Two For Joy (2 page)

Ruth had started out as a typist in a small but busy architectural firm in Dublin. After two months she'd been promoted when the boss's secretary had been headhunted by a rival firm. She'd proved her worth and when the company had taken on an extra partner, she'd been given the grand title of office administrator, plus a rise in salary. Ruth was efficient and ambitious, far more so than Heather, who had always been the quieter of the two. She shared a house with three other girls, near Phibsboro. Lorna envied her enormously, although she'd never let on to Ruth.

Heather and Lorna had stayed over several times at weekends when Ruth had a free house. And it was because of these precious weekends that Lorna made a half-hearted effort now and again to stay on good terms with her cousin. Lorna was always in her element, drinking and bopping to her heart's content, revelling in the capital's frantic, fast-paced lifestyle.

It had been after a meal in the Bad Ass Café and a night's dancing and drinking in Bad Bob's that Ruth and Lorna had finally had a parting of the ways. They had been sitting in the back of a taxi on the way home when Lorna had felt the urge to puke.

‘Don't you dare barf or we'll be turfed out of the taxi and we'll never get another one at this hour of the night,' Ruth hissed furiously when Lorna slurred that she felt a bit queasy. Ruth was a bit pissed herself, but not
that
pissed. Typical of Lorna, couldn't hold her drink. Heather was always nursemaiding her and holding her head over toilets when they went out. If it were Ruth Lorna was depending on, her cousin would end up drowned in a toilet bowl, Ruth often assured her twin.

Lorna valiantly held on until the taxi driver rounded a corner at a fast lick and she could contain her nausea no longer. Quietly and discreetly she puked into her cousin's handbag, which just happened to be lying on the seat between them. Ruth was giggling at a joke Heather had made about the driver's obvious desire to race in a grand prix and was distracted momentarily.

Because the house keys were in her coat pocket, she hadn't needed to rummage for them in her bag and hadn't made the putrid discovery until around noon the following day when she reached into her bag to find her lipstick before going out to buy provisions for a fry-up. ‘You skanky, dirty wagon, I'll murder you. I'll break your scabby, scrawny little neck,' she shrieked as she raced into the room Heather and Lorna were sharing. She hauled her drowsy cousin out of the bed and shook her. ‘Get dressed, you, and get the hell out of here. I've had enough of you, Lorna Morgan. If you can't look after yourself when we go out you're not coming with us any more and that's it. And you're not staying here again. Go and stay with someone else when you come down to Dublin. That was a
gross
stunt to pull. Why didn't you puke in your own bag, you silly bitch?'

‘It's a Lulu Guinness. It cost me a fortune!' Lorna bleated, horrified at both the unexpected assault and the notion that she should ruin a designer label handbag. Even in her hungover state, she knew her priorities.

‘I don't care if it's encrusted with diamonds, you shouldn't have puked into mine – but it's the last time you'll pull an act like that on me, I can promise you that,' Ruth raged as she thrust a handful of clothes at her cousin. ‘There's a bus for Kilronan at one thirty, leaving from the quays. Be on it.'

‘Oh, get over it, it will be a pleasure, you grumpy old hoor! Come on, Heather,' Lorna snapped dismissively.

‘
Excuse me,
Heather is staying here.
You're
the one who's leaving,' Ruth retorted icily.

Heather groaned silently. Why was she always dragged into it? She hated being the pig-in-the-middle when the other pair were fighting.

‘Let Heather decide for herself, she doesn't have to do everything
you
tell her,' Lorna challenged.

Both of them turned to look expectantly at her. Heather's heart sank. This was definitely a no-win situation. One or other of them was going to be miffed with her, whatever she decided. It wasn't fair. The row had nothing to do with her.

‘Leave me alone, I want to die,' she mumbled under the bedclothes. If she pretended her hangover was worse than it was, they might have mercy on her.

‘There! She's staying,' Ruth declared triumphantly.

‘She didn't say that,' Lorna shot back. ‘Are you coming or staying?' she demanded of Heather, determined to make her cousin choose one way or the other.

‘I couldn't face a bus journey right now, Lorna, gimme a break.' Heather groaned and buried her head under the duvet.

‘Thanks
very
much. Some friend you are.' Lorna grabbed her clothes and stalked into the bathroom.

‘Ignore her,' Ruth advised.

‘There's a pair of you in it, sometimes—'

‘For God's sake, she puked in my handbag. How low can you get? Go home with her if you want to, see if I care,' Ruth retorted huffily.

‘I don't want to,' Heather appeased. It was bad enough having Lorna in a huff, Ruth in a huff was the pits.

‘I'll cook us a fry-up when she's gone,' her twin said over her shoulder as she left the bedroom to deal with the messy business of her handbag.

Lorna ignored Heather when she came back into the room to collect her shoes and precious Lulu Guinness handbag. Heather snuggled further under the duvet trying to regain her previous pleasantly drowsy state. But it was ruined. Lorna was in a huff with her and she resented it bitterly.

‘Lorna, I—'

‘Don't bother,' Lorna snapped. ‘I know where I'm not wanted. I'm just a convenience in your life. Your
twin
' – she spat the word – ‘is the only one who counts where you're concerned. Just don't come running to me the next time you're stuck for someone to go out with.'

She slammed the door behind her, leaving Heather fuming. How dare Lorna imply she had no one else to go out with. She had plenty of friends in Kilronan.

Lorna hadn't spoken to Heather for a fortnight until she wanted her to go to a pub quiz with her and breezed into the accountant's office where Heather worked as though nothing had happened. Arctic conditions still existed between her and Ruth and they had not socialized together since the handbag episode. Ruth wasn't a bit put out. She had her own life to lead and Lorna, happily, wasn't part of it.

Heather came back to the present as the girl behind the counter called over to her to ask if she wanted salt and vinegar on her chips. One of these days, she too would put Lorna in her place and not be a wimp about it, she promised herself as the delightful sizzle of frying batter and the wafting smells of garlic and vinegar made her mouth water.

Monday she was going to start. New diet. New fitness regime. New assertive attitude to life. And Lorna Morgan could take a running jump!

2

Lorna Morgan was thoroughly pissed off as she drove along North Road. There was no sign of her wishy-washy cousin. She'd hoped to overtake her trudging home in the rain and drive past with her head in the air. She gave a sigh that came from her toes. Heather was so staid and boring sometimes. She had no sense of adventure. Lorna
had!
She just knew that there had to be more to life than working as a receptionist in the Lake View Hotel and living at home with her parents and two younger brothers, Eoin and Aidan, who were the bane of her life. She was a month short of her nineteenth birthday, Heather was practically the same age, life was there for the taking and they were wasting precious time stuck here in the back end of nowhere. If only her cousin would come with her to live in Dublin. Everything would change. She just knew it.

She could go on her own, she supposed, but it would be very lonely. She didn't know anyone in Dublin apart from her obnoxious cousin Ruth, and
she
most certainly didn't count. Lorna wrinkled her pert little nose. She hadn't spoken to Ruth since she'd thrown her out of the flat and not even for a temporary place to stay in the city would she lower herself to ever speak to that ignorant cow again, she vowed, as she overtook a tractor at speed.

If she went to Dublin on her own where would she live, though? Good accommodation was hard to come by. She didn't want to live in a poky little bedsit in Rathmines. Certainly not. Or not even in a boring semi, like the one Ruth rented with her friends. Lorna had visions of herself in a smart apartment in town, or in the new, refurbished docklands. She was an avid reader of the property pages in the papers and spent many happy hours imagining herself entertaining new trendy friends in her own upmarket pad.

But first she'd have to get a job. There was a shortage of hotel staff in all the large cities according to the tourist board, so finding a position shouldn't pose a problem. Better get the job first before worrying about accommodation. Lorna sighed again. She'd had this conversation with herself a hundred times. If she didn't go and do
something
about it soon, she'd be so over the hill no one would want to give her a job. It was time to be proactive, she decided.

She liked the word ‘proactive'. It had impressed her when she'd heard the manager use it at a staff meeting. It was a sophisticated sort of a word. Lorna was all for sophistication.

Yes, she thought, she would get the names of all the prestigious hotels in Dublin and send them her CV and references. Surely one of them would want a receptionist of her experience? The Lake View had a hundred bedrooms and a leisure centre, after all, and that wasn't to be sneezed at. She'd been working in the hotel every summer since she was fourteen and had got the job as trainee receptionist when she'd finished her Leaving Cert. As far as she was concerned she was now a fully fledged receptionist and she certainly wasn't going to mention ‘trainee' in her CV.

Lorna chewed her lip. If only Heather would come with her to Dublin it would be perfect. She'd have someone she knew to rely on. She wasn't as brave as Ruth, going off to live in the city on her own. To tell the truth, she was a little in awe of her strong-willed cousin. She was much tougher than Heather. Heather could always be got around and prevailed upon to do what Lorna wanted her to do. Ruth was immovable once her mind was made up. For twins, they were chalk and cheese.

It was a bad move being snooty with Heather when she was trying to persuade her to leave Kilronan, she reflected ruefully. She'd better be nice to her at Oliver Flynn's wedding tomorrow. She'd get her pissed and try once again to persuade her to come and live in Dublin. Once they got there, Heather would love it, Lorna was sure of it.

She might as well go and have a session in the gym, she decided. She needed to look her absolute best for job interviews and who knew, maybe one of the guests using the gym while she was there might be a rich businessman taking a few days out of the rat race of city life. He'd see her working out and start chatting her up. Then he'd invite her out for a drink, or even dinner, and who knew what it would lead to. If he was absolutely gorgeous she might even consider doing the business with him, she fantasized.

Lorna was longing to sleep with a man. A real man, not a wimpy doormat who let her walk all over him the way Derek did. She'd read so many articles in glossy magazines about fabulous sex. It really was time for her to experience it and become a sexual, sensual woman. Lots of her friends had had sex – she and Heather were practically the only virgins out of all the girls in their class. Dolores Redmond had lost her virginity at fourteen and had slept with loads of blokes. So had Margy Collins. It made Lorna feel extremely inadequate to know that she was practically nineteen, and hadn't done the business yet.

Ruth had.

Heather had confided this nugget to her one night when she was a bit tipsy. Lorna had been pea green. Ruth was not half as attractive as she was. Her cousin was well built, hardly a slender sylph like herself. She had thick, wavy chestnut hair that flew all over the place, unlike Lorna's groomed silken blonde bob. Ruth had nondescript grey-green eyes while Lorna's were the bluest of cornflower blue. And yet her cousin seemed to have no trouble attracting men. It was galling to think that she'd done it before Lorna.

Although she'd never admit it to her cousins, the thought of having sex scared Lorna. Once, when she was a little girl, she'd seen a man, not her father, doing things to her mother, when her father was at work. Jane Morgan had been making funny breathy moaning noises and Lorna was afraid. She slipped out of the bedroom, her heart pounding. Should she call a neighbour and say her mother was being attacked, she wondered frantically? What if the man came after her? She should hide. She ran to the little cubbyhole under the stairs until eventually she heard the heavy tread of footsteps and the man's voice calling a good-humoured farewell. When the man was gone her mother had been smiling and happy, humming to herself as she strolled into the kitchen in her dressing-gown, to make herself a cup of coffee.

‘Hello, Chicken,' she'd greeted her, uncharacteristically warmly, when Lorna had slipped warily into the kitchen. Lorna knew something was different – ‘Chicken' was an endearment that was rarely used by her mother, who was not maternal by nature. ‘What are you doing here? I thought you were over playing with Ruth and Heather?'

‘We had a fight. Ruth always wants her own way,' Lorna whinged sulkily.

‘Hmm.' Her mother was miles away, her eyes dreamy and unfocused. It was clear she hadn't heard a word Lorna'd said. Usually Jane would be annoyed to hear of the cousins fighting among themselves. It suited her much better if there was peace and harmony so that her children could play over with their cousins, out from under her feet.

When Lorna was older, she'd seen a couple having sex in a film on TV and the memory of that distant, warm, Indian summer's afternoon had come back like a tidal wave. She'd looked at her slim, pretty mother and realized that she'd been having sex with another man. It had shocked her deeply. She never thought of her parents as sexual beings. Parents didn't do the things to each other that film stars did on TV, kissing and touching breasts and worse … And mothers in Kilronan definitely did
not
have affairs! She became hostile towards Jane. Angry with her for not being like other mothers. Especially like her Auntie Anne, Ruth and Heather's mother.