Twisted Heart (27 page)

‘So what will you do in Paris?’

‘Play piano, go to college and study music, lots of things. You can visit me if you like.’

‘Cool.’ We’d wandered from the social centre along a track between more braziers, right to the water’s edge, where we watched the reflection of the moon and stars in the lake. The conversation drifted as always through topics we both enjoyed – art galleries, video installations, European culture in general – until Ziegler strode down to the lake shore and interrupted us.

‘Jean-Luc, your stepfather wants you to dance with one of the guests from Bitterroot,’ he snapped, plainly ignoring me.

‘Tell him later.’ Jean-Luc turned his back on the messenger to lead me further along the frozen shore.

‘Now,’ Ziegler insisted. Light and shadow from a nearby brazier played over his face and toned torso. His eyes were narrowed; he stood hands on hips.

My companion sighed. ‘You want to know why I’m leaving, Tania? This is why,’ he confided with a sullen jerk of his head towards Ziegler. He spoke so that only I could hear. ‘This is the way it is at New Dawn.’

And the two guys left me, their feet crunching through the snow. I breathed in the night air and followed more slowly, deciding as I went that I quickly needed to rejoin Orlando and together we would team up with Grace, Jude and Aaron. It was time we tracked Holly down, no question.

Then, as if all this was scripted and he was right on cue, Jarrold made one of his entrances out of nowhere. He stepped out from behind a basket of burning logs – out of the darkness into the flickering red light, his face cut and bruised.

I stopped, turned around, looked for help. Fifty metres from where we stood, the social centre with its flickering, multi-coloured lights was noisy and buzzing. Out here in the dark, no one could see or hear us.

Small waves rippled and washed against the pebbles. Tall, dark juniper trees stood sentry on the hillside.

‘Come with me,’ Jarrold said.

H
e took me up through the deep shadows cast by the trees towards the cabin he shared with Channing at the end of the trail. ‘Don’t try running back to the party,’ he warned. ‘And don’t be scared, I’m not going to hurt you.’

‘OK, but I still don’t trust you.’ I made this clear as I tried to figure out what Jarrold wanted. The fact that he wasn’t in costume confirmed my guess that he’d been excluded from the party.

‘What did I do? Why are you pushing me away?’

I thought of Orlando dancing with Aurelie back in the social centre and I managed to stand firm. ‘You know what you did – breaking into my house, the stupid note. I never invited you into my life, you just stormed in. So let’s go ahead and get this over with. Tell me what you want.’ I shivered in the cold wind that blew down the valley.

With a quick toss of his head and a clicking sound with his tongue, Jarrold strode on. ‘I have something to tell you – something you need to know.’

‘Stop right there!’ If this was more about the way he felt towards me, another chance to get me alone, he’d better know I wasn’t about to play his game. ‘Orlando’s here. He’s in there with Aurelie.’

‘Scary!’ He turned and laughed in my face. ‘I’ve seen your guy, Tania. What does he weigh – 160, 170 pounds? Do you seriously believe he would want to fight with me?’

Angrily I turned to head back down the hillside but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back so that I had a close-up view of the swelling on his bottom lip and the cut under his right eye. ‘OK, so I have feelings for you and I always will – you already know that. But don’t think of me as some loser who goes down on his knees and comes crying after you more than once.’

‘So what is this about?’ I said, not knowing whether to believe him but wrenching my wrist free and rubbing my skin where his fingers had gripped me.

‘Things have moved on. I know now I can’t get out of here just by walking away. They’ll come after me wherever I run. Have you any idea how that feels?’

‘Actually, I do,’ I answered quietly. Running was one of my specialities.

Jarrold acknowledged my confession by a slight, conspiratorial raising of his eyebrows. ‘So now I’ve changed tactics – I want to dish the dirt, dig deep and really expose what goes on here.’

‘And I’m going to help you go public?’ I shook my head in disbelief.

‘Yeah, you are! If it’s not you, Tania, who else? It’s not going to be Kaylee or Regan or any of those guys. They’re victims of the system too, just as much as me, but they know they have to keep their heads down and serve their time without complaining. If not, they end up the way I am now.’

‘Try Jean-Luc,’ I suggested. ‘He hates the place as much as you do.’

Jarrold nodded. ‘You’re right, but Amos is his stepfather so there’s family loyalty in the mix. Plus, he doesn’t have the guts. No – you’re the only one, Tania.’

‘So what is it you want people to know?’ Gradually my shock and anger died away and Jarrold and I were sharing confidences. He was starting to get through again.

‘This!’ he cried, facing me and pointing to his damaged face. ‘Plus, the whole deal – the brainwashing, the psychological BS, the dropping your burden at the gate, heart at peace shit.’

‘The Great Creator?’

‘All of that. Amos built this whole community on a lie.’ Jarrold had raised his voice and tilted his head back in exasperation. It exposed his Adam’s apple and the muscles in his neck. ‘You have to tell it like it really is – that they call it therapy but it’s not. It’s Ziegler controlling every move we make, Amos spouting spiritual stuff that no one believes.’

‘What else? Tell me – I’m listening.’

Jarrold’s voice softened to not much more than a whisper. ‘It’s sticking the Outsider label on to you, taking away your clothes at night, keeping you here until they break you. And listen to me, Tania – did they tell you about New Dawn PCS?’

‘No. What’s that?’ The urgency in Jarrold’s eyes was making the hairs on my neck stand up.

‘PCS – Positive Control System. Quote from the Guiding Principles; “If talking doesn’t lead to compliance, it is legitimate to employ appropriate physical force.” Unquote.’

‘“Appropriate physical force” – what does that mean exactly?’

‘This!’ Springing forward, Jarrold seized my wrist a second time and bent it back with a sharp, strong movement.

‘Ouch!’ I caved in and let him force my captured arm behind my back, bending my elbow so that my fingertips touched my shoulder. ‘Let go of me, Jarrold.’

‘Or this!’ Moving smoothly behind me, he put an arm lock around my neck. ‘Or this!’ Releasing me a second time, he stepped back across my path and aimed a karate kick at my stomach, missing by not much more than a centimetre. ‘It’s any type of physical force – including what you saw early this morning.’

‘Stop!’ I raised my hands to my ears. ‘I’ve heard enough.’

Jarrold stepped back and let out a long sigh. Then he stood arms by his side, staring at me as if he was a prisoner in the dock waiting for a verdict.

‘OK, I believe you,’ I whispered.

His eyes lit up and he sprang forward. ‘You’ll do it? You’ll bring the walls crashing down around Amos?’

‘No, wait. Listen. I can’t. Not until we achieve what we came here to do.’

A wind moaned through the trees, branches creaked. ‘What is that exactly?’ Jarrold asked, eyes still gleaming earnestly, a frown knotting his forehead.

‘To rescue Holly,’ I whispered, turning away from him and walking quickly down the hill.

I got away from Jarrold and back to the party in time to see the Ghost Dancers lead the guests out from the social centre on to the lake shore. In the light of the braziers they formed a circle with a drummer in the middle and began to move in slow, rhythmic steps, red flames reflected in the shining silver stars which decorated their tunics.

‘How cool is that!’ a voice said from the shadows.

I turned and at last I saw the girl we’d come looking for.

‘Holly!’ It took me a while to recognize her because her long fair hair was scraped back and her face half hidden by a white mask that covered her eyes. But when I saw Channing in his executioner’s mask lurking behind, I knew it was her.

‘The dancers,’ she said, as if we were bumping into each other at the tennis club or at the end of our driveways. ‘They’re stepping into the past, searching for their ancestors who lived here by Prayer River, before the lake was made.’

‘Holly!’ I cried. ‘At last! We’ve been looking everywhere. Where have you been?’

‘Here,’ she told me. ‘Where else?’

‘Whoa, it’s good to see you!’ As the dancers circled and began to whirl on the spot, raising a chant and watched by around fifty guests, I felt a rush of relief. ‘You look fantastic. I love your costume!’

‘Mexican Indian,’ she explained. ‘They wore this type of cotton toga tied at one shoulder, with masks or veils, fans made of feathers. Actually, they put silver rings through their noses but I didn’t go that far.’

‘No really, it’s good to see you,’ I repeated. ‘You wouldn’t believe how we stressed over you – the hypothermia and all.’

‘But you already knew I was fine.’ I began to pick up that the casual tone was fake, that Holly’s voice was higher than usual, and I noticed a nervous monotone. I looked more closely at her face, but her turquoise-studded mask hid whatever expression she had in her eyes. ‘You saw me playing snooker with the guys here. I told you I wanted to stay, so what’s the problem?’

You’re deep in denial, I thought. You’re not the Holly I know. You’re blanking me the way Grace did. This is too scary! ‘Grace and Jude are here. Aaron too,’ I told her, trying to keep my voice steady. ‘They all want to talk with you.’

‘Maybe later – after the dance,’ she said, turning to check with Channing.

Rewind to Grace and Ezra – the hunky guy with hypnotic powers. Remember this was exactly how Grace turned her back on Jude and swooned, fell, collapsed zombie-like into Ezra’s arms. Well, here we had an action replay with Holly and Channing.

‘We’re busy, we have things to do,’ she explained as they began to move away.

‘What things?’ Now that I’d finally found her and seen the way she was acting, I was desperate to keep hold of her. ‘Chill. Stay here with me.’

‘Sorry, Tania, we’re on duty. It’s time to fetch more logs for the braziers then we have to check on the drinks situation.’

‘You heard what I said – Aaron’s here.’

For the first time she hesitated but Channing stepped right in with, ‘Holly, Aaron can wait. I need you to come with me.’

She winced and seemed about to resist, or did I imagine that part?

‘For Antony’s celebration,’ he reminded her as he took her firmly by the arm.

‘Oh cool, the celebration!’ She was back to the manic monotone. ‘We can’t miss that part. Come on, Tania, come with us!’

I had no choice so I followed them across the snowy ground until we reached the area where the Ghost Dancers whirled and wailed. They danced to the beating drum with heads bowed and shoulders hunched, stamping their feet and setting up their high-pitched, desperate cries.

Amongst the guests standing at the far side I made out Orlando with Jude, Aaron and Grace and I was about to slip away and join them, tell them that I’d finally located Holly when the dancers broke their circle and gave way for Ziegler and Amos. Immediately everyone fell silent and the leader of the New Dawn community got ready to make his birthday speech.

‘This is the day of my birth,’ he began in his solemn, preachy voice. He held his arms wide and looked up at the moon and stars. ‘We are gathered here at New Dawn. We walk together. Our hearts are turned to each other in the sight of the Great Creator.’

He stood like a man crucified on a cross, arms spread eagled.

‘We are changed from our old ways, and the change comes willingly from within,’ he continued. ‘We begin anew.’

He speaks and only I hear the wind whistle through the trees, across the lake.

‘Behold!’ the white-haired warrior addresses his people. Embers from the dying fire cast flickering light over his sorrowing features. ‘I am old. My sun is set.’

Logs shift, red sparks rise and fade.

At our backs the winter wind blows. Ripples disturb the dark water.

‘Once I was a warrior,’ the old man sighs. ‘My people were around me like the grass on the prairie, like the leaves on the trees. Now men come on horseback and seize our land that the Great Creator gave us. Our people die in the snow. They pass over but their spirits live on in the mountains and beneath the rivers and lakes.’

Suddenly, as he speaks, the rough water parts and the creature rises. A great cry of fear goes up. Snake-headed, with a forked tongue, he towers over us and spreads his wings – black wings without feathers. His cold green eyes shine bright as the stars in the heavens.

The old man on the shore keeps his arms outstretched. He doesn’t cower as the creature rises from the lake, doesn’t resist as it sinks its fangs into his flesh.

Black water rises, the lake bursts its banks. A thousand double-headed, emerald serpents swarm from its icy depths. The black creature turns and plunges back into the lake with the old man hanging limp in his jaws.

I was in the grip of cold, cold fear, knowing I was at a party in the presence of my bitter and twisted dark angel, seeing visions, feeling time melt, stepping into an evil world without boundaries.

There was a time on Black Rock earlier this summer … a different party. I took a sharp intake of breath and glanced at Holly, who had taken off her mask and was staring enraptured at Amos, drinking in every word. Her eyes were wide and unblinking.

We were nearer to the end than I’d expected. Holly was ready to enter into her own ceremony and be led on to the dark side. Her soul would part from her body and we’d lose her for ever. We had to act.

‘We are changed, we are departed from the old ways,’ Amos intoned. ‘And we give thanks that our hearts are at peace.’

A murmur rose from the Ghost Dancers, who had formed a semicircle behind him and Ziegler. ‘Our hearts are at peace,’ they chanted.