Noah had only been
one
man, and her dad hadn’t approved of him. Of course Noah had been a decade older than her and, according to her father and to a lesser degree, Jeremiah, he didn’t have a future, whereas she did. She was going places that Noah would never reach.
They’d claimed he would have held her back, but at eighteen, she hadn’t wanted to hear any logic. No one could have gotten past her fog of teenage certainty and lust to convince her that she was in love, or that she wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life with Noah.
She could claim age and wisdom now, though.
And the wise decision would be to cut her loses and spare herself the heartache rather than wade into uncharted territory with two men almost a decade younger than her. Not to mention the fact that they were cowboys attached to the land and who lived in Colorado while she toiled in a purely white-collar job as a lawyer and lived almost half-way across the country in New York.
Jax stepped closer and caught her by the arms. “Do you want both of us, Tamara?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“You do. You’re just afraid to say it.”
“Of course I’m afraid! I’ve never done anything like this before.”
“You think I have?”
“I don’t know, Jax. Why don’t you tell me since I really don’t know all that much about you beyond your having a wicked sense of humor and a smile to match.”
“You know me better than you think.”
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She wanted to believe that, but more, she wanted to believe she could trust him not to hurt her the way James had, not to hurt her the way his brother had.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me or Jess. And contrary to what you think, Jess didn’t set out to hurt you. Neither of us would ever hurt you intentionally. You know that.”
“I know.” But it didn’t mean that this situation suited any of them, and it didn’t mean that they wouldn’t hurt her at all, just not intentionally—small comfort.
Her father already thought her a jezebel and a fallen woman. What would he think of her if she went through with this madness, if she, Jess and Jax got involved? What would Jeremiah think?
She should have been over this by now. She had been living on her own for more almost two decades, without the approval of either parent or Jeremiah. She didn’t
need
their approval.
But she wanted it.
Jax slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close to nuzzle her throat. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m afraid too.”
She pulled back to look at him, eyebrows arched.
“Don’t look so shocked. I’ve never done anything like this before either.”
“What do you think Jeremiah will think about it?”
Jax shrugged. “I’ve never based any of my relationships with women on what Pop thinks. If I did, I’d never be with anyone.”
“Speaking of which, exactly what is your status woman-wise?”
“I’m not with anyone right now, if that’s what you’re asking me.”
“I guess that’s comforting.”
“I wouldn’t have made a play for you if I had an attachment to another woman.”
“Is that what you’re doing? Making a play?”
“I suppose you could say that.”
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She grinned and returned his hug, loving the way his skin felt so warm and firm beneath her touch, loving the way his hard muscles felt pressed against her.
“I might have known this is what you’d be up to.”
Jax dropped his arms from around her and jumped back as if he’d been burned.
Tamara turned and followed his gaze to see Jess sitting up on a black stallion. He looked majestic and so damn gorgeous she had to fight not to release the estrous sigh that teased the edges of her vocal cords. She had to fight not to allow her panties to completely flood with her juices.
He also looked pissed, which made her pissed. Who the hell did he think himself, judging anyone, much less his brother who
hadn’t
lied to her the way
he
had?
But there he sat, self-righteous and indignant and just so damn fine she wanted to slap the smirk off his face.
Had he always looked so cocky or did she just notice it now because he’d angered her?
You can’t stay angry with him forever.
Jax’s words haunted her, poking her conscience. She couldn’t stay angry forever, except in Jess’s case, she wasn’t willing to forgive him so fast and easy either.
Why did she assess him so harshly? She’d forgiven James for repeated affronts just as bad or worse than Jess’s. Why didn’t he deserve her forgiveness when James had?
She’d expected so much more from Jess that’s why. He had disappointed her, skewed her perception of the sweet if also somber little scamp she used to remember. And these, more than any lie he could have told her, hurt the most.
Jess smoothly dismounted his horse and made his way over to Tamara and Jax.
He didn’t hesitate to haul back his fist and strike his brother in the jaw.
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Jax went down like a marionette that’d had its strings cut.
Tamara jumped between him and his brother as Jax rebounded to his feet and took two steps forward. She planted a palm in each man’s chest. The frantic beat of their hearts vibrated through her arms right down to her toes—so much wasted energy that could have been better directed elsewhere. “Stop it right now.”
Shaking the hand he had used to punch Jax, Jess pushed against her hold.
Tamara looked at the hand he flexed and grinned. “Hurts, huh? It serves you right.” She fisted a bunch of his shirt in her hand and pulled him forward so that his face poised less than an inch from hers.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” But she knew what was the matter and could see what she had imagined had earlier been her own look of betrayal on Jess’s face now.
Why did
he
look betrayed?
“Nothing’s the matter,” he grumbled. Then he thrust out his injured hand to point at Jax simmering behind her. “I
trusted
you.”
“Trusted him to what?”
“That’s between him and me.”
“Not if it involves me, it isn’t.” She turned to Jax who busied himself rubbing his jaw and chin, his gaze pinned to Jess’s face.
“Well? What’s going on?”
“Like he said. It’s between him and me.”
He still didn’t look at her. So it was like that, huh?
Did he feel guilty? Had these two already been tossing around the possibility of sharing her? Had Jax betrayed him by going behind his back to make a play for Tamara on his own?
No, Tamara didn’t think so. She sensed something more than just the twins plotting to have her at the same time.
And how could she be so
calm
about the prospect of a premeditated threesome?
Tamara shook her head, didn’t even want to go deeper to analyze the reasons for her serenity and acceptance. She had a feeling she’d be Ebook piracy is stealing. It is a federal offense.
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shocked at what she’d find—that she wasn’t daddy’s innocent little girl anymore and hadn’t been for a very long time.
Suddenly, she remembered how Jax had gone out of his way to defend Jess to her earlier, and she realized he hadn’t only been making a play for himself. He’d been trying to smooth things over with her for Jess too.
Tricky, tricky.
She released them and smiled grimly. “I see.”
Both of them turned concerned looks on her and Tamara couldn’t figure out who rushed to whose defense the fastest when the brothers chorused, “It’s not what you think!”
Jax caught her by the arm. “Tam, don’t be upset. I only did what I had to do to make you see—”
“What?” She jerked her arm from his grasp. “That you’re a bigger asshole and jerk than your brother?”
“Hey!”
Tamara turned on Jess then. “And you, coming here all vengeful and holier-than-thou. How
dare
you attack Jax when for the last half-hour he’s done nothing but sing your praises! And frankly I don’t know why. You’re not worth the trouble.” She moved to push by Jess, and he caught her by an arm to stop her mid-stalk—so much for her melodramatic departure.
“Tam, please.”
The mere fact that his deep voice didn’t break or soften—not one iota—at her attack had
her
ready to break at his strength and arrogance. The
please
notwithstanding, he didn’t sound very conciliatory or balled up at all—authoritative maybe and ready to make her see things his way, but not conciliatory in the least.
Tamara closed her eyes and swallowed, afraid to turn and look at him, knowing that one look at those earnest azure eyes and her willpower would just up and die a not-so natural death.
“Tamara…”
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She felt herself being pulled back into Jess’s arms and didn’t struggle. She wanted this, had missed the feel and smell of him, despite the fact that she stood half-naked and had been all up in Jax’s half-naked personal space not several minutes ago.
This wasn’t the same.
They
weren’t the same. They were two separate entities—
two
being the operative word—two men that she
wanted.
The latter should have made her pull away, but it didn’t, and when Jess’s arms came around her in a tender hug that had her choking back tears, Tamara still didn’t struggle.
He bent his head to circle the shell of her ear, licking and nibbling her lobe before he moved farther down to nuzzle her neck. “I’ve missed you,” he murmured against her skin.
Tamara didn’t trust herself to speak so just settled for a soft moan as she pushed back against him and felt the expected hard-on pressing just above her ass.
Jess hissed then cursed before lightly nipping her throat. He slid a hand down her body until he reached the waistband of her lacey boy shorts. He eased his hand into her underwear, cupping her heated mound before thrusting his middle finger passed her moist folds.
Tamara vaguely wondered where Jax had gone to before Jess added another finger and made the outside world go away completely.
She didn’t want to pause to consider that they fucked out in the open and not-so-broad-daylight, or that anyone could come up on them the same way Jess had come up on her and Jax.
When she got with Jess, with either twin, she didn’t want to think—just feel.
What kind of sickness did she suffer?
“I want you,” he murmured.
“I know.”
He chuckled against her throat. “Do you want me too?”
She wanted to tell him not to ask ridiculous questions, but settled for nodding.
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“I want to hear you say it, Tamara. Say
I want you
.”
Talk about arrogant. The man just barely got out of the doghouse a couple of minutes ago, yet insisted on dictating—
Tamara gasped as he twisted then wiggled his fingers inside her, engaging nerve endings that made her see stars and squeeze her thighs together against the flow of cream from her pussy.
“Say it, Tam.”
Just say it. What’s the big deal anyway? It’s not as if he wants you
to say you love him. Just that you want him. You. Want. Him.
“I want you, Jess.”
He growled. “Between you and Bailey with the stubbornness…”
He slid his free hand into her bra, molding it over her breast as if to prove what made them a perfect fit.
Tamara gritted her teeth against his indictment and the pleasure zinging from her breast, where he pinched and rolled the nipple, straight to her molten center. She squirmed against him, her cunt throbbing and ready for his invasion.
“Private party or can anyone join?”
Tamara’s eyes flew open at the familiar voice drawling the same line she’d said to Jess in the motel room. Had it just been that morning?
She took in Jax standing before her, brandishing two foil packs and a wicked grin. She lowered her gaze to see the blanket he’d spread before their feet to make things more comfortable for them, she guessed. “You’ve been busy.”
“I thought I’d make myself useful.”
She felt Jess tense behind her, thought for sure he’d stop what he did to go after his brother again. But he didn’t. Instead, he delved deep inside her with his fingers as if on a mission and thumbed her clit in rhythm to his strokes until she cried out.
Tamara thrust her hips against his hand, riding it until a powerful orgasm crashed down on her, and she sagged back against Jess.
“My turn.”
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Jax’s words challenged rather than asked permission, but Jess didn’t seem to mind and slowly pulled his hands from her shorts and bra before grasping her shoulders to turn her around to face him.
“Do you want to do this?” he asked.
“I told you I want you.”
“Do you want both of us, Tamara?”
She realized she’d never really answered Jax’s earlier question when he’d asked the same thing. She’d skirted the issue like the well-schooled, successful lawyer she’d trained to be, but she’d never answered him.
Jax approached on bare, silent feet, but Tamara felt him at her back, his body heat and energy reaching out to her like a siren song—
alluring and dangerous.
“Yes,” she said. “I want you both.”