Unable to Resist (18 page)

He was right. It was...unforgettable, indescribable.

“I’m going to love you forever, Ann Daniels. This is just our beginning,” Kyle told me, as I lay sprawled across his chest in the early morning sunlight that filtered through the hotel window.

“I love you, Kyle.”

Kissing my head and squeezing me tight he muttered, “I love you too.”

Holding tightly to the sweater, tears stream down my face as I remember that night. I wish I could talk to him.

Digging further into the drawer, I find Kyle’s workout shirt, and bring it to my nose. Seven years later and I can still smell his cologne. The musky, woodsy smell always brought me to my knees. It’s a scent I’ll never forget.

“What are you doing, gorgeous?” Jason asks tenderly as he leans against the doorframe.

I hastily wipe the moisture away from my face and turn to face him. He sees straight through the fake smile I give him and rushes to me. He engulfs me in his arms and I sob into his chest.

“I miss him so much, Jase. When is the hurt going to stop?” I cry, openly, heavily, for the first time in years.

“I don’t know if the hurt will ever go away, Ann. Maybe one day the ache in your chest will be less prominent and you can finally find a way to love.”

I pull back and wipe my nose. “I hope that’s true. I’m tired of being depressed.”

“It’s been seven years, Ann. It might be time to move on. You’re still carrying all of this around.” He motions toward the drawer. “Plus, you have your dad’s situation to deal with. I don’t know how much one person can take.”

He’s right. Of course. I know that, but I still have a hard time letting Kyle go. I don’t know if I ever will. How do you just forget your first love? Does anyone really do that? I have no reason to let his memory fade; everything good that happened in my life was because of him. He’ll always be a part of me. Any man who I decide to be with will have to accept that.

“Just because you move on doesn’t mean it’ll taint his memory, Ann,” Jason says, reading my thoughts. “You have to know that.”

“I know,” I lie. I don’t want to disappoint him. I just don’t know many men who would be okay with my past.

Kissing me on the top of my head, Jason gives me one last hug and heads toward the door. “Get some sleep. Tomorrow is a new day. There are endless possibilities.”

I give him a weak smile and finish unpacking, not bothering to stroll down memory lane anymore.

The early morning brings a headache from all the crying, and a stiff neck from the awkward position I slept in all night. Craning my neck back and forth, I work the kinks out the best I can and jump in the shower.

I dreamt of Dad again last night. This time wasn’t any different. He told me about the questions, and that I’ll find the answers there. Blah, blah, blah, whatever that means. I’m still just as confused.

It’s the first dream I’ve had in a couple days, and I’m a little irritated. I was hoping they were done. Looks like I was wrong.

Once I’m dressed and as ready as I can be for what the day has in store for me, I walk downstairs to the smell of coffee and cinnamon.

“Morning, sunshine,” Jason singsongs from behind the oven. “I made you your favorite. french toast.”

With spatula in hand and apron on, he looks like Suzie Homemaker. Err, Steven Homemaker? I don’t know. He looks very domestic.

Shuffling my yellow flats across the floor to his side, I spring on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Thank you. It smells amazing.”

He turns his head and winks. “Sit down and I’ll serve you. Orange juice? I know you hate coffee unless it’s full of creamer, and you don’t need any more sugar. You don’t want to know the amount I put in this breakfast.”

I smile and sit down at the island. “Juice sounds good.”

Setting a plate full of buttery, french toast in front of me, Jason retrieves the OJ from the fridge and sits down next to me.

“I’m going to propose something,” Jason states with a serious expression.

“Are you going to ask me to marry you, Mosley?” I joke. “You already know my answer.”

Jason throws his head back, laughing, the sound resonating off of the walls. “No, I’ll save that for another day. What I was going to propose is that we don’t spend so much time apart anymore.”

I give him a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

He takes a drink of his coffee and sets the cup down. “I mean, maybe I should move to Nashville.”

I drop my fork and it clangs on my plate. “Are you serious? Why?”

Calmly, he brings his coffee cup back up to his mouth and he smiles, but it seems a little sad—like I’ve disappointed him.

Shit, good job Ann.

“I’ll take that as a no, then?” He questions.

I attempt to recover my abrupt reaction. “No, no, of course I would love it, but I don’t understand. Why would you move?”

“For you,” he says without hesitation.

My mind races—I don’t want him to up and move his life for me. “Jason, I love you. You know that, but I would never ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask. I want to go. Arizona isn’t the same anymore. Mom and Dad are in California, and you’re gone. I have no one here.”

I grab his hand and intertwine our fingers. “I’d love for you to come to Nashville, but what happened to Wicked?”

Jason’s face lights up with a magnificent smile. “I got the role. They just called this morning. The show is five weeks long.” He stops and looks around the massive kitchen. “I want to move as soon as it’s done. This house doesn’t feel like a home when no one I love is here to share it.”

Now, that is something I can understand. I lived in a huge house most of my life, and it always felt empty.

“So, you’re really going to move to Nashville?”

Jason beams. “If you’ll have me.”

I bound from my seat and hurl myself into his arms. “I can’t wait.”

As we finish our breakfast, chatting about Nashville and all of the reasons why I think he’ll love it, my phone buzzes.

Duane’s raspy voice greets me. “Morning, Red. What are you up to today?”

I smile at my nickname.

“Jason and I just finished breakfast, and now we’re cleaning up. I don’t think we have anything going on.”

He sighs and the sound of him shuffling around fills my ears.

“I just got a call from Brent,” he says a bit cautiously, “and he wants to meet.”

My heart stutters in my chest, and I shoot Jason a look. “Okay, when?”

“As soon as possible.”

“I’m ready now.”

“Okay, I need to go pick up my rental from the airport. Let’s say, an hour?” He suggests as he turns on a faucet.

“That sounds good, need directions?”

More shuffling.

“Nah, Jason told me where it is, I think I can find my way. I’ll see you soon.”

I smile. “Be safe.”

He sighs and I imagine him smiling.

“Always.”

I end the call and clutch the phone to my heart.

“So, I’m guessing that was Duane from the goofy look on your face?” Jason makes fun as he sits down on the leather sectional that takes up most of the living room.

I nod my head and sit next to him. “Yeah, Brent wants to meet.”

“You want me to come with you?”

“No, I’ll be okay,” I say, shaking my head, “it’s just Brent.”

Jason gives me a wicked grin. “I know you’ll be okay with Brent. I’m talking about Duane.”

My head whips in his direction and I crinkle my eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. I see the way you look at each other. There’s something there.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” I protest, although, I want to believe it.

“Please, just keep your heart open. He could be the one to mend those broken pieces.”

There it is again. Hope. Making me question everything. But, I feel it too. With his knowing smile and kind eyes Duane unintentionally and little-by-little stitches my broken soul back together.

“I don’t know if I can take the risk. He might just break me.”

It’s the truth. I’ve never once looked at another man in this way since Kyle.

“I know, but I think if you give him the chance, he could surprise you.” He pauses to take a look at my tense, knotted hands. “I’m just asking you to be open to the fact that he could change things for the better.”

God, I hope he’s right.

“Okay. I’ll try.”

Jason pats my thigh. “Good. Now, let’s melt our brains with bad reality TV till he gets here.”

I quirk an eyebrow in disgust. “Reality shows, Jase? How are you able to sleep at night?”

“I didn’t say I like it, alright? It’s a distraction. Plus, it’s a good idea to take notes on the catfight you’re going to get into one day over Duane. Lord knows it’s going to happen.”

I pfft. “I have no right to fight over him.”

Jason turns his legs toward me. “Yes, you do. You may not know it yet, but that man is yours.”

I want that to be true, but I’m too chicken-shit to let myself believe it.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should tell him that.”

“Trust me, he knows.” Jason turns back toward the TV, ending our conversation.

Exactly an hour later, the doorbell rings, and I jump to answer the door.

“A little excited are we?” Jason says behind me.

I turn and give him my best death glare. “Shut up, you.”

He chuckles to himself as I answer the door.

Duane looks like a lawyer today. Dark wash blue jeans, met at the bottom with black loafers, a crisp, white button up shirt layered with a dark blue sweater over the top, and finishing off the look, he has a black skinny tie around his neck. Jesus, he looks gorgeous. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows and I can’t seem to look away from his tan, muscular arms. He pushes the fabric up farther and I bring my eyes to meet his.

“Hi, Red,” Duane greets as he pulls me into his arms.

It takes me a second to realize what he’s doing. It’s unexpected. Yet, without hesitancy, I wrap my arms around his strong, solid shoulders and squeeze as tight as I possibly can. He brings his face to my neck and embraces me, just as snug. I bury my face in his chest and breathe in his scent. He still smells like home, and every time I breathe him in, he smells more like home than the time before.

This feeling is different than it was with Kyle. That’s not to lessen what I had with Kyle because, God, I can still see his smile. I can still hear his laugh. It’s just, with Duane, it feels different—and so good.

Maybe it’s because I’m older, or maybe it’s because Kyle taught me who I want, but Duane makes me feel things I never thought I’d feel after Kyle.

“Hi.” I smile and pull back.

Duane let’s me go, taking a forced step back.

He ducks his head and grins coyly. “I’m going to say something as your friend, okay? I’m not your lawyer right now.”

I grin and nod.

“You look fantastic. Absolutely stunning, Darlin’.”

His eyes say so much more. They drink me in, as if cataloging my every feature. He scans me, mesmerized.

I look down at my white sundress and yellow flats. I’ve accented the simple outfit with a belt wrapped around my waist and curls in my hair. I’d hardly say I look stunning.

“This old thing?” I joke as I slightly lift the hem of my dress.

“Yes, that old thing.”

I curtsey and thank him. “You want to get going?” I prompt.

He looks into the house. “Sure, can I go say hey to Jason before we go?”

I look back at Jason pretending to watch TV. I’m sure he has his bionic ears on listening to us. I wave Duane in and we head to the living room.

Jason turns to greet us, as if he just realized Duane has arrived.

“Hey, Duane. How’s it going?” Jason says, offering Duane his hand.

Duane takes his hand, and Jason pulls him in for one of those one-armed man hugs.

“Good, man. You coming with us?” Duane asks when pulling away.