Two Halves Series (45 page)

I looked at my watch. Xander had a ten minute lead, and it was time to follow him through the forest. His daily ritual of bringing food to the witch was as predictable as the sunrise and sunset. He’d leave right after the training, and in the evening when the twins went to sleep. Twice a day, my best friend split his duties between watching over me (which I no longer needed) and uselessly talking to the witch.

Did Xela trick him the way she had tricked me? Part of me didn’t like the jealousy swirling though my body. After all, I had William and the twins. I was happy—happier than I’d ever imagined—raising my children, preparing them for a future I knew would be nothing short of difficult.

Should I listen to William and leave Xander and the witch alone? Perhaps, but I was drawn to Xela more than I wanted to admit. The connection between us after our soul switch lingered in my bones.

I missed the adventure, too, and longed for the day we could finally be rid of the warlock. We had no doubt the battle would be fiercer than the one in the underworld against hundreds of seekers. But Aseret had last attempted to attack over a year ago. His efforts to locate us were futile. Each time he tried, Eric would twirl his finger and magically tie Aseret back to the underworld. The warlock could send seekers to capture us again, but they had no chance against us. Their fears weakened them, and William could wring their necks before they even blinked their orange eyes. We were safe, but I didn’t want to feel such strong security. I knew as soon as we relaxed our guard, Aseret would step in.

Xander’s tracks on the forest floor were difficult to follow, but I eventually closed on him, remaining far enough behind that he wouldn’t detect my presence. Xander in a wolf form slowed his jog and shifted back to human. He must be nearing the place where Xela was held captive. The sun covered with stray clouds hung high enough not to affect my sight. I inhaled his aroma of a wet dog and shivered at the stench.

He froze and scanned the forest. Was he hunting?

I stopped when my best friend disappeared.
Crap!
Did he sense me? I ducked behind a bush. My ears perked up, sensitive as a hare’s. His footfalls were soundless and I peeked through the branches. Xander wasn’t there.

I rose and followed his scent, letting my nose find the way. Xander leaped in front of me and I jumped back, startled.

“What are you doing?” Xander stood with his hands on his hips, brow furrowed. He was controlling his anger; green shade hadn’t infused his face yet.

“You’re sneaking off to see her again,” I accused, holding my chin higher, but shame for breaking my promise made my cheeks burn. The contained revenge for the witch brewing inside me rushed through my body.

“First, I’m not sneaking. Second, it’s not your business, Sarah.” Xander squared his shoulders.

“She tried to kill me.” I widened my eyes for emphasis, and crossed my arms at my chest.

“It wasn’t her.”

“What?” I blurted as resentment burned in my veins. How could he dare defend her? “Then who? Why are you keeping her locked away? She should be dead.”

“You assume too much, Sarah.” Xander strained to sound calm.

“She stole my body and pretended William, my other half, belonged to her!” The echo of my voice flowed through the woods.

“Like I said, she’s no longer your business,” Xander said stubbornly.

“Xander,” I said, my tone now more reasonable, “I just want to understand. We’re friends.”

He relaxed as well. “No one can understand, because
I
don’t understand.”

His answer wasn’t satisfying. “Then let me help you figure out whatever you’re trying to figure out,” I pleaded.

He shook his head, the door closing again. “It’s not a good time. Go home, Sarah; be with William, be with the kids.”

I lowered my head.

“You don’t want to be with them?” he asked.

I looked at him. “No, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I miss you, and Mira.”

“We’re still around.”

“Not the way you used to be.” I bit my lip; my complaint sounded so childish. “You used to care more. You had my back.”

Xander sighed. “We still care, but at that time you didn’t know who you were. You needed our protection. Now you can hold your own and William can take care of you. I thought William was everything you’d wanted.”

“He was, and he is.” I cleared my throat. “It’s just a little hard to get used to all the changes so quickly. I mean, I’m married!”

“Mr. Perfect isn’t Mr. Perfect?” He chuckled.

“Stop it!” I showed my fangs. “You know he is, but I’m having a difficult time adjusting. Everyone cares about me so much. I’d always had only you and Mira and now, I have a family. A real family.”

“They always cared. You just didn’t know it.”

“And my children are trying to explore their demonic side.” I threw my arms up.

“You’re not telling me something. I know when you lie.” Smirking, Xander leaned against a tree. It was as if he’d turned the tables around on me and now I was beginning to amuse him.

“Well, it’s complicated for me, too.” I shuddered. How could I tell him the witch he’s been hiding was still connected to me and it felt like she hadn’t returned my entire soul to my body?

“Fine, then why is it so difficult for you to accept the children’s training?”

“Because I don’t understand their demonic side,” I exclaimed. “I know how to be human and a vampire, but the demons . . .”

“First off, they’re not
demonic
.” He rolled his eyes. “Besides, you know us.”

“You’re shapeshifters.”

He raised his brows. “We’re a little more than that, aren’t we?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “And that’s what I want to understand. What would make a strong shapeshifter like you want to keep the enemy alive?”

“There are things in this world you still don’t understand.”

His dismissal angered me. “Bull! You’re keeping a shield between us.”

“Sarah, I have to keep a shield between us.” He stepped forward until he stood only a foot away from me.

“Why?” A hint of his testosterone oozed toward me, and I held the air in my lungs. His scent danced inside me.

“Because if I don’t, I’ll do something we’ll both regret.”

The lump in my throat cleared with difficulty. This wasn’t the first time in the past year that Xander had almost crossed the line of our friendship. At one point, he and William had had a falling out after Xander stumbled upon me naked in the bathroom and made a comment about my perky front. They hadn’t spoken to each other for a month. Although it was an honest mistake, Xander apologized. Eric convinced us to let it go, that it wasn’t Xander’s fault. I trusted Eric more than I trusted my own instincts. After all, he was the only one who recognized me after my body had been switched for the witch’s.

“Xander, I’m with William.” I whispered with a difficult breath.

“I know. Believe me, I know.” His shoulders lowered, Xander brushed my cheek with the back of his hand.

“Then why?” I held my gaze locked with his.

“Because I’m a man.” He licked his lower lip.

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“I can make you feel better.” He lifted my chin, rubbing his thumb on the dimple below my lip.

“Xander . . .”

I wanted to pull away but couldn’t. A magnetic force held me close to my best friend. Stepping back would feel like falling off a cliff, death.

“I’ve known you all my life, and you bear the closest resemblance to someone I’d known well. Your curves are identical, your smile, the way your eyes light up when you say my name.” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear with his other hand.

“That’s because you’re my best friend. I trust you. I . . . I care about you but not in the way you want me to.”

“I know, Sarah.” He sighed. “I care about you too, and not in the way you may be thinking right now, but our friendship is the closest thing to love I may ever have.”

“Why can’t you find someone?”

His laugh was bitter. “I already found her, but we cannot be.”

“Who?”

“It’s complicated.”

“You know you have a friend in me forever, right?” I leaned in to comfort him, even though I knew shouldn’t have.

“I know,” he whispered, burrowing his face in my shoulder, nestling his nose in my hair.

The cologne he wore today smelled more attractive than other days. There was a hint of the woody musk I loved to smell on William, along with a sweet aroma of raspberries and the tartness of a rose.

Xander lifted his head, bringing his face inches away from mine. I’d never looked at his mouth the way I did today. The pull toward him was more than magnetic; it was magical. His lungs expanded against my front as his chest pressed into mine. Xander’s eyes mellowed, and his lip swelled, inviting me. I refused to breathe, afraid that if I did, my next breath would be shared with his.

“Shit!” He pulled away.

I shook off the pheromones that drew me closer to him, shivering like a wet dog. What just happened?

“I’m sorry about this, Sarah.” He backed against a tree.

“What was that?” My hand flew to my mouth then my head. I paced in a circle wondering how my feelings for Xander could have been so strong. I cared for him, but this was more than caring. This was love, lust and desire all combined into one.

He held up his hand. “I’ll fix things, I promise.”

“What do you have to fix now?” I froze, my forehead wrinkling.

“Look, if I show you where Xela is, do you promise to keep your distance?”

I nodded like an eager kid.

“And you won’t question why I’m keeping her?”

I nodded again, stepping from one foot to the other.

“Nor hurt her?”

“Yes, yes, yes. I agree to it all.” I grinned.

“Pinky swear?” He held out his hand, hesitant.

I didn’t laugh. This was the most important promise Xander could make.

“Pinky swear.” I hooked my finger into his.

“Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Because even if I take you to her, I don’t want you to see where she is.”

“Fine.” I shut my eyes, keen on seeing Xela. If I could face her just once, perhaps she’d answer my question as to how I’d changed. This was progress, and much more than I expected after Xander discovered my trail on him.

A ripping sound drew my gaze, and I opened my eyes long enough to see that Xander had torn the sleeve off his shirt. I closed them again as he tied the sleeve around my head, covering my sight.

“And don’t use your senses. I’ll be confusing you anyway.”

“You know you don’t have to do that,” I said.

“You’d be surprised what kind of trouble acute senses can get you into.”

I exhaled. “Okay.” But I crossed my fingers behind my back.

Fur tickled against my leg. Xander had shifted into a wolf and sidled up beside me, indicating that I should sit on his back. The dip just above his hinds was a perfect seat as he carried me through the forest. The cool wind wrapped around my limbs. Leaning forward, I burrowed my face in his fur and tightened my grip. He sped between the trees at his fastest sprint, sometimes circling back the way we’d come. I tried not to use my senses, but that was like asking a human not to breathe. My senses were part of me and not something I could turn off, not anymore. And Xander knew that.

He leapt over a creek, then a second one, much wider. At one point I thought he’d jumped over a gully; perhaps he did. After a while, his sprint turned into a trot, then a walk. Xander shook his torso, wriggling me off his back. Breaking bones and cracking ribs told me he’d shifted back, and I removed my blindfold. We continued as two humans on foot.

Twenty minutes later, we stood in a valley deeper in the Amazon than I’d ever ventured. I’d never been to the Grand Canyon before, but this place was exactly what I imagined that geographical wonder to be, except here, the forest didn’t thin into pink rock cliffs. It expanded, the greenery as luscious as it was in my corner of the jungle. I looked up, shielding my eyes from the sun directly above us. A stream of fresh water gurgled nearby, and my stomach grumbled.

“We’ll get food on the way back,” Xander told me, stepping toward a rock the size of a minivan.

I nodded when he turned back at me.

“When you see her, don’t listen,” he continued. “She’ll try to sway you, and if she does, I’ll have to sedate her.”

“Okay,” I said cautiously.

“And wipe that smirk off your face. You look like you’ve just won a prize.” He paused, then added. “Trust me, you haven’t.”

Xander pushed aside a boulder to reveal the dark opening of a cave. We stepped into the endless abyss. As my sight adjusted, Xander lit the end of a branch he’d retrieved from beside the entrance. I smelled gasoline. The torch cast pervasive shadows on the walls. Chills ran up my spine—not from fear, but adrenaline. I felt the way I had four years ago, when I fought against Aseret, then tricked Xela to get my body back. Anxiety rushed through me, mixed with nerves and excitement of the unknown. My passive life before I met William and knew who I was had long been gone, and I craved danger and someone to challenge my strength all the time.

Xander led me ten steps down into the cave before pushing open a wooden door. Rusted hinges squeaked, sprinkling copper-colored dust in an arc along the cave floor. In one corner of the misshapen almost octagonal room, black roses bloomed on a low bush with one red flower in the midst of its leaves. The aroma from the blossoms hit me as soon as we entered; their intense scent reminded me of the rosy scent I’d smelled on Xander. Walls lined with shelves held pots and clear jars filled with skeletal ingredients and gooey liquids; dried herbs hung from the ceiling. The burrow reminded me of Mrs. G’s hill, but this one felt lonely. Even with the heat streaming from a fireplace, the chills never left my spine. Anyone living here was meant to be isolated from the world.

“This was her house?” I asked.

“No, this is a replica of where she lived in the underworld.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand why you would do this, Xander.”

“I . . . I have my reasons,” he stuttered. Xander’s voice never shook. His eyes darted from me to a darker corner of the room. He stepped in front of me, blocking my view, probably wary of me, fearing I’d kill the witch.