Twice Loved (28 page)

Tate runs his hands through his hair. His hand drops to his beard stroking it lightly. “Princess, you I want to have a kid with…. her… well I’m seriously hoping she’s lying.”

“What if she isn’t?” I can’t help voicing my fear.

“I’m almost positive she is and when I can figure out how to do it I’m going to prove it.” He says his voice suddenly tense.

“Okay….” I step into him again, “I’m glad you’re happy. I don’t know what I’d of done had you not been pleased.” I snake my hands around the back of his neck an arm encircles my waist. Our lips hover over one another. Then they meet in a slow tender motion. This is not a kiss of lust. This is a kiss of love.

In all the time I have been fighting him I’ve missed feeling this. I was blind to what was right in front of me. Tears threaten once more. Damn! How many times can I cry in one day? This is what I wanted from Tate all along. Was it always here and I just didn’t see it?

We stand there holding one another. Happy that an unexpected blessing has happened to us. There is more for us to figure out but for now we embrace each other and the new chapter in our lives.

Chapter Thirty-Two

A few weeks pass. Tate and I go to the first appointment with the OB. He’s like a big kid. I’m not sure I can handle him being this way for a whole nine freaking months.

“So can I tell Brandy tonight?” Tate asks me. It warms my heart that he wants to share this news with his little girl.

“Yea because she needs to know before I announce it to the whole class.” I say quietly chuckling. Thankfully my due date puts me right after the last day of school and I hope that I make it all the way through. I already know I won’t go back. I stayed home with Olivia and Noah until they started kindergarten. I won’t do any different for this one. I haven’t talked to Tate about it yet but I need too.

One natural progression, Tate and I were living together. We sat down and talked to my kids after finding out I was expecting. He didn’t want to keep going back and forth from my house and his cottage. It made sense for him to move in with us. I had the room he didn’t. And as he pointed out I also had a pool. Haley upon hearing Tate would be moving in decided she needed to get back on her feet.

We spent a weekend at Jake’s packing her stuff and furniture and loading it on to a truck it all now sat in Tate’s cottage until he finished getting all his belongings out. Tate offered to rent his place to Haley he said it made more sense than putting it on the market unsure if it would sell any time soon and just sit empty. Haley was thrilled to move into the cottage and constantly harassed Tate to hurry up and get his shit out!

“We also have to let her know I’ve moved in here with you permanently.” Tate gently reminds me.

“I know.” I sit down on the edge of our bed “I just hope it doesn’t hurt her in the long run. Kids are cruel sometimes.”

“She’s my kid she’ll probably just kick ass.”

I laugh, “That would make my job even harder.”

“Rachel should be here with Brandy soon, should we invite her in and tell her too.” Tate asks me. I love how unsure he is about things right now. It makes me relax knowing I’m not the only one who is at a loss.

“Yea.” I say as I stand from the bed grabbing his hand in mine “Let’s do it we have to tell her anyway or Brandy will.”

“This is true my little girl is a gossip.” Tate says with a jubilant chuckle.

We walk downstairs together hand in hand. Moving into the living room I’m surprised only a bit that there are teens all over the place.

“Are we having a party?” I ask my son who is talking with CJ.

“Funny mom.” Noah smiles mischievously “Actually I wanted to be here with Brandy this weekend so I told the guys to come over and we would hang out here.”

“Oh?” I question. My seventeen-year-old son wanted to spend his weekend with a six-year-old. Was I missing something?

“She’s cool as shit!” he says “and we are going to have a sibling in common soon.” okay I guess he has a point there.

“So y’all will be hanging around all weekend?” Tate asks with a smile, “That means you can babysit tomorrow night and I can take your mom out?”

Noah’s smile only falters a bit before he says “Sure man.”

I bust out laughing at my son. “You are safe Noah, Tate wouldn’t do that when he’s only just getting to see her again.”

Noah turns to face Tate who is grinning like the cat who ate the canary. “She’s right kid I wouldn’t leave my girl this weekend.”

“Y’all suck.” Noah says blandly and CJ and the other two boys in the room laugh. Before Tate or I can answer the doorbell rings.

“I’ll get it.” Tate says and walks off.

“Boys can y’all move to the kitchen?” I look pointedly at Noah “We need to talk to Rachel before she leaves.”

“Yea sure mom.” Noah jumps up immediately “Come on guys?” The four boys swagger into the kitchen. I shake my head at them. Smiling.

Brandy comes running in the room, “Ms. Madison… I mean Lori.” I laugh at her attempt to call me the right name. It’s hard for her right now to transition back and forth. I hug Brandy back as she wraps her arms around my legs.

“Hey Rachel.” I greet her mother. “Please have a seat.”

Tate and I move toward the couch and sit together. Brandy climbs in her daddy’s lap.

“So we thought it best to tell you and Brandy at the same time of some changes.” Tate looks at Rachel whose eyes dart back and forth between the two of us.

“Sounds like its big.” Rachel says quietly. Brandy looks at her daddy as he talks hanging onto his every word while her little arms are wrapped around his ribs.

“Yea well first I’ll start with… I moved in with Lori and her kids.” Tate shifts on the couch showing me how uncomfortable he is with this conversation.

“What that’s great news!” Rachel speaks up a genuine smile on her face. “Brandy will be able to visit more often.” Tate’s body stiffens at her words. Rachel meant it in a good way but Tate is always quick to be defensive. I reach a hand out and lay it gently on his arm.

“Yes you’ll know Brandy is in good hands with her dad, and I’ll be around when he isn’t.” I step in before Tate says the wrong thing.

“Okay so what else you said changes…” Rachel lived with Tate for almost five years she knows how the man works.

“Yea…" Tate shifts Brandy to the floor in front of him “See thing is Brandy is going to be a big sister.”

Brandy’s little head whips around to me, “You’re having a baby?”

“Yes I am.” I tell her while smiling big at her

“Does that mean Olivia and Noah are going to be my big brother and sister?”

Oh wow. I didn’t expect that. How do I answer that? It’s not as if Tate and I have talked about marriage. Just living together and having a baby together.

“Ummm” I look to Tate and Rachel for a little help.

“Brandy, Lori and I aren’t married yet but when we are Olivia and Noah will officially be your step sister and step brother.” He pulls her back into this lap “but until then you can ask them if you can say they are anyway.”

Well go Tate, finding a workable solution and what does he mean we aren’t married yet? I’ve not even been a widow for a year.

“Can I ask them now?” She asks her dad.

“Noah’s in the kitchen with friends Olivia isn’t home yet.” Brandy bounds out of Tate’s lap

“I’m going to ask Noah right now.” Brandy runs out of the living room.

“Rachel I’m sorry.” I start to say.

“No don’t apologize.” she crosses her legs. “If she is going to have a step mom I’d rather you than Luann.” she leans forward a bit more “and the fact you are going to be the mother to her half sibling you have my respect.”

“I don’t know what to say.” tears threaten me again. This crying bullshit is getting old.

“Look Lori, we talked once before about you and Tate and I told you then what I thought and my mind’s not changed.” she looks at Tate and back to me. “Y’all will figure it out when the time is right for you meanwhile congrats and enjoy the weekend.” She stands up and moves to the front Tate. “Brandy come kiss me goodbye.” she calls out Tate stands up and follows her.

I’m left sitting on the couch stunned by what just happened. Brandy is all excited. Rachel is completely cool with Brandy being here. Tate said married yet… still not sure what to do with that.

Tate comes back in the living room. “Where’s Brandy?” I ask him.

“She went back to hang out with the cool kids.” Tate says with a smirk.

“Um the… who?”

“That’s what she said.” Tate is smiling big as he talks. I’m thrilled to see him so happy. It’s the first time since I met him that he seems truly at peace and happy. Now if we can just get rid of LuAnn from his life for real. It will happen I’m determined to make it happen.

“Olivia and Haley should be back soon.” I curl up next to Tate leaning into his side. Tucking myself as close to him as I can. “What are we going to do for dinner? We've got a houseful tonight?”

“Pizza, cheap and can buy plenty.” Tate says quietly as his arm slings around my shoulders. “This is nice.”

“What’s nice?” I ask.

“Being here with you, living with you, starting a family with you.”

“Oh.” an inner quiver travels my body at his words. “It is nice.”

I realize for Tate this is new. It’s nothing like he’s ever experienced before in his life. To me this is just how life has always been. I try to see it from his point of view but it’s difficult for me. I’ve always had an easy life. I came from an average middle class family, one where family was important. Family was something you could count on no matter what trouble you found yourself in.

Tate on the other hand from what little he said and what I learned meeting his father came from a different kind of family. They all sounded like selfish assholes. Love was not freely given by his father. His father was abusive verbally and possibly physically with his mom and Tate and his siblings. It was not a life I understood first hand. I also didn’t know how when you were shown love the good kind you could turn your back on it. For months when Tate and I dated while Steve was alive that’s how I felt he was doing me. Maybe it was a defense for him. He knew I wasn’t going to leave Steve. Was he just protecting his heart back then?

He seemed to have no issue accepting that same love from me. Nor did he have issue trying to love me that way. I saw his love for Brandy evolving as well. Which meant when our baby was born things could only get better. There is hope for the man. He has a good heart. He wants to be better than his upbringing he just hasn’t had a real reason to try. The women he involved himself with before me were not the best women. Rachel was probably one of the better ones but she still had her faults when it came to the relationship she had with Tate. She found solace in another’s arms because Tate was not giving her what she needed. My hope and prayer was for Tate and me not to be that way one day.

I would do everything I could to show him what a real relationship was like. One where there was give and take. One where talking, compromise and hard work were the only way for it to truly last. We could do it together. Ever since my visit to the cemetery things have been so much clearer for me.

“Daddy! Daddy?” Brandy comes running into the room interrupting my internal monologue that I was lost in while Tate watched some show on TV.

“Yes dear?”

“Can I go swimming with Noah? Pleeeeease!” she pleads with her father.

“I suppose.” he tells her with a lazy grin.

"YAY!!!!!” she yells out.

I climb off the couch and take her little hand in mine. “Let’s grab your bag and take you to your room and you can change.” She goes with me a huge grin plastered on her face. I see four teenage boys peeking through the kitchen doorway as I walk by. What surprises me they all have big grins as they watch Brandy walk by.

“You better keep a close eye on her.” I call out to Noah.

“Mom, seriously I got this.” he reassures me. It’s in that moment I get it my son is no longer a little boy he is a young man. For a brief moment it paralyzes me. Steve and I did right by our two kids. No we weren’t perfect parents, but we raised two pretty good kids.

Now I was going to have the same opportunity with Tate to raise a child. Joy fills me, a smile breaks out across my face. This is going to be okay.

Chapter Thirty-Three

The next morning I wake early to Tate pressing his cock into my backside. I just pray to the good Lord above that I am not going to suffer morning sickness. That would really curtail these early morning romps with my man. I enjoy them as much as he does. So far my stomach doesn’t feel as if it’s going to protest so that’s good.

“Tate.” I call quietly. He doesn’t reply to me just presses into me further. “Tate.” I hiss.

“Princess.” he answers me still sounding half asleep.

“What the hell are you doing?” I whisper yell in the darkness.

“Getting me some before my daughter wakes up or I have to go to work whichever comes first.”

I have to refrain from busting out laughing. “Oh good grief, dude you’re a grown man not a sixteen year old boy.”

“No but I still fuck like one.” his words are spoken next to my ear. A very unladylike snort leaves me at the same time.

“What about me?”

“Princess, you fuck like a porn star.”

I’m not sure how to take it. Is that a compliment? “A porn star?”

“Yep you’re my personal porn star.” This time his mouth suckles my neck in. I moan. He grinds into me. I begin turning over. “Don’t move.”

Ugg I’m frustrated but at the same time desire overtakes me. Tate’s hand slides down my body cupping my bare ass cheeks. One thing about sleeping with Tate… clothes are not allowed. Occasionally he might let me wear pajamas but not often. I moan again as his hand massages the globes. His hand slips around to my front diving in between my legs.

“You like this Princess?” his smooth voice asks.

“mmmm…” is the only reply I can give him.

His fingers rubbed over my very moist folds. My legs part naturally for him. I’m not keeping him out. I want him in me. I grind myself against him. It’s his turn to moan.