Turn The Page (Kissed by A Muse Book 2) (8 page)

‘Oh.’ Ryan was quiet for a moment, appraising her- his eyes running up and down her, and softening. Leigh lifted her chin and tried not to look psychotic. ‘So… you thought I was playing some character intentionally?’ his brow creased when Leigh nodded. ‘Okay… but what does it even matter if I was? It’s just a book, for fuck’s sake. That’s like a fan of Joan Jett smacking Britney Spears over the head because she covered I love Rock ‘N Roll.’

Leigh laughed, thinking of some of the obsessed, fan-girling readers she knew and how crazy they could get, and then thinking of One Direction Fans and how crazy they could get, and shrugged at Ryan. ‘What makes people act more passionately, than books and music? And that book is pretty huge at the moment and has been for a while. I mean, it got me to Niagara Falls when originally, I planned to end the Canadian leg of my tour in Halifax, and then go back to New York via Vermont...’ She held out her hands. ‘But here I am.’ She glanced over her shoulder and sighed with relief when she saw how many blue-poncho wearing people had converged around the gangplank of The Maid Of the Mist. She could bolt before the conversation got any more embarrassing, or before his softened demeanour could make him that much more beautiful in her eyes. ‘And speaking of my tour… I have to-’ she jerked her head towards the boat.

Ryan stepped up, so that they were eye to eye. ‘Wait… you’re just gonna drop me on this and then leave?’

‘Um… yeah?’ Leigh glanced at the book in his hands. ‘I mean, what I else can I say? Okay, I owe you an apology, I guess-’

‘By my count, you owe me at least five.’ His expression became contrite, and he lifted his thumbnail to bite down on it again. ‘As I owe you, for being so presumptuous. But… can’t we talk about this? I mean… I have so many questions!’

‘But I don’t have any answers for you Ryan, not unless they’re about plot twists and whatnot. If you want to shift what you know about yourself into the non-fiction section, then you need to talk to this Imogen woman, or your friends or-’

‘Imogen’s dead,’ he said, looking forlorn. He slid his hand down to tug on his chain again and squint out at the boat, and his eyes were bluer than the ice shelves forming on the top of the falls, even in profile as he added softly: ‘And she was my only friend.’

Oh my god... he’s all alone! What happened to her? How did he get to be here? On a scale of one to ten, how evil is it that I keep looking at his ass every time he twists around?

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered, thinking how odd it was that both he and the fictional him had lost a girl via tragedy.

‘Yeah, I know…’ he wet his lips and looked back at her. ‘Please, Leigh… I don’t want to be alone right now. I know that you and I haven’t exactly hit it off… but we don’t have to hate on each other now that we’re both on the same page with clear eyes, do we?’

Leigh felt butterflies flutter within her tummy, and wished that she had a teeny tiny can of bug spray to swallow. She looked him in the eye, and scanned them for traces of deceit. ‘I don’t think it’s the best idea given how easily we manage to piss each other off...’

‘We’ll be fine.’ Ryan laughed and patted her shoulder as he walked toward the ticket office, and his sudden upswing in mood made her wonder just how lonely the guy was, to find the prospect of her prolonged company, soothing. ‘People are like songs, you know? The most annoying ones, are the ones that are guaranteed to make you grin every time you think of them forever, even if you do shake your head- they end up holding the top spots on the soundtrack to your life...’ he winked at her as her knees turned to noodles. ‘Anyway, hold that thought- I’ll be back in a minute...’

Leigh didn’t have to hold that thought however, because he’d just quoted one of her favourite lines from the book verbatim. Rocked all over without him having played a note, Leigh turned to the railing and stared down the river, shaking her head, stupefied and uttered the F-word for the first time in her life.

‘What the fuck is going on?’

The falls poured on behind her, whispering secrets to the wind, and sweeping her question downstream where the answer lay at the bottom of the oblivious waters.

Seven

L
eigh felt ridiculous in her poncho and began to overheat twenty seconds after she’d first donned it, feeling smothered by the way it clung to her skin of her neck and wrists, while the jacket she’d kept on beneath it, at Ryan’s insistence, warmed her until she began to feel nauseous.

But the moment that the boat began to move, Leigh understood why Ryan had advised her to keep it on, because the brumal wind whipping up off the white water reached under her clothes like frigid, relentless fingers. She zipped her iPad into her bag after fetching out her phone, choosing to take photos with that and risk losing it over the side of the boat rather than her new ‘baby.’

‘I can’t believe you went out and bought an iPad when you had a free one just sitting there,’ Ryan said, taking her bag over the crook of his arm and steering her towards the side of the boat so that they could get a better view. He had to speak loudly to be heard over the barge’s engine and the whooshing water, but he still managed to keep his tone intimate and conversational. ‘I seriously didn’t want it.’

‘I didn’t want a hand-out,’ Leigh said, marvelling at the way his hand spanned from one of her shoulder blades to the other while afraid that she was going to start sweating again because he was touching her. ‘I get them a lot, and I’m over it. If I drop something, I should pay to replace it, you know?’

Ryan looked down at her, his expression thoughtful. ‘Actually, I sort of do. The woman who rescued me, Imogen?’ He sighed and eased them between two solo figures, sliding his hand down to the middle of her back as he angled himself through the gap. ‘Well, she did a lot more than save me.’

I’ll bet she did...

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah. She came to see me in the hospital every single day after and took care of me. She brought me clothes and treats and when I was ready to be released, she ordered me to come back to her place and live with her until I found a job and an apartment.’ He shook his head and looked out at the falls, smiling faintly. ‘I was like, this stray animal that she wanted to nurse back to health. Days turned to weeks and weeks to months… and even though I knew that I was taking advantage of her kindness, I stayed because the attention was just so healing, you know? It’s funny how a home-cooked meal can fix what medication can’t.’

‘She sounds very… hospitable,’ Leigh ventured, holding out her hand and catching droplets of the horizontal rain blowing across the gorge on her palm, to distract herself from the placement of his palm. ‘You shouldn’t feel bad about taking her help though, because no one offers that much assistance unless they’re getting something from it too- some sort of pay-off.’

Niagara Falls! I’m touching Niagara Falls! Next to Ryan Weaver! Note to self- get a selfie and upload instantly WITHOUT a caption just to see what kind of reaction I get!

‘Well I do, and I can’t help it. I was going to do all this stuff for her, to help her- she has this gorgeous old house that could look like a million bucks with a fresh coat of paint and stuff, and so I was going to be her handyman and work off my debt.’ Ryan’s hand slipped to rest just above Leigh’s tailbone as he pushed her right up to the railing, and heat blossomed from the point of contact outward so fiercely that she inhaled more water droplets than air and began to cough. The nature of his touch changed then- he lifted his hand and slapped her back twice before inching in beside her, turning completely on his side so that they could both fit. ‘But she died just two months later before I’d finished even three rooms and now, I have no way of repaying her.’

Leigh felt wretched for having been overcome with arousal while Ryan had imparted his tale of woe, and prayed that he couldn’t hear her thunderclap of a heartbeat, even over the motor and the whooshing water.

Breathe, relax… he’s just helping you keep your balance the way everyone does. And there’s not a girl in the world who wouldn’t feel this affected in your shoes, remember that.

She wondered how she’d feel if she were in his place, but his shoes were pretty hard to step into, even for someone with her imagination. He was such a mystery! She wanted to ask how Imogen had died, but that seemed like a really personal question, and he was so guarded!

Is he though? Ryan in the book may be, but what’s this guy got to guard?

‘Helping you probably made her feel incredibly good about herself,’ Leigh said, staring up at Horseshoe Falls and shaking her head in awe of the sheer size of them. ‘And that’s the catch with owing someone a favour, isn’t it? It makes you feel like less in comparison to them.’ She knitted her fingers around her phone and leaned sideways against the railing, watching the American side of the falls with their rocky base approach across the way but finding it hard to track the progress, when his eyes kept drawing her gaze to his. ‘The best thing you can probably do to honour her memory, is humbly bow your head in gratitude, and let her be the woman who died as an angel you owe your life to without trying to restore balance.’

‘That’s actually… huh. You’re right, you know… owing her one was bugging me, but not just because of what I didn’t get to do for her, but because of what I didn’t get to prove to her.’ He sighed. ‘But, I guess the fact that she broken my fucking heart when she died is homage enough, right?’ He tousled her hood and the flimsy plastic crackled while Leigh’s heart twisted enviously, imagining how beautiful Imogen must have been to break such a handsome, charming man’s heart by dying after only three months of knowing one another. ‘I don’t know where you fit wisdom inside this tiny little head, but you’ve got some in there.’

‘And I don’t know how you found a poncho to fit that big head,’ she teased right back, although she was kind of annoyed with the way he seemed to view her like her height and size qualified her as a special needs person, who needed to be applauded for every coherent sentence they uttered. That was the story of her life though, and she couldn’t blame him for it. She was small- people assumed that her maturity equalled her height. It drove her crazy, but Leigh had noticed that when it worked to her advantage, it drove other people crazier. Besides, how many assumptions had she made on his character because of THF? It was dizzying to attempt a calculation.

Ryan patted his head, cringing. ‘Ridiculous, aren’t they? Do I look like the epitome of the dorky tourist?’

No. It’s the exact shade of your eyes, you look like an eleven right now, and I’ll be keeping mine forever because you touched it!

‘Yeah,’ she said, smiling softly. ‘But I do too, and I couldn’t be more proud.’

‘For real?’ he complained.

‘Yes.’ Leigh turned to the front of the boat and held out her hands. ‘I mean, look at us, Ryan... We’re standing in front of one of the wonders of the world! Is there anything worth striving to be, more than a dorky tourist? How many people will dream of this over the course of time, but can barely afford to live let alone have such an experience?’ She shook her head in wonder again, feeling sentimental tears well up in her eyes as she watched the water roll over the mammoth precipice and slam into the gorge below. ‘They say don’t go chasing waterfalls right? Well, I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do… so bring on the fanny-packs, and the souvenir post cards and the snow globes of beaches where it never snows, and I’ll store them on my shelf forever like jewels proudly.’ She slipped one of her fingers under her glasses and swiped the tear away and into the gorge, laughing. ‘Ha. And I just left a piece of me here too. Circle of life, right? I’m such a sop...’

Plastic crackled, and the hand was on her shoulder now. She looked up at Ryan, and was struck by the way he was staring down at her, eyes back to neon blue. ‘You’re a writer, aren’t you?’

But Leigh shook her head. ‘Nuh-uh. I’m a reader.’

He frowned, all lashes and brows and blue and perfect. ‘But you’re so…’ he cocked his head. ‘You said something about needing the iPad, to work?’

‘I’m a book reviewer. I have a blog but that’s it.’

He frowned. ‘A what?’

‘It’s like an online column.’ He didn’t know what a blog was? That was weird. He seemed fairly up-to-date on how the world worked. ‘Only no one pays me to do it, unless I get on a roll, and then advertisers notice me, and throw me some cash to put an ad or two up.’

Ryan scratched his chin. ‘But… that’s your job, right? So you write for a living?’

But Leigh shook her head. ‘No. The money I earn writing could have me living in the Sahara Desert for all it pays. Right now, it’s going really well, and so I decided to take this trip, to visit the places where my favourite books have been set to see if I could get more followers, and it’s working. But I had to save like crazy to get here and as far as popular book blogs go, I’m only just on the radar.’

‘So what do you do?’

‘I waitress. Well, right now I waitress. Last year I was a librarian by day and a hostess at a strip club by night. The year before that I worked in a shoe shop part time and did go-go dancing- clothes on- at a club for, well, a few weeks before I got claustrophobic…’ she cringed internally, realising how flighty she sounded. ‘I’ve had heaps of jobs, and this blog is just one more of them. But I’m no writer.’

‘You talk like one and live like one,’ he insisted, wiping a droplet of water off her nose and smiling softly.

‘I also wield punctuation like a hostess at a strip club,’ she joked, wiping under her eyes with her thumb and hoping that her make up hadn’t smeared. ‘I’m getting better but no, I’ve never aspired to be a writer.’ She looked down at the book and poked it gently, wiping away a few beads of water. ‘I don’t want to write the stories, but read others and when I can, like now, live them a little.’

‘And what about careers and stuff? Don’t you have a dream?’

Leigh smiled and inclined her head towards the falls. ‘This is it. Do what I have to do to make money, and then spend it on living to compensate for all the time I spend curled up with a book and eating and trying to work out how I want to live.’

‘That sounds pretty cool actually,’ Ryan mused. ‘No pressure to be something or someone- just happy.’

‘I wouldn’t say no pressure…’ Leigh said, thinking of her parents and their desire to see her settled down. ‘Eventually I want the other stuff too; the husband, the kids, the pretty house and the fireplace… in a place like this too, if I can manage it. But I’m in no rush.’

Ryan glanced out over the water, looking down at his pinkie ring as he held the book between the railing and the front of his poncho with his body weight. ‘I’m pretty sure that I have, or had, some wild dreams about my own career… I’m just not exactly sure what the end goal was.’

‘Oh, you want to be a rock star,’ Leigh said, watching his profile and thinking: ‘And by God, are you a rock star!’ ‘Fronting a metal band, trashing hotel rooms, writing songs… But what you really wanted was-’ she stopped herself before the words ‘Kylie’s heart’ could slide off her tongue and felt her stomach roll while Ryan’s skin paled.

Oh, shivers! What am I thinking? Leigh, you idiot! This is Ryan, Weaver, but not YOUR Ryan Weaver!

Ryan shot her a look. ‘Did you just give me a bio based on the book lad?’

Leigh winced. ‘I’m sorry, yeah I did… crap Ryan that…’

‘It’s okay, really,’ but he didn’t look okay. He sighed, staring at the book. ‘It’s just weird to think that someone thinks they know me better than I know myself.’

‘I don’t,’ Leigh assured him. ‘I couldn’t possibly.’

‘I know. And that sucks even worse because as cool as this is, it’s just another dead end.’ He could have burned holes through the book, given how hard he was staring at it. ‘You’re probably right about Imogen’s reasons for giving me this character’s last name though. She was an obsessive reader, one whose equal I’ve probably never met…’ he slid her a wry smile at his own joke, which made Leigh grin just as she snapped a picture above his head. ‘Her house is full of books, and she loved the sexy ones.’

‘Sounds like my kind of girl,’ Leigh admitted grudgingly.

‘She was bonkers, but adorable. Once, I found a book in the microwave and another time, I stubbed my toe on one in her bed, can you believe that? It was under the sheet, way down the bottom. And it was a hardcover too, so I ended up with a chunk taken out of my big toe.’

Oh, I bet she took all sorts of chunks out of you buddy- with her teeth! Pfft. What kind of name is Imogen anyway?

‘Huh…’ Leigh swallowed hard and had to turn and face the front of the boat again, wiping her camera lens with her finger before taking a horizontal shot of Horseshoe Falls and wondering how one got to be an Imogen. She had a spare room back at her place, and she wouldn’t mind squishing Ryan in there with all her books. ‘That’s funny…and sounds like something I’d do, if I weren’t so obsessive about making my bed, that is,’ she clicked again, but the boat rocked and the image she captured was blurred, like the lines her mind and body were drifting across back and forth like a purposeless fog in want of something it wasn’t certain it wanted, and knew it should not want. ‘I’m waiting for shelving to be built for mine and when it does, they’ll be going up in alphabetical order- by genre.’

‘Cool. I’m a neat freak too,’ Ryan said. ‘That is one thing I know. Imogen’s house has character…. But it drives me nuts.’

‘Wait-’ Leigh chose to ignore the fact that Ryan and Ryan also had OCD in common. ‘You’re still living there?’

He nodded. ‘She left it to me. Not just that house either, but one of her summer cottages. Her car, her husband’s inheritance and her own…’