Twins for the Bull Rider (13 page)

Dominic rolled his shoulders, trying to shake off that nagging feeling. It didn't help, though.

A good man
. That was how Cissy saw him. Yet she saw the complete opposite in Jason. A guy Dominic initially thought must be akin to a demon from hell to be able to walk away from his kids. As it was, Jason had turned out to be just an ordinary guy. One who didn't think he was cut out for being a parent. And one who felt that loss keenly.

A good man
. That was what Cissy had said.

Dominic tilted his head back and inhaled. The summer night mocked him. The cicadas rattled, the hiss and snap booming in his ears and driving deep into his bones. He turned and opened the door. But he couldn't quite make his way through it.

Jason had made more points than he'd like to admit. And after their conversation, the lines dividing him from Jason had been blurred if not erased.

If that were the case, what did Cissy see in him that made him any different from Jason?

And was there really any difference to begin with?

Chapter Nine

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Cissy followed the link on the web page and clicked the mouse. A new window sprang open, revealing a two-page application for an online program with a Georgia college about three hours away from Raintree Ranch. The printer whirred on the table to her left, nudging out a paper copy.

“You did another one, Aunt Cissy?” Kayden slapped a book against his thigh and peered at the pages spitting out of the printer.

“Just one more, then we need to go.” She smiled and rose to squeeze his shoulder before retrieving the papers.

Kayden groaned, flouncing across the library to flop into one of the children's chairs. “More? Crud. We've been here for forever.”

“Come on, Kayden,” Tammy admonished, patting his head and settling on the colorful rug in front of him. “It's your aunt Cissy's day off. Let her do something she'd like to do for a change.”

Jayden rounded a book aisle, clutching an armful of books and sat down beside Kayden. “I don't want to go yet,” he said, flipping through pages. “There's some more books I want to look at.”

“You've looked at all of them already,” Kayden complained. “If you get any more, we won't fit in the car.”

Cissy conjured up a stern expression and stifled a grin. “That's enough, Kayden. He can look at as many books as he wants. Just remember, Jayden, you can only take two with you today.”

“Yes, ma'am,” he said. “But can't we stay longer? Just so I can look?”

Cissy sighed. She hated to cut their first library visit short but she was anxious to get back to Raintree. They'd spent the majority of the morning running errands. The most important of which was picking up their newly repaired Toyota.

Her hand drifted to her pocket, patting it and smiling at the clink of keys. She'd asked Tammy to give them a lift to town so she could settle the bill with Logan's mechanic friend. Cissy had barely been able to contain her excitement when she'd placed the short stack of bills in the man's hand. After he'd passed her the keys, she'd shaken his hand so hard Tammy had intervened for fear she'd break it.

The poor old Toyota had bounced and swayed when she and the boys had piled in, smiles on all of their faces. The beat-up car wasn't much, but it was theirs. The boys now had a safe mode of transportation and she'd been the one to provide it for them. She couldn't remember ever feeling so accomplished. It seemed a small step but had turned out to mean so much more.

A drift of cool air blowing from a vent at her feet lifted the edge of the papers in her hand. The empty boxes on the college application beckoned up at her to fill them in. Her fingers hovered over the pages, itching to grab a pen and begin.

She couldn't quite yet, though. There was something greater that needed to be decided before she could take the next step. She had several college applications. Some of them on campus and some online. Which one she'd decide to enroll in would all depend on Dominic. That, and whether she and the boys would remain at Raintree or move on to settle somewhere else.

Her knees almost buckled beneath her. Leaving Raintree Ranch was not a pleasant thought. Or one she'd seriously scrutinized. But if things didn't go the way she hoped they would with Dominic, it might be her only option.

“Aunt Cissy, please?” Jayden's heels bounced against the floor when she told him it was time to go.

“We really need to get back to the ranch, baby.”

Good grief, did they ever. The weekend of the rodeo in Atlanta had run up on her before she'd had a chance to realize it. She'd been preoccupied with the legal proceedings related to terminating Jason's parental rights. Each day had been filled to the brim with the grind of ranch chores, paperwork and meetings. So much so, that she hadn't had a chance to steal a moment with Dominic.

No. That wasn't altogether accurate. In actuality, she'd been delaying the conversation about their future together for as long as possible in hopes that Dominic would choose to bring it up. Or, even better, that he would inform her he was sitting this rodeo out—then there'd be no need to discuss it at all...yet.

That, however, wasn't to be. Colt and Jen had chattered about the competition nonstop last night at dinner, barely pausing to take a bite of food. Cissy had hoped Dominic would voice a protest or declare he wasn't going, but he'd remained silent and, to her dismay, only met her eyes once during the hour-long family meal.

What unnerved her even more was the fact that Dominic had been uncharacteristically reserved since Jason's visit. Which made it all the more vital for her to touch base with him as soon as possible.

“I don't mind staying awhile longer with the boys, Cissy,” Tammy said, breaking through her thoughts. She pushed one of the books closer to Jayden's busy hands. “That way Jayden can look at a few more and then I could take them out for ice cream on the way back, maybe?”

Kayden sprang upright at that. “Can we, Aunt Cissy? Can we?”

Tammy laughed and thumped the toe of his shoe. “You gotta behave though, young man. I can't have you stressing me out right before an event.”

Kayden nodded eagerly. “Yes, ma'am.” He whirled back around. “Come on, Aunt Cissy, can we?”

“Well, I suppose. If it's not too much trouble, Tammy?”

“Of course not,” she said, grinning. “I can get one last twin fix before I leave.”

“What time are you leaving?” Cissy asked.

“I'm packing tomorrow morning and leaving around noon. Jen and I had originally planned on leaving with Colt and Dom but they're taking off tonight.” She made a face. “You know men. They like to scope out the lay of the land, so to speak, before the competition.”

Cissy frowned, clutching the papers tighter. Well, that answered one of her questions. Dominic was definitely going. So this was it. Either she took a chance. A chance on love. And on Dominic. Or she went with the only other alternative. Which was to remain silent and let him leave. Without ever knowing if they had a real shot.

“It would really help me out if you're sure you don't mind,” Cissy said. At Tammy's nod, she gathered up the packets of information she'd printed. “Boys, I'll see you tonight at dinner. Be on your best behavior for Ms. Tammy, okay?”

They “yes, ma'am-ed” her in unison. She dropped a kiss on each of their foreheads before tossing Tammy a grateful smile and heading out to the Toyota. The drive back to the ranch was riddled with doubts and unsettling questions.

Dominic had asked her for this, but how would he respond when he finally heard it? Would he welcome it? Or was she assuming this was what he wanted from her? Maybe this wasn't what he'd asked for at all. Maybe she was expecting too much. And what if this scared him off?

Cissy tossed her hair back from her face and pressed her foot down harder on the pedal. There was no way she'd misunderstood. Dominic couldn't have been clearer. He wanted something real with her. Something permanent.

Her stomach roiled. Dominic may have asked for something permanent with her. But he'd never mentioned the boys. Did what he was asking for involve something permanent with them?

She stifled a curse. This was ridiculous. She was being ridiculous, looking for problems where there were none. She'd seen Dominic with Kayden and Jayden. He cared for them. Enjoyed being with them. And, more often than not, he came up with excuses to spend time with them.

Dominic was nothing like all the other men she'd known. That was one of the first things she'd learned about him. He wouldn't have asked for so much from her if he wasn't willing to give her as much in return.

Even though she chose to focus on the more positive thoughts, her mood swung between excited anticipation and debilitating fear. Cissy found the latter won out as she stood at the door to Dominic's bunkhouse twenty minutes later.

Shifting from one foot to the other, she glanced around, half expecting someone to spring from the side of the building and call her a coward. She hesitated, turning away for a moment and toying with the idea of returning to the main house.

Just go, Cissy
, a tiny voice urged.
He'll never know you were even here
.

She spun back around and firmed her stance. That was the exact reason she shouldn't back out. Dominic would never know she was here, but she would. She'd know it every time she regretted walking away or not speaking up.

Just as Jason had known it when he'd decided to leave the boys. She'd seen it in his eyes when he'd sparred with her in the office. It had filled his expression and saturated every line of him. He'd ended up emptier than he'd ever been after that moment.

Cissy lifted her chin. Jason may have not learned from his mistakes but she had. She wasn't going to let another opportunity for happiness just slip on by.

Raising a fist, she rapped her knuckles on the door.

“It's open.” Dominic's muffled voice just managed to reach outside.

She twisted the knob with a shaky hand and entered. Immediately, Dominic's woodsy scent enveloped her, warming her skin. She remained still for a moment, glancing around. The kitchen and living area were small but adequate and tidy. A coffee mug sat on the table by a recliner. A TV sounded low on the other side of the room, issuing forth a recitation of PBR statistics and standings.

“You packed yet?” Dominic's deep rumble drifted in from an adjoining room.

Cissy swallowed the lump in her throat and rounded the corner. The fresh scent of soap and shampoo lingered in the moist air at the threshold. A black overnight bag yawned open on a rumpled bed. Clanks and clunks of items being shuffled around sounded from the bathroom.

“I'm planning on leaving on time, Colt.”

The bathroom door swung open and Dominic emerged, his muscular bulk filling the doorway and his tanned hand rasping the zipper shut on a shaving bag. A pair of faded jeans hung, unbuttoned, low on his slim hips. His feet and chest were bare and his damp hair stuck up in adorable, dark tufts on his head as though he'd just rubbed a towel over it.

“I mean it. I'm not waiting on your slow...”

Dominic's words trailed off when he looked up. His expression lit with surprise, then relaxed into a pleased smile. “Cissy.” His eyes darkened with confusion as he examined her expression. “Is something wrong? The boys okay?”

“Yeah.” She licked her lips, dragging her eyes from the black sprinkling of hair that arrowed down his sculpted abs and returned her gaze to his face. “Fine.” She swallowed again. “With Tammy.”

Get it together. At least make a full sentence
.

“I mean, the boys are fine.” She forged ahead before her tongue tied again. “I needed to ask you something.”

“Okay.” He tossed the shaving bag on the bed then turned to start back to the bathroom. “Just let me grab a shirt—”

“No. Wait. I need to do this now.” Cringing, she wrung her hands together. “Please? Can I just get this out first?”

He spun back around and waited, arms hanging at his sides.

“We went and picked up my car this morning. It's in good shape now.” She shrugged. “Well, at least, as in good a shape as it's going to get. And I paid the work off, so, there's that. Which led me to think about the next step.” She squared her shoulders. “I've given it some thought and I want to do something with my life. You know, something more?”

Dominic moved slowly, his hands slipping into his pockets and his chiseled jaw tightening.

“I've looked at a lot of degree programs and there's a couple different ways I can go about it. I could get an apartment near a college campus and take a few night classes. Or I could do an online program and basically do course work whenever I wanted. Wherever I wanted. Which is what I want to ask you about.” Her heart thundered and her mouth went dry. “I wanted to ask you...”

Dear Lord, there had to be a way to ask. An easy, face-saving way to ask if he wanted her to stay or go. And then it occurred to her, her heart slowing. It didn't matter what his answer was. It wouldn't change how she felt. No matter whether she stayed or went. She'd still feel the same.

There was no need to ask. Only to tell.

“No, that's wrong,” she whispered. “I don't need to ask you anything. I need to tell you something.”

He relaxed slightly, muscular abs and chest rippling on release. “Okay.”

“And before I say it, I want to point out that it's daytime.” She gestured toward the light slipping through the blinds in the window. “And that I haven't been drinking. And know exactly what I'm doing.”

Dominic smiled and shook his head. “Cissy, what is it you want to say?”

“You have it.” The words burst from her lips. Her nerves clamored, shaking her frame.

“Have what?” He crossed to her side, concern flooding his features. Taking her upper arms in his hands, he murmured, “Relax. What exactly is it I have?”

She reached up and moved his hands. “You have it,” she whispered, placing one of his palms over her heart and the other at her temple. “You're here, you see?”

Understanding dawned in his eyes. It gave her the courage to finish.

“I love you. That's what I needed to tell you. That's all,” she mumbled.

His gaze roved over her face, lingering on her mouth. “That's all?”

The words held a note of wonder and were so soft she barely caught them. She moved to answer but Dominic cut her reply short. He dropped his head and parted her lips with his own, sweeping his tongue deep into the recesses of her mouth.

Her body hummed, longing streaming through her veins and urging her closer. She stepped forward and pressed her chest to his. The hard heat of him seeped into her breasts and spread over her skin.

His fingers stroked into her hair, gripping the back of her head, sending tingles over her scalp and down her neck. He pulled back, dark eyes clinging to hers as he shook his head from side to side and whispered, “That's all?”