Try - The Complete Romance Series (22 page)

The possibility that Patrick had gone cold
on me because he didn’t think that I would be a good co-parent for Landon
nagged at me even as I made my way through the crowds hanging around different
shops. I tried not to think about it, but it was definitely a possibility, and
if it was the reason that things had gone sour between us, I couldn’t exactly
blame Patrick for it. I didn’t know if I would be a good co-parent. Even though
I’d wanted kids since I’d been a teenager, I didn’t know if I would be good
even with my own kids—much less someone else’s kids, as a parent in their life
long after they’d already set up a dynamic with their first parent. I liked
kids—I wouldn’t have gone into the specialty that I had if I didn’t—but I knew
that it was very different to be around a particular kid every day on an
intimate level, instead of only seeing them for an hour several times a week.

I exchanged the presents I’d gotten that I
didn’t want, or that were too small—one of the nightgowns that Mom had gotten
me was not my taste at all, and the slippers Dad had bought for me, while cute,
didn’t fit on my feet. I got a new pair of slippers that did fit, and a nightgown
that I liked a lot better—and which was made of nice, warm flannel instead of
thin, gauzy nylon. I browsed the makeup counters and sniffed at a few perfumes,
but I reminded myself that for the amount of money I was spending, I wasn’t
going to get very much use out of them. I couldn’t and wouldn’t wear perfume to
work, since so many of the kids had allergies that would be affected.

I made it to Lush and gave into the
frenzied bustle going on around me; while I couldn’t justify spending a hundred
dollars on a perfume that I would get to use at best one night a week—and that
was assuming that I went out at all—I was more than happy to put good money
down on bath goodies to enjoy at the end of a hectic work week, especially with
the weather being so cold and dry. I grabbed a basket and browsed as much as
the press of other customers would allow me to, picking out a few of my old
favorites and then moving on to look over some of the newer items. My basket
slowly but surely filled up with one item after another: a few bath bombs that
I wouldn’t get another chance to buy now that the holiday season was over, a
couple of small bottles of shower gel in scents that would be nice, and some
lotion.

I added a few more items to my basket as I
wandered around, already starting to feel better about life in general. Maybe
when I got home I’d fill my bathtub, toss in one of the bath bombs, and soak
for an hour or two while I listened to music. I’d exfoliate from head to toe
and put a treatment in my hair, and then I would use one of my new shower gels,
and give my feet a thorough scrub, and get out and slather myself with lotion
afterwards. I’d sleep like the dead, and have enough energy and patience to
deal with my parents’ questions for an entire day once more.

I waited in line for the register and thought
about some of the couples-minded items that Lush sold as the people in front of
me inched forward. I’d always wanted to try their massage bars, but I hadn’t
had anyone to use them on—or to use them on me. It was a small loss, I told
myself as my turn at the register finally came up. I left the store before
anything else could tempt me, and headed into the cold once more. I decided
that I’d find somewhere good to grab dinner, and I’d maybe hit a couple of
other stores while I was out, maybe pick up some pantry things just for the
sake of making the trip less than completely gluttonous, and then I’d go home
and just spend the rest of the night pampering myself.

I wondered how Patrick’s Christmas with
Landon and their family had gone. I’d been wondering off and on since I’d
admitted I was seeing Patrick to my family—but I hadn’t been able to find the
courage to call or text him to ask. If he didn’t answer me, I wouldn’t know
whether it was because he was simply busy or because he honestly didn’t want to
talk to me—and I didn’t want to stress myself out even more. I hoped that at
least when I saw Landon again in a few days, at his next session, I’d be able
to ask him about the kite I’d gotten for him, and find out whether he’d liked
it. I hoped that Patrick would come in with his son, and stop playing games.

As I was making my way back to my car, I
remembered that I still had the big family New Years party ahead of me; now
that I had told my family that I was seeing someone, they would expect me to
show up with a date for the event. For a moment my heart sunk; I didn’t even
know if Patrick wanted to see me at all again—and having to explain the fact
that he wasn’t there to my parents would be more than a little bit awkward and
annoying. But then I thought about it; if I didn’t have a date for New Year’s
Eve, then I didn’t think that he would.

I had to give him some credit; in spite of
the fact that things had gotten strained between us, he had made an effort to
see me again a few days before. Even if it had just been dinner and shopping,
it had been nice to spend time with him. I thought about how it had felt when
Patrick had kissed me next to my car; that at least had been just as good as it
had ever been.

As I looked for my car, I spotted the café
where Patrick and I had gone on our first date and smiled to myself. It was
packed—as I would expect on the day after Christmas—and it was easy for me to
remember how nervous I’d been at the beginning of the date, and how much I’d
wanted to see more of him by the time the date was over and we made out at my
car.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I
realized that I could see Patrick in the café; he was sitting close to one of
the windows, and my heart started beating faster.
It’s a sign. You should call him.
I shifted my shopping bags around
and reached into my purse, smiling to myself. I had been thinking about how
much better it would be to have Patrick with me at my parents’ annual party,
and here was the perfect opportunity to invite him. If I played my cards right,
I might even be able to run into the café and have a quick cup of coffee with
him, and talk about where our relationship was. I was feeling brave and
happy—and I looked up again to make sure that he wasn’t getting up to leave before
I made my call.

Instead of seeing him leaving though, I
noticed that he wasn’t sitting alone. There was a woman at the table with him,
and as I watched, Patrick laughed at something she said, reaching out to tousle
her hair. All of the warmth in my body, all the happiness at spotting him at
random in the big city right when I most wanted to try to make things better
with him, evaporated.
Well that explains
why he’s been so weird,
I thought as my eyes began to sting. I started
walking away from the curb, back towards where I remembered parking my car, with
my phone still in my hand. The last thing I wanted to do then was go into the
café and talk to Patrick about anything.

But I have never been a coward. I’d seen
what had come between us: another woman, and though I hadn’t been able to make
out much of her face, she was beautiful. Gritting my teeth, I decided that it
was time to say something to Patrick after all. I pulled his contact
information up again and instead of tapping the icon to call him, I opened up a
new text message to him.
I was going to give
you a call—I’d seen that you were at the café we went to. But I’ve noticed that
you’re seeing someone else. I wish you would have just told me.
My fingers
tapped on the screen, and I blessed the fact that I had gloves that would let
me use my phone without having to freeze my fingers.
I was going to invite you to come with me to my parents’ New Year’s Eve
party, but obviously you’ve probably got other plans. It was nice to meet you,
Patrick.
I took a deep breath, debating whether to say anything else, and
decided that that was more than enough. I tapped send, stuffed my phone into my
pocket, and hurried to my car.

Chapter Ten - Patrick

“I cannot tell you how glad I am that you
agreed to get coffee with me,” Jessica said for the third time since we’d left
her house. As soon as I’d arrived to drop Landon off, I’d understood why she’d
been so desperate to get out; the kids were in rare form, playing some
make-believe game with their father, and I knew Landon would jump right in as
soon as he could—which would be great for getting him to go to bed on time. The
kids had all gotten spoiled by their grandparents that year, each of them
getting a pile of noisy, stimulating toys, and I had said a little prayer of
thanksgiving to myself that I only had one kid to contend with when it came to
rambunctious playing.

“I needed to get out as much as you did,”
I pointed out. “Besides, with all the Christmas craziness we didn’t really get
much chance to catch up on things.”

“You’re damn right about that!” Jessica
gave me a little smirk. “Like the fact that you’re seeing someone new. I had to
get that from Landon.” I laughed. It had gotten out that I was seeing
someone—Landon had mentioned Mack, but since he knew next to nothing about the
relationship, I’d kept my mouth as shut as possible about it around the family,
especially since I didn’t know how serious it could still, reasonably, become.

“Yeah, well, he made a bet that I wouldn’t
find him a new mom by New Year’s Day,” I said. “I had to make at least a token
effort to prove him wrong.” I took a sip of my coffee, thinking of the pretty
physical therapist and how much I’d wanted to make things right with her but
didn’t seem to have any notion of how to go about doing that.

“That’s a pretty crazy idea,” Jess told
me, raising an eyebrow. “So what’s she like?” I took a breath and tried to
think of just how I could describe Mack to my sister.

“She’s beautiful,” I said, first. “She’s
really dedicated to her work—that’s how we met, actually. She’s Landon’s
physical therapist. She’s smart, too. And funny.” I smiled, remembering some of
the jokes that Mack had made—almost all of them appropriate for all ages, and
somehow so corny that they were funnier than they would have been had anyone
else told them.

“She’s good at her work,” Jessica said.
“Landon isn’t even limping.”

“He’s got a ways to go still,” I pointed
out,
“ but
he’s making really good progress.”

“You like her,” Jessica said, making it
not quite a question.

“I do,” I told her. “I just—I don’t know
if we’re on the same page.”

“What do you mean?” Jessica frowned. “Is
she like, against premarital sex or something?”

“No, nothing like that—and you really need
to get a sex life of your own,” I replied. “I just don’t know how she feels
about kids.”

“Obviously she likes them or she wouldn’t
be in the line of work she’s in,” Jessica told me matter-of-factly. “And that
kite she got Landon is precious.”

“I just don’t know if she’d be interested
in being an almost-parent to Landon.”

Jessica chuckled. “Brother-dear, you’ve
known the woman for less than a month. The fact that you enjoy being around
her, and Landon likes her, is enough for right now, don’t you think? You’ve
gotten too wrapped up in this bet with Landon.”

“Well, sister-dear,” I said, making a face
at her, “I have to think about him. You know that. God forbid you lost your
husband someday—with your kids still young—you’d want to know as soon as you
could, dating someone, whether they’d work out with your kids, wouldn’t you?”

“Well she works with Landon a few times a
week, right?” I nodded. “And Landon likes her. After a month that’s kind of an
amazing thing.”

“She is good with him,” I admitted.
“Better in some respects even than I am.” I grinned wryly. “Landon actually
listens to her.”

“Kids always listen to relative strangers
more than they do their parents; it’s a fact of life.” Jess shrugged.

“I might have already screwed things up,”
I said with a sigh. “I canceled on her for a date—I told her I had a
last-minute business dinner, but really it was because of some things she’d
said while we were out together.”

“What did she say that would make you
cancel on a date?”

“It’s dumb,” I said, shaking my head. “She
said that she wasn’t sure that she’d ever get married or have kids—not that she
didn’t want them, just that she’d sort of given up on the idea.”

“You idiot! Of course she said that!”
Jessica shook her head at me. “One, no woman wants to look like she’s rushing a
relationship. It’s a sure-fire way to scare a guy off. Those are the kinds of
things you start talking about six months in, usually.”

“Yeah, but if we’re going to get serious,
I have to at least know that she’s going to be okay with sometimes watching
Landon, spending lots of time with him,” I countered. “And I can’t have her—or
anyone—just waltzing in and out of Landon’s life. It’s why I haven’t really
dated all this time. If it’s just going to be a fling, I need to know as soon
as possible.”

“You’re using Landon as an excuse to
sabotage your relationship with this girl and that isn’t cool,” Jess told me flatly.
“If you weren’t ready to date someone, you shouldn’t have asked her out on a
second, third, or fourth date. You should have just said that it was really
nice to see her socially, and left it at that.”

“But I wanted to get to know her better.”

“Well, the second thing I was going to say
is that it’s possible that she
has
given up on getting married and having kids. There’s probably a lot of guys out
there who can’t handle a woman who’s dedicated to her career, and from what
you’ve said about her it doesn’t sound like she’s exactly been mauling the
mattress the last few years.”