Trusted (7 page)

“Although, Jesso is also a fair shot with the bow and arrow,” Garrick said.

“I’d much rather use claws and teeth,” Jesso said.

Sarea could believe that. She didn’t recall ever seeing Jesso in truform, but she imagined that he would be quite a sight, as big as he was. He would perhaps even rival the king in size. It was fortunate that Jesso was one of the Trusted, one of the ones Garrick could count on. He could be quite a threat otherwise.

Now why was she worrying about who would be a threat to the king? She had never cared about the political machinations of the court. Her concerns had always been more down to earth, closer to home.

“It must be nice, to change into truform and hunt in the woods,” Sarea said wistfully. “We women are only allowed to change into truform once we are mated. Except for a couple of times when I was a child, I have never changed into my truform.”

“So…you do not know what you even look like?” the king asked, sounding astonished.

“Well, no. And this is true of most women.”

“But surely…I would have thought…in the privacy of your own estates you would change and run free.”

“It is considered unseemly, as you well know,” Sarea said.

“I do,” he said with a frown. “It is not something I agree with. Truform is a blessing, one that should be treasured. You should be able to run free…if even only on your fathers estates.”

“Would you want your daughters to run about in truform?” Sarea asked candidly.

“Yes,” he answered readily. “And my queen…if I had one. The castle grounds are vast. And though they are nothing like the red woods, there would be plenty of room to stretch out paws and limbs. A woman in truform should be considered a thing of beauty. A rare gem.”

“Ah, but would it be so rare if every woman was allowed to do it at every opportunity?” Sarea asked.

“I believe it would. I would never tire of seeing my mate in truform,” the king said.

“And there’s always the option of chasing her down,” Jesso said with a wicked grin.

Isobol gasped and then fanned herself with her hand.

“I don’t know if a lady can withstand a conversation of this nature,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

“True. Forgive me,” Jesso said, catching the hand she was fanning herself with and bringing it to his lips for an apologetic kiss. Then he tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. “Let me take you on a tour of the castle as a way of making it up to you.”

“An excellent idea,” the king said, reaching to pick up Sarea’s hand and following Jesso’s example. “Ladies, would you care to join us?” he said to Hycinth and Juness.

They agreed eagerly and Garrick offered his free arm to Hycinth who blushed as she took it. Jesso did likewise for Juness.

The six of them toured the castle and all its many grand rooms. From the throne room to the vast ballroom. When they were in the ballroom Hycinth said, “I do so long for a grand ball. Perhaps a masquerade. With masks and mystery, never knowing who you are dancing with from one moment to the next.”

“An excellent idea. Jesso, see that we arrange a masque. Something to celebrate the harvest and coming winter.”

“Absolutely, my king,” Jesso said with a grin. “I will see to it immediately. And Lady Hycinth shall help with the planning!”

“Oh but I couldn’t!” Hycinth said, flushing. “What would I know about a masque on such a grand scale?”

“Women always know how to plan the details of such things. Your friends can help you. We’ll call it the Harvest Masque. We’ll have music, performers for entertainment, golden decorations,” the king said. “Whatever you wish you need only ask and it will be provided.”

“Oh! What a wonderful thing!” Hycinth said, beside herself with delight. The king was asking
her
to plan a ball!

Sarea had never seen her friends so pleased and excited. The girls immediately swarmed around Jesso, coming up with ideas for the ball. It left Sarea alone with the king, who led her out of the ballroom and onto the terrace that led into the gardens. Before she knew it she was walking along a path in relative solitude with the king.

“Perhaps we should go back,” she said uneasily.

She felt the muscle of his arm tense beneath her fingers.

“Is the idea of being alone with me so repugnant to you?” he asked on a sigh.

“No! Not at all,” she said quickly and earnestly. “I only meant…I’m just not used to being alone with a man. Especially a man who…”

“Wants you?” he finished for her, stopping to turn her to face him. He reached up and tucked a stray strand of her hair back behind her ear.

“Yes,” she said, her breath leaving her. “I realize that sounds very childish to a man like you. A man who…has had many paramours.”

He laughed. “That is a very kind way of putting it,” he said. “I am a man who knows what he wants when he wants it.”

“And is used to getting his way.” She widened her eyes. “Oh! I didn’t mean…!”

“Sarea, let us make a pact. That you will say exactly what is on your mind at any time, and I will not take long term offense to it.”

“But you took offense when I spoke my mind before.”

“What did you say that wasn't the truth? And I value the truth in others. My Trusted are very honest with me, they do not fear me as so many others seem to do. I don’t know why they should fear me. It is not as though I am prone to temper or unfairness.”

“You are the king. As the cat you are the most feared warrior among us.”

“And as the man? I try and temper myself in my rule. In my dealings with others. I know I am intimidating. But…I would not wish for
you
to be intimidated by me.”

“I…try not to be. But you are very…large.”

He threw back his head and laughed, which made her smile.

“Indeed I am. In many ways.” He gave her a wink and she promptly blushed to the roots of her hair. “But do we have a pact? It is the same pact I make with my Trusted. ‘To tell me the truth in all things. To guide me to a better rule. To guide me into being the better man.’”

“’To always uphold the values that I myself hold above all others,’” she said, repeating some of the Trusted oath.

“Exactly.”

“Very well. I accept. But you must make me a promise. Not to push me into things I do not wish to do.”

“Ah, but how do you know you don’t wish to do them if you do not try them?” he countered. “You are untried in the ways of men and women, and it does you credit, but I would have you open yourself to the idea that not all affection is meant to lead to sex between a man and a woman.”

“Are you saying that is not your eventual goal?”

He frowned thoughtfully. “I do not really know what my eventual goal is. All I know is…right now I wish to kiss you more than anything I have wanted for quite some time.”

“Oh,” she said, looking away from him. “Am I to give you your promised kiss then?”

“Actually, I would like to save that particular promised kiss for a time when
you
wish to kiss
me
. This is wholly my desire to kiss you.”

He drew her a step closer, her skirts swirling around his shins. He touched her face, running warm fingertips over the apple of her cheek before setting her chin into his hand. He tipped her head back and approached her slowly, clearly not wishing to spook her. She found herself growing impatient and realized she wanted this kiss. He wasn’t just going to be taking from her, she was going to be giving.

He touched his mouth to hers and she felt hiss warm firm lips. It was a very chaste kiss, pressing gently, giving no heat. She found herself frustrated by it. She had thought him to be a man of great passions, and yet here he was giving her a boy’s kiss.

He drew back and smiled down at her. “Is there a problem?” he asked.

“Well…no,” she said, sighing. She wasn’t about to be the one to tell him his kiss did not stir her.

“What has it been? Five minutes and already you are forgetting our pact?”

“It’s only that…I just thought…there would be more.”

“To what?” he asked, his eyes glimmering with humor.

“To a kiss with you!”

“Ah. So you want more?”

“I…well…I…” That was when she realized he was purposefully baiting her. He had given her that chaste kiss as a way of drawing out her true desires. “You are a fiend, my king!” she cried.

“Garrick,” he said, right before he swooped in and arrested her mouth with his. The kiss was instantly hot, full of the heat he had been holding in check in order to tease her, to draw her out. His mouth slanted over hers, and she welcomed him. His fingertips on her chin drew her mouth open and his tongue dipped into her mouth for the first time.

Fire unfurled within her, shocking her with its intensity. She had shared kisses with other boys, but here was a man’s kiss, the kiss she had been expecting all along. The kiss she had been afraid of. Only now that she was receiving it she did not feel fear as much as she felt heart pounding excitement. His tongue sought hers and she encouraged him shamelessly. She felt his hand tightening at her waist, drawing her into his body. She was aware of hardened muscle and strong male heat radiating into her from head to toe. She felt him pulling her onto her toes, and then completely off her feet altogether as he hugged her tightly to his body.

Sarea felt her limbs growing heavy and languorous, the points of her nipples hardening as excitement raced over her skin. She had never felt anything like the contrasting sensations before in her life. Her breath came fast and she heard him make a deep, contented sound. A purr. He was purring. She didn’t blame him. She was just shy of purring herself. Then she wasn’t just shy of it any longer. She began to make the sound, the vibrations of it blending in with the ones eddying off of him.

He drew back from her, his lips wet with their kiss. Hers were too and she licked the honey off of them, savoring the combined flavor of them. Him and her. Her and him. She was shocked to find out how much the idea excited her.

But no! She shouldn’t be encouraging this! This could only lead to bad things!

But what could ever be bad about kisses that felt so good?
she argued with herself. Confused, she stepped back away from him. He said she was in control, but now she felt even more out of control than ever. Could she trust herself around him?

Chapter Seven

“Ah. I see how hard your mind is working,” he said before turning her to his side and tucking her hand back into the crook of his arm. “But before you twist yourself into knots over it, simply take a moment to enjoy it for what it was. A simple kiss between a man and a woman.”

“Simple?” she echoed in shock, “You call that simple?”

Garrick frowned then nodded his head in acquiescence, “You are right. There was nothing simple about it.” He leaned toward her, placing his mouth above her ear and breathing hotly through her hair as he whispered, “It is a rare thing to fine such fire in a kiss. I had to keep myself from…from doing things you are not ready for.”

“Nor will I ever be!” she cried in sudden anxiety. “You push too far!”

“I push just far enough,” he argued, his free hand coming to cover hers where it rested in his arm. “Do not run away so fast. I will not hurt you,” he said, kissing her temple gently.

“I…I don’t know what to make of all of this,” she said in frustration.

“Stop trying to figure everything out all at once. Stop jumping twenty paces ahead. Live in the moment for now and do not constantly think of the future.”

“Is that advice you would give yourself?” she asked him.

He paused to think about it a second. “I would advise myself to do both. To live in the moment and look to the future. As a king I must constantly look to the future for my people. As a man, I must learn to live my life as it comes, lest I find myself missing out on all the things that make life worth living.”

She saw the wisdom in his words and tried to apply it to her own situation. She bit her lip and said, “You should know my intentions are to give myself to only one man…my husband. I know it is considered prestigious to be lover to the king, but I do not aspire to that kind of prestige.”

“I never thought that you did. In fact, it is your distinct lack of ambition in that regard that makes you so appealing.”

“How so?” she asked him, looking up into his eyes curiously as they walked. She was once again struck by the fair purple color of his eyes. They would seem so feminine…had they been on any other man.

“There are many women in this court vying for my attention, many willing to do anything to say they were the lover of the king. As you yourself have pointed out, my reputation is such that all I need do is speak to a woman for more than a single conversation and it assumed she is my lover. Very often this is perpetrated by the woman herself. I am far more discerning than people give me credit for. I have had only three long term mistresses since the death of my queen and half as many conquests as I am given credit for…if that much. Do not get me wrong, I am a man of great appetites, be it for food, life or sex. But I am not the glutton I am made out to be.

“It pleases me that you do not wish to throw away your virginity just for the sake of the fame of being my lover. It speaks to your personal code of honor. It is rare for me to find someone so determined to fight against the big bad king’s reputation, rather than desiring to be swept along with it.

“But I am determined to spend time with you…to get to know you better…and that will subject you to a certain amount of notoriety. I think you are strong enough to swim in the face of it all. Am I wrong to think so?”

“No. You are not wrong,” she said with a determined lift to her chin. “I will readily deny that which people will assume. They will expect me to do otherwise, so I expect it will confuse them. And even if they don’t believe me…I will know the truth and in the end that should be all that matters.”

“Indeed it is,” he said, lifting her hand from the crook of his elbow briefly to press a kiss to the back of it. “You are a precious thing, Sarea. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“I won’t,” she assured him. A warm and special feeling swelled inside of her. She felt as though he treasured who she was, and it was so different than what she had expected from him when entering into that day. She had thought he would run roughshod over her, that he would dismiss her hopes and dreams in lieu of his own desires. Now here he was trying to reassure her that those things were part of what he liked about her.

“Good. Because at the very least I think I should like us to be very good friends,” he said.

She laughed. “You hardly know me well enough to want to be friends with me. What if I turn out to be a terrible liar? Or perhaps I am vain and selfish.”

“A selfish girl would not have risked all to gain attention for her brother from the king.” He frowned. “Had I been a different man you could have bee seriously injured.”

“Injured? In what way?”

“In many ways,” he assured her. “Not the least of which could have been the injury to your self worth, which I am gathering is very important to you.”

“My brother is more so,” she said with feeling. “I would risk all for any member of my family.”

“Tell me truthfully. Did you volunteer to do this, or did he ask you to?”

“Well, both I imagine. I could have said no to him.”

“But he knew you wouldn’t do that,” he said with a frown.

“Perhaps he did. I don’t know if he was thinking that far into it. He knows what he wants and is willing to do most anything to get it.”

“His ambition will be the death of him…or someone close to him.”

“All he’s ever wanted to do is serve you in the very best way he can. That is his true ambition. He is not doing this for fame and glory as most are inclined to. He is enamored of you. You have been his hero ever since you rose to power upon your father’s death twelve yana ago. He would never pretend to be you as a boy as his friends were wont to do, he would always pretend to be Trusted. The protector of the king. He would battle all comers and defeat them all!” She made a flourish with an invisible sword and he laughed at her imitation of her brother as a child.

“And which of your brothers played the king?” he asked her with a chuckle.

“I did!” She laughed. “I was closest in age to him.”

“I see,” he said with amusement. “So it is you I have to be worried about.”

“Indeed you should. I might do a better job running this country than you.”

“Oh ho! Well, talking with you these past few times I am inclined to believe you would do a fair job of it, but running a country is about more than figuring out who to educate and which crops to grow. There is defense to consider. If you want your neighbors to take you seriously, then a country must be run by a man.”

“Would that it were not so,” she said with a little frown. “But even if tradition didn’t dictate that the Vena be run by a male monarch, our neighbors would not take a female ruler as seriously.” She paused and then edged into the next question. “Why is it you have no heir? It…it is said you have many bast—“ She cut herself off, frowning over the use of the word. “Children born outside of a traditional marriage. Why have you not claimed one of them to heir?”

His expression clouded over darkly. “Here is another instance when rumor outstrips the man. I have been accused of fathering many bastards,” he said, refusing to shy away from the word as she had. “But there is only one child that is truly mine. And she was from a time before I learned of ways to prevent such things from happening.”

“You can…you can prevent a child? How is that possible?”

He chuckled. “You are naïve aren’t you?”

She flushed and grew angry. “There’s no need to make fun of me!”

“Oh, kitten, that isn’t what I’m doing at all,” he reassured her, pausing in their steps to kiss her cheek softly. “Your naiveté is one of the most charming things about you. But has your mother not taught you anything in the ways of men and women?”

“Not very much,” she admitted. “Whenever I ask her something she gets very flustered and says we will discuss it the night of my wedding. But I have gleaned much on my own from married friends and watching other beasts in the fields.”

“We are very much like the beasts in the field,” he said. “Especially when we mate in truform. But there is more elegance to it when we mate in this form. If you have any questions, I would be more than happy to answer them.”

Sarea blushed to think of asking the
king
questions about sex. She grew frustrated with her mother for not being more forthcoming. And yet the woman had thought to make her daughter mistress of the king! Without telling her anything!

“You may tell me how to prevent children,” she said with almost regal permission.

Garrick leaned a little closer and suddenly they were sharing secrets against the outside world. “You know that a man must put himself inside a woman. Do you know of the quaking that comes when the act is culminated?”

“I…” She blushed and shook her head.

“The end of the act comes when each partner has reached orgasm, a state of pleasure that, for a man, results in him spending seed into a woman. This seed is where children come from. It takes root inside the woman and—“

“I know where children come from,” she said on a shy laugh.

“The way to prevent the child is to never spend seed inside the woman. And man pulls out of her and spends his seed outside of her body.”

“Oh! Well that makes perfect sense,” she said with a firm nod. “I don’t know why it doesn’t occur to all of these women who are bearing bastard children.”

“If they are as naïve as you are, you can see how they would not know any better. The same is true of the male. Some are quite inexperienced…as I was when I fathered my daughter Areela.”

“How old is Areela?”

“She is twelve. Almost a young woman now.”

“Why does no one know about her?”

“It is her mother’s wish. I would have it differently, but…I respect her desires. Her mother did not want her raised in court where there would be so many people trying to attach themselves to her, trying to curry favor through her. And I agreed as far as that was concerned. So she is raised innocent of court and all its machinations. Also, her mother wishes her to marry for love and home, not for political maneuvering. Again, I agreed with her.”

Sarea was very impressed by both the child’s mother and her father. The king could have easily run roughshod over the mother’s desires and taken the child to court. The mother could easily have used the king and her position as mother to the king’s bastard for power and position.

“Who was she? Areela’s mother?”

“Now…understand I am trusting you with this information. No one is to know.” He frowned. “It would anger me a great deal were this information to become public knowledge. I have worked hard at providing for them without anyone being the wiser.”

“I wouldn’t tell a soul,” she promised him.

“She was an young woman in my father’s court. The daughter of a nobleman. She was sixteen yana like I was. We were madly in love…or so we thought. When she was found to be pregnant I told my father I wished to marry her. But…by then I was already betrothed to the princess from the Borum eastlands. Since we were in active war with the Umam at the time, my father needed the eastland troops. My father bought the silence of the girl’s father and I married the princess.”

“Only to have her die in under a yana,” Sarea said. “Why not marry your sweetheart then?”

“She had already been married off to a merchant. She is wed to him still, my daughter being raised as his own. He knows who her father is, he accepts the stipend I send every yana. But he loves the child as his own and we have agreed she will be free to wed whomever she desires. Then, perhaps one day, we will tell her who her real father is. But I will be all right if we never do. We will always do what is best for her. It’s for her mother to decide.”

“Do you love your child?”

“I do not know her, but I care for her a great deal. That is my one true regret in this, that I cannot freely love her.”

“That’s so sad. I don’t know what I would do were our positions reversed.”

“Once you learn the cold ways of the court, you will see why I wish to keep her distant from it.” He squeezed her hand. “Part of me wants to keep you distant from it. You are so young and naïve in the way of things here.”

“That’s twice now you’ve called me naïve. I don’t like it,” she said with a frown. “I know more about the world than you think I do.”

“We shall see what you know,” he said with a thoughtful smile. “And though I find you naive…” She gave him a dirty look and he hurried on. “…I find you to have an inner strength that is compelling. You are very brave, to beard the lion in his den,” he said, waving a hand to encompass the castle before them. “And you are honest to a fault. Both qualities I find I like in a woman.”

“My king!” a loud female voice announced from ahead of them. Suddenly Gersa appeared on the path. She was on the arm of a young man Sarea did not know. They both bowed gracefully. Gersa eyed Sarea a long moment. “It seems we had the same idea. The gardens are lovely today, are they not?” Gersa said, her manner all elegance and charm.

“I find them exceptionally beautiful today,” the king said, looking at her as he did so. Sarea flushed. It was one thing to accept his compliments in private, but in front of others…?

Gersa’s smile faded a little then she brightened again. “I hear we are to have a masque! How exciting. Please let me be the first to claim the first dance with you, my king,” Gersa said.