Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult
“I don't eat humans. Too dangerous. They send dragon killers after rogue dragons, armed with devastating spells. I stick to crows and rats, mostly, and the occasional troll.”
“I can see how that would get dull. But to let me—have my way with you, when in real life you could chomp me, I'm so puny compared to you.”
“You're so smart compared to me. Haven't you noticed how I'm always agreeing with you? That's because I'm not awfully good at thinking for myself.”
“I thought it was because we shared experiences.”
“The only experience we share is here in the Dream.”
“Bleep!” he swore. “This can never be. But I still—” He broke off, appalled by the realization, then plowed on. “I still love you.”
“You don't have to say that.” Marsha said. “Just don't hate me. I'll do anything you want.” Her bare Avatar spread her arms appealingly.
“You really do love me? Despite my not being a dragon? I should think you'd prefer to make it with another dragon.”
“Do you know how dragons do it? It's more like rape. Scorching, steamy, smoky scenes are literal. It can take weeks to recover. You are so tenderly gentle.”
“But isn't it your nature to scorch and chomp? Feeble kissing must disgust you.”
“It is supposed to be my nature.” she agreed. “I always felt guilty for wanting something else. I couldn't get it with my own kind. So I joined the communal Dream and took a human Avatar. I know there are other animals doing the same. Then when I saw you appear, and knew you didn't know your way about yet, I—I hoped you wouldn't mind, once you really got to know me.”
“I don't. I'm glad to know you. You're a better woman than any other I've known.”
She blushed. “You don't have to say that.”
“I said it because I mean it. You're ideal for me.”
She kissed him repeatedly. “Thank you, thank you!”
“And you really do love me, at least in the Dream?”
"I do. John. You have treated me so well. I know you would have preferred a human.
“I'm not sure I would,” he said slowly. “No woman ever treated me the way you do. They found me too plain and dull.”
“You were never that to me!”
It seemed to be true. What reason would she have to deceive him? “May I kiss you, knowing what you are?”
“Oh, yes, John!”
He kissed her, and her lips were just as sweet as they had been. He wrapped his arms about her, and her body was just as nice. Soon they were back in stork territory. Did dragons signal storks, or eat them?
“What about an accommodation spell?” he asked as they rested.
She understood exactly what he meant. “It would make it possible to do this physically. But you would still be a man, and I'd still be a dragon. It would be unnatural. I much prefer just being with you in the Dream, in a form that pleases you.”
“Could we get a transformation spell? So you could become a real woman, or I a dragon?”
“It wouldn't work, John,” she said regretfully. “I know nothing about real human society, and you'd never make it as a dragon. I'd be chomping things and you'd soon get toasted. We are what we are, regardless of our forms.”
He had to concede the point. “Then can we make a life together here in the Dream?”
“But we're both asleep!”
“Our bodies are, but our minds are awake. Marsha, let's get married—in the Dream. Let's have a family here.”
“But what of our real lives?”
“They will proceed as before. It can be our secret, that our real lives are in the Dream.”
They hashed it over, and finally she agreed. They went to the Dream authorities, and set it up, and in due course had a Dream marriage attended by other Dreamers, who understood. They signaled a Dream Stork, and—
Then he was back in his real life. The night had ended, and with it the Dream. He was Cyrus again, not John.
“I just had the wildest dream,” Cyrus exclaimed as he carefully let go of Rhythm so as not to seem to be clasping a child. “I think it will make a perfect play for the Lady.”
“Oh, tell me!” the dragon exclaimed, delighted.
He described the dream in detail as they ate hot cross buns and hot nog for breakfast. They had gotten accustomed to the heat of the cave.
“So they decided to have a family in the Dream,” he concluded. “He'll still be a man, and she'll still be a dragon, but in the dream they can live together and have dream children and all. It's a happy compromise.”
“It's a derivative of your own situation,” Melete said severely.
The Lady's ears perked. “Is someone else here?”
“Better let her in,” Rhythm murmured to the Muse.
“Let me introduce myself,” Melete said, extending her perceptibility. “I am the Writer's Block you returned to Cyrus. I enable him to write his plays.”
“Oh,” the Lady said. “I had no idea you could talk.”
“I normally talk only to him. But you need to hear this too. It's not really a story about you; it's about his forbidden love. He can't let others know he loves a child, so he has sublimated it in the dream, which he now proposes to render into a play. Instead of a child, the lady is a dragon. It's an attempt to justify his illicit passion.”
“But she has a spell to make her older,” the Lady said. “So it's all right.”
“But he knows she's really a child. That's what makes it not all right.”
“Oh, come off it, Muse,” Kadence said. “They're in love. Who cares how old anyone is?”
“The Adult Conspiracy cares.”
“But technically there's no Violation.” the Lady said, “Just as there's no man/dragon problem in the play. It's all in the Dream. Forbidden love is forbidden love, and it's great drama. I don't care if there's a parallel. I think it's a great play and I love it.”
“So do I,” Kadence said.
“Just make sure you get a cute actress to play my Avatar in the Dream, and a handsome actor to love her.”
“But I thought you were going to act in it,” Kadence said.
“I'll be there, curling around the stage. I'll speak my part, once the audience learns that I'm Marsha. That way I'll be a dragon playing the part of a girl. It's wonderful.”
Melete sighed. “Have it your way. But I'll expect something more original for the third play. I have to protect my reputation, after all.”
They made an arrangement with the Lady to meet her at the Troupe, and resumed their trek. Now that they did not need to search for Melete, they were free to take whatever paths were most convenient.
They came to a clearing wherein a number of people sat. A man stepped forward to meet them. “Hello, I am a Talent Scout. Do you need a new talent?”
Cyrus was tempted to brush on by, but paused. “I'm not sure I have an old talent, other than merely existing. I'm a cyborg. Half human, half machine.”
“Everybody has a talent,” the man said. “I can readily check yours. Give me your hand.”
Bemused, Cyrus extended his hand. The scout took it and concentrated, “There it is. You can change one thing in any person's memory. It has to be a small thing, though, because big things have too many extensions and affect other things.”
“Just like that, you know?” Cyrus asked, not believing it.
“It's my talent to know,” the Scout said. “You can readily verify it. Change someone's memory.”
Cyrus shook his head. “I doubt I can, but in any event, I wouldn't.”
“If you have no use for it. I will gladly arrange a trade. That's why I set up my Talent Agency.” He gestured around the clearing. “How about the talent of controlling a wisp of fog? That can be fun, especially if you make it dance. Or if it happens to be a forget whorl.”
“I don't think—”
“How about the talent of conjuring assorted cloths?” the scout asked, refusing to be put off. “Your little girl would like that, wouldn't she? Or to make any cloth as hard as steel. That would protect her.”
“I don't need those,” Kadence said.
“Or of doing something perfectly on the first try.” the Scout said. “Though I have to tell you, thereafter it is apt to mess up. That's why the owner wants to trade it.”
“I don't need that either,” Kadence said.
She finally got the man's attention. “Why not? Let me check your talent. It is surely worth trading,” He put his hand on her arm. “Oh, my! You're a Sorceress!”
Cyrus acted before he thought about it, changing the man's memory of what he had discovered to a lesser thing, “You make ants march in step,” the Scout said, not realizing, “That's interesting, though not really useful. You will surely want to trade. How about the ability to invoke the talent of dead people?”
“We'll trade,” one of two young men said from the bench. “I'm In Crease; I make others gain weight, size, or whatever. This is my twin brother De Crease; he makes them lose it.”
“But those are good talents,” Kadence protested. “Why would you want to trade them?”
“Because we can affect only others, not ourselves,” De Crease said. “We remain ordinary. That frustrates us no end. But maybe we could have some fun with ants.”
Kadence considered. “I think I'd stay dull too, so I guess I don't want to trade.” She was of course being careful not to give away her real reason.
“How about my talent?” a man asked. “I'm Pete. My talent is unbreaking. I don't mean mending or healing; I mean that I make it so it was never broken.”
“Say,” Kadence said. “I could use that when I accidentally drop a precious vase.”
“You could,” Pete agreed.
“You'd do better just learning to be more careful,” Cyrus told her.
Kadence sighed. “I guess so.”
“Then how about us?” a boy asked. “I am Melvin. I can read the minds of women. My sister Megan can read the minds of men.”
“But those are great talents,” Kadence said. “Why trade?”
“Because all the men are interested in only one thing,” Megan said. “I get so tired of it.”
“One thing?” Kadence asked, intrigued. “What is that?”
“My sister is six years old,” Rhythm said firmly.
Megan nodded faintly, revising her answer. “Panties.”
“Panties?” Kadence asked. “They're dull!”
“Precisely,” Megan agreed with an obscure smile.
“Actually that's not true,” Melvin said, “We are also interested in—”
Megan stepped on his toe. “Blouses,” she said.
“Uh, yes,” he agreed, wincing. “While all women are interested in is—”
Now Rhythm interceded. She made the people lose interest in them. They walked on by, and they paid no attention.
“Beep,” Kadence muttered.
Only when they were well clear did Melete speak. “The talent Scout meant well, and has a business many folk will patronize, but he was dangerous for us.”
“Yes, because our talents give away our identities,” Rhythm said. “That's why I kept my mouth mostly shut.”
“But he did me a favor,” Cyrus said. “He identified my talent, when I didn't even know I had one. I can change one thing in a person's memory. I used it on him.”
“Good thing you did,” Rhythm said. “I was about to blank out his memory of the whole day. Your way was better.”
“Still, being able to play with wisps of fog might be nice,” Kadence said.
Rhythm glared at her, but the girl burst out giggling. She had been joking. Maybe.
“But you know, that was a danger,” Cyrus said. “Even though the Scout meant well. Just as the Dragon Lady meant well, but that could have been dangerous if she had been a normal dragon.”
“Something is still putting threats in our way,” Rhythm agreed. “But they aren't really effective threats. That's odd.”
“As if someone wants us to get into mischief seemingly by accident.” Cyrus said. “An attack by a ravening monster would make it too obvious.”
“Too obvious,” she agreed, nodding. “But whatever is doing it is not obvious either. I can't get a fix on it; there seems to be nothing there. Maybe I should get my sisters' help.”
But Cyrus was wary of that. Melody and Harmony were too much like Rhythm, and entirely too interested in his and Rhythm's romantic life. “I have another idea: this is almost like a curse. Curtis Curse Friend is part of a culture that works constantly with curses. We should hurry back and ask him.”
“But I would have to use heavy magic,” Rhythm said.
“It was just an idea,” he said. “I'm glad to be with you anywhere.”
She smiled. “Let's proceed carefully. If we don't encounter any more dangers, okay. But if we do, then I'll think again.”
“It's fun being out here, as a family,” Kadence said.
“Yes it is,” Rhythm said, hugging her, then hugging Cyrus. “I can love both of you openly, without anyone challenging my age or identity.”
And that was the great thing about this excursion. Cyrus realized. Just being together, openly loving each other, without having to hide it.
Exactly, Rhythm agreed mentally.
They came to a river that barred their way. “Make a boat?” Cyrus asked. “I don't think it would be safe to swing across.”
“There might be loan sharks or allegations.” Rhythm agreed. “Things with teeth.”
“Look!” Kadence exclaimed. “Water moccasins!”
Cyrus looked, alarmed, but it was only a patch of shoe-sized flowers, including dainty lady slippers and yes, snakelike water moccasins.
Kadence picked a pair and put them on her feet. She stepped on the water. The moccasins enabled her to walk on the water.
“I think we have our way to cross without swimming,” Cyrus said.
They all donned water moccasins and started across the river. But then a dragon came charging toward them. It was translucent and ripply.
Rhythm raised one hand. The dragon paid no heed.
“Heed the warning, for your own sake, dragon,” Cyrus murmured. But the dragon didn't.
A beam of color flashed from Rhythm's hand. It struck the dragon. The dragon's snoot flashed into steam, and the rest of it splashed into the water.
“It was a water dragon!” Cyrus exclaimed. “Made of water.”
“It could still have chomped us with icicle teeth,” Rhythm said grimly. “That does it. There's too much danger here. I'm using magic to take us back to camp.”
“Make it safely beyond camp,” Melete said. “So they won't know.”
Rhythm nodded. “Take my hand,” she said.
Cyrus and Kadence took her hands. Then they were standing in the glade with the love spring, where Rhythm had first seduced him. “Oh, my,” he said, remembering.
Rhythm caught his thought. “Muse, take Kadence for a walk on the water.” she said. “It's safe. Don't look back.”
They were all still wearing the water moccasins. Kadence took Melete from his pocket and walked out on the pond, not looking back. Rhythm led him by the hand to the spot.
“You mean—” he asked, violently hoping.
The spell was already there, and she was biting into it. The vapor puffed and she was grown and beautiful. “What else?”
When he was able to speak again, after an especially intense ellipsis, he felt some faint regret, “You know we really shouldn't be doing this. I know your real age.”
“Do you have a choice?”
“No.” It was true. She was a Sorceress, and increasingly he was coming to appreciate the depth and breadth of that. She could do things he had never thought of, and he was powerless to resist anything she really wanted. She was a child, but he was nevertheless her captive.
“It's true,” she said, “You were mine from the moment I realized I wanted you. The stork was right to haul me up on charges, not you; I always controlled the situation.”
“You always did,” he agreed, “When I called you a child—that wasn't what made you mad, was it?”
“I knew you would say that, giving me a pretext to react, I had already brought you here, after all.”
“You already had,” he agreed. “Oh, Rhythm, I don't know how I'm ever going to wait until you are truly of age. I love you.”
“You're not mad that I made you love me?”
“With that first adult kiss? No. I think I was already on the way to it. I was trying to fight it, but there was just something about you.”
“With a spell on your mind.”
He stared at her “Rhythm! You didn't!”
She looked guilty. “I did. It's like the losing-interest magic I use on folk who might get too curious about my identity, only this is positive. Intensifying interest.”
“That's why I thought you were a winsome girl, and felt guilty!”
“You tried so hard to be honorable. I love that.”
“But you really are a child! I love you, but you are. You should not have done that.”
“I can reverse it, if you wish.”
He pondered that. A spell to make him no longer love her? “Objectively. I see that that would make sense. But subjectively I can't stand the thought. And what about Kadence?”
“No reversal,” she agreed. “Suppose I have my sisters get together and fashion a spell that would age me permanently? Then I would never be a child.”
“But I love you as you are, even though it's forbidden. And what about the mission to save Xanth? Your age would give away your nature, and that would mess up the mission.”
She sighed. “You're hard to satisfy. I love that too.”
“We'll just have to muddle through, as we have been doing, guilt and all.”
“Before the hour ends,” she said, and kissed him. That made him realize that she had always controlled every part of their relationship. And he loved it.
At least she always invoked the Decade spell before clasping him. Or did she? She had an illusion spell too. He had a sudden horrible thought. “Rhythm—did you ever use illusion instead of aging?”
“No. Not for this.”
That was a vast relief.
“But I tried. The Adult Conspiracy wouldn't let me.”
“You tried?” he asked, horrified. “Tried to seduce me when you remained a child?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“So I would remember the details. Cyrus, I love you, but as a child I can't remember most of what we do when I'm adult. Only that it involves holding and kissing, and I can do that anyway. And that Panties relate, though I have no idea how; they don't seem to exist in my memory.” She smiled grimly, “As an adult I know why they're absent, but that gets lost when I revert. It drives me crazy not knowing. I can't stand losing any part of you, even part of a memory. If I did it as a child, I would remember. Then I would know.”