,” Lizzie said. “No one will know you're in the truck.”

“If Hope comes with me, we won't hide,” Noah said sharply.

Lizzie nodded at him. “You're right. Sorry.”

I looked over at the clock on a nearby table. “We should be back in plenty of time for dinner, and Lizzie can tell Papa where I am if he comes back before we return.”

“Are you ready to go now?” Noah asked.

“I certainly am.” I was excited about getting the fabric so I could finish Noah and Lizzie's quilt. I dismissed any concerns about what other people would think. Frankly, I was a little tired of worrying about the opinions of others. Trying to live up to everyone else's standards was tiring, to say the least.

“You two get going and be careful,” Lizzie said. “I've got to get to the kitchen right this minute or I'll have some very unhappy customers tonight.” She kissed Noah on the cheek. “I'll see you both when you get back.” She took my hand in hers. “Why don't you and Samuel come to dinner tonight? My treat.”

I shook my head. “Papa said he won't take any more free meals from you. He says if you don't quit giving away free food, you'll go broke.”

She laughed. “Your father shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. It might bite him.”

“He worries about you, Lizzie. You're like his other daughter.”

“I know that, and I love him to pieces for it. But try to get him to come. Friday nights are fun around here.”

I had to chuckle at her comment. Most families spent the weekends at home, so Friday was the last chance for them to eat out and visit with their neighbors. It was so nice to see a business that was once frowned upon turn out to be such a blessing. Even Pastor Mendenhall and his wife liked to come on Friday nights.

“I'll do my best.” I squeezed her hand. “Maybe I'll see you later.”

Noah and I started for the stairs, but before I could get to the door, Lizzie grabbed my arm. “I'm so grateful to God that you're okay,” she said, her breath catching. “I love you, Hope. Promise me you'll stay safe. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you.”

“I love you too, my friend, but you know we're not supposed to make promises.”

“I know. Just tell me you'll be careful.”

“I'll be careful. Feel better?”

“A little.”

I gave her a quick hug before Noah and I headed down the stairs. When we reached the dining room I found Jonathon, Roger, Mary, and Sophie hunched over a table, talking. Noah told me he needed to make a quick run to the bathroom before we left, so I started toward the front door. Before I could get there, Jonathon jumped up and intercepted me.

“I'd really like a few minutes with you, Hope,” he said softly. “We need to talk.”

“I think we do too, but I've got an important errand to run right now. Papa and I are going over to Avery's in the morning for the viewing. Then Papa will bring me back to town. He and some of the other men are going to Noah and Lizzie's house tomorrow after lunch to work, so I'll be alone. Why don't you come by in the afternoon?”

“Okay. I'll see you then.”

I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to kiss me again, but I knew he would never do that in front of anyone else. I said good-bye and hurried out the door. I waited only
a couple of minutes before Noah came out, and we got into his truck. When we reached the main road that led to town, I could see Noah and Lizzie's house. The old Strauss home was only about a quarter of a mile from the intersection of the main road and the road to Kingdom. Even though I came this way once a month, I hadn't really looked closely at it for quite some time. It was really coming along.

“The house looks pretty good,” I said to Noah. “How much longer until you can move in?”

He shrugged. “I'm not sure. We're making progress, but it's a lot of work. Of course, I've got plenty of help. You know how people are in Kingdom. Someone's always stopping by with lumber or paint. Or just wanting to donate their time.”

“You know, your house is actually out on the main road. Do you worry about your safety?”

“Not really. I'm hardly ever there alone. Sometimes when we work late, we'll all just bed down on the floor and spend the night. We're about as safe as anyone can be right now, I guess. My understanding is that actual church buildings are more at risk than regular houses.”

“I hope you're right. It wouldn't be hard for anyone to recognize you're Mennonite by the way you're dressed.”

Noah snorted. “Please don't suggest we remove our hats. After your father's rebuke, I may nail mine permanently onto my head.”

I laughed. “You really took his comments to heart, didn't you?”

He nodded, his smile gone. “I respect Samuel immensely, Hope. He stands by his beliefs without wavering.”

“We all waver sometimes, Noah,” I said softly. “None of us is perfect.”

He was silent until we reached the main road and turned toward town. Then he said, “Are you wavering, Hope?”

I sighed. “I have to admit that I'm dealing with some confusion. It's like there are two voices in my head. One is fully committed to our doctrine of nonviolence under any circumstance. Another asks me what I would do if someone I loved was in trouble. What would I do to protect them?”

“Would you disobey God?”

I turned to stare at him. “Why would God want us to be defenseless? Like lambs led to the slaughter?”

He glanced over at me, his forehead creased in a deep frown. “I don't think He does. I believe our protection comes from our faith in His promises. Do you know Isaiah 54:17?”

“Papa quotes it often. ‘No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.'”

“That's right. But do you believe it?”

“I believe every word of God. My faith in His promises will never waver.”

Noah chuckled. “I didn't ask you about
every
word of God. I asked you about that Scripture. Although God was talking to the children of Israel, He showed His heart toward His people. And we're His people.”

I didn't say anything, but I felt conviction in my heart. My thoughts went back to what Papa had said about Ebbie. He believed we should spend our time in prayer, believing that God was our best defense.

“What I'm trying to say, Hope, is that as Mennonites, perhaps we should lay down the swords of men and pick up the sword of the Spirit.”

I nodded slowly. “I understand, Noah. But if someone stood in front of you, holding a gun and threatening to kill you, would you be able to confront him with Scripture instead of a weapon?”

He grunted. “Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you. Now, whether or not I would remember that when a gun was actually pointed at me . . . Well, that's a whole different story.”

I grinned at him. “Let's pray you never have to find out.”

“That's a prayer I can definitely agree with.”

He was silent for a moment. “Can I ask you something, Hope?”

“Anything.”

“You know I lived outside Kingdom for a while.”