Two Alone (30 page)

She laid her head on his chest and smoothed her hand over his stomach, combing through
t
he crinkled, damp hair.

"I
t
wasn't just me you withdrew from, was it?" Somehow she knew that this was the first time in a long time that Cooper had completed the love act.

"No."

"
It
wasn't because I might get pregnant, was it?"

"No, it wasn't."

"Why did you make love that way
,
Cooper?"

He opened his eyes. She stared down into them. They
w
er
e
guarded. He, who she had assumed was fearless, was afraid of her, a naked woman, lying helplessly beside him, u
t
terly fascinated by him and under his spell. Wha
t
threat could she possibly represent?

"Why did you impose that kind of discipline on
yourself?
" she asked gen
t
ly. "Tell me."

He stared at the ceiling. "There was a woman."

Ah,
the
woman,
Rusty
thought.

"Her name was Melody. I met her soon after I got back from Nam. I was messed up. Bitter. Angry. She—" he made a helpless gesture "—she put things back into perspective, gave focus to my life. I was attending college on the G
I
bill. We were going to get married as soon as I finished.
I
thought that everything was going well for us. It was."

He closed his eyes again and Rusty knew he was approaching the difficult part of the story. "Then she got pregnant. Without my knowledge, she had an abortion." His hands curled into fists and his jaw grew rigid wi
t
h fury.
Rusty
actually jumped when he turned to her abruptly.

"She killed my baby. After all the death I'd seen, she..." His breathing became so harsh that
Rusty
was afraid he'd go into cardiac arrest. She laid a comforting hand on his chest and softly spoke his name.

"I'm so sorry, Cooper, darling. I'm so sorry."

He breathed deeply, until he had filled his lungs with sufficient air. "Yeah."

"You've been angry ac her ever since."

"At first. But then I came to hate her
t
oo much
t
o be angry at her. I'd shared so many confidences with her. She knew what was going on inside my head, how I felt about things. She
’
d urged me to talk about the prison camp and everything that happened there."

"Did you feel that she abused that confidence?"

"Abused and betrayed it." With the pad of his thumb, he caught a tear rolling down Rusty's check and swept it away. "She'd held me in her arms while I cried like a baby, telling her about buddies I'd seen... killed," he finished in a hoarse whisper.

"I'd told her about the hell I went through to escape and then what I did to survive until I was rescued. Even after that, after I'd described how I'd lain in a heap of rotting, stinking corpses to keep from being recaptured—"

"Cooper, don't." Rusty reached for him and drew him close.

"She went out and had our baby destroyed. After I'd seen babies torn apart, probably had killed some myself, she—"

"Shh, shh. Don't."

Rusty cradled his head against her breasts and crooned to him as she smoothed his hair. Tears blurred her vision. She fel
t
his suffering, and wished she could take it all on herself. She kissed the crown of his head. "I'm sorry, my darling. So very sorry."

"I left Melody. I moved to the mountains, bought my livestock, built my house."

And a wall around your heart, Rusty thought sadly. No
wonder he'd spurned society. He'd been betrayed twice—once by his country, which didn't want to be reminded of its mistake, and then by the woman he had loved and trusted.

"You didn't take a chance on any woman getting pregnant by you again."

He worked his head free and looked into her eyes. "That's right. Not until now." He placed his hands on either side of her face. "Until you. And
I
couldn't stop myself from filling you." He kissed her hard.
"
I
wanted it to last forever."

Smiling, she turned her head and bit the m
e
a
t
y part of his hand just below his thumb. "I thought it was going to."

He smiled, too, looking boyishly pleased with himself. "Really?"

Rusty laughed. "Really."

H
e slid
his
hand between her thighs and worked his fingers
through the nest
of russe
t
curls before intimately palming her
sex.
"I left a special mark on you this time. You're carrying part of me inside you." He raised his head off the pillow and b
r
ushed his mouth across her kiss-swollen lips.

"That's what I wanted.
I
wouldn't have let you leave me this tune.

"Oh, no?" There was an arrogant, teasing glint in his eyes. "What would you have done?"

"I would have given you one hell of a fight. That's how much I wanted you. All of you."

He pulled her lower lip between his teeth and worried it deliriously with his tongue. "One of
the things
I
like most about you..." His mouth went for her neck.

"Yes?"

"Is tha
t
you always look like you've just been royally..." He finished his sentence with a gutter word that only he could make sound sexy.

"Cooper!" Pretending to be offended, Rusty sat back on her heels and placed her hands on her hips.

He laughed. The wonderful, rare sound of his laughter was so encouraging that she assumed an even prissier expression. He only laughed harder. His laughter was real, not tainted by cynicism. She wanted to draw it around her like a blanket. She-wanted to bask in it as one would the first hot day of summer. She'd made Cooper Landry laugh. Tha
t
was no small fear, particularly in the past few years. Probably few could lay claim to having made this man laugh.

His mouth was still split into a wide grin beneath his mustache. He mimicked her in an old maid's whine. "Cooper!"

Piqued by his imitation of her, she smacked his bare thigh.

"Hey
,
it's no
t
my fault that you've got bedroom hair and smoky brown eyes." He reached
out
and ran his thumb along her lower lip. "I can't help it if your mouth always looks recently kissed and begging for more; if your breasts ar
e
always aquiver."

"'Aquiver'?" she asked breathlessly as he cupped one.

"Hmm. Is it my fault that your nipples are always primed and ready?"

"In fact it is."

That, he liked. Smiling, he plucked a
t
the dusky pearl, rolling it gently between his fingers.

"Bur primed and ready for what, Cooper?"

He leaned forward and, using his lips and tongue, demonstrated.

Rusty felt the familiar sensations unwinding in her midsection like a spool of silk ribbon. Sighing, she clasped his head and

pushed it away from her. He looked at her in b
e
wildermen
t
, but didn't resis
t
as she pressed him back against
t
he pillows. "What are we doing?" he asked.

"I'm going to make love to you for a change."

"1
thought you just did."

She shook her tousled head. A
t
some point her ponytail had come down. "You made love to me." "What's the difference?"

Smiling a feline smile, her eyes full of promise, she stretched our alongside him and began nibbling his neck. "Wait and see,"

In the peaceful afterma
t
h,
t
h
e
y lay together, their arms and legs entangled. "I thought only hookers knew how to do that right."
H
is voice was still scratchy from crying out her name, and he barely had the energy to strum her spine wi
t
h his fingertips.

"Did I do i
t
right?"

He tilted his head back and gazed down at the woman who lay sprawled across his chest.
"
Don’t you
know?"

Her eyes were glazed with love as she looked up at him and shook her head with shy uncertainty.

"That's the first time you ever...?" She nodded yes. He hissed a soft curse and drew her up for a gentle, loving kiss.

"Yeah. You did it jus
t
fine," he said with a trace of humor when he finally released her lips. "Just fine."

After a long silence,
Rusty
asked him, "What kind of family life did you have?"

"Family life?" As he collected his
t
houghts, he absently rubbed his leg against her left one, ever careful not to bump the sore one. "It
’
s been so long ago
I
bare
l
y remember. Practically all I remember of my dad was
th
at he went to work every day. He was a salesman. His job finally caused a massive heart attack that killed him instantly.
I
was still in elementary school."

"Mother never got over being mad at him for dying prema
t
ur
ely
an
d leav
ing he
r
a
w
idow. She never got ove
r
bein
g
mad at me for...existing, I guess. Anyway, all I meant to her was a liability. She had to work to support us."

"She never remarried?"

"No."

His mother had probably blamed her blameless son for
t
hat, too. Rusty could paint in the numbered spaces and get
t
he complete picture. Cooper had grown up unloved. It was little wonder
th
at now, when a hand was extended to him in kindness, he bit it instead of accepting it. He didn't believe in human kindness and love. He'd never experienced them. His personal relationships had been fouled with pain, disillusionment, and betrayal.

"I joined the Marines as soon as I graduated from high school. Mother died during my first year in Nam. Breast cancer. She was the kind of woman who was too stubborn to have that lump checked before i
t
w
as
t
oo la
t
e."

Rusty stroked his chin with her thumbnail, occasionally dipping i
t
into the vertical cleft. She was filled wi
t
h remorse for the lonely, unloved child he'd been. Such unhapp
ine
ss. By comparison she'd had it so easy.

"My mother died, too."

"And then you lost your brother."

"Yes. Jeff."

"Tell me about him."

"He was terrific," she said with an affectionate smile, "
e
verybody liked him. He was friendly—the kind of person who never met a stranger. People were automatically drawn to him. He had outstanding leadership qualities. He could make people laugh. He could do every
t
hing."

"You've been reminded of that often enough."

Quickly her head popped up. "
W
hat's that supposed to mean?"

Cooper seemed to weigh the advisability of pursuing this conversation, but apparently decided in favor of it. "Doesn't your fa
t
her continually hold your brother up as an example for you to follow?"

"Jeff had a promising fu
t
ure in real esta
t
e. My father wants that for me, too."

"
But is
it
your
future he wants for you, or your brothers fu
t
ure?"

She disengaged herself and swung her legs over the side of the bed. "I don't know what you mean."

Cooper caught a handful of her hair to keep her from leaving the bed. He came up on his knees behind her where she sat on the edge of it. "Like hell you don't,
Rusty
. Everything you've said about your father and brother leads me
t
o believe that you're expected to fill Jef
f’
s shoes."