Two Faced (Harry Tyler Book 2)
DEDICATION
With much love the author dedicates
Two Faced
to Tania, without whose support and encouragement it would never have seen the light of day. He also tips his titfer at the Bushwhacker for inspiration, and to Joseph Mellor, RIP, who should take the blame for his entire career. Special thanks go to Michael Fournaris and André Schlesinger.
Life would be less pleasant without the love and friendship of: Julie, Danny, Robert, Jenna, Ciara, Terry, Lauren & TC, Ethan, Mick and Helen, Tommy and Claire, Paul and Sue, Lol Pryor, Colin and Kathryn, Dave and Lynda, Vic and Mandy, Kara and Jez, Pat Mancini, Garry and Julie Johnson, Sally Hand, Gerard Nicoletti, Wilf Pine, Spider Mike, Colin Butts, Ally Ross, Jill Print, Alan Lewis, Karin Secker, Conrad Chant, Margaret French, Joanna Burns, Kathy Gray, Colin Williams, Roel Middlebos, Skully, Jeff Turner, Jane Rumbold, Sandy Lane, Si Spanner, Dougie The Gold, Batty, Pete Way, Nellie, Scotch John, Jim and Sharon, Garry Hodges, Oxo, Tony Clayman, Andy Swallow, Panny and Gil, Barnet Mark, Watford John, Harry in Belfast, Captain Oi, Colin Blood, Frankie and Jill, Dudders, Steve Green, Clyde and Jayne, John King, Charlton Athletic Football Club, Trisha Harbord, my friend at the
People
and the Gonads, God bless ’em.
PREFACE
The first Harry Tyler novel,
The Face
, came out in the summer of 2001. It made two tabloid front pages, got me sacked from the
Sun
and inspired a campaign of support in the
Guardian
.
I await the response to
Two Faced
with a mix of gleeful anticipation and sheer terror.
GLOSSARY OF SLANG TERMS
| Apples | £20 notes (apple cores=scores; |
| | also Georges, from George Daws) |
| Aris | Arse (Aristotle=bottle; |
| | bottle and glass=arse; also April, |
| | April in Paris=aris) |
| Banged up | Imprisoned |
| Bang to rights | Caught red-handed; guilty |
| Barry | A big woman (Barry |
| | McGuigan=big ’un) |
| Bent | Crooked or stolen (used chiefly |
| | of goods) |
| Bent | Gay (see iron) |
| Bird | Time in prison (bird lime=time) |
| Blade Runner | Someone transporting |
| | stolen goods |
| Blag | Rob (originally a pay-roll or |
| | money delivery in public place) |
| Blagger | Robber |
| Boat | Face (boat race=face; also |
| | Chevy Chase) |
| The boob | Prison |
| Boost | To hot-wire a car |
| Boracic | Skint (boracic lint=skint) |
| Bottle out | To lose one’s nerve |
| Brass | Prostitute (also Tom, dripper) |
| Brown bread | Dead |
| Bullseye | £50 |
| Bung | A bribe |
| Bushel | Neck (bushel and peck=neck) |
| Butchers | Look (butcher’s hook=look) |
| Carpet | Three months’ imprisonment |
| Charlie | Cocaine (also Gianluca, Gianluca |
| | Vialli=charlie; snow; Chas; |
| | sherbet; Ying; marching powder) |
| Chavvy | A child (Romany) |
| China | Mate (china plate=mate) |
| Chiv | A knife |
| The Church | Customs & Excise (C of E) |
| Clean | Innocent, especially of carrying |
| | illegal goods |
| Clobber | Clothes |
| Cockle | £10 (cock and hen=ten) |
| Collar felt | To be arrested (‘he had his |
| | collar felt’) |
| The Currant | The Sun (currant bun=sun) |
| Dabs | Fingerprints |
| Daisy | A safe-breaking tool |
| Darby | Stomach (Darby Kelly=belly) |
| Dipper | Pick-pocket |
| Diving | Pick-pocketry |
| Dog | Telephone (dog and |
| | bone=phone) |
| Doris | A woman |
| Drink | A bribe – ranging from a drink |
| | to a nice drink to a handsome |
| | drink |
| Dripper | Prostitute |
| Drumming | House-breaking |
| Earner | Easy money |
| Elephants | Inebriated (Elephant’s |
| | trunk=drunk; also legless; Brahms |
| | and Liszt=pissed) |
| Eye-tie | An Italian gentleman |
| Feds | Undercover cops |
| Fence | A receiver of stolen goods |
| Filth | The police (also Old Bill; Plod; |
| | Dibble; cozzers; rozzers) |
| Firm | A gang |
| Fit up | To give or plant false evidence |
| Flowery | Prison cell (flowery dell=cell) |
| Four-be | A Jewish man (four-be two=Jew) |
| Frankie | A cut-throat razor (Frankie |
| | Fraser=razor) |
| Friend of ours | One of us (As distinct from ‘a |
| | friend of mine’, which means he |
| | seems OK but hasn’t been fully |
| | referenced) |
| Gaff | A house (also drum) |
| Gary | Toilet or anus (Gary |
| | Glitter=shitter; also Khazi) |
| Give a pull | To impart words of advice |
| Gold watch | Scotch whisky |
| Grass | Informer |
| Grumble | Vagina (grumble and grunt=cunt) |
| Gypsy’s | A piss (gypsy’s kiss=piss; also |
| | Jimmy, Jimmy Riddle=piddle; |
| | slash; lash) |
| Hampton | Penis (Hampton Wick=prick) |
| Hand Grenades | AIDS |
| Hank Marvin | Starving |
| Harry | Semen (Harry Monk=spunk) |
| A Henry | An eighth of an ounce of |
| | cannabis, from Henry VIII |
| In the frame | To be prime suspect |
| Iron | Gay man (iron hoof=poof; also |
| | Duke of Kent=bent; ginger |
| | beer=queer) |
| Jack and Danny | Vagina (Jack and Danny=fanny; |
| | also Nook and Cranny) |
| Jacks | £5 (Jack’s alive=five; also Lady |
| | Godiva=fiver) |
| Jacksie | Arse |
| Jamjar | Car |
| Jiggle | A Frenchman (jiggle and |
| | jog=frog) |
| Jivvle | A woman (dismissive term) |
| Joe | A Pakistani man (Joe Daki=Paki) |
| A Janet | A quarter of an ounce of |
| cannabis | (Janet Street Porter=quarter) |
| K | £1,000 |
| K | Ketamine (also known as Special |
| | K, Vitamin K) |
| Khazi | Toilet |
| Khyber | Arse, from Khyber Pass |
| Kosher | The real thing |
| Long firm | A business set up and allowed to |
| | run over a fairly lengthy period |
| | with the sole intention of |
| | defrauding creditors |
| Manor | Neighborhood |
| Mark yer cards | To give advice |
| Minces | Eyes (mince pies=eyes) |
| Monkey | £500 |
| Moody | Fake |
| Mug | A stupid person (also muppet; |
| | ice cream) |
| Mulla | To beat up. |
| Mutton | Deaf (Mutt and Jeff=deaf) |
| Ned | TV (Ned Kelly=telly) |
| Nonce | Child-sex offender |
| Nugget | A one pound coin |
| Oedipus | Sex (Oedipus Rex=sex) |
| Oily | Cigarette (oily rag=fag) |
| On your jack | Alone (Jack Jones=alone) |
| OP | Observation post |
| Orchestras | Testicles (orchestra stalls=balls; |
| | also cobblers, cobblers awls=balls) |
| Parcel | A consignment of stolen goods |
| Patsies | Piles (Patsy Palmer’s=farmers, |
| | Farmer Giles=piles) |
| Peter | A safe |
| Pete Tong | Wrong |
| Pet the poodle | Female masturbation (also beat |
| | the beaver, hit the slit, juice the |
| | sluice, bash the gash, slam the clam) |
| Pigs | Beer (pig’s ear=beer, usually on |
| | George Raft=draft) |
| Plates | Feet (plates of meat=feet) |
| Pony | £25 (also macaroni=pony) |
| Pony | Crap (pony and trap=crap) |
| Pop | Pawn (popcorn=pawn) |
| Porkies | Lies (porky pies=lies) |
| Porridge | Time in prison |
| Puff | Cannabis (also dope, grass, |
| | blow, wacky baccy, ganja, |
| | weed, pot) |
| Pukka | A real deal |
| Queen Mum | Bum (also Kingdom Come) |
| Rock ’n’ Roll | Unemployed (rock ’n’ roll=dole) |
| Rosy | Tea (Rosy Lee=tea) |
| Rubber | Pub (rubadubdub=pub; also |
| | battle cruiser=boozer) |
| Ruby | Curry (Ruby Murray=curry) |
| Salmon | Erection (salmon and |
| | prawn=horn; also lob-on) |
| Saucepan | Child (saucepan lid=kid) |
| Schnide | Fake (also Sexton Blake=fake) |
| Score | £20 |
| See You Next Tuesday | A cunt |
| Septic | American (septic tank=Yank) |
| Sherbert | A cab (sherbert dab=cab) |
| Silvery | A black man (silvery |
| | spoon=coon; also Fergal, Fergal |
| | Sharkey=darky) |
| Slag | A person with no principles |
| Slaphead | A bald man or Yelland, one who |
| | wears the pink crash helmet |
| Slaughter | A safe place to dispose of stolen |
| | goods (also slaughter house) |
| Smack | Heroin (also horse, H, junk, skag, |
| | shit, brown, Harry, boy, the white |
| | palace, the Chinaman’s nightcap) |
| Sov | £1 (from sovereign) |
| SP | Information (starting prices) |
| Speed | Amphetamines (also sulph, |
| | whizz, Billy, phets) |
| Spiel | Patter |
| Squirt | Ammonia in a bottle |
| Stewards | Investigation (from steward’s |
| | inquiry) |
| Stretch | One year in prison |
| Stripe | To cut the face with a Frankie |
| | or a chiv |
| Surrey Docks | Syphilis (Surrey Docks=pox) |
| Swagman | A dealer in cheap market goods |
| Swede | Head (also loaf, loaf of |
| | bread=head; noggin) |
| Syrup | Wig (syrup of figs=wigs) |
| Taters | Cold (potatoes in the |
| | mould=cold; also brass monkey’s, |
| | from it’s cold enough to freeze |
| | the balls off a brass monkey) |
| Tea leaf | Thief |
| Thru’pennies | Breasts (thru’penny bits=tits; also |
| | Bristols, Bristol Cities=titties; |
| | Earthas, Eartha Kitts=tits) |
| Tiddlies | Chinese people |
| | (tiddlywink=chink) |
| Tin-tack | Sack |
| Tits up | To go wrong, or pear-shaped, as |
| | in ‘it’s all gone tits up’ |
| Tom | Jewellery (tomfoolery=jewellery) |
| Tom | Defecate (go for a Tom, Tom |
| | Tit=shit; also a Forest, Forest |
| | Gump=dump) |
| Weasel | Coat (weasel and stoat=coat) |
| Whistle | Suit (whistle and flute=suit) |
| Wipe his mouth | To put up with the situation |
| Wrong ’un | Bad or untrustworthy person |
| Wutherings | Tights (Wuthering |
| | Heights=tights) |
| Yelland | see Grumble |
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