Trust Me: The Lassiter Group, Book 1 (16 page)

For now she didn’t move an inch, listening to Lucas’s heart pound strong and sure in his chest. He ran his hand up her back, and even through her T-shirt the lulling sensation made her eyes grow heavy.

“Why did you become a cop, Max?”

Frowning, she opened her eyes. “Aren’t men supposed to be the quiet ones after sex?”

“Maybe I’m just trying to kill some time before I roll you beneath me and get back to the sex part.” His voice, low and sexy and combined with the image he’d just put in her head, made her body stir.

She lifted her head. “I thought you already did your homework?”

“Humor me.”

Ducking her head, she traced random circles across his chest. “Being a cop runs in the blood I guess. I don’t really remember wanting to be anything else.”

“Not even a pop star or ballerina?”

She snorted. “I grew up with three older brothers. Hard to dance in a tutu to the likes of AC/DC.”

He laughed. “They turned you into a complete tomboy, huh?”

“I think it was easier for them that way. Except CJ. He would go through these stages when he would try and make me play with girl toys.” She tapped her finger on his chest, focusing on the memories and not the long ago pain that surfaced with them.

“He used to buy me these play makeup sets even though the only way I’d touch them was if I could use them on him too.”

“And he let you?”

“Right up until the two oldest walked in and saw thirteen-year-old CJ sporting the latest in Scandalous Scarlet lipstick.” She laughed, thinking of the horrified look on CJ’s face.

“I suppose that was the end of the makeovers?”

“Nope. Though he stuck with just hair and nails after that.”

Lucas held up her hand, running his thumb across her fingernails. “And did he give you a tutorial for these?”

Her smile dimmed. “CJ died when he was nineteen.” She swallowed past the sudden tightness in her throat. “You probably already knew that, but he is definitely the reason I still do my nails whenever I want to feel girly.”

“Is he the reason you started hating Blackwater? Because CJ died of a drug overdose?”

“I also hated CJ’s idiot friends who supplied the drugs that night.”

He played with a strand of her hair, running it back and forth across his thumb. “How old were you?”

“Sixteen.”

“And probably wishing you were already a cop so you could do something about it.”

Surprised by how perceptive he was, she only nodded.

“So what did you do about it?”

“What makes you think I did anything?” She was pretty sure that kind of information wouldn’t have been in any file he had on her since she hadn’t gotten caught. When he merely waited, she shrugged. “Just slashed some tires on the car belonging to the guy who bought the drugs.”

“Good for you.”

For some reason his approval felt good. “I never told anyone about that until now.”

He looked a little taken aback by that, but quickly smiled, though, the gesture a little forced. “Your secret is safe with me.” He glanced at the woodstove. “I should throw some more wood in and then we should try to sleep for another couple of hours.”

Giving him some space, she moved to the opposite end of the couch. Deciding it was best to change the subject, Max asked, “So how did you get into your line of work?”

“According to Eli and Caleb it was all a matter of the right time and place.”

Awareness sliced across her mind, and she sat up straighter. “Have you all worked together long?”

“A few years.” He shoved a piece of wood into the fire and shut the stove.

Careful not to draw too much attention to herself, she stood. “Caleb must miss his sister a lot.”

“Yeah—” Lucas went perfectly still, as if realizing his mistake.

He carefully stood, and she was more than ready for him.

Chapter Nine

Lucas dodged to the right as something whistled past his head.

A piece of wood hit the wall next to him.

“Max—”

A kick to the back of the knee threw him off balance, but he kept himself upright—barely—and spun to meet the punch she threw. He caught her wrist, twisting to snap her arm behind her back. “Hold on,” he began.

She drove her heel down, and he cursed, but somehow managed to keep ahold of her.

“You lying son of a bitch.” She jammed her elbow back, catching him in his sore ribs.

White streaked across his vision, and he released her, pressing his arm to his side as though it would ease the pain. “Just listen for a second.”

“So you can lie to me again?” She laughed, the sound harsh and unforgiving.

Her next punch found its mark. His head snapped to the right and he tasted blood on his tongue.

Instinct warred with the need to hold the woman who had only moments ago been curled around him, giving him the kind of peace and contentment he hadn’t felt in months, maybe even years.

Reflex had him avoiding another blow, but he didn’t retaliate, just stayed out of her reach.

“Who are you?”

“I’m not her brother but I am… I was her partner.”

She shook her head. “You’re lying. Her partner’s name wasn’t Lucas.”

“My last name is McAllister. Cara always called me Mac.”

She started to shake her head, but he cut her off.

“It was Caleb’s fault, actually. When she came to work for the Lassiter Group he decided to mess with her and tell her my name was Mac. He knew it drove me crazy. Cara already knew who I was, but played along and it just stuck.”

“Then why not tell me who you were from the start?”

“You did have a knife to my throat at the time.”

“So you made up some crap about being her brother?”

“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” he admitted.

Max glared at him. “Do not take another step.”

He stopped, hands held up. “The truth is I wasn’t sure you wouldn’t kill me either way.”

“Like I killed Cara?”

“Yes. No,” he corrected.
Shit.
“I know you didn’t kill Cara, but I couldn’t take the chance I was wrong, not then.” He mentally judged the distance to the door in case she decided to run for it.

She took a step in his direction instead. “No.” Her brows drew together. “Her partner was ex-Special Forces.”

He nodded, wondering just how much Cara had told her. “That’s right.”

“So you’re telling me that with all the training you’ve had, the threat of a little piece of metal—”

“It was not little.”

“—made you lie when you probably could have disarmed me before I did much damage?”

“I was having an off day.”

“Or…” She made a sound of disbelief that he didn’t like one little bit. Her eyes narrowed. “It was never about me helping you nail Blackwater, was it? You came to bring Cara’s murderer in, didn’t you?”

He lunged forward to grab her a heartbeat before she tried to bolt. He’d like to think she wasn’t crazy or desperate enough to run into the night in only a T-shirt, but he believed in covering his bases.

He pressed her up against the wall. Not hard enough to hurt her, but to at least prevent her from hurting him. “Yes, I lied. And yes, I had every intention of bringing you in.”

Sensing where he was headed, she snorted. “But now you’ve conveniently changed your mind, right? Aren’t I lucky?”

He decided to ignore the rhetorical question. “When I went to Riverbend it was on nothing more than a hunch. I wasn’t even supposed to be there. My boss thought I was on vacation.”

“Wow,” she mocked. “So I’m not the only one you’ve lied to? And here I thought I was special.”

“I didn’t tell him the truth because a few weeks ago he ordered us to let it go.” Ordered
him
to let it go.

“Fuck orders.” She tried turning around, but he didn’t give her enough room to pull it off, not when he could still feel the fury rolling off her. “No. There’s no way. Her team wouldn’t just cut her loose like that, wouldn’t let someone get away with what they did to her.”

“So you’re the only one allowed to run, to pretend it’s out of your hands?”

“I didn’t have a lot of choice.” Her voice dropped, and for the first time she sounded like she was second-guessing herself.

“I’m giving you one, Max.” He loosened his hold.

She turned around, her gaze cutting into him. “And how do I know that this time you’re telling me the truth?”

“You don’t.” He knew there wasn’t anything else to say. If he’d been through what she had, he wouldn’t want to put his faith in anyone but himself either.

“Where were you?”

He frowned, confused by the question. “When?”

“The night Cara died. You say you’re her partner, so where were you that night? Where were you when they grabbed her, when they roughed her up, trying to figure out who she worked for?” She shoved him back, and he let her. “Where the hell were you when they chained her up and took a knife to her?”

Every word drilled into his chest. They were questions he’d hammered himself with over and over again, but coming from Max reminded him of how it felt the night he’d realized what happened to Cara.

Eyes bright with unshed tears, Max gave him another shove, but he held his ground this time. “Partners back each other up, Lucas. Or Mac or whatever the hell your name is. Why weren’t you there backing her up? Why…” She dragged in a sharp breath and tried to get past him, but he pulled her close, keeping her between him and the wall.

Struggling not to cry, she pushed at his chest. “You should have been there. Someone should have been there. Someone—”

“I fucked up, Max.” Emotion swelled in his throat. “She shouldn’t have been on her own. I should have been with her. I wanted to be there and if I could have found a way to take her place I would have.” He clenched his jaw until it ached, but the pain didn’t come close to the guilt and hurt that had been swallowing him piece by piece for months.

One tear ran down her cheek and he watched it slide down to her chin.

“Those nightmares you have are my fault,” he finally managed. “Cara said that you could help, that your suspension was a load of crap, that you were a good cop. I told her we should wait a little longer. I didn’t think we needed you and she disagreed. Said it wasn’t my call to make.”

“She always had a mind of her own,” Max murmured, her palms softening against his chest.

“We were at Blackwater’s party that night, posing as potential buyers, hoping to identify some players for a big deal that was going down. The evening was pretty much a bust so we split up and were out of communication for a bit. Next thing I hear, she found something you needed to see. She planned to meet with you and bring you back to our hotel for a full briefing.”

They both knew what came after that.

The last of the fight went out of Max and she leaned into him, her head tucked under his chin.

“I should have stayed with her, should have insisted she wait for me, but we trusted each other’s gut, you know?” He closed his eyes, “I should have been there. If I had maybe—” He tightened his arms around her, holding on even though he was certain he was the last person she wanted to be near.

“Maybe you’d be dead too,” she whispered, tipping her face back to look at him.

Shiny blue eyes met his. He could tell she wasn’t ready to trust him, but the earlier accusation was gone, replaced by an understanding of the shared grief both of them were still working through.

“It wasn’t our fault,” she said a few minutes later.

“Which one of us are you trying to convince?”

She gave him a sad smile. “Both, I think.”

“You need to come with me, Max.” He wiped away the evidence of her tears. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

He wished he hadn’t said a damn word the second she pulled away from him.

“I need some time to think.” She headed back toward the bedroom, and he stayed where he was, wanting to give her some space and needing some of his own.

When he felt her hesitating in the doorway, he glanced in her direction.

“You want me to trust you, Lucas, but you’re not exactly reciprocating. You’re worried I’ll run and you plan to stay on the couch for what’s left of the night so there’s less chance I’ll slip by you.”

No chance, he thought, but wisely kept that to himself. “Night, Max.”

Max was awake long before she heard Lucas get up and walk around the main room. He cursed under his breath, and she assumed he’d noticed her clothes were gone from the chair by the woodstove.

She gave him another few seconds and met him in the doorway, knowing he’d come to make sure she was still there.

“You snore, you know.”

Relief crossed his features first, then annoyance. “No, I don’t.”

She shrugged and walked past him, determined to regain all the ground she’d slowly been losing in the last three months. From the pantry, she grabbed one of the prepackaged puddings, then found a spoon to go along with it.

Every move she made, she felt Lucas watching her intently. She wasn’t any more certain of her next move than before having sex with Lucas had blindsided her, but she knew she couldn’t do it alone.

Glen would be there for her in a heartbeat and so would her family, but they’d already suffered enough. Just by knowing her, defending her, their own hard-earned reputations were dragged through the mud, and knowing that hurt more than anything anyone said about her.

Whether she liked it or not, she needed Lucas. At least to help her get to New York. She believed that he was Cara’s partner and that he did want justice, but she also knew there was more to it than that.

“Why did your boss order you to stop digging into Cara’s murder?”

“Until the night she died, Blackwater wasn’t as important as the primary objective.”

She took a bite of the pudding. “Which was?”

Lucas scrubbed a hand over his face. “We were looking for a biological weapon stolen from a Czech scientist a few months ago. Blackwater was brokering the deal, but no one knew when or where.”

“So that’s why you and Cara got yourself invited to Blackwater’s party. You were hoping to get added to the shortlist.”

“It was a long shot from the start, but Eli, another one of our team, called in a few favors from some shady people that lent a lot of credibility to our cover.”