Twins Under His Tree (7 page)

Lily talked very fast when she was nervous, and that's what she was doing now. Her last comment led him to wonder if she was looking for an excuse not to go. Was it because she was still uncomfortable since their kiss? He'd find out shortly.

Lily gave Ellie a list of instructions along with phone numbers, then hiked the strap of her purse over her
shoulder, took a last look at the monitor, blew a kiss to the image of her daughters and went out the door.

On the drive to the lake they didn't talk, but rather enjoyed the peaceful scenery—ranches and cotton fields that spread as far as the eye could see, tumbleweeds rolling by.

After he turned off the main road, down a gravel lane, and bumped over a dusty area used as the parking space for the concert, Lily finally said, “I think I'd forgotten how green everything is at this time of year, how spring smells, how the sky turns purple and orange at sunset. In some ways, I feel like I've been locked in a closet since last summer, not really seeing what was around me. Except the twins, of course.”

“You've faced a lot of change in the past ten months.”

She lowered her window and took a huge breath of outside air as the May breeze tossed her hair. “I don't want to go back into that closet again.”

“Then don't. You have help now. While you're on leave, take some time for yourself, too. Figure out who you are again in your new life.”

Turning to him, she reached for his arm, and he guessed she didn't even realize she'd done that. “You've been through this, haven't you?” she asked.

Her fingers on his forearm seemed to send fire through his body. Trying to smother it, he responded roughly, “You know I have. I'm not sure major life change is anything anyone welcomes, especially when it's borne from tragedy.”

He gently tugged away from her touch. “Come on. Let's go to this concert.”

His body still racing with adrenaline from their
contact, Mitch pulled a blanket from the backseat. They headed toward the people gathering in a large pavilion. They didn't see anyone they knew as Mitch dropped the blanket on one of the park benches facing the bandstand. The sides of the pavilion would block the wind and Lily could always wrap herself in the blanket if she got cold.

Their shoulders brushed. Mitch considered moving away, but didn't. Still, he was glad they hadn't recognized anyone. He didn't want Lily having second thoughts about coming. Something told him Ellie would be grilling her when she got back, and she'd have plenty of second thoughts then. He was just glad she'd accepted his invitation tonight, even if it was only to escape her figurative closet for a little while.

The quartet that performed with oboe, bass, clarinet and guitar played instrumental versions of popular songs. The crowd didn't grow much larger as Mitch was sure it would have if this had been a country-and-western or bluegrass band, or even an oldies night. But it suited his purpose to be here tonight with Lily, to listen to calm and easy music so she could relax. Even when she called home, no worry lines fanned her brow as Ellie reassured her that her girls were fine.

When Lily recognized a song, she hummed along. Her face was in profile as she gazed toward the lake, and he could study her without being afraid she'd catch him. Her hair waved in gentle curls under the barrette. Her turned-up nose was so recognizable on Sophie and Grace. Lily's bangs were long, brushed to one side, her brows a shade darker than her hair as they drew together when she concentrated on the music. She'd never worn
much makeup, but tonight he noticed a sheen of gloss on her lips.

He could watch her all night and not tire of her expressions, the tilt of her head, the slant of her cheeks. He felt desire grip him again.

At that moment, she turned away from the music toward him…as if she wanted to sneak a peek at
his
expression. They both froze, their gazes locked, their bodies leaning just a little closer until the press of their shoulders was noticeable. Mitch reminded himself that there were so many reasons to keep away from Lily.

The music ended and the quartet announced a break.

Not moving away, Lily asked, “What do you think?”

About her? About the night? About the music? Which was the question to answer?

“My mother would have called them a dance band.”

Lily blinked as if she hadn't expected that at all. But then she rallied. “Did she like to dance?”

Letting out a silent sigh of relief, Mitch leaned back so the pressure between their shoulders eased. “She didn't go out dancing, if that's what you mean. She didn't date. She always told me she didn't have time. She'd say, ‘Who could work and have time for a man, too?'”

“A modern philosophy if I ever heard one,” Lily joked.

Mitch chuckled. “Maybe so. But once in a while, she'd put on the radio and I'd catch her dancing around the kitchen. She always got embarrassed, but I could tell that if she'd had the time and a partner, she'd be good at it.”

To his surprise, Mitch felt his phone vibrate against his hip. When he checked the caller ID, he recognized the number of a friend, Tony Russo. “I should take this,” he said.

“Go ahead. We can go back to your SUV. I really should be getting home.”

Because of that pulsating moment when he'd almost kissed her again? “You're sure?”

“Yes.”

The certainty in her answer told him she didn't want to take the chance of staying longer, the chance that darkness and a starry sky might urge them to become more intimate.

 

A few minutes later, Lily stood beside Mitch at his SUV, wondering why she had agreed to come with him tonight. This seemed so much like a date and it just couldn't be! She'd known right away Ellie didn't approve when she'd told her where she was going.

She had to ask herself…would Troy approve of her being here with Mitch tonight? Troy's approval still mattered to her. She fingered her wedding ring, still feeling married.

Inhaling the scents of spring on the wind, she attempted to stay in the moment. She exhaled confusion and loss, in favor of life and music and the sliver of moon above. She was aware of Mitch's conversation, his deep laugh. He asked about someone named Jimmy and reported he'd gotten an email from Matt last week.

She was learning Mitch had more facets than she'd ever imagined. He had depth she'd never known about. He had a past he didn't want to talk about.

Now, however, when he ended his call, he smiled at
her. That smile both comforted her and made her breath hitch!

“An old friend?” she guessed, taking the safe route.

“Yes, Tony served with me in Iraq.”

Surprised he was forthcoming about that, she asked, “Is he coming for a visit?”

“You heard me mention the bed-and-breakfast.”

She nodded.

“Every year, the first weekend in December, I get together with servicemen I knew in Iraq. We alternate locations and their families come, too. This year it's my turn to host.”

“What a wonderful idea!”

“We usually start planning this time of year to get the best airfares and accommodations. We have a money pool so if someone can't afford to come, the cash is there to draw on.”

“How long does your reunion last?”

“Friday to Sunday. My house will be home base on Saturday. Do you have any ideas to occupy kids?”

“Besides enlisting someone to play Santa Claus?” she joked. “I used to do some face painting.”

“You're kidding.”

“No. I'm
not
just a doctor. I have an artistic bent.”

He laughed. “That would be perfect.”

A bit of moonlight drifted over them as they stood close. The look in Mitch's eyes was recognizable to her. He'd had that same look before he'd kissed her outside her bedroom.

When he reached out and stroked her cheek, she didn't pull away. She couldn't. There was something about Mitch that drew her to him, that made her want to
forget her inhibitions, her idea of propriety, her sadness and loss.

“Lily,” he murmured as the stars bore witness, as the moon seemed to tilt, as the ground trembled under her feet. The touch of his fingers on her face was filled with an aching longing.

But then he dropped his hand to his side and opened the passenger door. He didn't have to say anything and neither did she. They knew they couldn't kiss again. If they did, they might not stop there.

Ellie, Sophie and Grace were waiting for her. She didn't want to be any more confused when she walked in that door than she already was now.

T
ime rolled by so fast, Lily could hardly count the days. She spent a lot of time thinking about Mitch, of how he'd touched her face at the lake. That night they'd silently but tacitly backed away from each other. Because of Ellie? Because they both feared their feelings were inappropriate?

The last week in May, Lily pushed Sophie and Grace's stroller into the office suite that was still familiar to her. Yet when she looked around at the sea-foam-green furniture, the rose carpeting and the green-and-mauve wallpaper, she didn't feel as if she
did
belong any more. She'd only been away three months, yet it seemed like a lifetime.

“This is where I work,” she told Ellie, motioning to the reception area, the glass window behind which
their receptionist Maryanne sat, the hall leading to exam rooms, office suites and the lab.

“It's really kind of…cozy,” Ellie remarked as if she was surprised. “I think I expected white walls and tile and a sterile atmosphere.”

“We try to keep it relaxed,” Lily explained. “The couples and women who come to us are stressed enough. The more relaxed we can keep the process, the better.”

“How many doctors work here?”

“Four, as well as two nurse-practitioners, two techs and our receptionist.”

Lily rolled the stroller up to the receptionist's window.

Maryanne slid the glass open and grinned at her. “We miss you, Dr. Wescott,” she said to Lily.

“I miss all of you, too,” Lily returned, meaning it. Helping other women have babies was important to her, and even more so now, since she knew the joy of her twins.

She introduced Ellie.

Maryanne came out of her cubicle to coo over the babies. “They're adorable. I'm so glad you brought them in. And at just the right time. Everybody's on their lunch break. Go on back to the lounge.”

Ellie took a peek down the hall. “Maybe I shouldn't go with you. I don't want to interrupt anything.”

“Don't be silly,” Lily said. “The practice is usually closed from twelve to one every day. That's why I was glad when we finished with Tessa right on time. I know Hillary will want to meet you. When I had a checkup with her, I told her about your baby store and your cus
tomized outfits. She has a one-year-old. She could be your first paying customer in Sagebrush.”

Although Lily had attempted to prepare herself to see Mitch again, she didn't feel ready. Not after their awkward parting the evening of the concert.

As soon as she pushed open the door to the lounge and saw Mitch sitting at the table with Hillary and Jon, she was tossed back to that night, standing close to him by his SUV, the heat of his fingers a scalding impression on her cheek.

Mitch stood as soon as he spotted her and Ellie, the white lab coat he wore giving him the professional appearance that had been so familiar to her before the night of the banquet, before Grace and Sophie had been born.

The twins were the center of attention now as everyone crowded around. Lily was glad for that, relieved to be able to introduce Ellie to her colleagues, grateful that no one could see how being in the same room with Mitch affected her. Lily couldn't believe it herself. Maybe she just didn't want to believe it.

What kind of woman was she? She'd loved her husband, loved him to the moon and back. He'd only been gone for ten months. Many nights she still cried herself to sleep, missing him, needing him, longing for him. Her reaction to Mitch didn't make sense. Not at all. Before the twins were born, she'd never looked at him as anything but a colleague. But now, as everyone babbled to the babies and chatted politely with Ellie, Mitch's gaze passed over Lily's lilac top and slacks then swiftly returned to her face. His appraisal left her a little short of breath.

Hurriedly, she ducked her head and bent to scoop
Sophie from the stroller. “I don't know what I'd do without Ellie,” she told everyone. “I seem to need six hands when these two are crying at the same time.”

“So when are you coming back?” Hillary asked, her short chestnut hair fringing her face.

“Probably in November,” she answered, not knowing what the next months would bring.

“You take your time deciding,” Jon said. He was tall and lean with narrow black glasses that made him look scholarly.

Hillary asked, “May I hold Sophie?”

“Sure.”

Hillary took the baby and settled her in the crook of her arm, looking down on her with the affection moms feel for kids. “I believe these little girls are going to be petite.”

“Maybe. Or they could eventually grow as tall as Troy.” Lily felt the need to mention his name, to bring him into the conversation.

Jon leaned a little closer to her. “How are you doing, really?”

“I'm okay. It's just the world's very different without Troy in it. Some days I expect that. Other days I expect him to come walking through the door, pick up Grace and Sophie, to figure out which one will look for his approval and which one won't.”

Hillary had obviously overheard. She said, “I'll always remember Troy, Lily. I really cherish the table he made for me. It's absolutely beautiful craftsmanship.”

Lily vividly remembered the piece of Troy's unfinished furniture still in storage. In fact, he'd been in the last stages of completing the plant stand she'd asked him to make when he was deployed. So much was unfinished
and Lily didn't know how to complete the tapestry of the life that had been hers and Troy's.

Mitch had heard their conversation, too, and turned away, crossing to the refrigerator, closing the top on a juice bottle and setting it inside. His actions were slow and deliberate. She knew she'd brought up Troy to put a boundary around herself again, a boundary that would keep Mitch out. Why had she dropped in today? To catch up with old friends? Or to see
him?

As Hillary moved away, rocking Sophie and cooing to her, Lily's gaze landed on Ellie, who was glancing toward her and then Mitch. No one else seemed to notice the vibes between Lily and Mitch, but apparently Ellie did.

Lily hung out with her colleagues in the lounge for a while. They all wanted to take turns holding the twins and see if they could distinguish between the two. As Lily had suspected, Hillary asked Ellie to tell her all about the clothes she created.

Stepping away from the group with Grace in her arms, Lily went in search of Mitch. He was her friend, and they would be working together when she returned. She had to keep communication open between them. She had to know what was going on in his mind. Maybe it had nothing to do with her. If it didn't, she'd be relieved. At least that's what she told herself.

She found him in his office, at his computer. She stood there for a few moments, listening to Grace's little soughing sounds, studying Mitch's profile. Her gaze went to his hands as his fingers depressed keys. His left hand was faster than his right and she wondered if the fingers on his right hand hurt to use. What kind of pain did he experience on a daily basis? With what he'd
told her, she guessed his injuries had left repercussions. On the other hand, were the memories in his head more painful than anything physical injuries could cause? She wished he could talk to her about all of it. She wished—

Moving into the room, she said, “You should still be on your lunch break.”

“A fertility specialist never sleeps,” he joked. “I have a couple coming in this afternoon because the time is right.”

“They're going the artificial insemination route?”

“For now. In vitro doesn't fit into their budget.” His gaze went from Lily to Grace. “She seems content.”

Lily checked her watch. “Probably for about fifteen more minutes.”

Rolling his chair back, Mitch stood and approached her. His large hand gently passed over Grace's little head, his thumb brushing her strands of cotton-soft blond hair. “So you just decided to stop in or did you and Ellie have errands in the area?”

“Sophie and Grace had appointments with Tessa. Since we were in the building…” She trailed off.

“You wanted to stay in touch.”

“I think it will be easier for me to come back to work in the fall if I do.” He nodded.

“Mitch…” She didn't know what she wanted to say, or how to say it. “I need to talk about Troy.”

“I know you do. That was another good reason for Ellie coming to stay with you.”

“You left the lounge and I thought—”

“I told you I have clients coming.”

“I know.” She felt so stymied for the right words to
say. She could say,
I want to be around you, but when I am, I feel guilty.
Yet that couldn't come out because she and Mitch were both fighting becoming any closer.

She bowed her head, placing a tiny kiss on Grace's forehead, trying to figure out what she was doing in this room with Mitch and why she had actually stopped in today.

Yet Mitch wouldn't let her stand there, stewing in her own confusion. He slipped one knuckle under her chin and lifted it. “I think we're both feeling things we don't believe we should be feeling. You don't know whether to run in the other direction or pretend we're just friends.”

“I don't want to pretend!”

His brows arched as he gave her a crooked smile. “That
is
the crux of it.”

“Lily.” Ellie was standing in the doorway with Sophie, studying the two of them standing close, Mitch's finger under her chin.

He quickly dropped his hand to his side while Lily turned to face her sister-in-law. “I know. They're both going to start crying for lunch soon.”

“If you'd like to use my office, you can,” Mitch offered. “I have work to do in the lab.”

Crossing to his desk and reaching for a file folder, he picked it up, then stopped in the doorway. “It's good to see you again, Ellie.”

“You, too,” she said politely.

Mitch stood there for a few moments as if waiting to see if Troy's sister had something else to say. But she didn't. After a last glance at Lily and the twins, he strode down the hall.

Lily waited, not knowing if Ellie might have some
thing to say to
her.
But her sister-in-law just moved toward the door. “I'll get the diaper bag.” Then she was gone, too, leaving Lily with Grace in Mitch's office with very chaotic thoughts and feelings.

 

“They sure like those swings,” Angie observed a week later as Lily came into the kitchen and watched her putting together a casserole for lunch.

Lily stirred the white sauce she was cooking and glanced over at her content daughters. “They're settling into a real schedule.”

“Where's Ellie?”

“She went shopping to get material she needed.”

Angie poured herself a cup of coffee and took a seat at the kitchen counter. “Mitch hasn't been around for a while. Did you two have a fight or something?”

Or something,
Lily thought. “I saw him when I visited everyone at the practice.”

“That was a week ago. He stopped in to see Sophie and Grace every day when they were in the hospital and he worried about you. It seems odd he hasn't called or dropped by more.”

“I think he's giving me space.”

Angie studied Lily over her mug. “Do you want space?”

“We're just friends.” If she repeated those words often enough, she might believe them.

“I know that. And I know he's watching over you because Troy asked him to.”

Lily found herself wanting to protest, to say that wasn't the only reason. Yet she wasn't sure she should. She didn't know what was in Mitch's mind. “I feel I owe him so much for everything.”

“So why not call him and ask him to dinner?”

Angie made it sound so simple. On the one hand, Lily would love to do that. But on the other, she wished she and Mitch could have a little time alone, maybe straighten out everything between them.

“I could go to his place to cook dinner,” she said aloud, testing the idea.

From the doorway, several bags in her arms, Ellie asked, “You want to cook dinner for Mitch?” There was wariness in her tone and an element of disapproval.

“He did so much for me, including encouraging me to call you. I'd like to thank him.”

Ellie came into the kitchen and dropped her bags on the table. Then she went to the twins and crouched down, greeting both of them.

“I'm off for the weekend,” Angie offered. “I could watch Sophie and Grace if Ellie has plans.”

“No plans tomorrow. Just the concert with you in Amarillo on Saturday,” Ellie said to Angie, without looking up. “I can watch them.”

“Are you sure?” Lily asked. “Because I could invite Mitch here instead.”

“No,” Ellie responded, standing. “It's fine. Angie and I and Sophie and Grace will have a girls' night together. It will be a blast, even if the babies can't eat popcorn yet.”

“Before we make too many plans, I'd better find out if Mitch wants me to cook for him. I'll leave a message on his cell phone.” She picked up the cordless phone in the kitchen before she lost her nerve.

 

An hour and a half later, when Mitch returned her call, Lily had just finished breast-feeding both babies.
It was much easier now than when she'd first tried to juggle their needs.

“I got your message,” Mitch said. “Is everything all right?”

Lily looked down at her sleeping daughters. “Everything's fine. I…” She cleared her throat. “If you're going to be home tomorrow evening, I'd like to cook you dinner.”

“Home? As in at my house?”

She laughed. “Yes. Angie and Ellie offered to watch Sophie and Grace, and this would be my way to thank you for everything you've done.”

He didn't say, “You don't have to thank me,” because they'd gone through that routine before and he probably knew it would fall on deaf ears. “A home-cooked meal would be a nice change,” he agreed noncommittally.