Trusting Jake (Blueprint To Love Book 1) (15 page)

"How does eight sound? That too early?"

"Eight will be fine. W-would you like to have breakfast with us? I promised Al I'd make French toast. It's his favorite. I know he'd . . . be thrilled if-" She swallowed hard, the dread on her face hard to ignore. "If you were there."

He forced a smile when she glanced back. Jen looked as though she'd rather swallow shards of glass than remain with him another second. "That'll be great. I'll see you in the morning."

Chapter 10

Jenna barely slept, bolting awake several times during the night from the same awful dream. She was in a dark hole. Able to see the light at the top, but every time she tried to climb out, the sides grew more slippery and the earth moved under her feet. . . sinking her a little deeper with each attempt.

At five, she finally gave up. With a shiver of apprehension, she threw herself into the shower. It would probably take an hour to figure out what to wear. What did one wear on a casual date with her boss? On a date where neither party could bear the thought of being near the other? What was she doing? She could barely look at Jake without thinking about that kiss. About that incredible, awful kiss. Without thinking about how much she wanted to do it again.

What if she said something stupid? Gave herself away? What if Jake figured out she was in love with him? A whole day spent in his company. Anything could happen. What if Megan decided to play matchmaker again? Or worse. What if one of them mentioned Rick? He'd been dead six months– but gone from their lives nearly eighteen. The kids rarely ever spoke of him. But time spent with Jake made them think about fathers. He made them realize what they were missing. How would it look if he learned the truth from her children?

Jenna frowned as she stepped out of the shower. No, he had to hear the truth from her. She would have to forsake privacy and dismantle the wall of lies she'd built around herself. For the sake of her relationship with Jake, she would confess. She didn't like knowing she'd lied to him. He deserved the truth. The knowledge of her deceit was bad enough, but the likelihood of exposure had magnified greatly since he'd befriended her children. She'd never asked them to lie about their father. The subject of her dead husband had surfaced so rarely, he hadn't been an issue until now.

She'd tried to confess the truth the night before, when Jake accused Rick of being an absentee father. She'd wanted to tell him the night of the kiss . . . if he'd stuck around long enough to hear her confession. But he hadn't wanted to listen.

Jen paused as she slipped a turtleneck over her head. Why was that? Why hadn't Jake wanted to hear what she needed to confess? Did he care so little about her that it didn't matter? The personal details of her life weren't important to him? Well, this time, he would listen. "Today," she muttered. There would certainly be plenty of time. But how the heck would she bring it up?

"By the way, Jake– I lied when you hired me. I'm not really married. So, when I attacked you the other night– it wasn't really cheating. It was because I haven't had sex in four years." Grimacing, she tugged on her jeans. Great. She wasn't unfaithful– only desperate and pathetic. She chewed her lip in apprehension. How would Jake take the news? He'd probably be disappointed in her. Maybe angry. But, what if he questioned her motives? What was her reason for telling him
now
? Would he think she was suggesting an affair? Why now– when she could have told him any number of times over the past four months?

Instead of making their situation better, she might make it worse. Not only had she lied, but by telling Jake now he might assume she wanted something from him.

"Damn." Yanking the closet door open, she rooted around for the hair dryer. Maybe she should keep her mouth shut until she could distance herself from that kiss. Once a little more time passed, she could quietly inform him she was divorcing Rick. That way– the kiss and the divorce would be completely separate events. There'd be no way he could presume she'd left Rick to pursue a fling with him.

Judging by his reaction last night, he wouldn't ask any questions. Jake definitely didn't like getting involved in his employees' lives.Everyone would win. She could finally come clean. The worry over her boss learning about Rick from someone else would disappear. The repugnant details of the humiliating life she'd escaped would be forever sealed. Jake would never find out. Jen would preserve the reputation she'd worked so hard to build.

Winking at her image in the mirror, she released a satisfied sigh. Finally, a workable plan. What could a few more weeks hurt?       

***

"Hi Jake!"

"Hey, Sport. You ready to find the best Christmas tree in all Virginia?" 

"Yeah. And I'm gonna be the one to find it!"

Stepping into the foyer, Jake breathed in the delicious smells emanating from the kitchen. He hadn't taken two steps before his stomach began rumbling. Who was he kidding? Despite the tension between him and Jen . . . he'd been looking forward to this day all week. And he was starving.

"Hi, Jake," Megan called from the dining room. She was busy pouring juice into glasses that looked awfully fancy for a Saturday morning breakfast. He waved back before summoning his courage to enter the kitchen and face her mother.

Sweet God, she looked good. Her back still to him, he stole a glance at Jen's denim-clad rear end. And legs. His eyes did a double-take. She had legs worthy of fighting battles. He'd suspected as much. Hell, he'd dreamed of them. The conservative, boxy suits she wore at work couldn't hide the hints of a body that kept him awake at night. Clenching his hands at his sides, he took a careful step closer and bit back a sigh.

Damn, she smelled even better. He was caught off-guard when she glanced over her shoulder. Vivid, blue eyes seemed able to see straight into his head. Quickly shuttering his expression, he prayed she couldn't see through his sunglasses.

"Morning. Whatever you're making sure smells great." There. Normal, everyday conversation. He could do it. At least if he kept talking, it would stop him from nibbling the dangerously sexy nape of her neck. "Anything I can do to help?"    

Jen offered a smile before turning back to the stove. "Everything's under control here. Maybe you could pour coffee?"

"Coming right up." She didn't seem nervous and for that, he was relieved. Maybe they'd get through the day unscathed. Moving to her left, Jake opened the cabinet, not even realizing he knew where the mugs were. He'd remembered from the last time he'd visited. Tuesday. The night of the kiss. He hurriedly moved away from her. The coffee maker was at the far end of the counter. And right now, he needed some distance.

A moment later, he nearly jumped out of his skin when she placed her hand on his arm. His whole body tensed when she stood on tiptoe, leaning in to whisper in his ear. Jake nearly groaned with pleasure. Was she trying to kill him?

"Make sure you compliment Meg on the table. She's been setting it for an hour because you were coming over."

He released a ragged sigh when she chuckled and drifted away. "I noticed she was using some pretty nice crystal for the juice." 

"I think she has a crush on you."

"At least someone does these days." His heart already thudding in response to the casual banter, he promptly tossed out the resolution he'd made to keep his distance. Jen was relaxed, her walls temporarily down. More than anything, he wanted to spend the day with her. To learn what she was really like . . . under that formal reserve. Maybe she'd lower her guard a little. Her hair was wavy and loose, held back by a ponytail that fell past her shoulders.

He'd be fine, Jake reminded himself. He was completely under control. His desire placed under a firm chokehold. And he'd make it– just so long as she didn't touch him again.     

***

The day was passing too fast. As Jake suspected, the kids were having a blast. Jen, too. She'd been smiling and laughing all morning. Inch by inch, she'd let her hair down, seeming to forget– at least for the day, what had passed between them. Shamelessly, he was drinking it in, careful not to say anything that might cause her to clam up.

True to his word, Alex had found the perfect tree, but he'd yet to convince his sister. And Megan refused to concede.

"I can't cut it down until you both agree," Jake announced in an attempt to stop the argument. They both turned to stare at him, stunned silent for a moment. He winked at Jen. "My brother and I come out here each spring to plant new trees. We always replace the ones we cut down. So, I'm not chopping one down, only to have you find one you like better. It takes nine years for a seedling to grow into a Christmas tree."

"What's your brother's name again?" Megan seemed to have forgotten her argument with Alex.

"Jefferson. He's my younger brother, just like Al."

"And your real name's Jackson. Your cousin's name is Harrison?"

"Uh-huh." Glancing over her head, he nodded to the next hill. "Have you guys checked that hill over there? I thought we had a couple beauties growing just beyond that rise." Alex didn't wait to hear the rest. He tore off, intent on checking out the trees while Megan hung back, a question still in her eyes.

"Your dad's name is Lincoln, right? And what about your uncle? What was his name?"

"Megan– it's not polite to ask so many questions." 

Jake shook his head with a smile. "It's okay. I think she's onto something." Crouching to her eye level, he watched Megan, who had picked up a stick and was drawing circles in the snow at their feet.

"My uncle's name was Buchanan. What's familiar about all those names?"

"They're all presidents. All of you are named after presidents," she announced smugly.

He laughed when Jenna did a double-take. "That's right, Smartie. Even your mom didn't catch that." He was rewarded with a victorious smile before Meg dropped her stick and took off after her brother, who was waving at them from the top of the hill.

"We called him Uncle Bucky for short."

Jen cracked up. "If he was anything like Harry, I can't imagine he enjoyed that."

He grinned. "You're very astute."

"I never put it together," she muttered. She raised her gaze to his. "What a cool idea. How many generations has that been going on?"

"My grandfather was Cleveland Traynor. His brother was Fillmore, of all things." He wrinkled his nose. "Thank God that one was already taken by the time I came along. My great-grandfather was Johnson. . . after Andrew, not Lyndon."

"Johnson Traynor? Sounds prestigious."

"Linc has another brother, Grant. He was never part of Specialty. Lives in northern Maryland. They have six kids– all involved in their own family business."

She startled. "All with presidential names?"

"Nah. Uncle Grant didn't get along with Grampy Cleveland, so he went against tradition." They started walking again as a gust of wind shook snow from the trees overhead. In a pine-scented storm, the icy crystals drifted down around them, falling with soft plops into the wet piles on the ground. "You cold?"

"Not yet. It's beautiful here. So quiet. How many acres did you say your family owns?" Jenna's breath puffed out in little white clouds in the chilly air.      

"A few hundred . . . give or take. It's a great place for kids. I loved it here when we were growing up. Jeff and Harry and I would come out here in the summer to camp in these woods. We still love it– just don't get out here as much as we'd like."  

"You know, it's only forty-five minutes from Stafford– have you ever thought about commuting from here?"

He smiled. "All the time. But. . ."  He tilted his head, squinting into the painfully clear sky to track a pair of hawks soaring overhead. He followed their path until they were out of sight. "I'd have some serious work to do on the cabin. It's fine the rest of the year, but winter's really cold unless you keep the fire going 'round the clock." 

"It seems large enough. You must have four or five bedrooms in there." Jen clapped her hands together to ward off the cold as they tramped up the hill.

"Six actually. We still spend Christmas out here every year. Everyone comes out for a few days . . . my sister and her family. . . Harry, Jeff. Even Mona still comes. She decorates like crazy and cooks enough food for an army. We end up lighting all the fireplaces and wearing lots of layers." 

"That sounds amazing." Shaking her head, she smiled. "I hope you realize how lucky you are." 

Jake didn't miss the wistfulness in her voice. Her eyes had been teasing, but her smile was sad. Crossing his fingers, he took a tiny step. "What about your family? Get together much for the holidays?"

Raising her hand to her eyes, Jenna gazed up the hill at Alex. "No. My parents are gone-"

"I'm sorry. Was that recent?"

Still not looking at him, she seemed to weigh her words. "Drunk driver. I was– I'd just left school . . . to marry Rick. They were . . . not pleased."

She'd dropped out for him. And he'd repaid the favor by alienating her from her parents– her support system. How old could she have been? Twenty?

"Anyway, they're gone. And my brothers are scattered all over the country. I rarely get to see them anymore. David's in Delaware, Dan's in LA-"

"How many brothers do you have?" He held his breath, praying Jen wouldn't realize she was exchanging information . . . that she was truly talking with him for the first time.

"Three. Billy, Dan and David. All older than me. I was the baby." She laughed when Alex launched a half-hearted snowball down the hill. They were still safely out of range, but she dropped to her knees and started scooping up snow anyway. "Totally over-protected me. Unfortunately, by the time I should've been old enough to screen out the bad ones, I was still clueless."