Truth or Dare (13 page)

Up close to Abi I could see she had a bunch of blackheads on her nose, like poppy seeds. Maybe she went to the nice dermatologist to pop them. Or whatever dermatologists did. I didn't like to think about it, to be perfectly honest.

“That's really nice of your mom,” I said. “And you.”

“It's not a big deal. We're totally here for you, Lia. We all are.”

“Thanks, Abi. I know.”

All of a sudden hot, messy tears sprang into my eyes. Not only because Abi had reminded me about my mom, or rather, my lack of a mom, but also because I felt guilty
about lying to my friends. Why had I made up a story about some nonexistent rash? Who cared if my dumb bra had a teeny bit of padding? For all I knew, my friends wore padding too. And the fact that I hadn't even
noticed
if they wore padding just proved how silly it was to lie about it.

And here was Abi being so sweet to me, offering her own mom like a substitute for my missing one. My friends were awesome; I was crazy to think that Abi was just mean, or that Val was just an older Mean Girl with a mom-ponytail. What was wrong with me? Maybe my brain was scrambled due to hormones.

If I even had any. Probably I didn't; that would explain my need for a fake-boob bra.

I scratched my pretend rash on my pretend chest.

“Thank you,” I repeated, to no one in particular.

AT LUNCH ABI HAD “A fun question” for us: “If you could switch bodies with anyone else you know personally, whose body would it be?”

Mak groaned. “Is this Truth or Dare? Because you know I'm not playing that game anymore.”

“It's just a
question
,” Abi replied. “But everyone should still answer truthfully.”

“Can I say a movie star?” Jules asked, giggling. That day she was wearing a pair of complicated dangly earrings her sister had passed on to her, and when she
laughed, all the earring parts quivered.

“Not unless you know the movie star personally,” Abi replied.

“Okay,” Jules said. “Then it would have to be Mak.”

Mak snorted. “No, seriously, Julesie.”

“I
am
serious. You're so strong. You have arm muscles. You're tall. You don't sunburn, and you look like a swimmer goddess in a bathing suit.”

“Oh, pul-lease,” Makayla said. But she was trying not to smile. “Who would you pick, Abi?”

“Jules,” Abi said. She was looking right at Mak, though, as if she were challenging her.

Jules rolled her eyes.

“No, it's true,” Abi told Jules. “You're so small and curvy. You look cute in everything, even when you're wearing one of your sister's old hand-me-downs.”

“Well, thanks.” Jules smiled and blushed pink, as if she didn't even hear the part about “old hand-me-downs.” “What about you, Mak?”

Mak chewed her turkey sandwich thoughtfully. Then she answered, “Well, Sarita, I guess. She has really long arms and legs, which is a big advantage if you're a swimmer. And her feet are really big too, so she gets a lot of flipper action.”

Abi guffawed.

“Why is that funny?” Mak demanded.

“I don't know. I didn't expect you'd say, ‘I'd rather be Bigfoot.' ”

“Because you're not a swimmer. And maybe you're slightly jealous of Sarita.”

“What? Why would I be?”

“I don't know, Abi. You tell me.”

Abi and Mak glared at each other across the lunch table. Abi's lower lip started to tremble. Mak hunched her shoulders, like she was expecting an attack.

Uh-oh,
I thought.
Here we go.

Jules must have been thinking the same thing, because she turned to me. “What about you, Lia?” she asked loudly.

“Let's all guess,” Abi said. “Ooh, I know. Ruby Lewis?”

“Shut up,” Jules said, giggling.

“Seriously. What is Ruby's
problem
? Someone needs to talk to that girl.”

“And say what?” Mak challenged Abi. “ ‘Excuse me, but have you considered not jiggling quite so much?' ”

Jules smiled sympathetically. “Ruby just needs a bra. Someone should tell her.”

“Like who?” Mak demanded.

“Doesn't she have a mom?” I asked.

“Divorced. Ruby lives with her dad,” Abi informed
us. “What I heard was she sees her mom, like, once a year. Tops.”

“Don't say ‘tops,' ” Mak said.

Jules put her hand over her mouth to cover up her giggle. “But really, only once a year? That's so
sad.
”

Then she peeked at me guiltily, as if Ruby's once-a-year mom situation wasn't the worst thing she could think of. I pretended not to notice.

“You know what I think?” Abi said. “Someone should go to the mall and buy Ruby a bra and just, like, slip it into her gym locker.”

“What?
No
,” I said, horrified.

Everyone looked at me curiously. Even Marley, who hadn't said a word the whole time.

“Why not?” Abi pressed. “It would be an anonymous gift.”

“I just don't think she'd take it the right way,” I said quickly. “What if someone's mom talked to Ruby instead? Like Val, maybe?” I turned to Abi. “Because, I mean, if anyone's mom could do something like that, it would be yours.”

As I said this I got the irony of suggesting Val, of all people, to talk to Ruby instead of slipping a bra into Ruby's locker. But even so, I meant it as a compliment to Val.

So I was surprised that Abi scowled at me. “My mom
has enough stuff to do these days, you know? And anyway, Lia, you never gave your answer.”

“About the body-switching thing?” I took a breath. “Well, I hate to admit this, but I'd have to say Logan.”

“You mean that girl Tanner cheated on?” Jules asked. Her eyes widened.

I nodded. “Yeah. She wasn't a nice person, or anything, but truthfully, I wish I could look like her in a bikini.”

Was Jules finally noticing my fake chest? She was definitely looking me over. “Well, Lia, I'm sure you'd look fine in a bikini, if you ever wore one. And don't forget, Tanner cheated on Logan to be with
you.
”

“Yeah,” I said. “I guess.”

Also, was Abi narrowing her eyes as if she didn't believe me? Or was it just my guilty conscience?

“Lia, how old did you say Logan was?” Abi asked.

Had I said anything about Logan's age? I couldn't remember, but I didn't want to contradict myself. “Fourteen, maybe?”

Abi blinked. “Wow. So you're saying that this Tanner guy cheated on a gorgeous girl his own age to make out with
you.
”

“We didn't make out. We kissed. Once.” I was sweating; soon I'd need to wring out the padding.

“Maybe he thought Lia was nicer than Logan,” Jules suggested.

“Mmmf,” Abi said. “Maybe.” She was having an eye conversation with Mak; I was sure of it.

“What about you, Marley?” I asked desperately.

Marley picked a blob of cheese off her pizza. “What about me
what
?”

“Who would you pick?”

“Whose nose would I pick?”

“No, you dummy,” Mak said. “Whose body?”

“Yeah, I heard the question, Makayla.
Well.
Since you're forcing me to join in this conversation, I have to tell you truthfully that I think it's a stupid question and I refuse to answer it. I think we should all be happy with the bodies we have and not be jealous of other people. And not be making fun of Ruby, who's actually a very nice person. Also, I think worrying about how you look in a bikini is boring and a waste of brainpower. If you really want to wear a bikini, Lia, then just
do
it.”

I felt slapped.

Abi's mouth twisted. “Marley, can you please explain something? Why do you always have to ruin everything?”

“I'm not ruining anything,” Marley said calmly. “You said I had to answer your question, so I did.”

“It's Marley's opinion,” I said weakly.

Abi ignored me. “And, Marley, why are you even sitting with us if you don't want to join in? Go sit with your boyfriend, Graydon. You know you want to!”

Marley shot me a look from under her bangs.

“Why don't you kiss him, Marley?” Abi continued. “Go ahead. We all dare you.”

“Not me,” I muttered.

Abi raised her eyebrows. “Really, Lia? Why? Oh, because
you
like him too?”

“Nobody likes anybody,” Marley growled. She stood. “You know what? I'm done. I really
don't
understand why you all keep playing stupid games or answering Abi's stupid questions. Any of you. Especially Lia.”

She grabbed her remaining pizza crust, tossed it into the nearby trash, and headed quickly toward the lunchroom doors.

“Marley, wait,” I said.

But the thing was, she never did.

I DIDN'T SEE MARLEY UNTIL dismissal, and only then because I stalked her. Well, not
stalked
her, but waited by her locker, where I knew she couldn't avoid me. And then followed her out of the building as she tried to escape.

“Marley, are you going to keep ignoring me?” I shouted at her back.

A block from school she slowed down to let me catch up. “I'm not ignoring you, Lia. I just have nothing else to say.”

“Marley,” I said, trying to catch my breath. “I know you never liked the Truth or Dare game; you said so at
the beginning. But it's over; we're not even playing it anymore!”

“Yeah, and now everyone's being all
truthful
with each other, right?” Her eyes pierced me through her glasses.

“Well, yeah,” I said.

She kicked some pebbles. “Lia, I used to feel like we got each other, you know? But lately I don't know. I don't know
you.
”

“What do you mean?”

“The way you let Abi bully you into talking about your mom—”

“She didn't bully me. I told you, I
wanted
to talk about it!”

“Yeah? So how come you never did before that time in the diner? Plus, the way you made up that ridiculous story about kissing Tanner.”

“Why was it ridiculous?”

“High school freshmen don't make out with twelve-year-olds. If he'd kissed you on a public beach, someone would have punched him or told your aunt. And all that stuff about his nasty girlfriend with the bikini body—”

“But Logan
does
look great in a bikini! That was true!”

“Okay, whatever. Fine. And the way you lied about your period.”

We stared at each other.

“What?” I could barely breathe.

“That was a lie, wasn't it? You haven't started your period yet, have you?”

“No,” I murmured. “You're right. I haven't.” My arms crossed my padded chest. “How could you tell?”

“I'm a visual person, right? I notice things.” She pushed her bangs out of her eyes. “Like how whenever Jules gets her period, her hair is flat and greasy and she has zits on her forehead. And when Makayla got her first period? I knew it was coming, because she kept rubbing her belly like she had cramps.”

“What about Abi?”

“Truthfully, I haven't noticed much, except how moody and mean she's been lately.”

I nodded. It was a relief to hear someone say it. “And me?”

“You? Okay, you, Lia.” She began counting off her fingers. “You've been totally flat until today. Your hair is always the same. Your skin isn't oily. You don't get zits. You don't smell after gym. You don't talk about food cravings. You never act tired or crampy or grumpy for no reason. Should I go on?”

I shook my head. I couldn't bear to hear any more symptoms.

“So how come you lied about it?” Marley asked.

“I don't know,” I wailed. “All that camp talk, I guess; I just felt so left out. Didn't you?”