Unamused Muse (Mt. Olympus Employment Agency: Muse Book 2) (11 page)

Jilly passed him the rolls before he could ask, never pausing in the story she was telling about a client whose beard caught on fire as punishment for having burned down his neighbor’s barn.

Hal laughed while cutting his steak and offering advice about car insurance.

Carol refilled everyone’s water glasses, an amused smile on her face.

A gentle peace washed over me, and affection for all of these people filled me and warmed my insides. I could take anything the Underworld threw at me if I had these people at my back. Everything was going to be okay.

Carol touched my shoulder. “Are you alright? Can I get you anything?”

I shook my head. “You’ve already given me everything I needed. Thank you.”

Her gentle smile warmed me further. “I’m happy you came. Hal thinks the world of you, and he’s never wrong about people.”

When it was time to go, my heart was heavy, but my load was lighter.

“Call me when you can.” Jilly kissed my cheek. “We’ll hit the clubs again to celebrate when you’re done in the Underworld.”

“It’s a deal.” Going out with Jilly had been terrifying, but probably the most fun I’d ever had. I now believed everyone should have a friend who pushed her out of her comfort zone.

Elmore leaned against the wall, ankles crossed, watching. “I’m going too, right?”

Jilly grabbed him in a goodbye hug. “Of course. We can’t go without you. You know all the shortcuts.”

I hadn’t considered that, but she was probably right. Elmore worked in the Messenger department, delivering the gods only knew what, while wearing magical winged sneakers. He probably knew all the secret places. Placing a guy who didn’t talk much in that department was genius.

“Thanks for coming.” Carol took me aside and wove her fingers through mine. “I know you were instrumental in getting Hal through orientation. I want to thank you. It’s been wonderful having my husband back the way he was years ago. I’m grateful.”

I smiled back. I’d done so much smiling that night, my cheeks were sore. “Thanks for sharing him with us. He’s a good guy.”

She winked. “That he is.”

Elmore and Jilly left together in her car, since Elmore didn’t have his driver's license yet. Hal and I took separate cars so he could go back home after he took me down through the elevator.

Neither of my dorm mates poked their heads out their doors to welcome me back. After all the companionship back home, the Underworld was noticeably lonely. I let myself into my room and set Phyllis on the table under her grow light.

“Two weeks down.” I tested her soil and added a little water from the glass I kept for her.

Phyllis sighed. “Only four more to go.”

I rubbed a smudge of dirt from one of her leaves. “Thanks for staying with me through this. I don’t know if I could hack it alone.”

She reached out a branch to stroke the back of my hand. “You’re doing fine, sweetheart. Your future is going to be fantastic. I promise.”

I dropped my clothes in a pile on the floor, climbed into bed, and shut off the light. “I sure hope you’re right.”

Chapter 11

First thing Monday morning, Parker sent me off with the gate code. “You’ll be okay? Do you need directions?”

“You’re kidding, right?” I gave him a look like he was crazy.

“Kidding.” He grinned. “I’m sending you early because Mandy’s got a dentist appointment. She’ll show you what to do. You’re going to cover the gate while she’s gone.”

“Wait…what?” I took the envelope from him. “I can’t run the gate. I’m not trained for that.”

“She’s going to train you. Don’t worry.” He patted my shoulder. “Take your time coming back. Get some lunch. I’ll see you this afternoon.” He sat behind his desk and waved goodbye with a cheery smile.

On my way to the ferry, I patted my pocket where I’d hidden my bottle of ill-gotten magic bubbles, now with a heart-shaped wand bobbing around inside. This could be my chance to practice. As far as I’d seen at the guardhouse, nobody was ever around other than Mandy and the incoming souls.

And the dogs, of course. I couldn’t possibly forget about the dogs.

I parked the cart and plugged it in at the ferry dock, then waited for the boat to arrive. When it zipped in, someone I’d never seen before was driving. Unlike Hal, who wore khakis and a collared shirt, this man was in the traditional ferryman garb of a dark, hooded robe. I couldn’t see his eyes.

A load of newly dead folks climbed out of the boat and followed a tour guide across the road. As they walked away, they faded and disappeared.

When the boat was empty except for the driver, I climbed in. “Hey.” I stuck my hand out. “I’m Wynter. Where’s Hal?”

The stranger glanced at my hand, then at my face. His eyes shown red from beneath the hood. “He’s working in the office today. ID?” The voice was gravelly and ominous.

I let him scan my badge and settled onto a bench. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, feeling like little pinpricks. Having this guy at my back was not comfortable.

The entire trip across, I white knuckled the side of the boat. The ferryman drove fast, swerving sharply whenever I relaxed, as if intentionally trying to unseat me.

He pulled up to the dock in front of the waiting line of newcomers and killed the engine. “Peter.”

“What?” My hands were stiff from holding on so tight.

“My name is Peter.” The gravelly quality wasn’t as harsh.

“Oh. Well, it’s nice to meet you, Peter. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

He nodded, and a little bit of fleshy cheek flashed from under the hood. It was a relief to know he wasn’t a skeleton, at least.

I disembarked and made a concerted effort not to run to the guardhouse, feeling Peter the creepy ferryman’s eyes following my every step.

Mandy threw the door open. “Yay! I’m glad you’re here. Come in. Come in.”

I ducked inside the small building, relieved when she shut the door. “That is one creepy dude.”

“Who? Peter?”

I nodded. “I don’t know why I thought Hal was the only ferryman. Or that they were all normal-looking guys.”

She laughed. “Peter’s chubby and wears glasses. He’s as normal-looking as you and me. He just likes to dress up and scare people.”

I scowled. “Awesome.”

She took the envelope from me and tore it open. “We all do weird stuff around here to keep it interesting.”

I thought about the magical inspiration bubbles hidden in my pocket. “I guess we do.”

Once Mandy changed the gate code for the week, she showed me how to do her job—or rather, the part that I needed to do for the next couple of hours.

“Really, you only need to babysit for me. Use the clicker to count heads as they come in.” She pointed through the window that faced the gate. “See how the new people have a sort of shimmery, translucent look to them?”

I squinted. “I never noticed that before.”

“It’s not obvious unless you’re looking for it. Then you can’t un-see it.”

“Why are they like that?”

“They haven’t been issued Underworld bodies yet. That’s their first stop after they check in. Right now, they’re only souls.”

That explained how the people getting off the boat had disappeared. I peered out the window. “So, what am I watching for?”

“You’re looking for anybody who doesn’t shimmer and looks solid, like we are.”

“People sneaking in? Who would do that?”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t happen as much these days, since people are more inclined to think of their loved ones as having gone to Heaven or Hell. But now and then, you get someone who knows how things really work—mostly people like us who work in one of the mythos worlds. People like that sometimes try to break in through the gates and retrieve someone they’ve lost. It’s sad. But it’s my job to make sure they don’t get far.” She paused. “Plus, you know, sometimes a soul tries to turn around and go back. That’s not good either.”

“So, what do I do if either of those things happen?” I was horrified. I wasn’t trained to tackle souls and force them into their afterlife. What had Parker gotten me into?

“Simple. You just call the dogs. They’ll take care of it. In fact, let’s get you reacquainted.”

I followed her outside, dragging my feet. “You’re going to make me walk them again, aren’t you?” I knelt and let all six heads sniff and lick my hands.

“That’s the best way to do it, and they won’t have another chance to go until I get back.” She grinned and handed me the leashes. “Hurry back. My appointment’s at 10:30, and I have to take the ferry, so I’d like to catch Peter on his next trip around.”

I clipped the leashes to the collars of each dog and let them lead the way. Big mistake. Kevin went one way, and Bosco went the other.

“Hey!” My arms were pulled in different directions, stretching like a giant piece of bubblegum.

I yanked both chains and the dogs stopped. Two of Bosco’s heads whined, and all three lowered their noses toward the ground as he turned and trotted back. Kevin stood his ground, heads held high.

Apparently, Kevin was the boss.

Bosco behaved after that and let Kevin lead. I held tight to the leather loops on the leashes and followed behind. They led me along the river, around a dead tree, and over two dried-up shrubs. They paid no regard to the human trying to keep up.

Eventually, they both did their business, but they refused to turn around and return to the gate.

I tugged. I yanked. I gave sharp commands. I pleaded. “Please? Come on, guys, my arms are tired.”

Kevin sat on his haunches and regarded me with three sets of baleful eyes. Bosco dropped to the ground and stuck his legs in the air, asking for a belly rub.

“We have to get back. Really. Mandy’s got a dentist appointment.” I plopped to the ground and scratched heads with one hand and a belly with the other. “Please?”

Kevin’s left head sneezed in response.

I shifted, and something in my pocket got in my way. Bubbles. I pulled them out and looked around. We were in the middle of nowhere. The newly departed, the gate, and the dock were far off in the distance. No one was around.

I unscrewed the lid, took out the pink wand, and blew through the heart-shaped hole.

A string of tiny bubbles drifted toward the six faces of the dogs. Would it work on two at once? Did the bubbles even affect animals? Could they work at all when I wasn’t equipped with my fancy Muse-issued belt of invisibility and standard-issue golden wand?

I dipped my cheap wand in the liquid and blew again, watching the weird light of the Underworld cast the translucent bubbles in a golden glow. “Don’t you guys want to go back, now? Mandy wants to say goodbye. You’re the best guard dogs in all the universe. You should get back to work.”

A bubble popped on one of Bosco’s noses, and he snorted. Kevin’s middle head yawned.

I really sucked at this.

I tried again, this time blowing slower to create larger bubbles. I put all my concentration into them, willing the dogs to be on their way.

“Come on,” I whispered. “You want to get going now.”

Kevin stretched and took a step forward. Bosco rolled over and followed.

And just like that, we were headed back. The first time they stopped to sniff a suspicious patch of ground, I took advantage of the pause to twist the lid closed on my bubbles and drop them in my pocket. The dogs tugged me all the way to the gate.

“There you are. I was beginning to worry they’d hauled you into the Styx.” Mandy glanced at her watch and hurried over to unhook the dogs. “Boys, time to go back to work.” She gave them each a pat on the rump, and they took off for their posts.

Once the dogs were settled, she went over everything with me again in the guardhouse, then left me as the roar of the swamp ferry announced Peter’s arrival.

At first, I was nervous. She’d barely taught me anything, and here I was guarding the gates to the Underworld. All by myself. What if something happened? Sure, the dogs would stop them, but then what? Call security? I
was
security.

I needn’t have worried.

People wandered up to the gate, saw the queue, and took their places at the back. The boat came in, people climbed on, the line moved up. Each time someone came through the gate, I noted it with the little clicker she’d left me.

That was it.

An hour in, I sat with my chin resting on my hand, looking through the window as a tall, thin woman in hospital gown stepped through. She looked sad.

In fact, they all looked sad. I glanced at the rest of the line to verify this. They all looked so worried, as if they were about to be sent to the fiery pits of Hell.

I wasn’t supposed to leave the guardhouse unless there was an emergency. This didn’t qualify, exactly, but I still felt like I needed to go out there and see some of these people up close.

I waited until Peter departed with his latest load, then stepped out of the building. The queue was under control today, so ended long before it reached the gate. I approached the new woman and reached out to her, but drew my hand back as I realized she didn’t have a body yet. Or anymore. She was
in between
bodies.

“Are you okay?” I made my voice soft and as reassuring as I could make it so I didn’t startle her.

Her eyes widened. “Where am I? This is Hell, isn’t it?”

I shook my head. “Not Hell. It’s the Under…it’s the afterlife. It’s nice here. You’ll like it.”

She looked away. “You would probably say that if it were Hell, just to fool me.”

The line moved up a little and she walked on. All up and down the string of people, I heard their murmuring.

“I tried to be a good person.”

“Where’s my wife? I don’t want to be in Hell without my wife.”

“It’s because I stole that stapler from work. I shouldn’t have done that.”

They were all convinced they were about to be tossed into a fiery furnace. More than one thought they deserved it, usually for some minor offense.

I checked over my shoulder for newcomers approaching the gate. The road was clear. That put me at the back, behind everyone else. No one cared what I was doing. They were too busy worrying about demons and being tortured for lying to their mothers when they were fourteen.

I unscrewed my bubbles and blew. And dipped and blew. Then blew again. I blew so many bubbles, my head felt fuzzy and black spots dotted my vision.

While I blew, I murmured comforting words and sent warm thoughts at them.

I returned to the guardhouse and watched through the window. There was no breeze, so the bubbles took a while to pop. I couldn’t get them to blow very far up the line, but maybe the back third of the people there were touched by my bubbles.

One by one, their faces changed. The hard lines of worry softened, and a few slow smiles appeared. I’d had an effect on them.

Then something stunning happened. The people at the back moved forward and reassured the worried people in the middle. Then the folks in the middle did the same for the front.

It spread like a warm hug. I sat on my stool watching as slumped shoulders pulled back, chins lifted, and worry lines melted away. In a matter of minutes, the entire queue looked, if not happy, at least unconcerned.

A man in a blue hat and a raincoat slogged through the gate and took his place at the back. The tall woman turned and spoke to him, and he smiled. When the line shifted a little, he took a confident step, rather than dragging his feet as he had coming in.

I clicked my counter. A few minutes later, three teenagers came through. The man in the hat turned to them, spoke, and they brightened.

I clicked my counter three more times for the teenagers and let out a satisfied sigh.

My bubbles worked fine down here. In fact, they seemed to work even better than they had in the human world.

~*~

When I got back to the office, Parker waved me away. “You’re done. Go home.”

Had someone seen me with the bubbles and reported me?

“Did I…did I do something wrong?” My stomach felt like I’d swallowed a toad.

His eyebrows knitted in a quizzical look. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong. Why would you say that?” He paused and frowned. “Are you okay? You look pale.”