Ultimate Baseball Road Trip (125 page)

Josh:
What is the significance of the numbers 1, 71, 11, and 9?

Kevin:
You know I’m not good with numbers.

Josh:
They belong to today’s umpires. Look, they’re listed on the scoreboard all game.

One number not listed that should be is the number 16. This is the number of Dodgers rookies who’ve earned the Rookie of the Year honor. From 1992 to 1996 the Dodgers boasted a streak of five players in a row to win the award: Eric Karros, Mike Piazza, Raul Mondesi, Hideo Nomo, and Todd Hollandsworth. But the Dodgers also had another string of four ROYs in a row from 1979 to 1982. They were Rick Sutcliffe, Steve Howe, Valenzuela, and Steve Sax, in that order.

The food at Dodger Stadium used to be like the food at a movie theater: expensive and worse than a Keanu Reeves movie (
The Matrix
and
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
excluded). But it looks like the Dodger brass got the memo and read our first edition, because the eats at the Stadium (at least on the Field Level) have improved. With the remodel, new vendors have been added to some of the old favorites. Eating options more closely reflect nearby Chinatown and Mexican East L.A.—or at least as much as the corporate ethnic variety that Panda Express, California Pizza Kitchen, and Comacho’s Cantina can offer. And while none of the new offerings are truly delectable, the entirety of the fare is better.

Josh:
Is that what you call a backhanded compliment?

Kevin:
I don’t know. Try my backhand.

Josh:
Ouch!

If you have the scratch to afford first level seats, head to Canter’s Deli and pick up the one truly delectable thing at Dodger Stadium—the Fairfax. Corned beef and pastrami are piled high on rye, the meat is nicely grilled and goes down well with a beer. If you don’t have a Field Level ticket, getting to the ballpark early to view batting practice while you take a Fairfax to the house is a nice way to get warmed up for the game.

We know what you’re thinking: Chalky tortilla chips topped with sludgy orange cheese goo does not a tasty meal make. And you’re right. But the nachos at Comacho’s Cantina are a diamond in the rough at Dodger Stadium. They start with real restaurant chips—fresh and lightly oiled. Then they add to the cheesey goo, real pico de gallo, sour cream, and a guacamole-like substance. They top the whole mess with chicken or carne asada, and the result is a delicious, if sloppy, ballpark snack.

Kevin:
There’s no way you would order them without the jalapeños, is there?

Josh:
There’s no way you would order them without a beer, is there?

We actually received a lot of mail regarding our review of The Dodger Dog in the first edition of this book, and most of it was not kind. One reader actually suggested that he would find us at a ballpark one day and force-feed us Dodger Dogs until we conceded that they were pretty darned good. Another said plainly that if we didn’t agree with him that Dodgers Dogs ruled the baseball world, then we were both idiots and nothing else we had to say in the book was worth his reading. Angelenos seem to want to will the Dodger Dog to greatness. But the reality remains, if you’re not getting it grilled, it’s actually a very bland dog. The Farmer John–brand dog itself is longer than the bun (which is good) but is also on the thin and skimpy side. We like to call it the “Not too this, not too that” dog. Not too spicy, not too bland, not too salty, not too bursting with flavor. It’s the most average dog we have ever tasted, designed seemingly to offend no one. We therefore rate it mediocre once again.

There was a controversy a few years back when Dodger fans—who rarely get worked up over anything—protested that their Dodger Dogs were no longer being grilled. The protests won out, and now all Dodger Dog stands advertise that the dogs are grilled. But beware. Most of the stands read “Dodger Dogs—Grilled.” These were grilled at some point earlier in the day, then pre-wrapped. Look for the stands that read “Grilled Dodger Dogs” and get one hot off the griddle for the best results.

Gordon Biersch’s
Garlic Fries
are a San Francisco thing and expensive, but they remain one of the most edible things at Dodger Stadium. Krispy Kreme is a chain, but the
doughnuts
are always good, and aren’t any worse inside the ballpark than they are outside. The
picante dog
is a spiced up version of the bland Dodger Dog, and much tastier.
Chips and salsa
are difficult to screw up, so we can recommend that with confidence.

The Cheese Pizza at the
California Pizza Kitchen
might be the blandest we’ve ever encountered. Tasted like glue on cardboard.

We know it sounds like it might be good, but the
Louisiana hot sausage
tasted like a Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage.

Our
Wetzel’s Pretzel
was old and stale, or new and fresh but just not very good. We couldn’t be sure which, and certainly didn’t want to try another one.

The Beers of the World stand offers beers from across Europe at steeply inflated prices. Gordon Biersch is the California regional microbrew that is worth the money.

Dodger Stadium has one of the best scenic environments of any ballpark in the Majors. The view of the game and of the mountain background is unrivaled. Weather is so rarely an issue at Dodger Stadium, the threat of rain is almost a joke. The ballpark is clean and well maintained. The Dodgers have done a great job keeping advertisements from being too obtrusive, and they’ve essentially maintained the feel of the ballpark from the era in which it opened.

The ushers and food servers at Dodger Stadium are polite and very well dressed. But there are more do’s and don’ts at Dodger Stadium than at any other ballpark in the country. These polite ushers will ask you to leave the area behind the last row of seats within seconds if you so much as slow down there to look at your ticket. It’s as if they’d prefer you stand in the middle of the concourse and block traffic there. The mission of these friendly fascists seems to be whisking folks like sheep from their seats to the concession lines or bathrooms, and then corralling them back again to their seats as quickly as possible before they start to cause trouble. Josh half expected an usher to visit his seat and re-fold his napkin for him when he got up to use the bathroom, like at a fancy restaurant. Why would the Dodgers have such inane policies while, at the same time, they neglect the real security issues in some of the seating sections? They’re not fan friendly, and they’re an anomaly throughout all of baseball.

Now this feature is a bit more like it. Nancy Bea Hefley is the Dodgers’ organist and she fills the stadium with the classic sounds that your grandparents remember hearing in their childhood. It’s a classy thing for the organization and a feature you just don’t find at many ballparks anymore. Newer parks seem to prefer hearing the opening riff to “Paranoid” by Black Sabbath four times a night, as players get their own theme music when they approach the plate. We prefer Nancy’s happy fingers.

The Dodgers have teamed up with Hollywood to provide trivia questions that come off feeling like commercials for summer blockbusters. It’s cheesy, but it’s very L.A.

When the Dodgers win, the meager sound system plays “I Love L.A.” by Randy Newman.

Mike Brito can always be found behind home plate clocking pitches and people speeding by on the 101 freeway as well. If Mike could only find a Dodger pitcher doing 101.

Ultra-accurate peanut vendor Roger Owens has been patrolling Dodger Stadium for more than fifty years, selling his nuts and giving away the entertainment for free.

Josh:
Is he any match for the peanut guy in Seattle?

Kevin:
No.

There are two former players who later went into acting and earned stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Johnny Beradino hit .249 in eleven seasons with the Pirates, Indians, and Browns before turning his career aspirations toward Hollywood. His most memorable role was a thirty-three-year stint as Dr. Steve Hardy on
General Hospital.
Of course, when Johnny went Hollywood he changed his name slightly to John Beradino. Another former Major Leaguer on the Walk is Chuck Connors, star of TV’s
The Rifleman.
He batted .238 in sixty-seven games, one for his hometown Brooklyn Dodgers
in 1949, and sixty-six for the Cubs in 1951. Did the Rifleman have a rifle of an arm? We’re guessing no, since he saw the majority of his action at first base. Of course, former Angels owner Gene Autry can also be found on the Walk of Fame. We’re not sure if it’s some kind of blasphemy to include “The Singing Cowboy” here, but we’re sure fans of the crosstown rivals will love that we did. Autry owned the Angels for thirty-seven years. Vin Scully also has his own star, as does Danny Kaye, a former owner of the Seattle Mariners.

Though born in Cairo, Georgia, in 1919, most of Jackie Robinson’s young life was lived in and around Los Angeles. The baseball field on the UCLA campus was renamed for Robinson on February 7, 1981, three years before his induction into the UCLA sports hall of fame. Both are worthy of a visit. His boyhood home is located at 121 Pepper St. in Pasadena, California. Look for the marker placed in the sidewalk as a dedication. Unfortunately, you’re on the wrong coast to visit Robinson’s grave, which is at the Cypress Hills cemetery in Brooklyn, New York.