Unbeloved (16 page)

“
Ugh,” Eva muttered. “I’m not in the mood to be schooling club rats with their eyes on the prize.”

“
But isn’t that your job?” I jested. “God knows you don’t have better things to be doing like being a mother or a wife or . . .”

“
Right?” she said. “Because in my free time I love teaching loose women the ways of the club world, the dos and don’ts when it comes to our men. Rule number one: Don’t flirt in front of the wife. Rule number two: Don’t try to go down on him in front of the wife. Rule number three: Definitely don’t cry in front of the wife when he tells you not to go down on him in front of his wife.”

There was a time in my life when
the bitter truth of Eva’s remarks would have offended me, probably to the point of tears even. But I was anything but offended; after all, crudeness aside, it was the truth and I’d lived that truth.

“
I’ll talk to her,” I said with a sigh. “What’s her name?”

“
Lucy,” Christina offered. “Just like her vag. Which is why Cox is always fuckin’ her up the ass. And speaking of ass, I gotta take a shit.” Using the table for support, she pushed herself up from her chair and tottered for a moment on her heels before regaining her balance.

“
Way too much information, Christina,” I muttered, walking quickly from the kitchen. “Way, way, way too much information.”

I found Cox sitting at the bar among a few of the other boys
: Chips, Worm, and Danny D. And Lucy was right where Christina had said she’d be: hanging off Cox.

As I headed toward them, I noted the similarities between Lucy and
me when I’d first started coming to the club. She was young, early twenties, and shorter than average, as were her looks. If she didn’t have so much makeup on, if her dark hair weren’t cut so dramatically, she would undoubtedly appear plain, cute at best. And she was clinging to a married man she had absolutely no chance at having a substantial relationship with outside of meaningless sex, gazing up at him like he was everything she’d ever wanted, ever dreamed of finding in a man, and could do no wrong.

Cox. Do no wrong. Good
God, what was wrong with this girl?

I
t was all so painfully familiar. The closer I drew to the bar, an odd feeling washed over me, a sense of déjà vu, and then all at once I was struck with a memory . . .

• • •

“Wat up, little D?” Ripper had greeted me with a grin, holding his arm out in welcome.

Although
I had still been feeling the sting of rejection from earlier, the same feeling I was always left with when Jase went home to his wife, I had slipped into Ripper’s embrace and felt my anxiety begin to ebb. The club, the boys, they had that effect on me, giving me a sense of comfort and safety when the rest of my world was nothing but turmoil.

“
Nothing’s up,” I had said, returning his hug. How could I not? He was so incredibly good looking. He was young, with long blond hair that had a touch of waviness, flawless golden skin molded tightly over an incredible bone structure, and an equally stunning body.

“
Where’s my hug, bitch?” Cox called out. Ripper’s partner in both crime and humor gestured for me to come to him. Currently shirtless, his heavily tattooed and pierced body on display, the handsome Latino waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“
No way,” I said, shaking my head. “Last time I hugged you, you grabbed my ass.”

Cox
’s grin grew. “It ain’t really fair that only Jase gets a piece. Gotta sample somehow, yeah?”

I rolled my eyes.
“No.”

Realizing I wasn
’t in the mood to be groped, Cox dropped his arm, and a scowl replaced his smile.

“
Dude,” he grumbled, pounding his fist on the bar. “That’s twice now I’ve been rejected. Pass the fuckin’ Jack.”

“
We’re back to this shit again?” Blue asked. Sitting at his usual corner of the bar, Blue grabbed the bottle of liquor off the counter and tucked it inside his leather cut. Behind his long white beard, Blue’s wrinkled lips curled into a smile, his milky-white eyes sparkling with youthful humor.

Nobody knew Blue
’s true age, but not even the oldest of the brothers had ever known Blue without a full head of long white hair and an equally white beard. But despite his age, he could hold his own and liked to prove as much by drinking far more than anyone, young or old, ever should.

“
Fuckin’ greedy old man,” Cox muttered. “Can’t you see I’m fuckin’ grievin’ over here’?”

Blue lifted a bushy white eyebrow.
“Shut up, you idiot. You ain’t grievin’, you’re fuckin’ poutin’ like a goddamn baby.”

Confused, I glanced between the three men.
“What happened?” I asked.

“
Nothin’!” Ripper said, laughing. “Fuckface here is still pissed Kami walked out on us in the middle of the night.”

Cox snapped into an upright position.
“Fuck her!” he yelled. “FUCK HER!”

I rolled my eyes again. It had been several weeks since
Eva Fox, the twenty-two-year-old daughter of the Silver Demons MC president, had shown up out of nowhere, her friend Kami in tow. Eva, who had a history with Deuce, had headed straight for him, and Kami had ended up spending three days in bed with Cox and Ripper. Then both women had just up and split in the middle of the night. Cox, who’d never been walked out on before in his life since he always did the leaving, wasn’t handling it very well. And judging by the rage fest currently going on inside Deuce’s office with loud cursing and crashes, accompanied by loud female moaning, Deuce wasn’t handling it at all.

Actually, no one had liked what had happened. In the short time she
’d been here, I’d enjoyed Eva’s company immensely. Not once had she treated me like anything less than her equal. Most of the boys’ families, their wives and children, paid very little attention to me, if any at all. In order to keep my relationship with Jase a secret, only known among the boys and the club groupies, I too was labeled a groupie, and was therefore considered persona non grata, not worthy of them. I wasn’t an old lady, therefore, to them I was nothing. Nothing but a whore.

It had been so nice to be able to talk with another woman at the club, one who wasn
’t here for the sole purpose of spreading her legs. Eva was respected for being Preacher’s daughter, and even holding that position she had still treated me with dignity. I could only imagine the differences between the Demons MC and the Horsemen. The club whores in Eva’s care were probably treated better than the old ladies.

But the biggest difference her arrival had brought about had been in Deuce. During those three days, he
’d been a different man. His permanent scowl had lifted, he’d been the bearer of jokes and smiles, he’d been happy. And when Deuce was happy, the club was happy.

Now
that Eva was gone, Deuce was miserable, and so was everyone else.

Except Ripper. As usual, he wasn
’t bothered by any of it, didn’t have a care in the world, and was laughing manically at Cox’s sour expression.

“
She’s a stuck-up, spoiled fuckin’ bitch,” Cox continued. “It’s ’cause I’m Puerto Rican. She’s a fuckin Rican hater. Don’t got no appreciation for dark meat.”

“
Get a fuckin’ grip,” Ripper said. “You sound like a little bitch.”

“
Wait,” Blue said. “You mean to tell me, you’re not Mexican?” The old man shook his head. “And all this time I was over here thinkin’ ya were.”

Cox
’s eyes went wide but just as his mouth opened, one of Deuce’s double office doors swung open, crashing loudly against the wall and cutting off whatever nonsense was going to come out of Cox’s mouth.

The four of us turned, watching as Deuce came storming out into the room, his cut in his hand and his leathers unbuttoned,
hanging open in the front. Miranda, Deuce’s usual girl, came sauntering out next. Taking a seat at the bar, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from inside her low-cut top, placed one between her plump pink lips, and lit it up.

Miranda might be considered beautiful to some, all long legs and a luxurious mane of blonde hair, but I found the woman
more trashy than anything else. Even so, I kept my feelings to myself. I was in no position to express my dislike for Deuce’s taste in extracurricular activities. Not when most people viewed me as an extracurricular activity as well.

“
You assholes plan on doin’ fuckin’ anything today?” Deuce yelled as he stalked past us. “Or you just gonna sit on your fuckin’ asses, drinkin’ my motherfuckin’ booze?”

No one said a word, just watching in silence as he stomped across the room. He had nearly rounded the corner when he stopped suddenly and turned.

“Barbeque tomorrow,” he growled. “You cookin’, D?”

Startled, I could only nod in response. With an answering nod, Deuce disappeared.

“He’s hurtin’.” Blue nodded in the direction Deuce had gone. “Little girl shows up outta nowhere, and the two of ’em already got fuckin’ history. She’s tellin’ him she loves him, givin’ him a taste of what he’s always wanted, and then poof, she’s fuckin’ gone.”

“
What the fuck you talkin’ ’bout?” Cox asked. “You tryin’ to tell me Prez is hard up for Demon pussy?”

“
You’re kidding me, right?” Miranda snorted, shaking her head. Leaning forward across the countertop, her breasts pushed up clear to her chin. “He doesn’t give two shits about that little girl.”

Ignoring her, Blue looked to Cox.
“You a fuckin’ dumbass? Preacher told him if he touches Eva again, he’s takin’ him to ground. So what does he do? He touches her again. And again. I call that hard-fuckin’-up.”

“
Then, fuck her too,” Cox growled.

“
Hello?” Miranda called out, sounding annoyed. “Anybody home? Eva was a dick distraction is all. Nothing more.”

Blue, looking exasperated, turned his attention to Miranda and gave her a toothless condescending smile.
“You mean to tell me that if Eva Fox marched her sweet little ass back inside this club right this second, Deuce wouldn’t drop you like a burnin’ hot potato and take her straight to bed?”

Miranda
’s posture went rigid, her expression hostile, but she said nothing.

Blue shrugged unapologetically.
“Might be an old man, might not know what fuckin’ year it is, but I know real when I see it and Deuce and Eva, that was some real shit. You’re the distraction, girl. Best get your head screwed on straight ’fore you fuckin’ lose what little brains you got left up in there.”

I slapped my hand over my mouth, attempting to stifle my laughter, but I was too late
. Everyone had heard me.

“
What are you laughing at?” Miranda demanded, her nostrils flaring with anger. “You’re no better than I am! You want to talk about what’s real, Dorothy? Jase and Chrissy’s marriage, that’s real!”

My stomach did a nervous flip, bringing all my insecurities boiling back up to the surface
, and my smile slipped from my face, falling away alongside my hand.

I knew I wasn
’t like Miranda, was nothing like her. She didn’t love Deuce; she only loved what she could gain from being with him. I loved Jase, loved him with all my heart. And he’d promised me he would eventually leave his wife.

But
. . . if all that were really true, why did a meaningless insult from a woman like Miranda have the ability to wound me?

With a satisfied smile, Miranda slid off her bar
stool. “It’s about time you learned your place here,” she spat. Spinning on her heel, she marched quickly across the room, disappearing down the same hallway Deuce had.

“
Pay no attention to that one,” Blue called out. “She ain’t ever cared ’bout nothin’ but climbin’ the ranks in the club. You ain’t her, Dorothy, you hear me, girl? You ain’t like her. I know good people when I see ’em, and I ain’t never seen nothin’ but good from you.”

“
Yeah, fuck her, D.” Ripper gave me another friendly squeeze. “She ain’t got a clue what’s she’s spoutin’ off about.”

“
Fuck ’em all,” Cox grumbled. “Especially Kami. Stupid bitch.”

“
Goddamn, dude, you’re actually feelin’ that stuck-up, good-for-nothin’-but-fuckin’ piece of New York ass?”

Cox glared at him.
“You gonna try and tell me you didn’t?”

Ripper shrugged.
“Kami’s a fuckin’ party. Bitch like that ain’t good for much else. ’Sides, she’s too fuckin’ skinny. Gotta have somethin’ to grab, yeah? Fuckin’ anything at all. And that bitch ain’t got nothin’.”

“
Then why the fuck was I sharin’ her with your dumb ass?”

Ripper looked affronted.
“Brother, I don’t pass up hot bitches offerin’ up free parties.”

“
Fuck off and die.”

“
You first, asshat.”

As the two of them
had continued their usual arguing and incessant bickering, a new smile began to form and I’d felt myself relaxing once again. If anyone could make me forget my problems, it was the boys. Especially these two clowns.