Turner's Rainbow 2 - The Rainbow Promise (43 page)

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It was later than usual when Sarah awakened the next morning. She was alone in her bed and for one confused, painful moment, she thought she had dreamed last night. Then she saw Luke standing at the window, leaning against the sill and looking out. She lay for a moment, admiring his lean form.

"Good morning," she said almost shyly.

He turned, his familiar smile lighting his face. Sarah realized how rarely she had seen that smile the last few months. "Good morning." He strolled back to the bed. "Sleep well?"

There was a knowing quality to his grin that made Sarah blush even as it set up a warmth in her loins. "Very."

Luke sat down on the side of the bed and bent to kiss her. "I love you." He brushed her tangled hair back from her face.

"I know." She smiled up at him and reached up to tenderly touch his bruised face. "Are you all right?"

He shrugged and shook his head. "It's nothing. I've had a lot worse before. It doesn't even make a dent on how happy I am."

"Are you? Really? Are you back for good?"

"For good. And I don't imagine there's any man happier than I am right now."

Sarah swallowed against the lump in her throat. She had a million questions, but she was afraid to question a miracle. Luke saw the curiosity and the hesitation in her eyes, and he smiled.

"You're wondering what happened?" Sarah nodded. "I'm not sure exactly. All of a sudden last night I saw how wrong I'd been." He pulled her into his arms and held her, kissing the top of her head. "What a tiger you are! When you burst into that barn last night, your hair flying, wearing just your nightclothes and carrying that rifle—I was so proud of you, so crazy in love with you. You're right. You don't belong on a pedestal. You're real flesh and blood. Not fragile, not an angel. I thought, that's my Sarah, fierce, loyal, and tough as an old boot sometimes. And I knew I wanted what I had: you as you are, not some ideal, not some statue."

He paused and sighed. "But you scared the hell out of me, too. I could see you getting killed right in front of my eyes. I felt angry and helpless because I couldn't protect you. Afterwards, I realized that no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't protect you from everything. Something like that could happen, no matter how well I guarded you against myself. I finally understood that your life isn't mine to control. I can't make you stay alive if that's what's fated for you. I could lose you for a hundred other reasons, and all I'd get from staying away from you is making whatever time we have together miserable."

"Oh, Luke." Sarah squeezed him tightly, choked with emotion.

"I thought about it all the way into town and back. There's danger in your getting pregnant; I could lose you, and I don't know what I'd do if that happened. But you are willing to risk it, and it's your decision to make. You're a fighter, Sarah. You aren't ruled by fear; you meet life head-on," He chuckled. "I bet if you'd been in the same situation as Dovie yesterday, you'd have jumped up on that horse behind me, same as she did."

"Of course I would!" Sarah exclaimed, jerking away to glare at him indignantly. "How could you think I'd do anything else?"

"I know. I know. You're the fiercest woman anywhere. Come back here, lioness." He pulled her back into his arms. "I used to be like that, ready to face whatever danger there was. But the past few years, since I've been married to you, I've gotten scared. I've been so happy that I was more and more scared of losing it. Since you lost the baby, I've been run by my fear. All I could think about was how I couldn't stand to lose you. No matter if it made us both miserable, no matter if it made you hate me, I had to do anything I could to keep from losing you. But when I finally realized that I can't control it, I knew I had to put away my fear. All I can do is face it, no matter what comes, like you do, and enjoy the good and fight the bad,"

Sarah rubbed her cheek against his chest. "I love you so. I don't ever want to be parted from you again, in any way."

"We won't be. No matter what, we'll be together. I could die tomorrow, or you could, and we'd still be a part of each other." He kissed her, and they drew apart, smiling. "You know, I was standing at the window this morning, thinking about a long time ago when I finally admitted I loved you. Then the rain came and saved our crop. And we looked out and saw a rainbow,"

Sarah nodded, "I remember."

"You always believed in that rainbow. But deep down I didn't. I couldn't. I didn't think I was good enough. That I didn't deserve you. You were too fine for me. I was rough and crude and poor and uneducated."

"Oh, Luke!"

"I felt better about myself than before—because of you. I got to where I thought maybe I was as good as other people. But when you lost the baby and almost died, I knew it was because of me. Because I wasn't worthy of you. I had never really believed in my soul that the good things would remain, that I had really changed. But last night, you said you loved me and would always love me, no matter what. And I thought to myself—Turner, if a woman like Sarah loves you that much, if she believes you're worth something, how can you say that's wrong? A woman like you doesn't give her love to somebody worthless. I realized the rainbow was there for me, too, and it was just me that was keeping me from seeing it."

Tears ran down Sarah's cheeks. She reached up and kissed him all over his face—brief, hard kisses that spoke of her love and determination. "You're the best man in the world, and I love you to death."

She kissed him hard, and their lips opened, tongues meeting and twining. When at last they pulled away, Sarah said breathlessly, "We're going to have a fine life. We have a home and each other and two lovely children and maybe someday more. That's all I'll ever want in life."

Luke kissed her again, pulling her back flat onto the bed. He raised up on his elbow and gazed down at her, his hand trailing over her bare skin. Sarah giggled. "Luke! It's late. What about the children?"

He grinned. "Why, you just said what wonderful kids they are. Cal'll take care of Emily. They'll be all right. Right now you are exactly where you belong."

Sarah smiled up at him and curled her arms around his neck. "You're exactly right."

She pulled him down to her.