Twisted Roots (30 page)

"Okay."
"When I land and get the rental car. I'll call again. Have someone nearby who can give me clear directions to the Stanton farm. okay? We'll have to get things organized and turn right around. You understand?"
"Yes, Miguel."
'How is Linden doing now?"
"He's doing very well."
I
said.
"A journey like this could have been very traumatic for him."
"It wasn't,"
I
said. "You don't have to worry about him. Really." I wanted to add he was doing better than I was, but I didn't.
'All right. I'm hoping to be there in three to four hours, Hannah."
"Okay,"
I
said "I'm sorry."
"So am I," he said. "So am I. Just hang on and take care of yourself."
I hung up. A moment later I heard Mrs. Stanton's hurried footsteps. When she stepped into the kitchen, she had to catch her breath,
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"You'd better go upstairs to your uncle," she said. "Quickly!"

15
A More-Happy Birthday
.
Uncle Linden was standing outside of Bess's

bedroom, his ear against the door, which was now closed.
"What are you doing. Uncle Linden?" I asked.
He turned slowly, his eyes so distant they sent an electric surge of fear down my spine. He was more like
a
blind man, trying to understand from where my voice had come.
"Shhh," he said, bringing his finger to his lips. "Willow's sleeping. She's needs her rest."
"Oh, dear," Mrs. Stanton said, standing behind me on the stairway. "Why is he calling her Willow?"
"Did you close the door. Uncle Linden?"
"Of course. We've got to let her sleep. A pregnant woman needs her rest." he said.
"You see," Mrs. Stanton moaned. "He's not making any sense.
I'll
have to go get Charles."
"Wait," I pleaded. "Let me see what
I
can do first."
"But my Bess, she might be frightened."
"I think she's still asleep." I said. She probably doesn't know the door is closed and he's out here."
I gently turned him from the door. "Uncle Linden, you have to come away from here now. We're going downstairs. We'll be going home soon."
"No, I have to stand guard. I have to stay here. Thatcher might return and annoy her."
'Thatcher can't return. He's gone for good. Uncle Linden. Don't worry. Come along. We want to rest before dinner. We have a long journey ahead of us. Please come with me,' I pleaded, taking his hand.
He started to pull it away, but I held it tightly.
"Uncle Linden, think, think!" I urged, pumping his arm with every word, trying to shake him out of his trance. "You're here with me. Hannah. You're not in Joya del Mar. It's years and years later. Uncle Linden. I've already been born. You don't have to worry."
He turned back to the closed door. I tugged harder on his arm.
"Look at me!" I said sharply. "Look at me now. Uncle Linden," I demanded.
He turned and gazed into my face. "You see it's Hannah. Hannah!" 'Hannah?"
"Come along. Uncle Linden. You're tired. You have to rest yourself. Remember how far we have come. Please," I said, still holding tightly to his hand.
Like someone whose blood had drained from his head and then started to slowly return, his face regained color, his eyes became less distant.
"Hannah?"
"Yes, it's Hannah." I said a little softer. calmer. "I'm here with you. Come along. Uncle Linden. You'll be fme. Everyone will be fine."
"Our Hannah?"
"Yes, Uncle Linden."
"Oh." He nodded, blinking fast, and then rubbing his forehead with his free hand. "I had such a bad dream." He looked around. "Where are we again?"
"We're at Mrs. Stanton's farmhouse in South Carolina.
Remember? Our rented motor home broke down, and she was nice enough to take us in?"
"Oh, yes. right. I must have fallen asleep." he said. "I feel like I was walking in a dream,"
"I think you were," I said, breathing with relief. I looked back at Mrs. Stanton and nodded. "He's all right now. Come on. Uncle Linden. Let's rest up downstairs."
I tugged him gently and he followed.
"Oh." he said when he saw Mrs. Stanton standing there on the stairs. "I hope
I
haven't caused any problems for you. I had a bad dream.
I
think."
"It's all right," she said. "You should rest. Go on down to the sitting room and relax, Mr.
Montgomery. I'm preparing us a nice dinner."
"Thank you." He looked at me. "Let's get out of this nice lady's way. Hannah," he said as if I were the one holding us back from doing that.
I smiled. "Right, Uncle Linden."
I continued down the stairway with him while Mrs. Stanton went in to check on Bess. She joined us in the sitting room to say Bess was resting
comfortably. She knew nothing of what had happened outside her door. "Is he all right?" she asked.
"Fine," I said, looking at Uncle Linden, who had his head back on the big easy chair and his eyes closed,
"I'll see to dinner."
"I'm sorry about what happened."
"It just frightened me a little. I'm sure he's all right." she added.
I
wasn't and
I
was now more anxious than ever that Miguel would arrive on time. It had been wrong to take Uncle Linden away. It was unfair to him. unfair to expect that Heyden and I could just drag him out to the world without all his support facilities and expect him to adjust and be successful. Mommy was right. She was always right.
I
remained as close to Uncle Linden as I could right up until Mrs. Stanton began to set the table for dinner. He went in and out of dozing, and for a few moments every time he opened his eyes. he looked confused. When he saw me, he calmed down and closed his eyes again.
"You don't have to help me." she said. "Stay with him. I can see it makes you nervous. darlin'."
I saw she was setting the table for four, but it wasn't because she anticipated Bess coming down to dinner. She went out to find Chubs and ask him to join us. I knew it made her feel better to have him nearby, and I didn't blame her for that. I felt better, too.
Although my nerves made me feel there were a dozen grasshoppers in my stomach. I ate Mrs. Stanton's delicious dinner. Uncle Linden returned to his charming self, complimenting her on everything and making it seem as if
I
were the one who had experienced the dark dreams and not him. He and Chubs even had a conversation about growing peaches.
About an hour after we had finished dinner. Miguel called and I was able to put Chubs on the phone with him so he could give him very specific directions to the farm,
"He should be here within the hour.' Chubs told me. Uncle Linden had gone out to sit on the portico.
"Who are we waiting far again?" he asked when
I
went out to join him.
"Miguel. Mommy's husband."
"Oh. yes. I like him. He's a college teacher. right?"
"Yes, he is."
I
said. What was it that caused him to move in and out of memories, falling back into the past and then returning like someone who had gone under water and had fought his way back up to breathe again? There was still so much I didn't know about our family's past, but after being here nearly a day and seeing what pain and tragedy could cause. I wondered if I really wanted to know. Maybe like Uncle Linden. I was better off with some selective amnesia.
I
was never so happy to see anyone as I was to see Miguel when he drove up to the Stanton farm with Ricardo. He had never hesitated to hold me and kiss me when I was a little girl, but as I grew older. I felt his restraint. Right now all I wanted to do was crash through it and have him embrace me. He did so willingly.
"Are you all right?" he asked. "Yes."
"Hello, Linden." he said, extending his hand to him. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine. Miguel." He squinted at the rented car. "I was hoping to see Willow with you."
"Oh, she's anxious to see you, too, but she wasn't up to this sort of trip. I'm sure you understand." he told him.
"Of course," Uncle Linden said,
Mrs. Stanton came out. and
I
introduced her to Miguel. Ricardo joined with Chubs and went to the motor home.
"Thank you far offering your hospitality and home to my daughter," Miguel said. Long ago he had dropped the word step from (laughter. and I couldn't have been more happy about it than
I
was at the moment.
"She's a delightful young lady. I'm sure everything will be fine."
"I am. too," Miguel said. He turned to Uncle Linden. "Shall we start back. Linden?"
"What's that? Oh. yes. I suppose we should." He rose. but then hesitated and looked at the front door and Mrs. Stanton. "I'd like to say goodbye to Bess," he said.
Mrs. Stanton looked at me with surprise and concern. I wasn't expecting him to make that request, either,
"I'll come along," I said. She nodded and led him and me back into the house and up the stairs. She paused at the open bedroom door and stepped back to permit Uncle Linden to enter. He approached Bess slowly.
"I have to go now, Bess." he said. She was staring ahead, but turned to look up at him. I remained back in the doorway, out of sight.
"I hope you'll be feeling better soon. I wanted to thank you for being my model. I promise I'll finish the picture and get it to you soon."
She stared at him, her face unmoving.
"Maybe some day I'll return as well and we'll take that walk. okay?"
She nodded.
I
felt such a weight in my chest. They were looking at each other over chasms of emotional turmoil. Something desperate in them both was trying to touch, but there were so many obstacles in the way.
How sad and unfair
, I thought. Uncle Linden knelt down and kissed her quickly on the cheek. Then he turned from her and started for the doorway.
"Wait!" she cried.
He turned back.
"Don't forget." she said.
"No. I won't. That's a promise." he told her, "And I'm someone who keeps his promises," he added proudly.
He walked out and I started after him. Mrs. Stanton followed.
At the front doorway she hugged me.
"God bless you, darlin'," she said.
I
held on to her for a long moment, and then I joined Uncle Linden in the rented car. Just as Miguel gat behind the wheel. Uncle Linden cried. "Wait!"
"What is it. Linden?"
"My picture," he said. He started to get out,
"I brought it to the motor home already, Uncle Linden."
"Oh?"
"Ricardo will bring back all your things. Linden." Miguel promised. He has the motor home's owner's address from the paperwork."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely," Miguel said. "I made sure to tell him."
"I hope so. I wouldn't want to lose that picture," Uncle Linden said.
Again I wondered what it was he saw in it. but
I
said nothing. Ricardo had already started away.
I
prayed he would remember.
As Miguel began to turn the car dawn the driveway, Chubs stepped out and held up his big hand to wave goodbye. I leaned out of the window and shouted. "Thank you. Mr. Dawson. Take care of them."
A smile spread across his face, and then in moments, he was left behind us in the darkness, along with the farmhouse and all that had happened.
It was as Miguel had described, a hard trip back. We nearly missed one connection, and we were delayed almost two hours on the final leg of the journey due to some scheduling problems.
I
dazed on and off on the planes and was actually asleep when we touched down in the West Palm Beach airport. Uncle Linden slept all the time, even when we were waiting in the airports.
Miguel thought it would be better if we took him to his residency first.
Met him readjust. Hannah." he said. "Mrs. Robinson will help him, and then we'll bring him to the house in a day or so. I promise," he added with conviction when I raised my eyebrows with skepticism.
Surprisingly, when we arrived at the residency, Uncle Linden looked pleased. He got out quickly and, in his haste, almost forgot to say goodbye to me,
"And don't forget to came see me," he said. Mrs. Robinson greeted him at the door with a big welcome, as did one of the other residents. Seconds later we pulled away,
"We found the letter you left behind," Miguel said. "Willow has kept it beside her all this time. She has read it so often, the paper is beginning to shred.' He shook his head. You can't imagine how hard it was."
I swallowed dawn a throat lump. "Does she hate me. Miguel?"
'Hardly," he replied. "Although she is about as fragile as that woman you described at the farm. You both have to be considerate of each other. That's all the advice I'm going to give," he concluded.
Despite all the dark corners of mystery and sadness that still lingered in Joya Del Mar.
I
felt a surge of true joy when I saw it before me again. for to me, it had always been home. Never in more splendor with its vibrant flowers and beautiful grounds, its sparkling fountains and glistening stucco and glass. I felt as if it were smiling at me when we drove in and up to the main house.
I got out slowly, my body tired, my emotions tugged and stretched to their breaking point. Lila greeted me at the door, her face full of delight.
"I have a nice hot lunch waiting for you when you're ready," she told me.
I
thanked her. but
I
went looking for Mommy. She wasn't in her bedroom. where
I
had expected she would be, and she wasn't anywhere in the house. Miguel had gone into his office. He had decided to step away and not even be an observer. Maybe wisely, I thought.
Finally
I
went out to the rear loggia. I looked down at the pool patio and
saw
her sitting with her back to the house, staring out at the water. She was wearing the shawl she had once given her mother. I started for her slowly, my heart pounding like the surf itself. The day had begun with an almost cloudless sky and now had some puffy globs of marshmallow being carried from east to west on the shoulders of the wind high above us. A sea breeze played impishly with the strands of Mommy's hair. She didn't seem to notice or care. She was so still.
I
thought perhaps she had fallen asleep.
When I reached her side.
I
stood there quietly, searching for a way to begin. Somehow, even though
I
had walked on air. she knew I was beside her.
"I remember the first time I met my mother as my mother, when my true identity was finally revealed," she began, not looking at me, her eyes fixed on the ocean. She could have been talking to herself. "I wanted to burst right out and ask. How could you leave me behind? How could you close the door and forget me? How could someone who was part of you, who had came from your blood and your every breath, be forgotten? I wanted to love her, but at the same time. I wanted to hate her.
"Her first reply came from her eyes. The pain was there in full brightness. Of course, after what she had been through here and at the clinic, she was afraid she wouldn't be able to care properly for a child, a baby. It had been the birth of Linden that had sent her reeling back into her darkness. And then there was concern for my father and far all the possible consequences of their forbidden love. She comforted herself with the knowledge that he would be my father, if not in name, at least in action, providing for me, watching over me. She had no idea what hell my stepmother would create for me.
"What was clear to me was the realization that whatever were her faults and mistakes, she was my mother and I was her daughter, and in the end, in the final moments of this often difficult life, we would not escape that, nor would we want to deny it We would never stop needing each other really. We could pretend we were beyond all that, perhaps, but as oldfashioned as it might sound, the tie that binds would not be unbroken. What we realized, she and I, was that forgiveness was everything, that love grew out of it and was nourished by it.