Trust in Me (17 page)

“I-I’m sorry, okay? Just, promise me you’ll tell her. Seventy-five grand. All I need is a number. An address.
Anything.
”

“Out!”

Susie waited, her back pressed to the wall of the closet, listening for the peal of the bell over the door before she took her next breath. When it came, relief didn’t come with it. She slid down, her butt hitting the ground while her hands flew to cover her face. She couldn’t even cry. She simply shook, frozen in place while icy terror wrapped its claws around her throat.

“Susie?” Amanda’s voice was soft as a whisper. Gentle hands touched her, but darted away when Susie twitched at the contact. “Susie, are you okay?”

Okay?
Okay?
How could she possibly be okay? This man worked for Malcolm. Like her, he was terrified of failing. The price was too high. Too dangerous.

Resisting the urge to scream, Susie dropped her hands from her face. Through swimming vision, she could see Amanda’s concern. Her pale blonde hair hung over her shoulder, obscuring her blue cable-knit sweater. Light blue, like her eyes. Like Locke’s eyes…

“What did you do?” The question came out by itself, a thought Susie hadn’t fully realized. But now that it was out… “What did you do?”

Amanda’s pretty mouth flattened into a line.

“Why did he come here, Amanda? And don’t you dare lie to me.”

Damn it, Amanda’s chin rose. A sure sign of zero remorse and usually a big ugly fight no one wanted to have. “Locke asked me for the papers that firm sent, the one with the information on your loan. I gave it to him.”

Susie shook her head, betrayal and anger stabbing at her from all sides. “How could you do that? How could you go behind my back that way?” Especially when Amanda was so virulent about not letting her brother trample all over her life with his good intentions.

“He didn’t want you worrying about these people and neither did I.”

“Because of the baby.” The accusation felt like acid on her lips, but Amanda didn’t flinch.

“Yes.”

Amanda still didn’t get it. Susie could have wept, but her eyes were too dry to shed a tear. Now she absolutely had to go. Oh God, she had to leave
now
…

“Why?” She must have said that last thought out loud, because Amanda’s face had lost all color. “Stop locking me out, Susie. I can help.”

“You helped enough.” Watching Amanda recoil from the bitter words didn’t make Susie feel any better. No, it was ten times worse, because she couldn’t take the anger back. It was true.

“You can’t just…leave. What about Locke? What about me? This business? You’re not making any sense. Especially when he’s not even looking for you. He’s after some woman named Kayla. This whole thing is a misunderstanding from the beginning. Just tell them it was us in the brochure and it’s over.”

Bitter laughter bubbled up Susie’s throat. So innocent. So sheltered. Amanda couldn’t even comprehend that someone she knew and trusted could have lied to her. Could have kept a secret from her of that magnitude…

Then again, she’d kept a secret of her own, hadn’t she? Hers and Locke’s. A fresh surge of anger rushed through her. Damn Jackmans and their meddling. Always fucking meddling…

Susie struggled to find her feet, shrugging off Amanda’s help when the other woman touched her hands. “Don’t! Don’t touch me.”

Amanda’s face showed hurt, but Susie couldn’t let it slow her down. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

Up, though her knees felt like castanets and her stomach was in so tight a knot she thought she might throw up any second, Susie made herself walk out of the store, into the hazy winter sunshine, across Main Street to Locke’s store. His bell wasn’t much different than hers, but it jangled violently when she threw open the door. A few faces turned her way, but not the one she was looking for. She scanned the room briefly, zeroing in on one of the elder twins, though she wasn’t sure which one it was.

“Where is he?”

The last time she’d had to ask the elder twins that question, they’d given her so much attitude she’d had to twist their ears and bring both of the hulking morons to their knees. Luckily, this one remembered how unwise it was to get in her way when it came to Locke.

“Back room, doing inventory.” Chestnut-colored brows drew together over dark-fringed eyes the same color as the rest of the family’s. “You okay, Susie?”

Concern, from someone she knew didn’t like her much, threatened to crack her anger. It was all she could do to shake her head and go in the direction he’d pointed.

No one else said anything as she made her way back there. And no one stopped her when she closed the door to the back room. Step by step, she passed the aisles of boxes. There wasn’t a ton of space here, but it was neat and cool, and the merchandise tall enough to hide her Viking. She found him in the last row, crouched down to inspect a large box that seemed to be giving under the weight of the one above it.

He noticed her right away, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as he turned to look at her. It faded quickly. “What’s wrong?”

“How could you do it?”

He frowned. “Do what?”

Of course. Anyone else would have known right away what wrong, overstepping thing they’d done, but not Locke. He overstepped all the time, never understanding that people had boundaries for a reason.

“You paid my loan off.” Not an accusation. A flat statement of the truth.

His eyes narrowed but he didn’t bother trying to explain. He simply nodded. A slow dip of his chin. No apology. No remorse.

Was it the anger making her shake so hard she could see her hair shuddering in front of her face? Or was it still the fear? “You had no right—”

“I was protecting you.”

“No
fucking right
!” Anger, definitely the anger. She didn’t care that she screamed. “You ruined everything, Locke. You don’t even know it. You don’t know.” All her choices were gone now. She had to leave. She’d have to rip her own heart out of her chest and likely his as well, all because he couldn’t figure out how to talk first and do later.

He rose slowly, hands up, probably so as not to spook her. “What are you talking about, baby?”

The endearment stung. “You brought
him
to my door.”

Even in the dimmer light, she saw color drain from his face. “Hall is
here
?”

She shook her head. “His lawyer. Looking for
me
.”

“Susie—”

“You paid off the loan and now the man has no leverage. He’s desperate, so he
came
here. Because he knows what Malcolm does to people who don’t give him what he wants.”

“That doesn’t mean—”

“Yes, it
does
!” She ran at him, pushing at his chest. It didn’t do her any good, of course, but he let her hit at him. Let her hammer her frustration out, doing nothing more than wrapping his arms around her to hold her. Somehow, that made her even angrier. “He’ll come. When that pathetic little lackey goes back to Chicago, Malcolm will come. Because it’s the closest he’s been to me in four goddamned years.
You
did that, Locke. With your supposition and your presumption,
you
did that.”

She pushed herself out of his hold, hating how much it hurt to go.

Hurting that he let her.

“You’re so used to making all the decisions, you don’t even question anymore if it’s the
right
one.” The lawyer wouldn’t see the payoff as the admission it was. He probably thought he’d pushed too hard, scared his quarry into hiding. But Malcolm would see it. Malcolm would know only someone with something to hide would clamp down with such quickness. Something to protect…

“He’s not all-seeing, Susie.” Locke sounded tired. As if he were fighting a battle he already knew he’d lost. “He’s not all-powerful.”

“Neither are you.” She backed up a step. Saw on his face when he realized she was leaving.

“Don’t do this. Don’t you go.”

She shook her head, the tears she’d expected earlier finally spilling in a torrent. She tried to hold in the sob, but it was like holding back a river. Another step, and this time he followed.

“No.” She mopped at her face with her sleeve, though it didn’t do any good. The pain overflowed anyway. “You stay away from me.”

If he touched her again, he might be able to change her mind. She couldn’t allow that.

“You have a home here. We have a life here. A future. Don’t go.”

“Don’t you think I know that? That I wanted it?” She squeezed her eyes shut, wrapped her arms around herself just as hard, but another flood spilled over her cheeks. Unbidden, she thought of the crib, the promise of it disappearing in an instant. Just like always, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t hold everything together.

“Then fight for it!” His voice was a whip, even if he didn’t mean it to be.

“I
can’t
!” Her shout rang through the room, forcing him into silence. He didn’t understand what it was like to be reduced to nothing. To have nothing left to live for and be forced to keep going. “All I know how to do anymore is survive. That’s
all
I have, Locke. There’s nothing else left of me.”

“If that’s what you think…why are you bothering? What the hell are you trying to stay alive for?”

The shaking intensified, but she couldn’t leave with him thinking she wouldn’t cherish what he’d given her. That she wasn’t well aware what she was stealing from him…or why. Her hand covered her abdomen protectively, a move he tracked with a stoic gaze. “Her.”

His eyes closed and for a long second, there was just silence between them. As if everything had dammed up, leaving a void neither could cross.

She took another step back.

“Susie.” So much need in just one word.

“I trusted you.” She’d let him in, until he was all that held her heart together. But that trust was broken now, and he knew it as well as she did. She turned, needing to get out of there.

“What about the baby?” His voice boomed, stopping her in her tracks. “What about medical care?”

She looked down at her belly, her hand still there over the gently sloping curve. There was a long way to go. No promises she could make, though the idea of facing the rest of her pregnancy without him sent a shard of terror through her. But… “I don’t know.”

“If you don’t know, don’t leave. Stay with me, until you know what you’re going to do next. For the baby, Susie.”

She was already shaking her head before he finished his offer. “Don’t use her like that.”

“I’m not using her—”

She glared at him over her shoulder. “Aren’t you? Don’t you think you’d say
anything
to keep me here? Use any way you could, even if you had to lie? Because I would, if I were you.” It shamed her, what she knew she might do if he were the one leaving her behind.

But he wasn’t. And there was more to think about than just her.

Can’t risk the baby.

She didn’t know if Locke understood that or not. She only knew that he let her walk away without another word. Just the sound of his roar and the crash of something against the walls as she worked her way back out of the store.

No one stopped her.

No one even seemed to take a breath.

She barely heard the bell overhead as she slipped back into the street and walked away.

The wall of the back room had a hole in it.

Locke stared at it, uncomprehending. Chest still heaving, hands straining and a stool in his grip, bent and broken as if it were made of crazy straws. And yet, he still couldn’t get anything through his mind but one solitary thought.

I ruined us.

He’d known what could happen if she was spooked. Knew she’d run at the slightest provocation. Even knew that he was wrong to think it, because she’d never promised, but the phrase replayed again and again. But if he didn’t think it, he’d have to admit that she never meant to stay. Wonder if she
wanted
to stay. He couldn’t bring himself to do that. Not when she’d spent every night holding him as if she couldn’t make it through without him. The same way he held her.

And now she could hardly look at him.

He stumbled back, heading for the chair by the schedule. There was nothing there and he dropped on his ass. Weirdest thing, though. He knew he landed like a ton of bricks, but he hardly felt a thing.

Somehow, he’d destroyed everything. He just hadn’t figured out how yet. He’d protected her. Removed the boot over her throat. The fear that choked her was endangering her and the baby. How was that the wrong choice? It was the only choice he could understand.

But she was still gone.

By
his
hand.

And all he could do was stare at the hole.

“Sometimes I forget…” someone muttered nearby.

Dazed, Locke turned his head to see his brothers leaning against the cabinet, frowning at him. Dean and Daniel, looking at him with either pity or dismay on their identical faces. Maybe both. “Forget what?”

“How much you missed by coming home to take care of everyone.” Dean. Daniel tried, but he just didn’t pull off thoughtful real well.

“What are you talking about?” He’d given up some things, but he’d gained so many others. It had balanced out, in the end.

“He means, you’ve never had a serious relationship with anyone who wasn’t related to you and had no choice but to forgive you.”

Locke rubbed his face with a dusty palm. He must be in pretty shitty shape if he needed Daniel to dumb things down for him. Advice from the elder twins—neither of whom had had a serious relationship with a woman either—just outlined how low he’d sunk.

“Thank you, Doctors Freud.”

“We don’t have to be doctors to know that woman just stomped your balls and kicked in your teeth.” Daniel crossed his meaty arms, this close to a pout. “It was kind of obvious when you smashed your chair through the drywall.”

“It was kind of fun to see Randall Johnson drop his tackle box and run for his life, though,” Dean offered.

“But you just know word’s gonna get around to Uncle Ruckus and his boys. They’re never going to let you live it down that you finally lost it because your woman got tired of your ass after a couple weeks.” Daniel
oomph
ed at the solid blow to his gut. “What the hell was that for, dumbass?”