Unbind (57 page)

“How turned on are you?” I asked him panting. “Thinking of me as Marilyn?”

“This much,” he growled, digging his jean-clad groin between my legs. “It’s not Marilyn, either. It’s you… so sexy. I wanna fuck you all the damn time.”

“Get your pants off,” I ordered, wrapping my arms around his head to trap him against my bosom.

“I hate my life,” he groaned with a mouthful of flesh.

He ripped his pants open and I pulled my thong to the side.

WHY SHE WAS adamant about him not showcasing his work, I didn’t know. Anyway the surprising response to our
Frame
shoot—and the number of people who were really touched by it—might have been a deciding factor in what happened next. Cai decided to run with an official exhibition, a debut of his artistic work, not just the prints he sold catering to other people’s tastes.

News of this development wasn’t met with Jennifer’s approval, of course. What did she have to fear, really? All I knew was that she wouldn’t associate the magazine or herself with his personal endeavours—which was damn stupid considering he was an artist who could go from just interesting to absolutely cataclysmic if only with the right exposure. I knew she was possessive of him, protective to an extreme, but couldn’t she see that his expression might be his saviour?

Seeing as though I was familiar with his work, he asked me what theme he could go for, which pieces were his best. They were all good, we both knew that. I just wondered what he could do if he really dug deep and I motioned that he should do some new shots with one message in mind. It had to be shocking and disturbing, and most of all, totally unique. If we were launching this on the New York scene, it could be anything it wanted to be. There were no boundaries and I pep-talked him, trying to drive it home that he could do something fabulous. He just had to believe in the mere quality of his skill. Did he want to be seen as a magazine photographer, or did he want to be seen as an artist? It was his decision. Did he want to be controversial, or did he want to be totally untouchable? Did he want his art to reflect his own life experiences, or did he seek to find beauty in foreign objects like me?

I posed all these questions to him and more and I think he appreciated it more than he could express. Since our photo shoot, our lovemaking had gotten even better. He now not only took what he wanted without shame, but he also told me what he preferred and when. I was getting to like quickies everywhere and we were slowly, very slowly, working up to anal sex. I didn’t feel like I had to tiptoe so much anymore when it came to certain issues and I was becoming more inquisitive, making myself more and more a part of his world. 

I reminded him his gut instinct was a powerful one and he agreed. We’d proven that with Agnes, the affectionate name we’d bestowed on my alter ego in the magazine shots. Agnes the Impossible. Agnes the Valiant, we joked. She could be anybody she wanted to be. I only hoped Cai believed that for himself, maybe he was coming to believe it anyway. I just knew he had a talent and his restlessness—his constant need to travel across America to seek photographic work—was hiding some other impulse he felt was impossible to follow.

It didn’t shock me when I woke up one Saturday morning to discover myself alone in bed. Rolling over, I discovered a note relaying:

Took a job, back tonight.

I love you so much (Agnes)

C ;-) xxxx

I knew he must have left early otherwise I would have heard him leave the apartment. Saturday morning was one of the highlights of my week—after coffee mornings with Carl and Ben, shopping with Tiff, or phone calls screaming down the phone with Kayla over our latest news—Saturday mornings were probably THE highlight of the week, actually. It had become ritual that Cai and I would wake late, drink our coffee, then take the car out of the garage and drive up to Manhattan, pick up takeaway pastries and more coffee, then just sit in Battery Park for a few hours watching the world go by. I liked being exposed to the elements and that place was good for it. He and I would catch up on a bench or on a walk as we ate, recalling all the titbits, the anecdotes—of our busy, busy weeks. It was true—most working days were about waking, rushing down breakfast (if we were lucky) then chasing to work and at the end of the day, falling into bed after making love. Not much time for conversation there.

Anyway, I decided even though Cai wasn’t with me that Saturday morning, I was going to do the same ritual. It just meant a subway ride instead, but at least the weather was improving.

I spent around an hour walking around, trying to avoid looks from single men seeking a ring on my finger, when I decided
what the hell
. I was in New York and there were still so many things I wanted to do in the city. I guess you could say there was a certain novelty to doing something solo, too. Like I was a fully-fledged grown-up not afraid of her own company anymore.

I caught a cab and had it drop me on Broadway. I wandered for a bit, absorbing the packed atmosphere of Times Square and all the avenues criss-crossing the vicinity. It was around lunchtime when I stopped outside an old theatre buried down some backstreet and saw matinee tickets going for $35. I put some money down on the counter and went inside, not knowing anything about the play, the cast, or even the theatre.

Turned out it was a student production of
The Importance of Being Earnest.
The crowd was pretty thin on the ground but it was alright. Enjoyable, I suppose. Passed the time and got me through an afternoon I’d usually spend grocery shopping with Cai. That was a thought—but the internet and online orders were a beautiful thing.

When I emerged from the theatre, I could have sworn I saw Jennifer on the street ahead of me. It looked like she had just come out of there, too. It was her hair I saw but unusually for her, she wore a scruffy long mackintosh over some ordinary turned-up jeans and flat pumps! I tried to keep up but as the crowds became more swollen around the over-populated side of Broadway, she disappeared. I put it down to my imagination and anyway, when the skies opened, my mind quickly turned to finding the nearest open café and situating myself there until I could get back home to my stud.

WHEN Cai returned to the apartment that night, he found me with the laptop open on a takeaway pizza joint. Noticing my feet up, my robe and slippers on, he asked, “You got caught in it, too?”

“Uh-huh. Drowned rat. Even your volcanic shower failed to warm me up properly.”

“God damn, tell me you’re ordering in?” He looked a little the worse for wear, too.

“Yep, just about to press the ‘place my order’ button.”

“Oh, yeah. I need to shovel some tonight.”

“Hungry…” I shut the computer, “…for me or food or just everything?”

He growled as he walked over, bending to kiss my lips quickly. I sensed the dampness from him before I even felt it.

“You smell strange, Cai.”

He pulled off his clothes as he started taking the stairs. “Let me warm my stone-cold balls before we get into where I’ve been, what you’re shoving lovingly in my pie-hole tonight, and yeah, what I’ll be shoving in yours too…”

I laughed like a maniac as I heard the shower flick on and him groan under the hot water. “Fuck, yeah!”

I savoured my wine and stared out of the window, getting lost in my own thoughts. Time escaped me and before long, he was running down the stairs in a warm sweater and jeans. Then the doorbell rang.

“Good timing, I’ll go,” he offered.

He took the pizza boxes from the dude and gave him a tip.

“Shit this smells good! I’m fucking starved!” He flung the boxes open on the coffee table and his eyes grew wide at all the contents. “Wow!”

“I thought you’d be hungry,” I said, tucking into some garlic dough balls. Sod it—give me carbohydrates!

I’d also ordered two large pizzas made with our favourite toppings. One was a veggie special, the other a meat feast with extra jalapenos and lashings of chilli sauce.

“Hmm, this is good.” He gave me a pizza-tasting kiss and murmured, “I missed you, did you have a good day?”

I finished my chewing and nodded. “Yeah, I wandered the park and then took a cab to Broadway and caught a matinee show.”

“What was it? Some cheap student crap?”

I laughed, holding my belly. I had a mouthful of cheese, onions and mushrooms, nearly spluttering. “Oh, so I fell for it, yeah? Hmm. It was
The Importance of Being Earnest
. I thought it should have been called
The Importance of Austere.
Honestly, the set was a shambles and the costumes… never seen anything like it before in my life!”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you found something to do but yeah, you got roped in. The stars to actually come from those kinda things are rare, you know?”

“I see that,” I replied.

Cai
was
hungry, he hadn’t been kidding! He soon polished off half the food and was looking at me as though he was only holding out in case I wanted more.

“Please, fill your boots. I got caught in the storm and sat in a café with a bunch of geriatrics all afternoon. No doubt the matinee brigade. I stuffed myself on blueberry waffles and a chocolate milkshake.”

He started stuffing his mouth again. “Yeah, haven’t eaten all day, skipped breakfast. Just had to do some work… in fact, after our shovelling here’s done… I’m gonna load up what I collected today.”

“Cold pizza is still good,” I remarked, slipping my robe open a little.

I saw that flicker in his eye and his spicy mouth hit mine, then I was lying back with glee as he set me on fire, everywhere.

SUNDAY morning arrived with a groan from me. I’d gone to bed late after drinking several wines and Skyping Kayla, who was having man trouble. Surprise, surprise. It actually kind of made my day that she still turned to me. She screamed when she saw my hair!

I hadn’t heard Cai come to bed so he must have been working late. I rolled over to stroke his face, finding him deep under. Out cold. I kissed the corner of his mouth and he didn’t even flinch. He must have been exhausted, so after I spent half an hour staring at my boyfriend, I wrenched myself out of bed.

Anyway, I took myself off to the kitchen for coffee and some French toast. It felt good to have my own time so I parked myself on my reading couch and got on with a filthy romance novel.

Cai eventually roused around 11 a.m. and joined me, coffee also in hand. “Man… I needed that,” he yawned, running his fingers through his short hair. “I didn’t get to bed until 5.30.”

“You’re crazy,” I remarked, shaking my head, my eyes still trained on my Kindle. I was reading something pretty standard but it was rare I got to read for leisure so I was consumed.

“You’re into a book?”

I snickered. “Hey, my hot man wasn’t alive to tend to my needs. What’s a girl gotta do?”

He rolled on his belly and swigged more caffeine. “You won’t believe what I’ve come up with for the gallery… it’s what took me out yesterday.”

My head shot up, my eyes meeting his in expectation, suddenly the book in my hand non-existent.

“You’ve compiled some possibilities?”

“I’ll really have to show you what I got.”