Twice Upon a Time (32 page)

Valentina pulled her top down and smoothed her hair. ‘I thought you were just here for sex,’ she said.

Ludo frowned. ‘If I want sex, I can get sex,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘But I don’t want that. I mean, I do, but I want more than that.’

Valentina looked down at the floor. ‘You don’t mean that,’ she said. ‘You can’t mean that.’

‘I do,’ he said earnestly. ‘I can’t stop thinking about you, I want to speak to you everyday, I want to see you everyday, I want to share my life with you.’

He wondered if he sounded too needy. But he couldn’t help it – she needed to know what he felt.

‘Don’t you feel something too, Valentina? I know you do,’ he reached out and touched her face, gently cupping her chin in his hands.

She shook her head. ‘It doesn’t matter what I feel, Ludo, we can’t be together,’ she said and he saw the pain in her eyes.

‘Why not?’ He didn’t understand – there was no reason that he knew of that they couldn’t be together. Before Perrette came on the scene, it had always been hinted that she and Gus would be a good match. Ludo was Gus’s
twin
, for god’s sake.

‘It’s my father,’ she said, sighing.

‘What? He likes me,’ said Ludo, remembering the man’s warm handshake and greeting.

‘He likes you, but he wouldn’t want me to marry you. He thinks you’re a bad influence. When he heard rumours about us in Africa, he told me there was no way he would ever allow us to be together. That’s why I said what I said when you left.’ She started to cry, and Ludo felt his heart break. ‘And I do like you,’ Valentina continued. ‘Maybe in Africa, I could have allowed myself to fall in love with you. But I can’t put my heart into something that might not work and estrange me from my family and my country.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ said Ludo, standing up and walking over to the marble fireplace. ‘I didn’t realise your father hated our family so much.’

Valentina looked up and shrugged. ‘He doesn’t hate you, he just doesn’t want me to marry you.’ She sighed and then smiled. ‘He did say that I could marry Gus if I wanted.’

Ludo put his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor.
What an absolute disaster
, he thought, resenting his family more than ever before. And then he began to think. The thoughts rolled over him, unbidden, and the more he thought about it, the more he saw how entirely beautiful it could be. He allowed himself to think that it might just work.

He rushed to Valentina and got on his knees in front of her. ‘Do you love me?’ he asked her, looking into her eyes.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ she said sadly.

‘But do you?’ he asked again, his eyes searching hers. ‘Could you love me, Valentina?’

‘I could,’ she said quietly. ‘I do.’

‘Say it,’ he said.

‘I love you,’ she whispered. ‘I love you with all my heart. But I will not defy my parents,’ she said, trying to pull his hand away.

Ludo kissed her hands and then smiled at her. ‘What if I told you that we can be together without you having to defy them?’

‘I’d say you’re crazy,’ she said, but he could tell she was intrigued.

‘Oh, trust me, this is the craziest thing I have ever thought of in my life,’ he said, smiling. ‘Let me tell you about a girl I met in Italy. Her name is Cinda . . .’

39

Gus pulled into the gravel driveway of the winter palace. He had been back in Sardinia for a few weeks, hiding from Perrette, who had insisted on coming to Avignon every day and talking at him until he couldn’t talk anymore.

He didn’t want to marry her. He would care for the child if she chose to have it. He explained it over and over again until he couldn’t listen to any more of her arguments, tantrums and cajoling.

The air was cold when he stepped out of the car, and he pulled his jacket around him as he ran up the steps into the palace.

His mother’s long-time private secretary, Alma, greeted him in the foyer. ‘Her Majesty would like to see you,’ she said with a stern look at Gus.

‘I’ll speak to her later,’ said Gus as he took his jacket off and handed it to the footman at the door.

‘No, she said now,’ insisted Alma firmly, and Gus knew better than to argue with either his mother or Alma.

He followed Alma into the private sitting room where his mother sat surrounded by her three beloved piccolo greyhounds.

‘Augustus, we need to discuss the situation with Perrette,’ she said without preamble.

Gus groaned, wondering what Perrette had been saying to his mother.

‘Her mother has been on and on at me, saying this situation must be resolved.’ Queen Sofia’s face was still as she spoke, and he wasn’t sure if she was just angry or absolutely furious.

Gus sank heavily into the nearest armchair. ‘I don’t know what to do,‘ he said, sitting forward in the chair and putting his head in his hands. ‘I don’t want to marry her. I don’t think I ever really wanted to marry her. But I know I have to,’ he said.

Sofia was quiet for a moment before she spoke. ‘You have treated Perrette very badly and I am disappointed in you,’ she said in a low voice.

Gus winced. He’d always been her golden boy who could do no wrong. He’d only ever heard her use that tone with Ludo.

‘But Mamma,’ he began tentatively, ‘Don’t you think it would be worse if I married her and didn’t love her? What sort of a life is that? She deserves better . . . and so do I.’

One of the dogs came and nuzzled his hand and her stroked her gently, rubbing her ears and smiling a little as he looked into the eyes of the trusting animal.

The queen cleared her throat. ‘You are a good man, Gus, which is why I’m surprised at your behaviour over this. I thought you understood your duty.’

Gus sat back in the chair while the dog settled down at his feet. ‘Have I ever let you down, Mamma? Have I ever embarrassed you or ruined your reputation?’

The queen was silent.

‘I have given up my youth to this family, my other interests, my music, which I know you hated, I stopped.’ Gus said in a rush. He’d never spoken this way to his mother. He looked at her pleadingly. ‘I will not give up my happiness in love.’

‘I never asked you to stop playing music, Augustus,’ Sofia said, shaking her head.

Gus frowned as he thought back. Now that he thought about it, it was Perrette who had insisted he stop. His mother had just looked a little relieved when he’d told her. ‘I don’t know what to do,’ he said slowly. ‘Tell me what to do.’

The queen crossed her legs and looked directly at her eldest son. ‘I know you’ve had a difficult few months, what with Perrette’s pregnancy, Ludo’s disgrace and you having to bear the burden of looking after his Australian girl. Where is she, anyway? Has she gone home?’

‘I have no idea where she is,’ he said turning away from her. ‘So I guess you got what you wanted for him as well, Mamma,’ he added bitterly. ‘I have rid you of your little convict problem.’

His mother laughed grimly. ’I didn’t think she was so bad. I just knew Ludo would soon find another and lose interest, so perhaps I did her a favour.’

Gus stared at her through narrowed eyes. ‘So . . . you would have let Ludo be with her?’

‘If he’d fought hard enough,’ said his mother, shrugging her elegant shoulders. ‘But Ludo never wants anything enough. He likes people to bring things to him. In all likelihood, that girl was too smart for Ludo.’

‘Mamma, that’s your son you’re speaking about,’ said Gus, shocked at his mother’s assessment of his brother.

‘I know, and I love him. But he’s lazy and entitled, which is my fault entirely. I indulged him and scolded you. Perhaps a little less of both might have been better,’ she said, her voice softening. ‘A girl like Lucinda would only end up being frustrated and then resentful of what she could not change. Ludo needs a girl who is his equal, who understands his world.’

Gus paused. ‘And me, Mamma? What do I need?’

Sofia hesitated for a moment. ‘You need to meet your responsibilities. If you choose to have sex before marriage, then you have chosen to take the responsibility that goes with that.’

Gus shook his head in despair, but he knew she was right.

Then his mother leant over and looked him in the eye. ‘Please ask Perrette to call Alma today and make an appointment with the court physician. It’s about time we made sure she has the very best of care, and that our future heir is perfect in every way. She stared at him for longer than was comfortable. ‘Do it now.’

Gus took out his phone, still holding his mother’s eyes, and dialled Perrette’s number.

‘Gus?’ she answered, relief in her voice.

‘Hello, Perrette, how are you?’ he asked formally.

‘Fine. A little sick, but fine,’ she said.

‘I have told Mamma about our news. She would like you to ring Alma and make an appointment with her doctor. He has looked after all the members of the Savoy family for the last twenty-five years,’ he said, still eyeing his mother, who sat back, her face expressionless.

‘Oh, there’s no need, I’ve seen my own doctor,’ said Perrette, a little too quickly.

Gus paused. ‘Mother insists. She wants you checked over before we make any announcements.’

Perrette paused. ‘Fine, I’ll call Alma next week,’ she said, and he could hear the reluctance in her voice.

‘Today,’ he said.

‘Why are you being so bossy about this?’ she snapped.

Gus’s pulse started to quicken. ‘I’m not, Perrette. I want you to have the best care, and as you’re carrying the potential heir to the throne of Sardinia, you need to see the royal doctor. It’s not a request, it’s a command from the queen,’ he said slowly.

‘She’s not
my
queen,’ said Perrette, and she hung up on him.

Gus looked at his mother. ‘She . . . didn’t take it too well,’ he said, his voice heavy with significance.

‘Of course she didn’t. She’s not pregnant,’ said his mother with a sigh.

Gus nodded. ‘I’m beginning to suspect that,’ he said.

‘Yes,’ said Sofia. ‘I expect she would have announced a miscarriage after the engagement. It would have all been very convenient.’

Gus was silent as he stared out the window at the bare trees and the cold skies.

‘I couldn’t have married her,’ he said eventually.

‘I know,
tesorino
,’ said his mother gently, ‘but if she were pregnant I would have made you walk down that aisle, even if I had to drag you myself. I suppose we are lucky. A woman who plays games is not one we want in this family.’

Flashes of Cinda ran through Gus’s head. God, he missed her. The pain was almost too much and he turned away from his mother.

‘Can you excuse me, Mamma?’ he said and, without waiting for an answer, he walked to the door. There, he paused and looked over his shoulder. ‘Thank you, Mammina,’ he said.

She smiled at him. ‘Don’t be in such a rush to find the right one, Augustus. You will know when you find her.’

Gus walked up to his rooms and lay on his bed. He felt like he’d just been let out of a life sentence in jail, but he still felt empty. It still didn’t bring him any closer to Cinda.

At that moment, his phone rang in his pocket. It was Ludo. They hadn’t spoken for months – since he had walked in on Gus kissing Cinda, even though Gus had left endless messages for him, trying to explain.

‘Ludo,’ said Gus tiredly. He didn’t want an argument now, but braced himself for one anyway.

‘Brother, how are you?’ Ludo’s voice was excited and happy.

Gus sat up in his bed. ‘Where are you?’ he asked.

‘Spain.’

‘In Ibiza?’ asked Gus.

‘No, in Madrid. Listen, do you fancy a trip out here?’ Ludo sounded drunk or high or both.

Gus shook his head, wondering what trouble his brother was in this time. ‘What’s happened?’ he asked.

‘Nothing I can talk about over the phone. I just need you to come to the palacio in Madrid,’ Ludo said mysteriously.

‘Should I be worried?’ asked Gus, steeling himself.

Ludo laughed. ‘Have a little faith in me, brother.’ And he hung up on Gus, who shook his head and called for his valet.

‘I need to go to Madrid as soon as possible – tomorrow morning,’ he told the man. The valet nodded and left the room to begin preparations.

Before Gus could do anything else, he had to tell Perrette he knew the truth – and he had the feeling it wasn’t going to be pretty.

Dialling her number, she soon answered.

‘What now?’ she asked impatiently.

‘I know you’re not pregnant,’ he said flatly. He didn’t want to inflame her any more, but there was no point in beating around the bush. He waited for her to explode, but all he heard was a sob.

‘Perrette?’ he asked, concern washing over him.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry.’

He was quiet.

‘I know you hate me.’ She was crying, and he wanted to hate her but he couldn’t. All at once, he remembered the good times they’d had together. They’d been happy as teenagers. It was only in the last couple of years that they’d started to grow apart.

‘I don’t hate you,’ he said gently. ‘I just don’t want to marry you – and one day, I think you’ll realise you don’t really want to marry me either.’

‘But what am I without you, Gus? Everyone loves me because of you – everything I have is because of you.’ She had desperation in her voice.