Two Sides to Every Story (Love Spectrum Romance) (11 page)

Chapter 13

Rafe walked into his parents’ home and pasted a smile on his face. He wasn’t ready to share his feelings with anyone. He kissed his mother’s cheek and handed her the box of pastries he’d thought to pick up from the bakery.

“What’s this?” his mother asked.

“Angela can’t make it. She’s sorry, but it couldn’t be helped, she’s ill. She sent dessert.”

“When did she get sick?”

Rafe turned away. “I think it started last night. She was hoping she would feel better. She was looking forward to coming but I didn’t think she should. I wanted her to rest,” he lied.

He walked toward the back of the house, his mother’s voice ringing in his ears. She was insulted, as he’d known she would be.
As she should be
, he thought defensively.

The smile dropped from his lips and he rubbed his face with his hand, closing his eyes and sighing. When he opened his eyes his father was standing in front of him.

“She didn’t want to come, did she?”

Rafe shook his head, shrugging his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell your mother. Maybe it’s better that she didn’t come tonight. You know it shocked everyone that you’d be involved with the woman who was trying so hard to get you fired. Your mother already hates her. Did you tell her that we knew she was the one who’d filed all those complaints?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“She would never have agreed to come.”

“What difference would it have made? She didn’t come anyway.”

“It had nothing to do with you, any of you,” he assured him. “It was me. I went over in my uniform and she didn’t like it.”

His father was observing him with a slight frown on his face. “Why not? Most women get turned on by a man in a uniform. At least Latino women do. Ask your mother,” he said.

“She hates cops. I wasn’t thinking about that when I went over. I just wanted to see her and I didn’t want to wait.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“You know, Son, if she doesn’t like cops and it’s been your dream since you were a little boy to be on the police force, maybe you’re making a mistake. Maybe she’s not the one for you. I know what Nellie told you. I know she’s your
madrina
but sometimes your
titi
Nellie talks too much.” He smiled. “Don’t listen to Nellie, I don’t. Maybe you should just find a beautiful Puerto Rican girl.”

“You got something against her being Black, Pops?”

“Nope.”

“Then why did you say that?”

“I’m thinking about all the differences between you. Look at your two sisters. Their husbands have them celebrating Kwanza.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that. They still celebrate Christmas.”

“They both left the church.”

“They didn’t leave God.”

“They may as well have. I don’t think your mother can take much more of the family being split in so many directions.”

“Is that what you’re worried about, that I’m going to leave the church, change my religion?” Raphael laughed. “Pop, do you have any idea how long it’s been since I was even inside a church?”

“It’s more than that but even if it wasn’t, cultural and religious differences are big. Maybe not so much now while you’re hot for her body but later it will be. The thing that worries me the most is that she hates what you do for a living. Put that with the fact that you’re lying to her and I don’t see a future with this girl.”

Rafe had told his father almost everything. He knew his father wouldn’t tell anyone else, including his mother. He’d needed someone to talk to and for most of his life his father had always been that person.

“I never said I was thinking of a future with her.”

“You didn’t have to. You also didn’t tell me that she hated cops. I thought she just didn’t like you because you gave her that ticket, and then the two of you started fighting. This is serious, Raphael. Look at you. You’re all tied up in knots over this girl. And I’ll bet she didn’t buy those pastries. You did.”

Rafe was stunned. “How did you know that?”

“The box. It’s the bakery right down the street.”

I should have thought of that
, he silently reprimanded himself. “She did buy a tray of cookies. I just refused to bring them, so I got these.”

“Yeah, I know, because you didn’t want your family to hate her.”

Rafe stared at his father. “Why do you think I would do that to keep you from hating her?”

“Because you love her.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“It’s that obvious. I also can see that you’re heading for a lot more pain. It’s not over. What do you think is going to happen when she finds out that you were involved in that gang mess that sent her brother to jail? Blood is thicker than water and it’s thicker than love.”

“If it was Mama would you tell her the truth?”

“I’d like to think that I would have told your mama the truth, and let her make her own decision. If she loved me, she loved me.” He shrugged his shoulders. “If she didn’t, you wouldn’t have been born.” He smiled. “Thank God I never had to make that choice.”

“I can’t tell her, not yet.”

“You know what you’re doing is wrong.”

“I know.”

“You know it’s going to come back to bite you in the ass. She’s going to find out.”

“I know,
Poppi
, and eventually I’ll tell her, just not yet. I haven’t even told her yet that I love her, not really. I call her
mi angel
, or
mi amor
.”

“If she has eyes she knows that you love her, you don’t have to say the words. But make no mistake, Son, women want to hear that you love them. I’m sure your angel is not any different.”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t even like it when I call her
mi amor
. You should have seen the way she looked at me tonight. It was like it was the very first time, like nothing had happened between us to change anything.”

“You still want to continue with this? What are you planning on doing, quitting the force?”

“Never. As for what I’m going to do, I have no idea what I plan on doing. Right now I’m so angry with her that I’m wondering how I can be talking so calmly with you about this.”

His father laughed. “That’s when you’re good and hooked, Son, when women have you doing things you don’t want to do, things that you know will kill you in the end. And all we do is say give me more.”

They laughed together and went to the dining room to eat.

Rafe stayed at his parents’ house until after ten, pretending to be interested in the conversation of his family, the squabbles between his sisters and brother. He tried hard not to watch the clock. But his father caught his eye once when he was taking a peek at his watch and grinned. He said goodnight at last, ignoring his mother’s offer for him to sleep over.

“Goodnight,
Poppi.
” he said to his father as he began to walk down the stairs.

“Rafe, if you’re heading to see her you’d better go home and change.”

Rafe looked down at his uniform. He’d almost forgotten. “Thanks,” he said and walked to his car. He should just ignore his father’s warning and march back to Angela’s and demand that she talk with him. But facing the iced topaz of her gaze was not what he wanted to do tonight. He’d let her get to him, and just as he’d always known, falling for a woman was going to be disastrous. He was sure as hell going to have to reclaim his stones.

* * *

“Angela, we need to talk,” he said through the closed door, wondering if she was going to keep him outside and wondering what he would do if she did.

The door opened and she stood there, one hand on the frame, one on the door, still keeping him out. “I don’t want to fight with you, Rafe,” she said quietly.

“I don’t want to fight with you either,” he answered, realizing that he meant it. “Can I come in?” he asked.

“I don’t think you should. It’s not going to solve anything and we’re only going to make it harder in the end.”

“I’m willing to take my chances.”

Angela opened the door wider. “How did it go?”

“Not so good.”

“Are you still angry?”

“Yes.”

“And you came anyway?”

“Yes.”

She licked her lips. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry for what had happened, that she would never let it happen again, but she couldn’t be sure.

“Rafe, we’re not a good match.” she said instead. “We should call a halt to this before it’s too late.”

“It’s already too late.” he answered and lifted her in his arms.

“How long do you think this will solve things?”

“I thought you didn’t want to fight,” he answered her. “I know that I don’t. I want to make love to you,” he whispered into her ear. “I want to take you to bed.”

“But eventually we’ll have to leave the bed.” Angela laid her head against his chest.

“We don’t have to worry about that tonight. Maybe you were right. Maybe we moved a little too fast. I’m sorry if I pushed you,” Raphael said into the soft flesh of her neck.

And she was sorry that she’d pushed him into saying that, into apologizing when he had no reason to. Rafe wasn’t the sort of man who would easily kowtow to a woman’s whims or demands forever. She was aware of that. But now, now what they had was new and fragile and he wanted it to work. A single sob tore loose from her throat. “Rafe.”

“Hush, baby,” he said walking into the bedroom and laying her on the bed.

“Tu eres tan hermoas. No quero luchar con contigo, solamente tequero hacer amor contigo.”

“What did you say?”

“I said you’re beautiful. I don’t want to fight with you. I only want to make love with you.”

His head bent and he kissed her neck. As he lowered her to the bed, she moaned. This wasn’t the way for them to solve the problems between them. But for now she’d accept it.

She was glad that she had on a gown; it made it so much easier. She closed her eyes as his hands made their way under the flimsy material and he began caressing her. “Rafe,” she whispered, “I’m trying.”

“I know you are, baby. Don’t worry,
mi amor
. We’ll get it right.”

She wrapped her arms around him, her heart breaking over what she knew wasn’t the end of pain for them. “Rafe,” she said, the pain in her voice evident even to her own ears. Angela stopped herself from saying more. There were no promises she could make. She could only offer him now.

“Touch me,” he moaned in her ear.

This she could do. She pulled his pants from his hips and ran her hand down his torso, loving the feel of him, as she always did. She felt the shiver as she touched him, and smiled. Angela never tired of the feel of Rafe’s body. She begin kissing his shoulder, working her way down his arm, finding his muscle firm and hard. She ran her fingers over the indentations, over all of him before she cupped him, giving him what he wanted. She caressed him as he caressed her and together they moaned and found their way toward heaven when he entered her.

Tears slid beneath her closed lids, and she held in the words she so wanted to say to him. She didn’t want to end this and make her words into a lie. And so far they had not found a way to make it work out of bed. They’d stolen two days and even those had been fraught with problems.

* * *

She woke with kisses on her face and his hand between her legs and she smiled before turning to face him.

“Will you go out with me?” he asked.

She thought of the words had brother had used and hesitated. If they took their relationship to the streets, people would see them. She shivered. If anything happened to him she would never be able to forgive herself.

“Have you tired of me so soon?” she laughed, attempting to turn his request and her answer into a joke. “I thought we could maybe watch a movie on television or something.”

“Are you ashamed of me?”

“No, of course not.”

“It feels that way.”

“It’s not.

“Then what is it?”

“Things are happening that we agreed in the beginning we wouldn’t allow, going out just makes it more…”

“More what? Like a relationship, like we’re not just using each other for sex?”

She cringed. “Rafe, I have to finish what I came here to do. I haven’t lied to you about my reasons for moving here.

“I’m only asking you to go out with me. I haven’t asked for a lifetime commitment.”

She wanted to do as he asked but subconsciously Angela wondered if she would be placing them both at risk if she did. She wished she could tell him that they were being spied on but wondered if that would make things worse. What would happen to her brother?

“Forget it, Angel.”

She witnessed the hurt in his voice, saw it on his face, and she didn’t want it there. “I’ll go,” she said.

“Don’t do me any favors.”

Oh yeah, her life was becoming more complicated by the day. She knew she was about to plead with a man she’d hated a few weeks ago to forgive her. She should be running as far away from him as she could get before one or both of them got hurt.

“Rafe, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to. I just don’t want either of us to get hurt. We both have a lot at stake here. I don’t want us to cloud things just because of sex.”

She saw his disparaging look and laughed. “Okay, I’ll admit it’s incredible, out-of-this-galaxy sex. Still, I don’t want us getting confused about what’s happening between us.”

“No
, mi amor
, let’s not confuse things.”

“Rafe.”

He stood glaring at her. “What? Isn’t this what you wanted, for me not to care about you, to think of this only as our having a good time?”

She groaned inwardly before answering him. “I thought we had decided that we could at least be friends.”

“You’re right, we’re friends.”

“And as your friend,” she allowed her voice to underline her words, “as your friend I would love to go out with you.”

Raphael stared at her. At least his
madrina
had told him what he was in for. He would indeed have to work for her love if he wanted it.

She smiled at him.

He wanted it.

“So where do you want to go and when?” Angela asked.