Tycoon's One-Night Revenge (14 page)

She nodded, then had to swallow a choking knot of emotion before she could speak. “For a very short time. Yes.”

“I didn’t use protection?”

“We used condoms, but the last time…there was a possibility.”

He studied her for a long second before swinging away. In stunned silence he stared out into the darkness, his profile harsh and forbidding. Susannah could only imagine what he must be feeling. Shock, disbelief, the impotence of realising what might have been.

“Did I know? Did I promise to call you?”

“Yes.”

“Except I didn’t and I couldn’t take your calls.” Finally he turned, and the impact of his next words struck as cold and hard as hailstones. “And Carlisle arrived at the perfect time with the perfect arrangement, for you and my baby.”

“No!” Susannah shook her head vehemently. “I’d been trying to contact you, trying to work out what to do if you didn’t want to know, and then I miscarried and I realised just how much I’d wanted that baby. That’s when Alex asked. That’s why I was so open to his suggestion.”

“To his suggestion that you conceive another baby? Tell me, is that like hopping back on a bike after you’ve fallen off? Better done straight away before you forget how?”

“No,” she choked out, appalled by that callous analogy. “I wouldn’t marry him straight away. I asked for more time. I didn’t sleep with him.”

“You wanted a wedding ring on your finger this time?”

“I wanted time to reconsider, to think everything through when I wasn’t feeling so hollow and hopeless. I wanted to be sure my reasoning was valid and not just an emotional backlash to my loss. I needed to be sure.”

“Sure of what?” For the first time his icy control cracked, revealing the fierce churn of anger in his eyes. “That you wanted a baby? It didn’t matter if it was his or mine, if your relationship was based on love or greed or a wad of contract pages. You wanted for
you.
You didn’t give a flying thought about the baby or how he’d come to view his parents’ relationship.”

“That’s not true. We had solid reasons—”

“So solid you ran away from your wedding day. So solid you spent your honeymoon in my bed.”

Reeling from the sustained force of his words, Susannah struggled to hold her head high. To keep the gathering tears at bay. “You know why I came to Tasmania.”

“Because I threatened your sham of a wedding…or because you wanted a ready excuse not to see it through?”

“Because you called, because I heard your voice on the phone, because I couldn’t help myself,” she countered, her voice resonant with the force of her denial. “Damn you, Donovan, I didn’t just fall into your bed. You were there. You know that.”

“Why did you sleep with me?”

“For the same reason I came here today, the same reason I didn’t take the hint on the porch when you tried to freeze me out. The same reason I’m standing here arguing the point about something you’re not willing to hear. Because I love you.”

“You love me?” He expelled a gust of pure cynicism. “Yet you won’t have a bar of a contract that ties you to me?”

“I don’t want to be tied to you by business,” she stormed back. “With Alex it didn’t matter, with you everything has mattered. Everything is amplified. The brief elation when I thought I was having your baby. Not being able to contact you and realising you’d used me that weekend, that you weren’t going to be quite so overjoyed by my news. I had the perfect marriage—the perfect future—planned until you came back.”

Resistance screamed from every taut line of his body, and she wondered if anything she’d said had infiltrated that shuttered barrier. Anything that had, he didn’t believe…or he didn’t want to believe. To Susannah, suddenly it didn’t matter which.

She’d tried to explain why she’d found Alex’s offer of marriage so hard to refuse. If he didn’t accept any of that, how could she convince him of something as inexplicable as her love?

“I know this wasn’t the best time to bare my soul,” she told him. “That’s not why I came here. This wasn’t supposed to be about me or my feelings, but now you know everything and I’m not sorry it’s been said.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Maybe I knew it would lead to this.”

For a moment the antagonism of
this
arced between them, and it was too much. Before he could say any more, she shook her head in warning. “I think we’ve both said enough for now. I’ll call a cab.”

“You drop that series of bombshells and that’s it?”

“Until we’ve both cooled down and reflected, yes.”

“You need to think some more? To change your mind again? To decide whether this really is true love?”

Susannah had no answer to the cruel slice of those questions. She’d had enough. She couldn’t stand here while he ripped apart her avowal of love, while he mocked the heartfelt decisions she’d made these past months. She was walking away while she still had some dignity. Before the tears commenced.

With trembling fingers she pulled her phone from her bag. She’d saved the number, if only she could stop her hands shaking enough to punch the right keys…

“There’s no need to call a cab. Where are you staying?”

“The Carlisle.”

His mouth tightened into a grim line. “I’ll drive you.”

She wanted to tell him where to put that offer—but she refused to gift him the pleasure of another argument. Ever since she arrived, he’d been pushing for a confrontation. Perhaps, like a wounded animal, he’d needed to latch out at the pain caused by Mac’s loss. Naively, she’d obliged, thinking she could absorb some of that hurt with her love. Now she’d had enough.

In the car, she closed her eyes and shut him out—gathering the silence around her like a cloak as his powerful car sliced through the wet night. At the hotel, he came around to open her door, and she was forced to meet his eyes for the first time since he’d ushered her from his home…and to face the fact that this might be goodbye.

In that moment all her bravado turned to water. She couldn’t look him in the eye and brazen it out. Nor could she turn and walk away with nothing.

It was easier—so much easier—to lean into his body and kiss his cheek. She felt his stillness, the tension in his jaw and the whisker-rough texture of his skin beneath her lips. Her fingers curled briefly around his lapel, a last touch, a last deep breath of his scent. “Take care,” she said quickly. There was no point in saying keep in touch or call me. She’d done that twice, to no avail. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

And as she went to pull away, his hand came up and grabbed her arm. Their eyes met for a quicksilver moment. “I’m sorry for yours, Susannah. I wish you hadn’t had to go through that on your own.”

The rush of tears at the back of her eyes was instant, overwhelming, but if she let one free she feared they would never stop. With a brief nod of acknowledgment, she pulled free and somehow managed to walk away with her head held high.

Van figured the call had to be from Horton’s about The Palisades.
She
had to be Miriam Horton. And his assistant made a valid point—he was in the perfect mood for this call. “Put it through,” he said shortly, his gaze still fixed on the opening charts for today’s trading.

“Hello, Donovan? It’s Susannah.”

Van jerked upright in his chair, his jaw flexed and tight at the unexpected greeting. All the air left his lungs as if he’d been punched. He’d not expected to hear from her, not after the finality of their parting. So many times he’d thought about calling, but what the hell would he say? He didn’t know how to make things right. If he couldn’t give her
everything
she wanted, what could he offer?

“Donovan? Are you there?”

With a rough note of disgust, he picked up the receiver. Since the memory of her voice was constantly in his head, he might as well enjoy the real thing in his ear. “Susannah, yeah, I’m here.” He checked his watch and felt a jab of alarm. “It’s the middle of the night in Melbourne. Is everything all right?”

“I’m…not home.”

Van sat up straighter. It had been almost two weeks but…“Are you still here, in San Francisco?”

“No,” she said quickly. Too quickly. “I’m in the mountains. Since I’d arranged time away from the office, I thought I might as well take a holiday.”

What the hell was he supposed to say to that?
Hope you’re having a nice time on what was supposed to be your honeymoon. Wish I was there.
“To do some thinking?” he bit out.

There was a beat of silence, long enough for him to call himself an ass for pressing that hot button. “Yes, as a matter of fact. Walking up here is very good for clearing the mind and thinking.”

“On the island you told me you weren’t a fan of exercise.”

“I’m not but I do need to work on my core strength,” she said with an irony that suggested she was talking about more than physical strength. “But I didn’t call to talk about me.”

“No?”

“I spoke to my mother about the contract for The Palisades. I wanted you to know that Judd will be calling about new terms, in line with your original bid.”

“Can’t find another buyer?” he asked.

“I don’t believe that will be a problem, but you deserve first offer.”

“I told you I was no longer interested.”

“And I hope you’ve reconsidered.” She drew an audible breath, the gesture so familiar he could picture the exact look on her face. The way her chin came up a fraction. The cool green flash of her eyes. “I don’t think you’re foolish enough to allow your opinion of me to influence your decision, but be assured I have no personal agenda.”

“You just wanted to be sure I didn’t sign the old version?”

“Exactly.”

“What about your business?” he found himself asking. “Do you still need equity capital?”

“I’ve just come to terms with my mother. She now owns a managing share in At Your Service.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Why should you be?” she replied tersely. “She has some excellent ideas for diversifying and making the business more profitable.”

Van wanted to ask about
her
vision, about the pride she’d taken in her own direction without her parents’ controlling hand, but he bit down on the urge. Satisfied another urge by asking, “And what about the other clause in the old contract?”

“I’m sorry?”

“What if I want you as my wife?”

One swift inhalation in his ear. One second of pure what-the-hell-are-you-asking fear, before his heartbeat settled into a slow and certain rhythm.

“You don’t,” she rasped out.

“I asked for the same terms as Carlisle.”

“Because you wanted to expedite matters. You never wanted anything but that contract.”

“No, Susannah, I wanted you.” With the phone clutched to his ear, he shoved to his feet and paced to the window. A magnificent view of city and bay stretched before him, unseen, unacknowledged. All he could see was her face, her smile, her wild hair and sea-green eyes. “You said you love me.”

“I do,” she said sadly, “but that’s not enough.”

“Because I can’t give you that perfect future you had all mapped out?”

“I thought you could, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe I deserve better.” Her voice lifted on that last statement and he pictured her chin rising with it. “Goodbye, Donovan, and good luck with Judd. I hope that works out for you. Charlotte Island was meant to be yours.”

There was nothing he could do to stop her disconnecting, but the conversation played through his mind, the words exactly as they’d sounded in his ear. The honey-dipped tone of her voice. The distinctive down-under accent. The snotty edge when she told him that maybe she deserved better.

For several seconds, he entertained the notion that she did deserve better. She’d walked away from a marriage she believed could give her everything. She’d flown halfway around the world to offer her support. She’d told him she loved him and he’d fobbed that off, too intent on licking his wounds and protecting himself from another round of love and loss to accept the honesty of that gift.

He couldn’t blame her for thinking she deserved better. He wouldn’t blame her if she refused to listen to what he had to say. But he would say it—everything that needed to be said, everything that he’d gotten so wrong the first time.

Then she could decide what
he
deserved.

Dodging the wildly undulating bag, she pulled off her gloves and reached for her towel and water. A quick cooldown on the treadmill and then she would treat her well-used muscles to a long, soothing bath. The prospect almost brought a smile to her mouth as she turned toward the door.

And then she saw him. Leaning against the wall just inside the door of the Tahoe resort’s fitness center. Dark suit, white shirt, silver-grey eyes riveting her to the spot as he straightened.

Everything inside her went still as he closed the space between them with slow, sure footsteps. As he approached, she could feel him taking in the yoga pants and crop top, which made her look the part, and the new haircut. The shortened curls were still unruly, despite the sweatband that was supposed to keep them secured.

“Hello, Susannah.” He stopped in front of her, close enough that she could see the softening mix of amusement and appreciation in his eyes. “I like the new look. It suits you.”

“I think so.” Their gazes met and held in a moment’s assessment, but that was all Susannah allowed herself. He’d tracked her down less than a day after that phone conversation, but she hardened her heart against its foolish leap of hope. “You’re a long way from home,” she said coolly.

“I have unfinished business.”

“How did you know where to find me?” A frown creased her brow as she considered the possibilities. “My mother is the only person—” Seeing the answer in his eyes, she stopped. “
Miriam
told you where I was staying?”

He shrugged, that familiar lift of one shoulder that was both eloquent and efficient. And ridiculously attractive. “That was the easy part. Finding you here—” he tilted his head to indicate the gym “—was more difficult.”

“It’s raining too hard to go walking, and I needed to expend some energy. This punching bag seemed an ideal way to work off some aggravation.”

“Did you picture my face on the bag?” he asked. The tiniest hint of a smile lurked in his eyes, and Susannah gritted her teeth. It was bad enough that he’d snuck up on her, that he’d watched her for Lord knows how long, without the amusement. To think that her mother had given up her location, that she hadn’t called to deliver fair warning….

“I should have included my mother in the target range,” she said darkly. “You must have made a mighty fine offer on The Palisades to win her over.”

The smile disappeared and his expression tightened, but not only with the impact of the cynical shot. The determined set of his jawline caused her heart rate to jump about like the assaulted punching bag. “This has nothing to do with business,” he said, low and even. “Your mother knows that. She’s a romantic at heart.”

“My mother? No. She was married to a man who cheated and lied to her for thirty years, but she never let on that she knew. She was afraid of the consequences. She liked being married to Edward Horton. She liked the position and the prestige, she put up with the negatives. My mother is a pragmatist, you see. I doubt she was ever a romantic.”

“She wants you to be happy.”

“And so she sent you?”

“She says you love me.”

“And you believe her?” For a long moment their eyes met and held, and for the first time, she saw the tension, the flicker of vulnerability, behind the set facade. Her pulse started to race, set alight with a new flare of hope. “Why would you take her word, Donovan, when you wouldn’t believe me?”

“I was afraid to believe.”

“Afraid of letting someone else close?” she guessed.

“There was that,” he admitted. “And I was afraid that I could never give you anything close to the everything you talked about having with Carlisle.” Serious eyes settled and steadied on hers. “After talking to you yesterday, I realised the truth. I knew the night I dropped you at your hotel. I watched you walk away and—”

His voice broke off as if he couldn’t find the necessary words to describe how he’d felt, but words were unnecessary. Susannah saw all she needed in his face, in his eyes, in the fact that, finally, he was revealing himself to her.

“I didn’t want you to leave,” he continued, “but I didn’t know what to say to make you stay.”

“It would have taken only a few words.”

“You say that as if it’s easy.” One corner of his mouth lifted ruefully, but his eyes remained intensely serious. “I’ve never said those words.”

“Not even to Mac?”

Anguish flitted across his face and her heart rolled over. “I can’t lose you, too.”

Heart brimming with desperate optimism, she watched him take her hand in his, and for the first time, she saw a muscle jump in his jaw. He was nervous. Afraid. Patently terrified. A part of her ached to ease his misery, while another cautioned her to hold back and wait for everything she’d yearned to hear from this man’s beautiful mouth.

“Someone suggested recently that you deserve better than me. Same person also said Charlotte Island was meant to be mine. I happen to believe that you’re meant to be mine, as well.” His eyes on hers quickened with a sincerity that stole her breath. “I’m not Carlisle—I don’t have the ready-made family. I don’t even have a home, but that’s what I want with you. I don’t care where we live. I can work from anywhere. I’m adaptable.”

“You’re independent,” she cautioned. “You told me the weekend we met that you don’t need a home.”

“Back then I probably believed it, but that was before Mac revealed herself, before I was forced to slow down and take stock of what mattered. Before you made me reconsider the meaning of
everything.
” His clasp on her fingers tightened. The expression in his eyes held her transfixed, wanting, hoping, wishing. “When I came back to Stranger’s Bay, my only thought was finding a way to get The Palisades. Then I met you. I wanted you. I made excuses. I told myself it was only about ending the wedding so I could get the contract. But I couldn’t stand the thought of you with another man.”

Susannah’s heart dipped. “You couldn’t stand losing out.”

“You stood up for yourself, for your principles, and that only made me love you more.”

“Wanting me isn’t love, Donovan.”

“I love you,” he said again, this time slowly and clearly, with conviction strong in his eyes. “You told me on the phone yesterday that you need to improve your core strength, but your strength is one of the things I love in you.”

She started to shake her head, but he stayed her with a look.

“You’re strong when it matters. You left your father’s business when you no longer respected him. You didn’t take the easy path, accepting his money. You walked away from a perfect marriage arrangement because you love me.”

Reading the question in his eyes, she touched a hand to his face. “I do, but—”

“No buts,” he said softly. “You deserve a man who loves you with everything he is, who wants to make a home and a family with you.” And there, with the soldierly rows of treadmills and StairMasters and weight stations for witnesses, he went down on one knee. “I love you, Susannah, and I’m asking you to be my wife.”

“Are there any clauses attached?” she asked solemnly, despite the wild racing of her heart.

“There is one about wearing my ring.” Like a conjurer, he dipped into his pocket and produced a perfect white solitaire. “On your finger, a sign of commitment.”

He slid the ring onto her finger, and she lifted a tremulous hand so the diamond caught the light and dazzled through her sudden tears. “It’s perfect.”

“It’s forever,” he said.

“Yes,” she managed around the tearful jubilation that threatened to overwhelm her. “I know that.”

“Is that a yes, you will marry me? Yes, you will be my wife?”

“Yes. Yes. I love you, Donovan. I have always loved you.”

Finally, as those words took hold, the tension around his eyes eased into a smile. “I love you, too, Susannah. That’s the answer, isn’t it?”

“To every question.”

Slowly he came to his feet and engulfed her in an embrace for a long moment before lifting her into his arms. “Where are you taking me?” she asked on a shriek when he swung her around in a wide arc. The smile on his face and in her heart turned her giddier still.

“To your room.”

“To pack?” she asked, and her arms were around his neck, her face nuzzled close to his.

“Eventually.”

“Hmm,” she mused. “Are you thinking of an exercise I might enjoy more than the gym?”

He laughed, a wicked, smoky chuckle mirrored in his eyes as they looked down into hers. “I’m thinking that now I have you right where I want you. And I am never letting you go.”