Turn Back the Dawn (12 page)

andra look very close to nude. But the peach teddy was
exchanged
for a black one—"much sexier anyway," Ben
said,
eliciting a dark look from Kate
—
and the shooting
finally
began.

Kate loved the concept of the ad. It was going to be a
full
page, run in all the major newspapers, and as Kate watched the shooting, she could just feel it would be a
success.
The photographer, a young, graceful man dressed
all
in black, had Alexandra and Pierce try all variations
of
expression and movement. Alexandra managed to
swing
through a whole spectrum of moods—at one mo
ment
kitten-cuddly, at the next sleek and seductive, all
answers
to Pierce's different poses and expressions. Final
ly, the
shooting for the first ad ended.

Shooting
on the second one, set in the store's luxurious
lingerie
department, went a bit more smoothly. The ad
was
one of Kate's favorites, with Pierce looking at Alexan
dra—
dressed in the black teddy from the first ad—holding
a
handful of lingerie and posing very suggestively.

Alexandra was once again uninhibited about the shot.
She was
a different animal in front of the lens of a camera,
as
confident
there as she was shy on her own. Dick Day-
ion, on
the other hand, nearly had to be restrained when
he saw
what his niece was wearing. Kate, silently telling
herself
she had known this would happen
—
and giving
lien a
look that said, "I told you so"
—
went over to Day
ton and
quietly but firmly calmed him down. With the
very clear
suggestion ringing in his ears that he was actual
ly interfering
with his niece's potential future success, he
retreated
into the back of the crowd, and finally the lingerie
shots
were completed.

I
he
rest
—
in the sporting-goods, men's-wear, and re-

sort-wear departments—went quickly. After more than three hours of shooting, the crew and cast were getting a bit punchy—laughing at the slightest mistake, collapsing into helpless giggling fits every few minutes; but just as Kate was beginning to worry, Ben leaned over to her and whispered, "Beautiful. We couldn't have asked for better." And Kate realized he was right: the happiness and sheer delight that shone from both Alexandra's and Pierce's eyes would do more for the ads than anything else the agency could possibly have come up with.

And then, finally, the shooting was over. Makeup, props, clothes, were packed up, cameras and backdrops rolled away, lights removed.

Alexandra, looking dazed and happy, came over to Kate and thanked her, and was joined moments later by her uncle. "I think we can all agree that everyone did a wonderful job," he said, putting his arms around Alexandra and Kate. "Just wonderful."

Kate forced a smile, but was saved from further pretense when Alexandra suddenly excused herself and went running off toward the elevator. The sight distracted both Kate and Dayton, who watched silently as Alexandra stopped Kurt with a gentle hand on his elbow. Kate saw a smile on Kurt's face—a slow, familiar-looking smile she recognized as the one he used when recognizing that he had been "chosen" again.

Kate turned back to Dick Dayton, still at her side, and was surprised—and taken aback—to see the look of fury in his eyes as he watched his niece talking with Kurt.

Then he turned to Kate. "What do you know about that Kurt Reeves?" he demanded.

"He's a very good art director," she said truthfully.

"What else?" he barked.

"What is it that you want to know?" she asked calmly.

He looked at her for a moment, and then sighed. "Never mind," he muttered. "I'll find out for myself." And he stalked off in the direction of Alexandra and Kurt.

A moment later Ben was at Kate's side. She smiled up
at
him. "You just missed an interesting little exchange," she said. "It seems Dick Dayton has a new object of suspicion and mistrust."

Ben looked over at Dayton. "Kurt?"

Kate nodded. "Who seems to have found a new object
as
well."

Ben raised a brow. "She does seem rather interested, doesn't she?"

"Well, he knows how to use his not inconsiderable charm when he has to." She paused. "Do you think he's good-looking, Ben?"

Ben smiled. "A loaded question if I ever heard one." He looked over at Kurt, and Kate followed his gaze. "Yes, I'd have to say he was—except there's something very
.
. very manipulative in his manner. I don't think Stan, our AD, is too happy about working with him."

"Well, who knows? Maybe he'll be on his best behavior now that he's set his sights on our new Miss I and S. I recognize all the signs."

Ben gave her an odd, unreadable look. "Jealous?"

"No, of course not!" She looked into his eyes, trying to fathom his thoughts, wondering if now was the right time t
o
talk. They were alone except for a few crew members packing up. Dayton, Alexandra, and Kurt had gone off, und the area was quiet, calm once again.

"But I do have to talk to you," she said quietly.

He frowned. "What's the matter? You look upset."

"Well, I don't know," she said tentatively, wondering whether she hadn't in fact been overanalyzing. But she had to tell him how she felt. "It's just that I'm not quite sure what's going on with us. We've both been so busy that—I'm just not sure where we're heading."

"I
have
been busy," he said. "I've been on the verge of neglecting my other clients, Kate. But to tell you the truth, I haven't wanted to push anything. It's—if something is right, it will happen on its own."

So he was uncertain, then. Hesitant and uncertain. "I see," she said quietly.

"Do you?" he asked.

"I think so," she said hollowly, forcing out the words. "And I suppose you're right, really, when you think about it. Well," she said, "it's late, and I'm tired, so I guess I'll be getting home."

"I'll take you," he said.

She shook her head. "That's all right. I can get a cab."

For a moment they looked into each other's eyes, each trying to read the other's thoughts. "I'll walk you out, then," he said.

In the elevator, when Kate looked at Ben, his eyes were opaque, distant. "I think you'll be very pleased with the prints, Kate. Do you want me to send them over tomorrow or do you want to come by?"

"When will they be ready?" she asked, aware only that she was speaking words that seemed to make sense. But her heart was still trying to unravel what had happened.

"Uh, tomorrow morning by nine or ten, I imagine. The paste-up assistants will work with the prints I think are

best, but I'll send the whole batch over to you. Then all
we
need is client approval before they go in to the papers."

Kate stared.
Client approval,
she thought. Wasn't it all getting rather impersonal? She sighed. "Well. Send them
to
my office," she said. "Kurt and some other people will want to see them."

"Right," he said quietly, and they left the elevator and walked through the ground floor, now nearly dark, empty
except
for a lone cleaning woman at the far end of the
floor.

The night watchman came out from a utility room and
opened
the door for them, and they stepped out into the
chill
of the night air.

"Well, good night," Ben said.

"Good
night," she said quietly.

He leaned down and kissed her on the mouth. But when
she
opened her eyes, they were met by his questioning
gaze.

"Good
night," he said again, pulling back and straight
ening.
And he turned and walked off into the night.

CHAPTER SEVEN

During the taxi ride home, Kate stared straight ahead, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, trying to block out the distant look she remembered in Ben's eyes. She tried to make her mind blank, to think of something else. But all she could remember was Ben, his quiet voice saying, "If something is right, it will happen on its own." And she tried to close her eyes against a flood of bitter tears.

She had been so sure. Not sure that he had been perfect, or wonderful in every way. But she had been sure he was a man who took relationships—and lovemaking—seriously. And she had been certain, above all else, that the relationship would be more than a brief one, more than a quick fling.

Once in her apartment, Kate kicked off her shoes, flicked on the TV, and threw herself on the living room couch. She knew sleep would be impossible, and lying in the darkness by herself would be unbearably lonely. She missed Ben. She wanted him. And what she had loved about him most—a security that seemed to imply commitment, seriousness, respect for other people's feelings—had turned out to be an illusion and nothing more.

She tried to fix her gaze on the television screen. A man

had a woman in his arms; rain was streaking the windows behind them; flames were leaping in the fireplace to their side. And as the man lowered his head to the woman's lips,

he whispered, "I love you. And I'm home, darling. Home for good." As their lips met, violins sang of their love.

Kate picked up a paperback and threw it at the screen. The movie looked like it had been terrible—one corny line after another. Yet even so, it had reached her, bringing tears to her eyes. For even in the worst of scripts, love—a love she craved, a love she had hoped for—came through.

The ringing of the downstairs buzzer brought Kate out of her thoughts. She looked at her watch—it was nearly quarter to one! She padded over to the intercom that connected with the doorman's office in the lobby. "Yes?"

"A Mr. Austin is here, Miss Churchill."

She bit her lip. Now what? "Please send him up, Fred. Thanks."

Kate raced out of the foyer and into the bathroom to see whether she looked as terrible as she felt. Her eye makeup was smudged and her lashes were caked together, but she managed to dab away most of the black and was left with slightly too-dark eyes and very pale-looking skin.

But as she left the bathroom and went back into the living room, she angrily observed to herself that her eyes were not, really, the problem. Far more worrisome was whether she would be able to deal with Ben as she wanted to. And as she heard the sound of the elevator down the hall, she realized she didn't even know what it was she wanted to say or do.

The doorbell rang, and she answered it quickly, opening the door and backing up to let Ben in without even looking at him.

He came inside quickly, but stayed in the foyer rather than going on into the living room.

She looked up at him, anger mixing with uncertainty. "I didn't expect to see you—obviously."

He sighed, sadness in his eyes. "I had to come," he said. "And I had to see you, to talk to you face to face. Can we sit down?"

She walked ahead of him to the living room, still unsure of her feelings.

A few moments later Ben, on the couch beside her, was looking into her eyes. "I lied to you back at the store," he said.

Kate blinked, trying to hold in the pit of fear that was growing in her stomach. He had lied. About what? Was he seeing someone else? Was it completely over between them? "Go on," she said quietly.

He reached into his pocket and took out his pipe and tobacco. For the first time it was a gesture that annoyed Kate. "Hey," she said. "Can't that wait? You just said something I'd like to hear the rest of."

He smiled. "You're right. Sorry. All right, this is it. I've been trying
—
in various ways and at various times—
to
stay away from you, to keep what's happening between us at some sort of reasonable level." Listening, she felt the warmth of relaxation begin to flow through her again, and she realized she had been holding her breath. "I remember you at the beginning, when we first met
—
very cautious, very wary, asking me to back up and back off." He smiled "And then it all changed, very much as I wanted it to."

She looked into his eyes. "And it's too much?"

He shook his head. "Not for me
—
not at all. But Kate,