Trying the Knot (23 page)

Walking to her car, she made a mental note of
what few things she still needed to pack, and this time she would
pack with more practicality. She closed her eyes and imagined
California. She wondered what justifiable reason there was to
sacrifice her integrity for Kate’s well being. It had always been
that way, keeping secrets for the sake of others. Her only real
hope was total liberation resulting from fully embracing the
truth.

When Nick returned to the crowd, he
encountered Ben sharing a private joke with Kate. The radiating
bride to-be laughed and gave Ben’s hand a playful slap. Her sublime
beauty calmed him, and all at once Nick felt reassured. It
distressed him the way Ben was always engaging his future wife with
comforting witticisms, which were followed by genuine laughter.
Nick had only seen her sad and depressed all day, but presently she
joked and engaged graciously with their guests. He vowed to spend
the rest of his life making her happy. When Nick approached, they
sobered up and became so self-conscious he felt like a party
crasher.

“Ben, check and see if Nanette needs a ride
to the lounge,” he suggested and wrapped his arms protectively
around Kate.

“She’s got the Saab,” Ben said, but he went
Nick’s Goth sister anyway.

Anne Paull had corralled her daughter into a
corner, and she was recounting for a small enthralled audience
details of her daughter’s latest job in Detroit, as a stylist for a
modeling agency that serviced beautiful suburban clients looking to
score an easy ticket to New York or Milan. Tristana indulged her
mother the momentary opportunity to live vicariously.

Tristana and Nick had never been close due to
her resentment of their father for his perpetual favoritism of Nick
for having been born with an XY chromosome. The doctor generally
ignored his daughter, since she belonged to the unfortunate lesser
species, relegated to live life sequestered to service the needs of
the weaker sex. She could not remember ever hugging her own father,
but then again, she could not remember him displaying any sort of
affection toward Nick except for hearty backslaps and playful
headlocks. She guessed what little affection he had to give was
reserved for the bedroom of his mistresses.

The doctor’s macho, physical fitness
obsession only served to encourage Tristana’s willful acts of
rebellion. Back in junior high, she organized underground laxative
parties for her girl friends. The idea was to bring a dessert to
pass, pop a handful of laxatives, gorge and then fight for the
toilet. It was after one of these deranged gatherings while
plunging the clogged commode, the doctor made good on his threats
to ship her away to boarding school. The last thing he needed were
his patients streaming in with their binge-purging daughters. It
was as if his own child’s single-handed mission was to ruin his
career.

Nick considered it unfortunate he and his
sister never really got to know one another until they both
attended the same private college for wealthy kids intellectually
unprepared to attend the University of Michigan. The idea was to
keep one’s money in one’s own socio-economic sphere, which neither
Paull offspring had done thus far. In Tristana’s own words, “You
can take the hick outta the woods, but you can’t take the woods
outta the hick.” Nick was marrying down while Tristana was smart
enough only to sleep around down. For her mother’s sake, Tristana
was holding out for a suitable gentleman who could truly afford her
hand in marriage. But for the time being her gothic get-ups and
dour demeanor would keep at bay any Brooks Brothers clad
suitors.

“Nicky, let’s bust a move,” Tristana pleaded.
“I’ve got a date tonight.”

“With Seth Poole?” Nick asked, still holding
Kate’s shoulders from behind. She slid from his embrace and mingled
with her circle of bridesmaids. Nick feared Kate would never feel
comfortable in the company of his sister. Tristana was cordial
enough, but she refused to hide her displeasure of Kate’s misguided
attempts to exude worthiness with open embarrassment of her family.
Embrace your roots, Tristana believed.

“I’d hardly call it a date. Isn’t the
technical term extra-marital affair, Nanette?”

“Don’t be a little bitch,” she said, and
added angrily, “Can’t you even try to remember, it’s Tristana
now.”

“No.”

“Please, give me a break,” Tristana said
riled. “I had to give whore-dad a lift here, and I was given the
old – If you don’t start taking better care of yourself, you’ll end
up looking just like your mother speech. I’d kill for a cigarette,
is Thad around?”

“No idea. Where’s dad?”

Tristana shrugged. “Check between the pews,
he’s probably boning Kate’s matron of honor as we speak.”

“Well, Nanette, maybe you should head to the
lounge,” Nick suggested.

Having lost her patience, she said loudly,
“Tristana Tristana Tristana. Is it so damned difficult to
remember?” Then she wrapped herself seductively around Ben and cast
her brother a territorial smirk.

Nick rolled his eyes and said exasperated,
“Eventually, you’ll take off all that black crap and become a
hippie and change your name to Ankh or something equally
ridiculous.”

Tristana laughed bitterly and said, “You’re a
real laugh riot.” Then she asked coyly, “Will Kate’s brother be at
the rehearsal dinner? I’d like to get a good look at this Jack
character.”

“Only a look?”

“You’ve got a perverted mind.”

“He’s too young, even for you.”

“What’s crawled up your ass, Nicky?” she
asked annoyed. “You’re acting like a total prick.”

“Okay, sorry,” he offered. “It’s the
stress.”

“Forgiven. It’s just this kid Jack doesn’t
sound nearly as morose as the rest of his boring family. Jesus,
Nick, they’re all terminal cases, and Kate’s stiff as a corpse.” As
an afterthought, Tristana added, “But you already know that, don’t
you? You’ll start screwing around on her once she pops out the
first brat, so why even bother?”

Nick walked away shaking his head, and
despite Tristana’s obvious lack of genuine interest, Ben said,
“I’ll follow you on my bike, okay?”

“Oh, get a clue,” Tristana snapped and walked
away.

Before long, the fair-haired maidens and frat
brothers made their exit. They piled in their cars and sped away to
The Lounge. As if their automobiles were not enough to advertise
their political affiliation, their Tauruses and Buicks were
plastered with bumper stickers advertising Bush-Quayle.

In the dwindling cluster of guests, Kate
thanked ever understanding Father Tim and apologized for her
father’s absence, but the priest was more concerned about her
missing juvenile delinquent brother. Regrettably, Kate said she had
no idea where Jack was. While Nick informed Father Tim Jack
rejected his most recent college spiel, Kate wrapped her arms
around her future husband. Despite the fact Jack was disinterested
in pursuing an education, Nick suggested perhaps the priest could
recruit him to enlist in the monastery, if not a branch of the
armed forces. Correctly, the priest observed it was a trying time
for the Hesse family, and he encouraged them to have love and
understanding in their hearts. They should keep praying for the
best.

Nick comfortingly took Kate’s hand into his
own, and Father Tim told him how lucky he was before wrapping his
arms around Kate and Nick. The priest had baptized the Hesse
children and their Feldpausch cousins, and he had watched Kate grow
from a ponytailed tomboy into a charming young lady. Father Tim
offered firsthand knowledge of what a wonderful girl Kate was and
what a truly blessed family she came from. Kate smiled
appreciatively, and she wondered when exactly everything became so
sordid. It had been a long time since she had felt at all wonderful
or blessed.

The priest gave them an emphatic squeeze and
made his way to the exit of the church. Holding Nick’s hand in her
own, she felt it was a crime she should feel so overwhelmed with
unadulterated happiness. Now that they were alone, she turned to
him and folded herself into his comforting grasp. If she could, she
would hold onto him forever. Given a chance, she felt they could
make one another complete. As they exited church, which was
purposefully constructed to resemble the huge freighter her father
sailed, they stopped on the steps. Kate spontaneously kissed her
bridegroom. She wanted to litter his life with tokens of love and
affection. Despite the recent chaos bogging down their lives, she
felt overwhelmed with joy.

“Nick,” she whispered, “it doesn’t seem right
to feel so happy. Let’s promise to make tomorrow the best day of
our lives.”

“I promise,” he answered, with only the
faintest inkling this was the last time they would share any such
intimacy. This moment was the last time Kate would feel anything
resembling happiness for a long time to come. He had the sneaking
suspicion she should have invested her precious time with someone
more worthy, but for now, he was content to bask in her glowing
adoration and complete satisfaction.

She felt as if she were going to collapse in
his arms while radiating pure contentment, and she flashed him her
perfect smile and gazed deeply into his soul with her big brown
eyes. She had no idea that in as many months as it had taken for
her to orchestrate the most perfect day of her life, it would take
a mere few hours for the blissfulness to mutate into a nightmare.
Kate buried her cheek into his chambray-clad chest and inhaled.
Soon, he would be hers at last.

Holding her close, Nick said sincerely,
“Kate, honey, I love you more than life itself, and I would never
do anything intentionally to hurt you. I promise you always.”

“I love you so much,” she said and kissed him
again and again.

Kate wished everyone could feel the love she
felt because it was crashing against her insides with overwhelming
ferocity. She could not wait until they officially became man and
wife, even though in her heart, she felt as if they were as good as
married could get. It was more than hope she clung to, it was a
deep and abiding faith, and all she could muster she had invested
in him.

chapter eleven

Hand in hand, Nick and Kate entered the dimly
lit floral lounge where hungry guests awaited their arrival. Nick,
wearing a sandstone summer suit, and Kate, in her too large, but
tasteful off-white dress, looked as if they should be propped on
top of an informal, second wedding cake. They smiled appreciatively
at Ginny Norris as she graciously led them to the dining room,
where they were met with a thunderous greeting. Their tender kisses
only exacerbated the crashing waves of applause.

Ginny led the couple to their seats at the
center of the head table, filled their champagne flutes and gave
them congratulatory hugs. As a prelude to many wonderful years
together, Ginny wished them a terrific evening and sashayed away.
Simultaneously, Nick and Kate tilted their glasses toward the
guests.

“I love you,” Kate whispered to him, brimming
with emotion. She felt consumed with happiness she had never
imagined possible, and she wondered how she would refrain from
overflowing with joy.

“To my daughter,” a voice bellowed in the
distance, and all eyes turned to the man swaying tipsily in the
middle of the room. “To my beautiful daughter and my future
son-in-law.”

Not exactly smiling, Kate bared her teeth and
stared blankly at her obviously drunk father. He raised his glass
in her direction and grinned from ear to ear. Glassy-eyed and
trembling, she clutched tightly to Nick’s hand. Her father looked
very much like a seafaring sailor despite his sloppily assembled
country western gear. Balding and bearded, Ed Hesse possessed a
phantom-like dignity that spewed proclamations as out of place as
his ill-fitting ten-gallon hat. His sweeping gusts of bravado were
as overdone as his silver belt buckle, and with each gale force
sentiment, Kate felt herself growing more and more distant as if
she were drifting rudderless out to sea.

Chief Engineer Hesse turned to Nick’s
relatives and spouted, “A toast to the Paulls— the good doctor may
mend backbones, but we Hesses are the backbones of this
community.”

Half the champagne flutes lifted in the
direction of the Paull family and then shifted to the Hesse clan,
and vice-versa. The guests were unsure for whose honor the toast
was intended. Making a spectacle, Ed Hesse swaggered across the
room in his snakeskin boots and gave his daughter a big boozy hug.
While laughing uproariously, the chief gave Nick a fierce slap on
the back which caused him to stumble forward.

“Don’t ever underestimate the strength of a
sailor, my boy,” Chief Hesse uttered from the side of his mouth.
Kate felt herself shrinking with embarrassment until Ginny Norris
suggested the guests of honor have a seat so dinner could be
served.

Kate’s father staggered away while Nick and
Kate retreated behind a wall of out of town guests. Chief Hesse
successfully detoured around the snobs behind which his daughter
entrenched herself. From the cordial aloof manner which Kate
treated Ed Hesse, no one would suspect they were related, let alone
father and daughter. As for her stepmother, despite Ed’s
encouragement not to, Kate almost always ignored her.

Ed Hesse lumbered to his wife and removed the
video camera from her shoulder. He had asked her to film his
welcome toast and capture his daughter’s triumphant arrival with
her cash cow. Chief Hesse had always told his daughter to marry for
money, and to his astonishment someone had actually taken his
advice for once. However, it was not money that made Ed Hesse
happy. He had little to show for his six-figure income, but he
understood money provided the means to security a woman required to
create a decent home life. Contrary to Ed’s attitude, money did
make Shayla happy. It pleased her to think that to have come from
so little, she finally wanted for nothing. All those years of
pinching pennies felt as far away as her first hangover.