Frieda smiled. ‘And
are
you, Silke?’ she asked.
Silke went even redder.
‘No!’ she said, slightly too loudly. ‘You know which girl Otto thinks about. Same as Pauly does. Dagmar of course.’
‘But you
have
been seeing a lot of him,’ Frieda pressed.
‘Yes and I want to be able to keep seeing him and this business of the Hitler Youth becoming mandatory could make things go very wrong. If Otto refuses to obey the law, his teachers won’t be able to help him even if they want to. He’ll be arrested; it could actually mean a concentration camp.’
Wolfgang had been silent as he almost always was but now quite suddenly he slammed down his glass, spilling whatever foul-smelling spirit it was he’d been drinking on to the closed lid of his piano.
‘He can’t,’ Wolfgang said in what was almost a croak. ‘He
can’t
go there. I
know
what they do.’
They all turned to him. Wolfgang never spoke of his experiences in the camp. He rarely spoke of anything much any more, particularly if he’d managed to find something to drink. Now, however, he was shaking with emotion. ‘My little Ottsy can’t go there,’ he said, ‘he just can’t. The only way to survive in there is to beg and plead. With his character he’d be dead in a week.’
‘I know. I
know
,’ Silke said, ‘but what can we do? You know Ottsy, he’s so bloody-minded and he says nothing can persuade him to wear that uniform. He says he’s been taking life too easy and it’s time he let them all know he’s still a Jew. I can’t understand it. Everything was going so well and now he’s just so
angry
again. I think something must have happened and he’s not saying what.’
Paulus spoke up.
‘I know what’s made him so angry, Silks,’ and then added quietly, ‘and I know a way to make him see sense too.’
‘Tell us then, Pauly!’ Silke said eagerly.
‘You’re not going to like it,’ Paulus went on. ‘And for that matter nor am I.’
‘If it stops Ottsy getting himself sent to a camp then I’ll like it,’ Silke said firmly.
‘Why has Otto suddenly got so furious again, Pauly?’ Frieda asked. ‘Tell us what you know.’
‘All right then. Ottsy tried to see Dagmar the other night.’
‘Did you see him?’ Frieda gasped. ‘Did you talk to him?’
‘No, Mrs Fischer would hardly let him in the house. Anyway Dagmar made me stay in her room. She thought it would be even harder to make him go if he saw me.’
‘Dagmar spoke to him?’
‘Not for long. She sent him away. She told him that he wasn’t one of us any more. That she didn’t want to see him because he had a life and she didn’t.’
‘What a bitch!’ Silke exclaimed.
‘Silke!’ Frieda scolded. ‘I hate that word.’
‘Well, sorry. But I mean
really
it’s not Ottsy’s fault, is it?’
‘Look,’ Paulus said. ‘Perhaps I’m not putting what she said very well. It made sense at the time and it was mainly Frau Fischer who spoke to him anyway. And of course by turning up he was putting them in a lot of danger. He really should have thought of that. Perhaps he did but he just couldn’t stop himself … We all know how he feels about Dagmar.’
Silke looked away. Frieda reached over and squeezed her hand.
‘So it’s pretty obvious why he’s started acting up again,’ Paulus went on. ‘Dagmar refusing to see him will have made him crazy. He wants to prove he’s still a Jew. I know him. I
know
how he feels and he’d rather die and have her respect than live without it.’
Frieda’s face contorted with alarm.
‘You said you had an idea, Pauly. What is it?’ she asked.
‘Well,’ Paulus said grimly, ‘like I said, Dagmar’s getting very depressed.’
‘What’s she got to do with it?’ Silke exclaimed. ‘We’re talking about Ottsy.’
‘I know that, Silks,’ Paulus said patiently. ‘But you know as well as I do that Dagmar is the key to him. Anyway she’s kind of withdrawing within herself. Sort of giving up, a bit like …’
Paulus stopped himself but he couldn’t help casting a glance in the direction of Wolfgang.
‘Like me?’ Wolfgang said with a bitter smile. ‘Not quite as bad as that I hope. But if she is, you must make sure she avoids wood-based alcohol. It can blind you if you haven’t built up a tolerance.’
‘Please, Wolf,’ Frieda said, trying to mask the distaste in her voice. ‘We’re talking about Otto. Go on, Pauly.’
‘Frau Fischer’s really worried about her,’ Paulus said. ‘Dagmar used to love to go out. She loves to
do
things. She’s not like me. I can read a book, but she’s a
physical
person and she’s sort of
fading away
. She needs to be able to go swimming, she needs to go to cafés. Believe it or not, she needs tickets to the Olympics.’
Silke could hardly contain her frustration.
‘Well, she
can’t
go to the bloody Olympics, can she?’ she snapped. ‘What has all this got to do with—’
‘But you see she can,’ Paulus went on. ‘All she needs is a good cover. All she needs … is a Nazi boyfriend.’
‘You mean … Ottsy?’ Frieda gasped.
Silke looked dumbstruck.
‘Exactly,’ Paulus said. ‘If she was going about on the arm of a uniformed
Jungmann
from the elite Napola school, she could get in anywhere she wanted with no questions asked. He could even take her swimming, I’m sure of it.’
‘Yes,’ Silke conceded quietly, knowing instantly that her days as Otto’s best and only friend were over. ‘I suppose that’s right.’
‘And that’s the way we’ll keep Otto from causing trouble for himself. You have to go to him, Silks, and tell him that the better a Nazi he looks the more he’ll be able to help Dagmar. That’ll bring him round for sure.’
‘Goodness, Pauly!’ Frieda said. ‘What a clever plan.’
‘Isn’t it?’ Silke said glumly.
She and Paulus looked at each other. Both understanding the sacrifices they were each going to have to make.
Silke did her duty on the following Sunday, explaining to Otto Paulus’s audacious plan.
‘Dagmar needs you, Otts,’ she told him. ‘Pauly and Frau Fischer are really worried about her. She’s going crazy all cooped up and losing hope. She has to get out. She has to have some fun. You’re the only person who can do that for her so you really really have to start behaving yourself again and get them to trust you. Then they’ll let you go out of school, like the other boys, and you can start getting Dagmar out of herself.’
Otto certainly did not need telling twice. In an instant his entire demeanour altered.
‘Don’t you worry, Silks,’ he said with a broad smile, ‘you can rely on me!’
‘That’s great,’ Silke replied, her smile considerably less animated than Otto’s.
That same Sunday Paulus put the plan to Dagmar.
‘I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before,’ he said. ‘Ottsy gives you the perfect cover. You can be a German girl again and go where you please as long as you’re with him!’
At first the idea of going out amongst Nazis turned Dagmar white with terror. But very soon the excitement of the adventure overcame her fears and her spirits began visibly to rise.
‘Well, Otto
would
make rather a handsome beau,’ she conceded.
‘Try not to rub it in, Dags,’ Paulus said ruefully.
‘Silly!’ Dagmar replied with a happy tone that Paulus hadn’t heard her use in years. ‘You know I love you both.’
It was decided that Silke would take Dagmar with her to the very next Sunday tea at the Napola. Otto easily got permission to have an extra guest as girls were always in very short supply at the boarding school social functions. Of course Dagmar had no BDM uniform but the fact that she would be arriving as Silke’s friend would almost certainly be enough to ensure that no questions were asked.
The two girls travelled together across Berlin.
Having scarcely seen each other properly for a number of years they had very little to say to each other and conversation was very stilted. They tried to chat and joke a little about the old Saturday Club days, but apart from that shared history they had nothing else in common. They never had even before the Nazis, but now of course the gap between them was infinitely wider.
Spandau was at the very end of the line, after which they still had about a kilometre or so to complete the journey. Dagmar, who was wearing high heels, insisted on taking a taxi.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll pay,’ she said in answer to Silke’s doubtful look. ‘Mummy and I still have money, although they took a lot of it after … well … let’s say they fined my father for the inconvenience of murdering him.’
As they sat together in the taxi, Silke took Dagmar’s hand. Something she had not done since the days of children’s games.
‘I don’t know if I ever said,’ she whispered, ‘but what has happened to you is so terrible, Dagmar, and I’m so sorry. You know, about your dad and … well, about everything.’
Dagmar smiled.
‘Thank you, Silke,’ she said. ‘You didn’t say but I always knew you felt it. I may be mean sometimes but I’m not completely insensitive. Speaking of which, today for instance. I know how difficult this must be for—’
‘It’s fine,’ Silke said briskly, ‘absolutely fine. A really good plan. Pauly’s plans always are.’
Within a very few minutes they arrived at the grand gates of the Napola school with the huge wrought-iron eagle and swastika mounted upon them.
‘Oh God, I’m pretty nervous actually,’ Dagmar admitted. ‘I mean going in amongst all those Nazi boys.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ Silke assured her. ‘I’m absolutely sure of that.’
‘How can you be, Silks?’ Dagmar asked.
‘Dagmar, they may be Nazis. But they’re
boys
.’
Silke was right, of course. One glimpse of Dagmar at the school gates in her elegant, sophisticated, alluring grown-up clothes and she was the talk of the school.
Jungmann
Stengel, it seemed, had pulled off another coup, trading up from a nice-looking girl to a complete stunner. Certainly no one thought of asking such a beautiful creature for proof of her ancestry. Rather the excited boys would have queued up to lay down their lives for her.
Silke only accompanied Dagmar for one further Sunday before dropping out of the visits herself.
Her duty was done. Dagmar didn’t need her any more. Otto’s new companion was recognized and accepted by the school and had even been paid a toe-curlingly creepy compliment by the principal. Silke knew that no one would miss her and she couldn’t wait to bow out. She didn’t mind the other boys gawping at Dagmar but to see Otto doing it, panting and scampering about her like an eager puppy desperate to please, was hard for her to take.
Dagmar simply took over from Silke. More so in fact. Because whilst people merely
thought
that Silke had been Otto’s girlfriend, Dagmar immediately became it. And when she and Otto sat together beneath the oak tree looking over the soccer pitch they exchanged the kisses that Silke had longed would be hers.
Paulus’s plan worked perfectly. With Otto beside her Dagmar was now able to enjoy the kind of fun that was denied to other Jewish adolescents. Otto was sixteen and could apply for evenings out and also Saturday afternoons. During these times he took Dagmar to parks and to the zoo. They sat together in cafés and occasionally even went to bars, most proprietors being pretty lax about youthful drinking, particularly with such an attractive young couple.
Otto had no money himself but he had his military-style uniform and he had grown quite tall and very strong. Dagmar did have money and she was happy to spend it on those precious times when she was able to be a normal young person once again.
And of course Otto took Dagmar swimming, which was her greatest joy of all. Soon Dagmar forgot even to feel nervous as they bought their tickets to the baths. No attendant ever once asked the beautiful girl with the Napola boyfriend for identification. She worried sometimes of course that she would be recognized, but she had been withdrawn from public life for so long that most people’s memories of the heiress to Fischer’s department store fortune were of a girl of twelve or thirteen.
Frieda now got her news of Otto from Paulus who in turn heard it from Dagmar. Silke still visited the Stengels on a Sunday evening to hear the news also. Smiling hard at every tale of the fun that Otto and Dagmar were having together. Just as Paulus tried hard to deliver the second-hand stories with the same joy and enthusiasm with which Dagmar had told them to him.
‘They’re both really having fun,’ Paulus would say.
‘Which is great,’ Silke added.
And Frieda would look from one of them to the other and smile a sad little smile to herself.