Trying to Score (45 page)

Why did you cheat on me?

His heart still ached at the fact that he wasn’t man enough to open his eyes and tell her. Was it the fact that he was scared she would think he was a failure? Or maybe because he was scared she would leave him again. All he knew was that he needed her, and that he loved her more than a man should love a woman. His arms came around her tighter, wishing he didn’t have let her go again as she smiled against his chest.

“I have no clue what I’m gonna wear,” she said. A proud satisfied smile came over Lucas’ face. The thought of hearing and seeing that fabric rip still made the hairs on the back of his neck stand.

Man, it was hot.

“I’m pretty sure there is something here for you to wear,” he said quietly as he snuggled closer to her. He had taken her box home, but he was pretty sure there was a drawer of her clothes somewhere. She had practically lived with him when they were dating. The only time she went home was when he was on the road. When she left, she left almost everything.

Nothing was said as the sun continued to rise and filled the room with its beautiful rays of sunshine. Lucas felt like it was the start of his life, and he couldn’t wait to see what the day held. He just hoped it was everything he had prayed for.

“I’m sticky,” Fallon said out of nowhere. Lucas couldn’t contain the gut-busting laugh he let out. She couldn’t either and soon joined in with him as they slowly detangled from each other.

“I don’t know if I shut the door last night,” Lucas laughed as he pulled his shorts up. He looked over at Fallon, his eyes admiring her gloriously, beautiful, naked body while she giggled at the bed that was in shambles.
They sure did do a number on that bed
, he thought as his eyes raked her body. He took in her full breasts that were bigger than he remembered. The way her tummy had little marks on them from where his son had grown and stretched her out. Along her ribs was the tattoo that Aiden had told him about, and he wondered what it said. When he looked up, Fallon was staring at him. “What does your tattoo say?”

Fallon looked down at her ribs, and smiled before looking up at Lucas. “For those I love, I will sacrifice. Then I have Aiden and Audrey along the inside of my arms,” she said showing him the inside of her arms. Heat filled him from head to toe as his eyes followed the words along her body. He moved around the bed, coming towards her before wrapping her up in his arms. Her perky warm breast collided against his hard chest as he grinned down at her, lust filling his eyes.

“Do you know how hot it makes me that you have ink on you?” he asked as he nipped at her bottom lip.

Fallon smiled as she ran her hands up his muscular arms. “I think I might have an idea,” she teased as she pushed her naked pelvis into his. Lucas’ control snapped and he picked her up, laying her back on the bed.

“Yeah, that shower is going to have to wait,” he said against her mouth.

She smiled as her hands reached down, letting him out of his shorts. “I thought you might say that.”

Fallon was still lying in bed when Lucas brought her bag to her. He grinned down at her before throwing her phone beside her. “Audrey has called a couple times.”

Fallon smiled sweetly up at him before stretching her arms above her head. Lucas watched her for a moment and then shook his head before heading to the bathroom. She knew she had rocked his world a little before he left the bed and she couldn’t help the satisfied grin that graced her face. She rolled over her stomach, seeing the missed calls and texts from Audrey. Instead of reading them, she just called her.

“I mean, if you are wondering if we have been having crazy monkey sex ever since I slapped him across the face, then yeah you may want to ask.”

That had both women in a fit of giggles. “Listen to you! Oh me, this is wonderful!”

Fallon felt wonderful. “Yeah, I’m staying tonight. I’ll look for a flight tomorrow,” she said nervously. She still couldn’t believe she was doing this, but she had to or she would forever ask why.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said as she looked down at the many sets of bras and panties. Fallon pulled them all out, throwing them on the bed before picking up three very short dresses. They were Fallon’s party dresses for when she needed to flaunt her body for the good of wine. Audrey even included matching heels! “That sneak!”

“What’s wrong?”

Fallon looked behind her, seeing that Lucas had just come out of the shower. His towel hung low on his hips, showing the butt of the guns that pointed down at the most amazing part of him. Fallon’s mouth watered at the sight of the muscles that made his eight pack of abs before looking up at his powerful muscular frame.

“You’re impossible!” Fallon said, annoyed. How the hell was she supposed to go shopping in a short white tube top dress? Or a gray, one-shoulder lace dress? Or even a black mini dress with a bust line that dipped down to her belly button? She didn’t wear that last dress much anymore; it was a ‘before Aiden’ dress. What could she say — she had a little bit of an inner slut in her. She loved to dress sexy. What woman didn’t?

Lucas chuckled as he walked across the room, opening a couple of drawers before finding one he needed, and pulling out a pair of jeans and a tee. He threw them on the bed and Fallon looked down at them. They were her clothes from college. A small smile went over her face as she reached for her old red Stanford t-shirt. She had worn it almost every day to school, it was so comfy and her favorite shirt. She looked over at Lucas to see that he was getting dressed.

“I figured we go out for lunch, have a picnic on the beach.”

“Sounds good,” Fallon said, picking out a matching underwear set. She never matched her underwear, it took too much time. Audrey on the other hand, would never have mismatched underwear. It was a disgrace according to her.

“True,” she agreed before passing by him. He swatted at her butt and she giggled as she ran into the bathroom for a shower. Fallon went to shut the door, giving Lucas one last grin before doing so while he gave her a heated look. She laid her things on his blue tiled sink before looking up at herself in the mirror. A slow grin went across her face because she looked good, great even. Even with her hair a mess, her face was glowing.

But the grin left just as fast as it came. This was how she felt all the time when she was with Lucas before. If she wasn’t careful she would fall right back into the way she was back then and when he left her, she would become the mess she had been for the past seven years. She needed to be careful and she needed to be smart. She had to, or she would end up being the sad, scared, young girl Lucas had cheated on seven years ago.

It was like déjà vu.

Like they had done countless times before, Fallon sat across from Lucas on an old, tattered red blanket, eating Baja Fresh burritos as the ocean crashed against the shore. It was a beautiful spring day, but Fallon still threw on Lucas’ Assassins hoodie just in case she got cold. Lucas on the other hand didn’t think it was cold and looked scrumptious in his black board shorts and purple Assassins hoodie. His hair was a mess under his hat, and he still hadn’t shaved.

Thank God.

They ate in silence, and for the first time in a long time, Fallon felt completely relaxed. She could say it was because of the beautiful scenery but she would be lying. It started and ended with Lucas Brooks and his glorious tongue. Fallon became hot just from thinking about what they did the night before and that morning. She wouldn’t say she had forgotten about how amazing Lucas was in bed, but man, she hadn’t remembered it being that freaking great. Jeez, her body was still buzzing and it was well into the afternoon.

Fallon took a bite of her burrito, willing herself not to think about it. If she didn’t stop, no telling what would happen. Lord knew Lucas wouldn’t stop her if she tried to get naked with him on the beach. She shook her head at the thought but stopped when Lucas’ finger swiped along her bottom lip.

Fallon went back to eating her burrito as they sat in comfortable silence. It had always been so easy between them when things were good. When things weren’t, Lucas was nuts with his anger. Fallon had been around him for a solid month and she hadn’t seen it but once. Plus he had apologized right afterwards. It was so unreal that Fallon didn’t believe that she was sitting with the same Lucas Brooks that she used to sit with so long ago.

“I wanted to answer your question from last night.”

Fallon looked up at him to see that he was looking down at the top of his drink, running his finger over the bumps on the lid. “Huh?”

“Yeah,” he said before looking up at her. His eyes were so sad that it made Fallon’s heart stop while he held her gaze with his. “I didn’t mean to.”

Fallon looked down since she didn’t want him to see her roll her eyes. “How do you not mean to?”

“Fallon, look at me,” he demanded, and she did. He took in a ragged breath and his shoulders dropped as he said, “I was an alcoholic and pill popper.”

Fallon took in a sharp breath. What did he mean?

“I was extremely drunk and high when I came to your dorm that night. Allison came on to me, and I…” he shrugged his shoulders as he looked away.

“Slept with her.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t mean to or want to for that matter. I just missed you so much and I was horny. It was bad and I was really fucked up.”

“Before, when my dad died,” he said sadly. It pulled at Fallon’s heart strings. She hated that he had to go through losing his father. “That was what caused it. I didn’t deal with his death the right way. I didn’t get the help I needed. I was young and stupid and I didn’t know how to make the pain stop,” he said, and Fallon could tell he was embarrassed. “I never meant for it to get as bad as it was. I know now that nothing could have helped me until I admitted I needed the help.”

“I never knew,” Fallon said as her heart ached. How could she love someone so thoroughly and not know that he was dying inside? That he had to resort to alcohol and drugs to make it through his days. Was she not enough? Could she not make him better?

“I wouldn’t let you see that side of me. It was bad enough that you knew I couldn’t read. I couldn’t tell you that I had an issue with drinking or popping pills too. I couldn’t imagine what you would think of me.”

“I would have loved you and helped you through it.”

“I know that now, but Fallon, I was so embarrassed”

Fallon nodded. “I understand that you were embarrassed, Lucas, but you made me believe that I was your everything. We planned a life together.”

“I know and you don’t know how much I regret throwing it away.”

Fallon nodded again, her heart beating in overtime. It was all such a shock; she would have never suspected it. He didn’t act like a drunk. He wasn’t hung over all the time. He functioned just fine. How could she not know? “When did you get help?”

“Five years ago.”

“So two years after I left?”

“After you left I got worse,” Lucas said looking out towards the ocean. “The Sharks told me to get help or they weren’t going to renew my contract.”

Fallon took in a sharp breath. “It got worse?”

“I got careless and starting drinking all the time. At one point, my mom and Levi said they would leave me too if I didn’t get my shit together,” Lucas said with sadness in his voice. “I couldn’t lose my mom too. I had lost you and my dad, I couldn’t lose her.”

Fallon didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do. She could just sit there, in completely shock. Molly threatened to leave her baby? It must have been horrible. Lucas must have been out of control. She couldn’t believe it. She had never heard anything in the news, not that she followed the sport but still, Audrey would have said something when she said that Lucas was Aiden’s dad.

“I never heard anything about it.”

Lucas shrugged his shoulders. “Levi can hide anything. He’s an ass but he is damn good at his job.”

Fallon nodded, and when his eyes met hers, she knew that he saw the shock and sadness in her eyes. “I went to rehab for a year and have been sober for the last four years.”