Twelve Days of Christmas (25 page)

‘You can try it and see, and if not, I’m bringing the ham through as well so we can take the first cut at that: it’s a monster and should last for days.’

Eventually the remains would turn into pea and ham soup,
my
favourite – if I was here long enough to make it.

I slipped out of the back door later and made for the track up the hill to call Laura, but the snow had drifted across it quite deeply in places and the signal was still poor when I had to stop. Then we kept getting cut off, which was frustrating.

I managed to tell her about the ghastly Coco and the handsome love-rat Guy landing on me. ‘And if Guy is like Ned Martland, as they keep telling me he is, then I can understand why poor Gran fell for him, though it’s looking more and more as though he got her pregnant and then abandoned her, just as I feared.’

I lost the signal then, but when I got her back I dropped the final bombshell: ‘But the icing on the cupcake of life is that Jude Martland turned up late last night, too!’

‘But he was supposed to be in America, wasn’t he?’

‘Yes, but he thought I was a cold-hearted, money-grubbing bitch who wouldn’t look after his aunt and uncle after Tilda had her accident!’ I said indignantly. ‘So he just got on the first plane home.
And
I like him even less in person than I did on the phone, if that’s possible.’

‘Hasn’t he got any redeeming features?’

‘He might have one or two,’ I admitted reluctantly, ‘but the annoying parts outweigh them.’

‘So, why aren’t you on your way home, then?’

‘We seem to be snowed in and none of us can escape, unless we get a sudden thaw.’

‘Sounds like a fun house-party, then!’

‘Yes, I agreed glumly. ‘The only good thing is that Jude brought an actor called Michael Whiston with him.’

‘Oh, I’ve heard of him, he’s very attractive!’

‘Yes he is, and also a really nice man and – oh, damn!’ The connection had cut for the third time, so when I got her back I said, ‘This is hopeless, so I’ll give up and try again tomorrow. Give my love to the family.’

‘And Sam?’ she asked hopefully, but then the signal symbol vanished once more and I shoved the phone back into my pocket and trudged back down the hill, where no-one except Merlin had noticed my absence.

The afternoon was beginning to grow dark and I, at least, was getting worried about Michael and Coco, when the familiar tractor appeared up the drive, this time with a gritting trailer behind it and a youth at the wheel who I guessed from his silver-gilt hair to be George’s son, Liam.

Crammed into the cab with him were our two missing refugees. By the time I’d opened the door, Liam was helping a drunk, tearstained and dishevelled Coco out of the cab, followed by Michael, who was looking long-suffering and carrying one of Oriel Comfort’s inspirational hessian bags:
Raindrops Are God’s Tears of Joy
.

Liam gave me a wink and a knowing grin that I found hard to interpret – or perhaps didn’t
wish
to interpret – then jumped back into the cab and roared off, spraying a generous flourish of grit as he went.

‘I see you found the shop open?’ I said to Michael, with a nod at the bag, and he smiled.

‘Once I’d seen the state of the roads it occurred to me that since we were clearly going nowhere for Christmas, I ought to contribute a bit to the festivities here. Then once I was in the shop, something came over me.’

‘You mean Oriel Comfort came over you: she’s
very
persuasive. You should see what I bought last time! But come in, you both look freezing.’

Since Coco seemed likely to remain drooping there like a half-melted candle, Michael took her arm and towed her in after him. ‘We’re not too cold, actually – we were freezing when we got to the village, of course, but I left Coco in the pub to phone her parents and thaw out while I was in the shop.’

‘So I see,’ I closed the front door and surveyed her. She swayed slightly and blearily focused her ice-chip eyes on me.

‘Mummy said Daddy had the flu, so Christmas and our engagement party were cancelled anyway! She said there was no point in my rushing back, I should stay here – but they never liked Guy anyway.’

‘Right . . .’ I said soothingly, removing her waxed coat and hanging it up on a peg, then pushing her down and pulling off her wellingtons, while Michael divested himself of his own borrowings.

‘And when I said what about my presents, because I was
so
looking forward to finally getting a Birkin bag, she said, “What Birkin bag?” Coco continued in a high-pitched whine. ‘Can you believe it? I told her months ago to get on the list for one, because it was what I wanted for Christmas, and the stupid cow forgot!’

‘I don’t think you should call your mother a stupid cow,’ I said, any feelings of faint sympathy vanishing abruptly. Coco had all the warmth and emotional depth of a winter puddle: how on earth could seemingly intelligent men like Jude and Guy ever have fallen for her?

She gave me another bleary look and said rudely, ‘Who cares what
you
think?’ Then she heaved herself up. ‘I’m going to have a hot bath.’

‘Let’s hope she doesn’t fall unconscious and drown in it,’ Michael said, though not with any great concern, so she must have tried even his good nature and patience to the limit. ‘I think I’ll go up and follow suit, if that’s all right?’

‘Yes, good idea. Come on, I’ll make you a hot drink to take with you. Did you have any lunch?’

‘Yes, bread and cheese in the pub, though Coco’s lunch was entirely liquid, as you see. Her parents should have christened her Vodka, not Coco.’

As his contribution to the festivities, Michael had very thoughtfully bought two large boxes of chocolates and three bottles of the special sherry from the pub that Nancy had told him the older members of the party favoured.

‘Oh good,’ I said, relieved. ‘Becca brought some, but the way they knock it back, it wasn’t going to last. And the chocolates will go down well, too.’

‘I’ve also got a small gift for everyone,’ he admitted, ‘from Mrs Comfort’s
Sunbeams are God’s Thoughts
range.’

‘I bought a few things too, but mine are mostly edible gifts. I’m going to put them under the tree later.’

‘I’ll do the same, then, and I’ve bought wrapping paper, but if you have a roll of Sellotape I could borrow, that would be great.’

He’s such a nice, kind, thoughtful man and I really like him! I’m going to give him one of the extra jars of sweets I’ve already wrapped. I suppose I should give one to Coco, too, but she isn’t going to want sweets, I wouldn’t have thought: too full of sugar.

And nothing, in her eyes, will compare to her longed-for Birkin bag, anyway.

Chapter 25
Christmas Carol

Jude and Jess did the horses together to give Becca a rest and then Guy, all charm, offered to lay the dining table (we were dining more formally tonight, it being Christmas Eve) and help me in any other way, and I took him up on it. He and Michael (who had come back down with his wrapped gifts and put them under the tree), did all the donkey work and carried things through for me.

When everything was under control in the kitchen and everyone was in the sitting room, including a sullen and still not entirely sober Coco dressed in something scarlet and scanty, I took in a tray of filo pastry savoury starters and stayed for a drink.

Michael had presented his sherry and chocolates to Tilda, presumably as titular presiding lady of the house, the alpha female of our wolf pack. He was now so much in favour that when everyone else had gone through to the dining room and he was helping me to carry through the main course, he told me he felt just like an invited house guest and that he thought Christmas at Old Place would probably be more fun than with the friends he was intending to stay with.

‘It’s certainly going to be different to any Christmas
I’ve
ever had,’ I said, and told him a little about my Strange Baptist upbringing and how I had only really celebrated Christmas in a religious way, apart from the all too brief years of my marriage.

‘And then my husband died in an accident at this time of year, and my mother too – and now my gran, who brought me up: so you see, celebrating Christmas doesn’t come naturally to me!’

‘No, I can see why you would much rather have ignored the whole thing,’ he agreed, and then gave me a kind hug. ‘Poor Holly!’

Jude, who had just come into the kitchen, stopped dead on the threshold. ‘I came to see if you wanted me to do anything for you – but Michael seems to have got that covered,’ he said rather surlily and went out again, closing the door with a near slam.

‘What’s biting him?’ I exclaimed.

‘I expect he thinks we’re getting a bit too friendly,’ Michael said with a grin. ‘He’s probably jealous.’

‘Don’t be daft, he doesn’t like me, so why should he be jealous? Maybe he disapproves of the help getting matey with the guests?’

‘But Coco seems to be the only one who thinks of you as staff.’

‘She appears to be transferring her affections from Guy to you, have you noticed? You’d better watch your step, Michael!’

‘I will, but I expect it’s only because she thinks I can help her into acting – which I can’t, of course, even if she can act, which I doubt very much.’

‘No, I should think she can only play one part: Coco,’ I agreed.

The dining table looked lovely, with a red damask cloth and red candles in the silver holders.

Coco remained silent and sullen for most of dinner, eating little and drinking too much and Jude had gone quite morose too, though he doesn’t appear to be a laugh a minute person anyway. But everyone else seemed in good form even though Jess was clearly over excited about the approach of Christmas Day.

Tilda even complimented me on the pheasant pie and said she couldn’t have done it better herself, though I noticed that Coco merely scraped a little of the middle out of her piece and ate it with about a teaspoon of vegetables. Then she reacted with loathing when offered trifle.

‘But it’s lovely! I did the cream and decorated it, didn’t I, Holly?’ Jess said.

‘Yes, you made it look beautiful. How about an apple or clementine, then, Coco? Or a little cheese?’

‘Cheese is full of fat and I hate fruit.’

‘So what do you usually eat at home?’ I asked curiously.

‘If anything,’ Jude said,
sotto voce
.

‘Steamed fish and edamame beans,’ Guy said with a grimace.

‘Oh, there’s lots of fish in the freezer, Coco – in fact, we’re having a whole salmon on Boxing Day. But there aren’t any edamame beans.’

‘I don’t even know what they are,’ Jess said.

‘They’ve only really got popular lately – stars seem to eat them a lot. I don’t know why, because I don’t find them very exciting,’ I said.

‘I’m sure
Michael
knows what they are,’ Coco said, her intimate smile clearly meant to show that they inhabited the same, more sophisticated, world. Now she’d had another glass of wine she’d perked up again, unfortunately, and was turning the full battery of her charm on Michael. He began to look a little nervous.

She said she was sorry she’d been upset earlier, but knew he would understand the artistic temperament. Then she told him all about the facial elixir advert all over again, and how her agent was going to send her for an important role in a new film, and kept on and on, even when Jess sighed loudly and said, ‘We know all about that already, Horlicks!’

But this slightly febrile cheerfulness waned a little when we went back into the sitting room and she spotted the heap of gifts under the tree, because they reminded her that she wasn’t going to get her Birkin bag.

Jess, who had been lovingly fondling the ones with her name on, said, ‘You have got some presents, at least three, Horlicks.’

‘I can’t imagine why you keep calling me by that silly name,’ she said, but looked slightly mollified, though I didn’t imagine that she was going to be delirious with pleasure to receive Michael’s Oriel Comfort-inspired gift, or the jar of bath scrub I’d hastily whipped up in the kitchen from sea salt, olive oil and essential lavender oil.

I didn’t know what the third one was, though going by the rather slapdash wrapping, Jess had put it there. I hoped it wasn’t something horrid.

Jude insisted on making the coffee and bringing it through to the sitting room while I relaxed, which was unexpectedly thoughtful of him, though the gesture was spoiled because he also brought the petits fours I’d intended for Boxing Day. Now I’d have to make some more.

The coffee was good, so he’s not entirely devoid of kitchen talents. He certainly seemed to like marzipan . . .

‘Do you happen to have any more ground almonds at the lodge if I run out?’ I asked Tilda.

‘Oh yes, I’m sure we have – Edwina uses them a lot. Do go down and rummage in the kitchen and fetch anything you need,’ she said graciously.

The men went to play snooker in the library and Coco drifted aimlessly after them.

‘Do you think she’s anorexic?’ Becca said. She was puzzling over the big jigsaw, which hadn’t got very far yet. I leaned over her shoulder and moved some pieces of the edge from one side to the other: it was pretty obvious where they went from my angle.

‘She does seem to vanish for ages after every meal,’ Tilda said. ‘Not that she eats much anyway. Maybe she’s throwing it back up?’

‘She eats loads of laxatives,’ Jess said unexpectedly. ‘That’s weird, isn’t it?’

‘How do you know?’ I asked, surprised.

‘I saw her eating what looked like a handful of sweets when she thought she was alone, so I had a look in her handbag and it’s stuffed with packets of Fruity-Go. Her bedside table drawer is, too, and she’s forever going to the loo.’

‘Jess, darling, you really shouldn’t root about in other people’s rooms,’ Tilda said mildly. ‘But no wonder she spends ages in the bathroom!’

‘That must be how she stays as thin as a tapeworm,’ Becca agreed. She and Jess helped carry out the coffee things and then went to play Monopoly with Tilda while I stacked the dishwasher, cleared up the kitchen and fed Merlin.

When I went back into the sitting room, everyone had returned and Guy, Michael and a bored Coco were grouped around the jigsaw puzzle. Jude, Tilda and Jess were finishing a game of Monopoly which Tilda won, a veritable property tycoon.

Noël seemed to be waiting for me. ‘Ah, there you are, m’dear – just in time for a Martland family tradition.’ He picked up a leather-bound copy of Charles Dickens’s
A Christmas Carol
, and began to read aloud, rather beautifully.

Even Coco stopped her restless movements and fixed her eyes on him, though when he reached the part with the ghosts she kept casting nervous glances over her shoulder, as if one might be standing right behind her.

We all applauded at the end and Noël stood up to take a modest bow. ‘Thank you! We used to read a few scenes from
Twelfth Night
, too – but on New Year’s Eve.’

Coco came alive and avidly seized on this. ‘
Twelfth Night
? I know that, we had to do it at school. There are lots of boring bits that are supposed to be funny, but quite a lot of mixed-up love scenes, too.’

‘I’ve played Sebastian in the past, at Stratford,’ admitted Michael.

‘Then perhaps we should revive the tradition and you could take the part again?’ suggested Noël.

‘Assuming you’re still here by New Year’s Eve,’ Guy said.

‘We could do it earlier if the roads thaw and it looks like we can get away, can’t we?’ Coco said, and then enthused, ‘And why can’t we
act
out the parts, not just read them?’

‘I suppose we could, if you want to,’ Noël said. ‘We have several printed copies of the scenes we used to use in the library.’

‘You can be Sebastian, Michael, and I will be the fair Olivia,’ Coco said, striking a pose. ‘Guy, you can be Orsino and I suppose Holly had better be Viola, seeing she’s Sebastian’s twin and she can look like a man.’

‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘But that doesn’t work really, does it? Sebastian and Viola are supposed to be very like each other.’

‘The audience will just have to use their imaginations, then,’ she snapped, and I could see she was angling to do her love scenes with Michael. However, from what I recalled of the play, that left me to fall for Orsino.

‘I hate acting,’ Guy said. ‘I don’t even perform in the Revels, so it’ll have to be Jude. Noël will link the scenes as usual and prompt, and I’ll be your admiring audience with Tilda, Jess and Becca.’

‘I’m not much of an actor either,’ Jude said.

‘Or me,’ I put in hastily.

‘Well then, you and Holly can just read the parts, okay?’ Coco said impatiently.

She was the only person really keen on doing any acting, presumably to show off her skills to Michael and, perhaps, to get a little closer to him. However, no-one put up much of a protest and Noël said he would find the printed parts the next day.

I expect we were all too relieved that Coco had found something to occupy herself with to object and she became quite animated while talking with Michael about rehearsing.

But still, I thought we would be long gone by New Year’s Eve, and she would abandon the play like a shot if she could get away!

Tilda decided to go to bed and ordered Jess upstairs too, though she didn’t want to go.

‘I’m too excited, I’ll never sleep.’

‘Then Father Christmas won’t come,’ Tilda told her.

‘Oh, Granny! The presents are all here, and I know it was Mummy who did the stocking last year, because it was so awful. I’m not even hanging one up this time.’ But she trailed off after her.

‘It’s very late, but it’s been a pleasant evening,’ Becca said and Noël agreed, ‘Yes, best get off to bed myself too, I think.’

Even Coco seemed ready to go up – all that emotion and alcohol must have been exhausting, though I noticed she lingered long enough to look at her presents under the tree, which was sort of
slightly
endearing: twenty-four going on five.

Saying good night, the party broke up and vanished one by one, except for Jude, who went to let Merlin out for a last run and check on the horses. I banked the fire up and collected a couple of abandoned sherry glasses and was in the kitchen washing them up when he came back in. Snow flecked his dark hair, so it must have been coming down thick and fast.

Merlin greeted me as if he hadn’t seen me for a month instead of a few minutes and Jude regarded him with disfavour. ‘That creature must have gone senile in my absence, I think he’s forgotten who he belongs to!’

‘That reminds me, I must wrap his present up when he’s not looking.’

‘You got my dog a present?’

‘Just a large rawhide bone from Oriel Comfort’s shop. She really does stock everything, doesn’t she?’

‘So much so that I expect her shop to suddenly explode under the strain one day,’ he agreed. ‘I don’t suppose you’ve some spare Christmas wrapping paper? Only I got a few things in the airport on the way home, when I had time to kill between flights.’

‘Yes, Mrs Comfort only had huge rolls of the stuff so there’s plenty left, even though Michael’s had a bit, too,’ I said, getting the paper out of the cupboard.

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, ‘I bet he has!’ then headed out, stopping on the threshold to ask, ‘You
are
going to bed now?’

‘Yes, I just have one or two last things to do down here first.’

He looked at his watch. ‘I almost forgot – it’s nearly midnight and, snow or not, Richard will be at the church. Come on!’

Grabbing my hand, he towed me through the silent house to the front door, which he unlocked and threw open. A flurry of snow touched my face and faintly on the breeze I heard the distant, magical sound of church bells in the valley below.

‘Merry Christmas!’ Jude said as they stopped. Above our heads the bunch of mistletoe revolved in the breeze and he stood very still, looking down into my face. Then, as if driven by some compulsion he would have preferred to have resisted, he bent his head and quickly brushed his lips against mine.

I shivered, but the surprise made me acquiescent, and I was still standing in the open doorway, snow whirling round my head and my face tilted up to his, when he just as suddenly turned on his heel and went off without another word.

Men!

* * *

I transferred the sausage and bacon rolls, stuffing and bread sauce from the freezer to the fridge before I went upstairs to my room.

I’d hidden all the items that were to go into Jess’s Christmas stocking in my wardrobe, so when I’d changed into the unexciting long white cotton nightdress and robe that Gran had made for me to the archaic pattern she favoured herself, I laid everything out on the bed next to a large sock. A
very
large sock.