Twin Flames (2 page)

Verethragna
—[vYrYθraγna]—is the principle companion and protector of Mithra. Called "Victorious Fire". He's an archangel in constant battles with daemons and men. He has ten forms in which he can appear.

Zal the White Haired
—He was considered cursed and was abandoned by his father and raised by Simurgh but later welcomed back by his father, the king of Sistan.

I looked up from the manuscript I'd been reading, trying to find a way to help Tristan Janick. I had searched the archives and the journals my predecessor handed down to me. So far, I had discovered nothing that would help the boy.

"You have ten minutes before you meet with the elders for the Janick inquisition."
"Thank you."
I had always thought that being the guardian of the King's Library would enable me to find the solution to almost anything but for the last two days, all I had found were more questions.
I read the forty-eight hundred year old document again. It was the oldest translation of the diary of Shamhat, the priestess who'd brought our ancestor Enkidu out of the wilderness and civilized him. It recorded the start of our people and culture. Within the pages, she detailed the illness that had befallen our ancestor and the blessings that were handed down to Enkidu's children.
When I took over the guardianship, my predecessor had impressed upon me that this was where the king's trouble began but as many times as I had read it, I couldn't see the correlation, and because of my inability to discern the danger, I was afraid I would fail my Xenres.
I looked at my watch. Five minutes to go. It was enough time to read it once more. I could not fail him.

As recorded by Shamhat, high priestess of Inanna, consort to Enkidu, in the book of The Origins of the Tribe of Enkidu and translated for the book of Remembrance of the Origin of the Twin Flames of Bashert. Circa 2500 B.C.E.

Enkidu had been ill for many days. It was difficult watching him waste away from the vibrant man that he once was. A warrior he may have been in the defense of his consort, King Gilgamesh, but his soul would ever be as gentle as the animals he'd once grazed with. All of their sons, now grown, had gathered at his side, vigilant in their attendance to him. It was heartbreaking to watch Enkidu soothe his beloved children, to wipe away their tears as they gathered in his bed like they once had as children.

Gilgamesh, Enkidu's love, had not given up hope that one of the Gods would intervene and save his beloved. He prayed nonstop. He had gone to the temples and made extravagant offerings to all but
hers
. Hers, Gilgamesh ordered dismantled and destroyed. King Gilgamesh, once high priest to the Goddess Inanna, had disallowed worship of her and none could speak her name.

As a former priestess of hers, the one who had tamed Enkidu and taught him of bodily pleasure, I should have been able to avoid this disaster. Given her fickle lust and Gilgamesh's pride, all that had happened may have been preordained. Inanna had had other consorts and it never ended well once her attention waned. Gilgamesh denied her. He told her he would not be consort to a Goddess as fickle as she, and then he chose Enkidu as his lover and consort.

I will never forget the day the Goddess found out Gilgamesh took Enkidu as consort. Many priestesses died by her hand that day because of her wrath. I also remembered the day she returned to the temple in triumph.

In her quest to crush Gilgamesh, she had coerced the Gods to allow her to send Gugalanna, the Bull of Heaven, against him. If the bull had been allowed to freely walk the Earth before his time at the solstice, he would have killed thousands of innocent people. How could she be so blind in her obsessive love for Gilgamesh? If he and Enkidu had not been victorious against Gugalanna, seven plagues of disease and pestilence would have been unleashed on the kingdom of Uruk. So many senseless deaths just to assuage her pride over Gilgamesh's refusal.

Maybe the Goddess would have left Gilgamesh alone and found another to adorn her bed if Enkidu had not challenged her in his anger. I know why he threw the haunch of the bull at her and bellowed he would kill her next. Enkidu was furious at the continuous attempts on the king's life. But he forgot Inanna's Godhood and she used his impiety to condemn him. It was because of her that he was on his death bed, surrounded by his children and his beloved Gilgamesh.

I heard the whispers of the court, but I was not jealous. Gilgamesh and Enkidu shared a strong love. I doubted I would see the likes of it again before I died. I know Enkidu was fond of me. To be
her
priestess was to be a priestess of sexual love but not of commitment. His love gave me the twins. Although my twins are older than Enkidu's children with Gilgamesh, and did not answer the call to be with him at his bedside, I still have them now that Enkidu is gone.

Shamash, the God of Justice, was here to see Enkidu. Gilgamesh was sure Shamash would save his consort but it was not to be. Gilgamesh should have stayed but he stormed out in a temper. He would have learned Shamash had saved him from the same fate. He would have known he was now free of retribution from Inanna. Because Gilgamesh did not remain, he did not hear the blessings Shamash bestowed upon his consort Enkidu.

When Enkidu was near death, he had terrifying visions of an afterlife alone in Irkalla, the Realm of the Dead, without Gilgamesh. He cursed me for the sorrow brought upon him. If I had not gone to the wilderness and tamed Enkidu, if I had not brought him to Uruk and introduced him to King Gilgamesh, he would not be dying, facing eternity in the underworld of Irkalla without his beloved consort. As an immortal demigod, Gilgamesh may go to Anunnaki, the home of the Gods, when he wishes to leave this world. Irkalla was for mortals and barred to him.

The God Shamash scolded Enkidu for cursing me and reminded him I may have introduced him to civilization, but I also brought him to his beloved Gilgamesh and the greatest love and joy of his life. Enkidu looked at me with tear-filled eyes and apologized. I know he did not mean to be angry with me. He was afraid Gilgamesh's divinity would keep them apart in the afterlife and he could not bear the thought of them being parted forever.

Enkidu had stood up to the injustice caused by the Goddess Inanna. He had defied the Gods for the sake of his beloved and he helped save lives from the plagues Inanna would have unleashed. The God Shamash would therefore ensure justice was done and blessed Enkidu and all his progeny.

Enkidu was created as the balance for Gilgamesh. Shamash promised he and his descendants would not go to Irkalla but would be reborn from the Earth as long as their souls had the strength. The children would carry the same blessing as their ancestors and recognize their Twin Flame, the one who would be their Bashert, their destiny. They would be a kingdom unto themselves. Their direct line of firstborn would never be broken and they would be kings over all their joint descendants. They would become a mighty race and answer the call of the God Shamash whenever he needed their service as warriors to dispense his justice.

Shamash brought forth the Goddess Anat, a mighty and bloody Goddess of War from the north. She was the patron Goddess for the warriors of Enkidu. She would teach and guide them in the art of war and it would be through her teachings the descendants of Enkidu would dispense the judgment of Shamash's laws.

Unable to stay away for long, Gilgamesh returned to Enkidu's side before Enkidu breathed his last. And yet, Gilgamesh still believed Enkidu would rise. Gilgamesh refused to let anyone touch him and would not hear of the God Shamash's decree. When he finally realized that Enkidu was truly gone, Gilgamesh keened over the body of his beloved for several long and anguished days. I hope to never hear those aching sounds of desperation ever again. Even now, as I finish writing this, I hear his sobbing wails.

I was Tristan Javeh Ksathra Janick, Warrior of the Goddess Anat, and council enforcer. Who would've thought I would be here in the Hall of Shamash, with my heart aching, kneeling in front of the Council of Elders, waiting for the life I had known to end.

The hall was large and cavernous with tall pillars and cold stone floors. The gallery overlooking the main level was packed with those who'd been asked to witness today's events. Carved on the impressive and enormous mahogany doors was the emblem of the God Enki, creator of our ancestor Enkidu, the father of all Lycans. The insignia of a double helix of snakes wrapped around a staff of lapis lazuli, called the Caduceus, covered the door top to bottom, reminding us of our humble origins when we entered the sacred place of judgment.

Behind the seats of the Council of Five stood a nine-foot marble statue of Shamash, the God of Justice. The figure was outlined by the golden circle of the sun over outstretched wings of crimson feathers. On the wall above the statue of our founding God was the crystal case that held the Horned Crown of Divinity of our lost line of kings.

All five elders had donned their sacred capes of scales for this momentous meeting. They were sitting behind their desks as they patiently waited in their entire splendor for the final participant of the inquisition.

As a Warrior of Anat, I was identified at birth, like all warriors, by toes numbering eight but everything else about me was average. I wasn't much to look at when compared to my Lycan brothers.

Average height.
Average build.
Average brown hair.
Average brown eyes.
That didn't mean I was as average as a human. The

difference was only apparent when I was compared with other Lycans and Warriors of Anat, who were gorgeous, tall, well defined, and broad. They were powerhouses who were noticed and fawned over.

Being unremarkable never really mattered to me because I'd known somewhere in the world was my Bashert, my destined Twin Flame. There was someone who'd love me no matter what. I'd always known that when I found him, he wouldn't care if I was ugly, plain, or beautiful because the Gods promised he would be my perfect match. He'd love me just as I was.

When I met my Twin Flame four years ago, I'd been overjoyed. He was beautiful, powerful, and he was mine. I was more than lucky; I was blessed. In the beginning, his touch was like fire across my skin and his kiss stole away my breath. His very being breathed such life into me, making everything brighter, clearer.

Unlike humans, Lycans were reborn after death. The Bashert was an eternal companion. More than simple marriage or the magical life bond. The Bashert was your eternal destiny. A marriage could end. A life bond would complete your soul until the next death and rebirth. The Bashert had been and always would be an extension of self, if you found them, because rebirth was never promised to be in sync with time or place. I hoped to be one of the fortunate few to find my Bashert in this life.

But that was then, at the beginning, when I had believed…
The heavy, engraved doors split open, allowing entrance to the alpha and his four betas. Together they approached the seats of the Council of Five.
"Alpha Theodore Sullivan," Elder Luis greeted, his tone showed his exasperation, "So good of you to actually heed the summons, even if you're"—he consulted his watch—"twenty minutes late."
I didn't look up from the stone floor where I knelt. Even then, I couldn't look at Theo and not see him wrapped between the two she-wolves writhing and moaning. He was fucking them, kissing them. He had whispered to them that no one had ever made him feel that good. He'd told them he could never have another and not think of them. Then he'd promised the women he'd claim them in front of the tribe as his alpha mates.
Mates were not our Twin Flames. They were pale substitutes for those Lycans who didn't believe they'd find their destined partner. Lycans could never claim or bond with a mate like they could their Twin Flame. Our Flames were our other self, our balance, the twin half who complimented our soul. That was the promise made by the God Shamash over four thousand years ago to the first of us. Mates were a watery imitation when compared to our true Flames. If a Lycan found their Flame, any mating would be considered null and void. When we claimed our Twin Flame, there was no one else, or so I'd thought.
Two days ago, my belief in the sanctity of that sacred bond crumbled and turned to ash when I spied Theo's deceit. I didn't know how long I stood there in shock, watching him as he took his pleasure with the females. Just hours earlier, I'd been lying in that very same bed with him. He'd whispered he was blessed to have me, that I balanced him, and he loved me.
For some time I hadn't been feeling well and I'd been getting progressively more soul sick. As I witnessed his deception, my claiming mark began to burn as if my flesh was on fire. My shoulder continued to burn as I listened to the elders formally greet and address my alpha, my Twin Flame.
"I apologize, tribal business held me up," Theo replied. I shivered with need at the deep rumble of his voice. I felt his gaze on me when he asked, "Why have I been summoned here? Has someone from my tribe given offense?"
Elder Luis sighed heavily. "It's funny you should ask, Alpha Sullivan, because someone has affronted Tribe Enkidu and the Council of Shamash."
"Who? Who has given insult?" Theo sounded angry, "Give me the name and I will guarantee due compensation for the slight."
"It's you who's given the insult," Elder Luis replied.
"What? Lies!" Theo roared as he took a step closer to the dais. "I would never offend my tribe or this council! I've done nothing wrong or illegal in ensuring my tribe's future and safety! I have…"
"Alpha Sullivan!" The loud echo of Elder Luis's hand slapping the desk reverberated through the room. "You will get a hold of yourself!"
Theo inhaled sharply in anger. Between gritted teeth he asked, "What is the accusation?"
"I'll remind you, lying to this council carries the penalty of twenty lashes and twenty thousand dollars."
"I know what the penalty is, Elder," Theo snapped.
"Very well," Elder Luis sighed, "Alpha, have you claimed someone as your Twin Flame?"
I couldn't look up. I knew I should've faced Theo with my head held high. My brother, Nathan, called me a coward and maybe he was right because I couldn't confront Theo with pride. My heart was being torn out of my chest. The wound was so deep I wondered why I wasn't bleeding.
"Alpha, answer the question," Elder Luis prompted.
"I don't see how…"
Elder Luis was getting impatient and even I knew you didn't piss this man off. "Ushna Ahura-Yazda." The elder beckoned to a tall, willowy, dark-haired warrior who stood at the end of the dais. Ushna walked over and the elder whispered in his ear.
"Tristan." The elder gestured to me.
I pulled in a ragged breath, stood on shaky legs, and walked toward the dais. Several things happened at once. The heavy mahogany doors opened, allowing entrance to four warriors who escorted the two she-wolves I'd reported to the Council. Theo snarled and lunged for me only to encounter Ushna, who wrestled the alpha to the floor. Council enforcers stepped up to Alpha Sullivan's betas and kept them from going to his aid. Two more warriors came forward and restrained Alpha Sullivan on his knees, allowing Ushna to escort me to the councilman. Elder Luis had left his seat and he stood in front of his desk, greeting me with kind but sad eyes.
"I need you to face Alpha Sullivan and take off your shirt," he requested.
I'd somehow known it wouldn't be simple. In my head everything moved swiftly through the events, and then I'd be permitted to leave. Theo's refusal to cooperate wasn't allowing me that ease. Now the elder was asking me to show everyone in the chamber my humiliation. I knew it couldn't be helped, and this would be the last I'd see of these people. But that knowledge didn't take away from the fact I had to bare my shame to them.
I grabbed the hem of my shirt, and my breath hitched with the pain. Ushna stepped to my side, whispering to me to allow him to help. I gave a quick jerky nod and he gingerly lifted the T-shirt over my head. Ushna didn't visibly react to what I knew was there, but the rest of the room did with shocked whispers of bond poisoning and flame neglect.
The claiming mark Theo had given me was red, raw, and oozing pus. Blue lines emanated outward two inches from the bite mark. If I'd been human I would've been in the hospital. As it was, I could still die from the poison if it was left untreated.
With what little courage I had left, I looked up at Theo for the first time since he'd entered the room. He was so beautiful, with silky blond hair that brushed his shoulders and piercing blue eyes that could move me with just one heated look. His shoulders were broad, and his waist was trim like all the Lycans' here. He was so beautiful but so deadly to me. I should've been repulsed with his poison running through my veins from his bond mark. Theo wasn't looking at me but at my shoulder, with horror. I didn't know if he was dismayed at the sickly green and yellow flesh, or disgusted now everyone knew that he'd claimed me.
"Is this your claiming mark?" Elder Luis asked again, clearly enraged at what he too was seeing. When it became apparent Theo wasn't going to answer, the elder quietly spoke Ushna's name.
I'd grown up with Ushna and considered him one of my best friends. Sometimes when Lycans went through puberty, we could be blessed with something more on our first shift into our wolf form. Not all Lycans were Gift Blessed, but those who were, were honored in their tribes. Some Lycans have the Strength of Gilgamesh or Sight of Enlil. Ushna was blessed with the Scent of Ki. Hours after a scent had been left and was gone from a normal Lycan's sense, Ushna could still smell it. He could also smell magic and identify the user who'd cast the spell. It was a couple of days since I'd had sex with Theo. I didn't think Ushna would be able to catch Theo's scent from the bite, but the passive magic that kept the bite there was a different story, because it was still Theo's magic.
Ushna gave me a crooked twist of his lips before he asked permission to scent the claiming mark. I nodded to him, his emerald eyes holding mine as he slowly lowered his nose to the nape of my neck. Theo snarled and grappled with the warriors as he shifted, tugged, and pulled, trying to acquire enough leverage to throw the guards off. Two more warriors came to the assistance of those who struggled to hold Theo in place. Ushna inhaled the scent of the mark. I didn't know how he could be that close to the wound and not be nauseous. The smell of rot and decay was all over the area. Ushna rose, stepped away, and whispered in the elder's ear.
"Alpha Sullivan, I'll give you one last chance to answer the question. Is this your claiming mark?" Elder Luis barked out. Theo did nothing other than fight, growl, snarl, and snap at the guards. "Very well then, Ushna please tell us whose mark is on young Tristan?"
"Alpha Sullivan's."
At Ushna's announcement, a deadly hush fell over the room.
In my lifetime, I'd never heard of someone so mistreated by their Flame that they developed bond poisoning. It had always been a warning, a fairy tale parents would tell their children to express how important a Twin Flame was. I would become the poster boy, the name parents would whisper to their children as a warning of what happened to mistreated Flames.
"Ushna," Elder Luis asked, "What of Alpha Sullivan?"
"Alpha Sullivan hasn't been marked, but he carries six separate sex scents, four of which are she-wolves and one male Lycan other than Tristan."
I couldn't breathe. Five. Five others. Oh, Goddess it was bad enough before with just the two but… oh, Goddess help me! My legs gave out and I didn't care enough to try to catch myself.
Arms wrapped around my chest from behind.
"Breathe," Ushna whispered in my ear. "You're a Warrior of Anat of the Lycan Royal Tribe of Enkidu. You can be strong for a little while longer."
Ushna held me up as I concentrated on breathing, in and out. I ignored the hole where my heart had once been. I wouldn't disgrace myself further today. As soon as I thought I could stand on my own, I pulled away from Ushna. He stayed close but he didn't touch me. I stared at the floor and wished Elder Luis would hurry up and get this over with.
"Alpha Sullivan." The finality of Elder Luis' tone reverberated throughout the chamber. "You're formally accused of flame neglect and bond poisoning. Your actions could very well lead to Tristan's death. You've refused your Twin Flame the right to mark you and claim you in return. You've deceived the she-wolves of your tribe into believing you're choosing a mate from among them when you've already chosen. Alpha… Theo… Why would you do this?" Elder Luis was truly bewildered by the actions of an alpha who had the reputation for being good and caring.
Theo spoke but the response was so low nobody but those closest to him heard.
"Speak up Theo. This may be the only chance you get to explain yourself," Elder Luis scolded.
"Pups," Theo said forcefully. "Tristan can't give me pups to ensure my family line. I didn't know… I didn't know… Oh, Goddess, I had no idea what it would do to him." Theo looked at me then. Really looked at me, as if seeing the harm he'd caused for the first time. "You have to believe me, Tristan. I didn't know you'd be hurt. I wasn't thinking. I swear to you. I swear! Goddess, you have to forgive me!"
Could he not see there were too many pieces to pick up? That I was well and truly broken? I was bleeding to death right here, right now. Wasn't it obvious there was nothing he could do that would fix this, fix me, or fix us?
Every time I looked at him, I'd see the rapture and the joy he'd had with another in our bed. I'd hear the sweet whispers he'd given them. He may have wanted children, but he'd also enjoyed the process. I'd always know. I couldn't scrub away what I'd seen, what I'd heard. I wasn't that strong. Maybe I was a bit of a coward. Even now, as he looked at me with those brilliant blue eyes pleading for my forgiveness, regardless of everything that had gone before, I loved him fiercely. As I looked into those eyes, I knew he had the power to utterly destroy me. I was scared because I knew I'd continue to love him even as he killed me.
I stared at him, my body numb with disbelief and grief. My shoulder throbbed and burned with the poison of being claimed by this man. My chest constricted with the pain of a broken heart. I bled for him because I loved him.
"Tristan," Elder Luis said, grabbing my attention, "his punishment is your choice. His grievance is so dire that if you ask, we'll place the tribe into your care. We will make you the alpha and he will be your beta. We can bind him to you so he'd never stray again. He'd serve you faithfully as your beta and partner. You only need to say the word and I'll see it done."
I took in a breath. I hadn't thought of the punishment the Council would hand down or recommend. Their offer of judgment was generous. For a moment, I considered their proposal and then I looked up into Theo's face, his beautiful male face, and knew the path I must choose.
"Elder Luis, I want the bond broken."
The gallery erupted with a roar. Theo howled with such agony I felt it in my very bones. I closed my eyes to shut out the sight of his torment. Even after everything, it affected me as strongly as my own.
"Tristan," Elder Luis called.
The gavel was used by one of the councilmen in an effort to calm the gallery. Elder Luis was calling my name. Ushna had his hand on the small of my back. That minor comfort was a show of support which allowed me to open my eyes. I regarded the elder as he stood in front of me.
"Tristan, pup, do you even know what you ask? Breaking a bond between two who are claimed, unraveling the two Flames is complex. You've been claimed by Alpha Sullivan for how long?"
"Four years." I replied.
Ushna's hand rubbed soothingly circles at the base of my spine.
Elder Luis exhaled loudly, sending a glare over to his shoulder to Theo. "You've been bound for four years. Your soul is entwined with his, but his isn't entwined with yours. In such a one-sided, unbalanced bonding, your Flame will have merged with Theo's. Even with an experienced Magi, not all of your soul can be retrieved. A piece of your spirit will be torn off, and part of you will stay with Theo, forever. I'm not sure you'll find your Twin Flame in the next life if you have this done. Mark him and stay together another four years. Then, if at that time you still want the bond to be broken, it can be clean. If it's done like this, you're the one that will be hurt."
"I'm the only one hurting now," I replied tonelessly.
"Tristan, you may not survive the Breaking. If you do there's no guarantee you'll be
you
. You could be a ghost of yourself. You could fade. You're in pain, pup, I can feel it. Don't make rash decisions while your emotions are running high."
"Elder Luis, Alpha Sullivan has the scent of four females and one other Lycan male on him. This would've been in the last forty-eight hours."
I turned and looked at my friend. "Ushna, is the scent of the two she-wolves present the same she-wolf scents he carries?" Ushna looked at me with apologetic eyes and shook his head. "Your scent lingers from prolonged association, but two days is too long for even my nose to detect a temporary liaison."
I thought I was going to throw up. "Okay… so that means within the last couple of days he's had sex with seven people." I turned pleading eyes to the elder, begging him to understand. "I can't stay attached to him."