Twice Loved (6 page)

“I don’t know who Tate is, but it sounds like life doesn’t want you getting away from him.” Michelle speaks up. Her voice soft matching her honey brown hair and cocoa colored eyes. Everything about her makes you warm and cozy. It’s probably why she is one of the best kindergarten teachers at our school. She has a way of making a person feel serene.

I hate to admit it to myself but Michelle has a valid point. It does seem as if the universe is playing a sick cruel joke on me. Constantly throwing Tate back in my life these days as a method of torture, or punishment for all my evil doing.

Pam, the petite blonde hair, sea blue eyed, second grade teacher is staring at me thoughtfully.

“Who is Tate? You’ve been keeping secrets for a long time it’s time to spill.” I hate how perceptive she is. She always has been.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I feign innocence. I’m really not sure our girls night out should be turned into my drama fest.

“Really because about two years ago you were a miserable woman that found out her husband was dying. Suddenly a year later you were happy again yet still upset about Steve. Then you’re miserable and crying all the time.” Pam leans forward on her elbows look me dead in the eye and finishes with “Wanna try again?”

I thought I had masked what was going on in my life better than that. Damn Pam for noticing my moods. I glance to Haley and the only thing she gives me is a slight shrug as if to say it’s up to me what to say or do now.

I fidget with the rolled up silverware in front of me. My fingers roll it back and forth as I contemplate telling my friends about Tate. When a waitress comes to the table and takes my drink order my mind is made up. I pick up the water glass in front of me taking a big gulp. Setting it back down I clear my throat.

“It’s all Haley’s fault.”

“What the hell Lori?” Haley exclaims at the way I start my story.

“It’s true. She had me go out with her one night to a bar. That was the night she met Jake. It was also the night I met Tate.”

Haley and I take turns telling the first part of the story. It’s not until I get to the night I drove Tate home that I take over completely. I don’t go into major details but I tell them how I ended up sleeping with Tate that night and that for the next year we went from friends, to lovers to being in a relationship, albeit a fucked up relationship.

I was married with children. He had a girlfriend. We had to hide everything from everyone except Haley and Jake in the beginning. It was surreal. It was not something I planned or ever dreamed would happen to me.

After the first night with Tate I drove home. I felt guilty as hell. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I spent most of the night by Steve’s bedside crying silently. I was a horrible wife yet didn’t regret what I did with Tate either which made me feel even worse about it. I avoided Tate like the plague for about two weeks. One night he showed up at the bar with Jake and once again I found myself driving him to his cottage. Yet again I found myself falling into bed with him.

“It feels good… let’s go with the flow. No pressure. I’m just a stunt cock for you.”

“Stunt cock?”

“Yes like a stunt double in a movie I’m just a stunt cock for your husband who can no longer pleasure you.”

“I don’t know.”

I was uncomfortable with the idea yet it gave me a thrill at the same time.

“Princess… you know it’s good between us.”

With those few words he won me over.

In the beginning I found a way to go over to his house about once a week so that we could do the bedroom tango. As time went by I was going over a couple nights week then it happened. I should have seen it coming, but I was going with the flow trying not to think about what I was doing.

“Spend the night with me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Princess I want you in my bed in my arms naked all night.”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

It was a week later I found the perfect opportunity to make it happen.

I was nervous pulling up to his house. An overnight bag in the passenger seat beside me taunting me calling me a harlot. I wanted to do this though. I wanted to know what it would be like to spend a whole night with him instead of a few stolen hours here and there. I didn’t know what he told his girlfriend, and I didn’t ask it was none of my business.

Upon entering his house a wonderful aroma hit me.

“I made us dinner.”

“You cook?”

“Sometimes. But I grill a mean burger.”

I giggle.

“I take it we are having burgers on the grill?”

“Yea Princess we are.”

His smile lights up his eyes. I can see he’s happy and so am I. My nerves are forgotten. We spent an hour laughing and talking over dinner. We worked together to clean up our mess before he led me into his living room.

“I figure we could watch a movie.”

“That sounds nice.”

I was feeling butterflies take flight in my stomach again. The nerves were back this felt oddly too much like a date and that he was putting much too much thought into making this night special.

As he flips on the TV I sit nervously my hands smoothing over my jean clad legs I’m not sure what to do with myself.

Tate pulls me into his side tucking me into him tight.

“Relax…”

Right relax. I'm spending the night with a guy who is not my husband. I haven’t been with another man like this in over seventeen years. It’s a little strange.

“Princess. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

“I’m nervous.”

His hand begins sliding up and down my arm in a comforting manner I begin to relax next to him.

Half way through the movie his hands begin traveling my body rubbing me close but not touching the good parts. Tease! His hand comes to my chin turning me to face him before taking me into a deep slow tender kiss. OH MY GAWD! This is HOT and makes me all tingly.

One thing leads to another and I’m being carted into his bedroom. He orders me to strip. I begin sliding my jeans off. He stands a few feet from me watching. Courage I didn’t know I possessed hits me and I begin doing a seductive little strip tease for him.

I am standing naked before him and a low growl comes from him. It’s my turn to watch as he strips down for me. Like a wolf stalking its prey he comes for me. His mouth devours me. The actions and words are lost in the haze of lust overtaking me.

He eventually gets me on all fours and plunges into me from behind, pulling my hair so that my head comes back to his body making hard contact. His lips are on my neck. It’s driving me insane. It’s not long before we both find our release.

Afterward as I lay in his arms, cuddled next to him he speaks.

“I love you Princess.”

“Did you just say that?”

I’m not sure those were the words he was looking for but it’s all that came out of my mouth. I am shocked. How did it go from stunt cock to love in less than three months? The weird thing is I wasn’t opposed to the love.

“Way to ruin a moment.”

“I’m sorry Tate. Really you took me by surprise.”

“I can tell.”

Silence ensues. I can tell that I have hurt his feelings. I feel horrible. I hadn’t thought about my feelings for him. I don’t want to say I love him just because he said it.

“Tate I care about you deeply I know that much but obviously you have thought about our relationship on a level I haven’t and I don’t know what to say to you.”

“It’s okay Princess I get it I shocked you.”

We lay there cuddling naked. I find comfort in his arms. At some point we drift off because I’m awoken in the middle of the night for round two. The next morning everything is fine between us.

As I get ready to leave he kisses me deep.

“I love you Princess and I’m going to give you time to chew on it but we will talk about our relationship.”

“Okay Tate.”

I drive home a mixture of emotions in my head. I’m married yet I’m happy another man just told me he loved me. I like that he loves me. Is it possible I love him too? Did we go from friends to lovers that quickly? I think it’s possible.

“Earth to Lori.” Pam’s voice brings me back to the group in front of me.

“Sorry I got lost in a memory.”

“We could tell by the stupid grin on your face.”

“What?” I’m still lost in my thoughts.

“What were you thinking about?” This time it’s Haley who asks.

“The first time Tate told me he loved me.”

“Oh girl you got it bad for this man. I want to know what the hot mechanic looks like.” Pam chimes.

“Me too.” Michelle now puts in her two cents.

“Yea I kind of ruined it by breaking up with him.”

My shoulders sag as I let out a deep sigh. I was so stupid. I thought I was doing the right thing. Maybe at the time I was. I did need to be there for Steve in the end but Tate would have understood and probably stood by my side when I needed him if I would have let him. He may be an asshole but he always was considerate of my relationship with Steve. Far more than I was of his relationship with LuAnn.

“Let’s head over to the Chrome Pipe. I’m ready to get my drink on.” Haley shifts the conversation away from me and Tate and I give her a small smile of thanks. I should have known she was up to something.

Ten minutes later we pull up in front of the bar. The parking lot is pretty full but not packed. I like when there is a good crowd for karaoke. As we walk through the doors I catch Haley looking around frantically. I wonder what is wrong with her until my eyes fall on the table she has stopped to stare at.

“What the fuck did you do?”

“Oh get your panties out of a twist.”

I am thinking of murder a lot these days. First my son now my best friend. And it all comes back to Tate the asshole. Pam and Michelle are sending Haley and me questioning looks as we stand there. Haley shrugs it off and begins walking toward her boyfriend. I sigh in defeat.

“Come on girls looks like you get your wish to meet Tate.”

“Really?” comes from both of them at the same time. I start following Haley and let the other two follow me.

Jake, Tate, Mike and Pete are sitting at a table. Empty beer bottles all around letting me know they had been there for a while.

“Princess good to see you again.” Tate smirks with a knowing grin.

“What happened to your friend?”

"I got rid of her a better offer came along.”

Oh I want to kill him now. And why am I happy that he got rid of her to come hang out here with us. I am not supposed to like this man at all. That’s right I don’t like him I’m fucking in love with the player. The one I will never have.

Chapter Seven

Haley makes introductions as Tate and I squabble. Damn him for making me feel alive. I’m not supposed to be happy and alive. I’m supposed to be wallowing in my misery. Why can’t anyone get that? My mother in law does and reminds me of it every chance she can get.

“Princess why don’t you have a seat right here.” Tate calls out while patting his lap.

If I was a more timid woman I would have been horrified. Instead my face heats slightly and turn from him and plant myself in Mike’s lap.

“Well hello sweetheart.” Mike says in my ear a little loudly.

“Keep your hands to yourself or I’ll make sure your junk never works again.” The guys wince as the ladies giggle.

I pointedly stare at Tate daring him to say something to me. He is giving me a hard gaze. Yea, he hates that I’m sitting in Mike’s lap. It won’t be long before he does something about it. I could move but I choose to push Tate’s buttons. I want to see what he does.

“Damn girl why you got to be so harsh?” Mike shifts uncomfortably underneath me. I move with him so I don’t end up on my ass on the dirty floor of the bar. I turn to say something to Pam who has sat down in the empty chair next to us when I am hoisted up in the air. I shriek quietly in protest. The all too familiar sensations hit my body at being in Tate’s strong arms. I relax a little knowing I’m safe.

With a plop I find myself now seated in Tate’s lap. Girlish giggles follow. My so called friends are turning into traitors right before my eyes. Mike gives me a sly smile.

“Asshole!”

“Bitch!”

The only words spoken between Tate and me as I settle into his lap like it’s perfectly natural. In some ways it is. There were many a times I found myself sitting in his lap when we dated. It really irks me that I am so damn content to be in his lap his arm wrapped around my middle holding me tight to him. The moisture builds between my legs telling me just how much my body likes it.

This is always how it’s been with Tate. I have had mixed emotions from the beginning. I liked him I didn’t like him I loved him, I hated him, I felt at home with him yet I didn’t. It was a constant battle within myself. The first four months we were together I broke up with him weekly. Well I tried too but I couldn’t walk away from him. It was shortly after he told me he loved me that first time I realized why I couldn’t walk away. I loved him!

“Tate I hear you hired Noah today?” Haley directs her question to Tate and all eyes cut to us, well I guess Tate but I’m sitting in his lap so it feels as if they are on me as well.

“I did. Good kid, hard worker. I like the little shit.”

“Hey that’s my kid you’re calling a little shit!”

He gives me a knowing look. Fine. The kids a little shit but he’s my little shit and I love him.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Don’t get cocky jerkface.”