Turbulent Sea (40 page)

Her eyes collided with his. The blue had gone to a molten sea, turbulent and wild. She let her gaze drift lower and was more than satisfied at the obvious bulge in the front of his jeans. She grinned and gave a small salute before responding to the teasing from the band.

"Well, boys, since I have no bus, and you're all pulling out tonight for Sacramento, I think I'll just put my feet up here and relax."

Brian threw a crumpled up program at her. "Not funny, little Miss Diva. You get to take a plane."

Joley started to contradict him. She was thinking of making the ten-hour drive with Ilya, but she hadn't checked with him. Instead she licked the center of her palm twice with wicked intent and pressed another kiss there before taking a drink of the ice-cold water.

I will retaliate.

Hmmm. I think I'm pretty safe with all these people around
. Her body grew hot just thinking about how she was tormenting Ilya. The palm thing was going from the con side of her list to the pro side very quickly. Glancing around the room to make certain no one was watching her, she took another long, slow lick, curling her tongue around the center, envisioning his hard, thick erection in her mouth. She heard his swift intake of breath in her mind, and she smiled secretly, holding her palm against her heart.

Keep it up, Joley, and I'll throw you over my shoulder, carry you into your dressing room and put you on your knees so you can put that mouth to really good use
. His voice was dark with arousal and the threat of wicked, sensual punishment. A shiver of excitement went down her spine. She actually felt her nipples harden and her womb clench in anticipation. Belonging to Ilya was exhilarating.

Some perverse, wicked part of her wanted him to do just that.
Really? Would you like my mouth around your cock right now? Me kneeling in front of you? Maybe you really are into bondage and you like the image of me with my hands tied behind my back, helpless while you slide down my throat. Sounds kind of kinky but exciting. I might like it
.

His low, telepathic groan was harsh with arousal, sending hot flames licking over her skin and spreading like a firestorm through her bloodstream.

Tish leaned close to her. "Does your hand hurt?"

Around them, the room was alive with everyone pouring drinks, toasting, laughing, happy with the success of the show. Ilya stood only feet from her, his blue eyes burning with hunger, yet never once did he shift his position or stop the restless search of the room. A part of her wanted to shake his control, but mostly she was just happy. She sat beside Tish and felt grateful that she was back. Things had always been good when Tish was around.

"My palm itches a little." She closed her fingers around the center to hold Ilya to her there. "Tish, I did want to say, whatever is happening with you and Logan, this is the way it was meant to be. All of us together like this, a family. You brought us here. All your work, your belief in us, all those posters you made, the website you created, you even designed our first cover on the CD we sold at bars. This is your success as well as ours."

As if confirming what Joley had said, Logan spun around, his eyes bright with success. "Tish, come here, honey." He held out his hand to her.

Tish pressed Lissa closer to her. "Don't leave when the others do. Stay, just a few minutes so we can be alone. I need someone to talk to."

"Sure, but right now, let me hold the baby. Logan looks like he wants attention." She was shamelessly playing matchmaker, but she was happy and she wanted Tish to be happy as well. She held out her arms for the baby.

Tish hesitated, confirming Joley's suspicion that she was hiding behind the baby. Reluctantly Tish gave Lissa to her and stood up. Joley watched her cross to Logan's side. She didn't pull back when he wrapped his arm around her and held her close, but she didn't lean into him either. Body language suggested that Tish was conflicted, and it wasn't difficult to guess what she wanted to talk with Joley about.

You look good with that baby. When you have mine, you'll have to sit naked with all that beautiful soft skin, with our child in your arms, at your breast, and I'll just watch until it's my turn.

She sucked in her breath. Her breasts ached, sending little sneaky curls of heat radiating from her nipples to her feminine sheath. Muscles rippled and her body softened, went damp. Her breath left her lungs in a little rush. More than the words and the erotic images he thrust into her mind, it was the sexy sound of his voice. The tone played over her skin like caressing fingers, or worse, a stroking, sinful tongue.

No babies. I told you that. They're fine asleep, but I'm not so good with them when they're awake. You'll just have to be content with suckling all by yourself
. She felt very daring teasing him. If she could have, she might have taken another long, slow lick of her palm, but she wasn't all that adroit at holding babies and she was afraid she might disturb Lissa.

"Hey you," Brian said softly, dropping into the vacated seat beside her. "How are you feeling? They escorted you in so late that I didn't really get much of a chance to talk to you about what happened. Let's see your head." He swept back her hair and whistled low under his breath. "Black and blue and swollen. That looks nasty."

"It hurts," Joley confirmed, stealing a quick glance at Ilya before meeting Brian's eyes. "How 'bout you? Are you doing okay?"

"I went to see Sergei," Brian said in a rush. "I had to. If he was the one who ordered that bombing, I had to try to stop him."

Joley shook her head, glanced around and lowered her voice even more. All around them, the band, their women and friends partied, but she and Brian were isolated by secrets. "You shouldn't have gone, Brian, it's too dangerous."

He slipped his finger into the baby's hand and watched her curl tiny, soft fingers around it. "I don't know what to think—what to believe. He swore—looked me right in the eye and swore—he would never harm you because you're my family and he knows that. He said he had loaned Ilya to you now, when he needed him most, to make certain nothing happens to you—that he did that for me. And God help me, Joley, I believe him."

Joley pressed her cheek against the baby's face. She ached inside for Brian. She knew what loneliness was. And she knew heartache. Brian was a good man and he deserved to be happy. He'd sacrificed any relationship to keep their band going, and now, when he'd finally found someone he could love, it was the wrong person. She wished she could find a way to help him. "Brian, you know I love you very much," she whispered softly. "You're an amazing person. I'm sorry about Nikitin. I really am."

"You're wrong about him. You could be wrong. I know he was once involved in the mob. He was born into it, but he's worked hard to become a legitimate businessman."

"I wish I could say I believed that, but it just isn't true."

"How do you know? You're obviously falling for his bodyguard. Did he tell you that?"

Alarm bells went off. She sat up straight and tried not to look frightened. "No, of course not. My family is in law enforcement. I told you that. I had them double-check, but I think you can dig up the facts yourself, Brian. I'm not saying that to hurt you. If I thought for one moment there was a chance this was all a mistake, I'd totally be on your side, but you know better. Deep down, you know better."

"People change, Joley."

"I know they do, Brian." She couldn't stop the flick of her gaze to Ilya.

Do you need me
, lubov moya?

She moistened her lips. She didn't want Ilya to draw Brian's attention.
No. Please don't let him even notice you. He's searching for someone to blame and I don't want it to be you. He's still talking to Nikitin, and Nikitin is trying to convince him that he's just a misunderstood businessman. I don't want Brian to think you've given me any information
. She nuzzled the baby again to keep her gaze from straying to her bodyguard.

"I'm just saying maybe Sergei was into some things he shouldn't have been…"

"Brian, maybe you're right, you could be right, but until you know, you can't be with him. It's too dangerous on so many levels. Finish the tour. I'll ask my family to help, and we'll quietly investigate him, not to put him in jail or anything, but to make certain it's safe for you."

Brian ran his fingers through his hair several times. "I hate being so alone, Joley. I can't live like this anymore. With Sergei, half the time we just talked, just laughed together. We didn't have to go out, party, any of that, we were just quiet together and that was enough."

She wanted to weep for him. "Come to Sea Haven with me after the tour. There's something about the town, the people, all of it. The sea is wild there and the sunsets are beautiful. I'd love to have you stay with me. The big house is mostly empty because all my sisters are treacherous wenches and they're getting married. Every last one of them with the exception of my baby sister Elle. She's the only one left with a brain."

He reached over and took Lissa out of her arms, cuddling the baby close to his chest. "I've always envied you your family, Joley. Do you know how really lucky you are? We always had money, but I preferred to hang out with Denny, Logan and Rick and the others, anywhere but home. Alcohol was a huge problem. My mom died in her early forties, but it didn't slow Dad down at all."

Which was why he chose not to drink much, only a rare glass of cognac on a special occasion. She knew all the band members had known one another from childhood and were close. She knew Brian considered the band his family. Would it change everything if they knew he was gay? She hoped it wouldn't, but she knew it often did. Brian looked so sad and alone. All around them his friends partied and laughed, happy about the show they'd put on and deservedly so, but they didn't notice he was apart from them.

Ilya kept his eye on Joley even as he noted all the others in the room, their position, what they were doing, who they were talking to and how close they were to Joley. He was in a good position to get to her if need be, and an even better position to use a weapon. His instincts were on alert, but as always, it was impossible to tell if it was because there'd been threats and attempts on Joley, or because a threat was looming.

Whatever she was discussing with Brian upset her. She looked—and felt—as if she wanted to cry. He wanted to pull her into his arms and shelter her, hold her close and comfort her. She had a good heart and was fiercely loyal to her friends. Ilya wished he could tell her Sergei Nikitin was a good man, but he'd ordered more killings, more torture, and run every kind of operation, from human trafficking to laundering money. While it was true he appeared to have genuine feelings for Brian, if Brian became a threat, Nikitin wouldn't hesitate to kill him just like he'd kill anyone else who threatened him. Violence was Sergei's way of life.

Joley rubbed the baby's hand over her cheek, and deep inside Ilya, something hard and cold warmed and melted. He couldn't wait to watch his child grow in her belly, to lie on the bed with her, waiting the nine months for a life they created together to be born. Joley didn't believe she was the type of woman to be a mother, but she would be fiercely protective, yet fill their lives with love and joy and laughter—all the things he'd never had. Their home would be a sanctuary of laughter and love. It would be Joley who would show them all how to live.

People began to drift out, hugging, laughing, and Ilya stayed to one side, invisible as the band and their friends left.

Brian stood and dusted his clothes off, meticulous as always, walking with Joley over to Logan and Tish. Tish took the baby back with obvious relief. Brian clapped Logan on the back and walked out with Denny. Ilya was very aware that Brian knew exactly where he was at all times, while the others didn't pay any attention at all.

In the end, only Tish, Logan and Joley remained. The two women said something to Logan; he hesitated and then left the suite as well. Silence followed. Tish looked at him, and he knew the moment Joley crossed to his side what she was going to say. The knots in his stomach hardened.

"I'm sorry, Ilya, would you mind stepping out of the room, just for a few minutes? I promised Tish we could talk alone."

"I don't like it," Ilya protested, uneasy with the idea of Joley out of his sight.

She smiled at him, that dynamite smile that tugged on every heartstring and made his blood surge hotly. "You can stand right outside the door, in fact stand in front of it with your gun out."

Ilya had a strong desire to throw her over his shoulder like a primitive caveman and carry her to his lair somewhere safe. Glancing over her head, he saw Tish's anxious face. She held the baby close to her, but her shoulders were stiff, her lips pressed together tightly. He nodded, took another glance around the room and stepped into the hall, leaving the door open behind him. He wasn't happy when Joley closed the door.

"I wasn't certain we'd actually get a chance to be alone," Joley said. "Without the bus, I'm kind of stuck without a place of my own."

"Logan wants us to stay together and he wants me to legally adopt the baby with him." The word came out in a rush, tumbling over one another. "I can't do that and then turn around and lose both of them again. I can't, Joley." Tish nuzzled her chin against the baby's head. "I know you all think I'm really strong, but when I walked in on Logan and that woman, I felt shattered, utterly, absolutely shattered. I was so broken I didn't know if there was any way to ever put me back together again. I've loved him since high school. Maybe grammar school. I've never even looked at another man. His betrayal was so devastating, I came close to suicide." Now her voice was a mere whisper and tears swam in her eyes. "I'm ashamed of that, but it was so close, Joley."

"You should have called me," Joley said, fear gripping her. "We all love you, the entire band. It was horrible after you left and has been ever since. I would have helped you through it, so would all the guys."

"I couldn't call you. I couldn't see any of you. My emotions were all over the place. Part of me blamed all of you, because of the alcohol and drugs. My mother was ill and needed me at home, so I had to stop traveling with the band. I thought Logan would stay away from trouble, but…"