Truly Mine (28 page)

“Tru? I think I want to live here.”

My head snaps toward her. “What?”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Lissa is all about the big city. She’s never mentioned to me that she would ever move away.

“Yeah, I do. I’m over it all. My heart’s not in it anymore. I need a change. I mean, I’m not trying to impose on you or your sweet little slice of heaven here.”

“No! God, no, Lissa. I mean, yes!” I bounce on my tiptoes like a schoolgirl. “Tyler wants to stay in Fallport, and I do, too. And I would be so fucking happy if you were here. Oh my God! Is this really happening?”

I notice Tyler standing at the sliding glass doors, watching Lissa and me walk to the house. He’s so handsome in his jeans, wearing no shirt, and his smile tells me that I make him happy.

“What do you think Marie will say?” I ask.

“I’m pretty sure she will be more than okay with it. I know Thomas will be,” Lissa adds.

She’s right about Thomas. It will be the happiest day of his life. And he will take good care of Marie. He always has.

“Let’s FaceTime her tonight and get it off our minds,” I suggest.

“Okay.”

In the evening, I back out of the plan to FaceTime Marie and tell her everything.

Instead, I decide to take a slow-drip approach. I simply tell her that, to my surprise, I really love being in Fallport, but I will be home Monday to get back to business. I tell her that Tyler and I are going to move forward with our relationship and that I’m not sure how that is going to work logistically, but we are determined to make it work. Oddly, she doesn’t give me advice that I didn’t ask for or lecture me at all. She is surely having an off day. Once I’m in New York, I’ll drop a little more and see her reaction, face-to-face.

The way I look at this is that the three of us came into this business together, and I’m committed to making sure that the three of us go out together. No man left behind. If any one of us is not finished, we will all stay, but I don’t see that as the case right now. Lissa is the only one of us that would have been questionable—before today, that is. She’s surprised the hell out of me during the time she’s been spending in Fallport. I like this side of her very much.

The next few days, I finish clearing out my mother’s house while Tyler is at work and Lissa is off with Rion, exploring Fallport and the neighboring towns.

I continue the slow-drip approach with Marie by calling her from my mother’s to tell her what a beautiful home she has—one that I would have loved to be raised in.

I learned more about my mother in those days than I had in the entire eighteen years that she raised me. It seemed as though she thought of me a lot. It might have done me good to know that before now. Maybe.

I find a photo album that she kept on her night table next to her bed. It’s filled with photos of me, and it’s worn-out from being handled a lot. I also come across a box in her closet with birthday cards to me. One for every year from age nineteen to forty.
Why did she never send these to me?

I suppose she felt the same way Tyler has for so many years. I finally realize just how unavailable I’ve made myself to the people who want to love me unconditionally.

I nearly open the card for the birthday I had just a few months ago, but I decide that, one day, I’ll start from the beginning and go through every one of them.

In her office, I find more photos. Some are photos of us together.

I also find letters from her husband to her and some from her to him. I read them but feel as if I’m invading her privacy even though they are both gone. What’s in the letters literally sucks the breath right out of me. I sit in her office chair for an hour, reading letters that I could have written myself. They have been my words to Tyler for years.

I can’t. I don’t know how. I’m not equipped. Love isn’t something I know how to do. I don’t deserve you.

She tells her husband all these things, just the way I’ve told Tyler.

How can we be so much alike?
I sit in the chair and sob. I cry because, for the first time in my life, I miss her. I also cry because I have lost so many years with Tyler. As much as I am seeing a different side of my mother, I can never forgive her for what she did all those years ago—for bringing all those men around me and into our house. I can’t forgive her for wrecking families.

I’m emotionally exhausted when my phone rings, so I answer without looking at the display, assuming that it’s either Tyler or Lissa.

I am very wrong.

“Hey, bitch. I’ve been waiting for you. Come out and play.” It’s the same altered-sounding voice from a week ago.

My heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, and goose bumps rise on every inch of my skin. I pull the phone away from my face to look at the display.

Unknown Caller.

Fuck.

I look around the house and wonder if he’s followed me here.

“Who is this?”

“I’ve been looking all over the city for you. You have to come out of that apartment one day, and I’ll be waiting for you.” He laughs a purely evil laugh and hangs up.

My heart is racing, and I only want Tyler.

I get in my car and race to Tyler’s office. I park my car in front of the law office and sit. I don’t quite feel comfortable walking into Tyler’s place of work. I do still have to write a check to the city on behalf of my mother’s estate. I decide to use that as my reason for the visit.

I walk to the reception desk and ask specifically for Dara although I want to see Tyler. I hope to bump into him while I’m here at least.

After a few minutes, Dara appears. Again, she greets me with the all-too-fake smile and tone of voice, “Truly, how nice to see you.”

I sit behind her desk and take my checkbook out of my purse. “I have one last thing to do before my mother’s estate is settled.” I look up at Dara as I begin writing the check to the City of Fallport. “Who would have thought, huh?”

She smiles and pauses for a moment. “I don’t know, Truly. When you took off to New York, I thought that showed that you had more guts than anyone knew.”

“Hmm…guts or ignorance. I alternated between the two for years.”

“You’re not alone. We all did,” she says.

“I learned a lot while living in New York. I’ll miss some things about living in a big city.”

“Miss? Are you moving?” Dara asks.

“Yes, I’m coming back to Fallport,” I say as I look down to fill out the check.

“Really. Do I even have to ask why?” she says sarcastically.

“I’m sure you can guess, Dara.” I look up at her. “I love your brother.”

“Excuse me?” She sits tall and narrows her eyes at me.

I don’t waver. “Tyler. I love him. I don’t know why I feel the need to tell you that.”

“And this is supposed to be news to me?” The cocky Dara is back. “You two have been hung up on each other for years, Truly. Everyone knows it. I wasn’t the least bit impressed with the fact that you two had no boundaries, and people got hurt because of it. Just remember one thing. I’m the girl who can turn a girlfriend into an ex-girlfriend in the blink of an eye. So, don’t fuck with me.”

“Really, Dara? Are you kidding me right now? We are professional women. This is not how grown women speak to each other.”

“Nothing has changed where you and my brother are concerned. You were not then, nor are you now, good enough for him. I will be goddamned if you come back into his life, pulling the same bullshit you did twenty years ago. You are the only reason Dani and him are not together today. She got sick of his cheating bullshit. And you and I both know it was you every damn time.”

Dani?
She has got to be kidding.

Dani was Dara’s best friend and Tyler’s on-again-and-off-again girlfriend through high school. Whether Tyler was with her or not, we continued to find time for each other. I’m not proud of that, but it’s the truth. Even back then, nobody could satisfy either of us like we did with each other.

That happened over twenty years ago, and she’s going to bring this up now?

This is going nowhere fast. Her attitude is going down the drain. I leave the signature line empty on the one-million-dollar check and offer it across the desk.

After seeing the amount, she glances back at me. “Well, that’s one way to shut my big mouth up. Thank you, Truly.”

“I’ve been gone for far too long to have an idea of what the town needs. I trust the City Council to make the best decisions for the residents of Fallport. Thank you for asking though. But, if you look, you’ll notice I did not sign that check.”

She looks to see if I’m telling her the truth. When she sees that indeed I did not sign it, she looks up at me and takes in a deep breath.

“When you’re ready to speak to me properly and act like a grown woman, we can meet again, and I’ll sign the check.” I stand and let myself out.

By the time I leave the office, I’ve all but forgotten about the phone call from the unknown caller. I don’t see any signs of Tyler, and I have no intention of asking Dara if he’s here.

Instead, I type out a text to Ali, asking her if she can meet for coffee. The last time I heard anything from her was Sunday afternoon. She simply said that she and Cory were talking, and everything was going to be fine. I’m curious to hear more. When I get the reply from her that she is available, I head straight for the coffee shop.

Ali is sitting at a table on the patio, sipping on an iced coffee, when I arrive.

“Hi!” She stands, and we hug.

“Hi! Let me grab a coffee, and I’ll be right back.”

With a latte in hand, I take a seat across from Ali and remove my sunglasses. “So, how’s it going?” I ask.

“It’s good. You?”

“Same here. Good. Well, great actually. I’m moving back to Fallport, Ali.”

“Really? Truly, that’s so great!” She smiles and seems to be genuinely happy.

“Yeah, I’m excited. I want to hear how things are going with you and Cory. Talk, woman!”

She looks down at her coffee as she begins to explain, “We’re working on it. We got everything out in the open and decided we don’t want to give up on our marriage.” Meeting my gaze, she continues, “So, we’re working on the things that led us to where we were. He’s been so sweet and so attentive, Tru. Don’t get me wrong. He’s still a jackass sometimes, but he just wouldn’t be Cory if he weren’t.”

We laugh because it’s true.

“I can so relate. Tyler wouldn’t be Tyler if he weren’t a pain in the ass sometimes. I love our difficult men.” I honestly do.

“Me, too. And I’m so glad we’ll be able to do this more often.” She waves her hand to the coffees sitting in front of us.

“Every Wednesday morning, you and me and coffee?” I suggest.

“You got it,” Ali agrees.

For the next hour, we talk about all the things we’ll do once I get settled in Fallport. I know our families are going to be close.

Talking to Ali about family has me thinking about my mother. I haven’t been able to get my mother off my mind since I left her house really. A part of me feels sorry for her. We really were alike in so many ways. I remember Tyler telling me that my mother did the best with what she had.

How could that be?

I can’t deny the similarities in what we do though. It’s the
why
that I have a hard time with.

Before I realize it, I’m driving to the cemetery where my mother is buried. I haven’t been here before, and honestly, I had no intentions of ever visiting this place. But with my new insight, I feel I need to take Marie’s advice and find peace with my mom.

After walking around a while, I find the plain gray square headstone with her name carved into it.

DEBORAH TRULY ADDISON

An uncomfortable burn hits me in the chest.

“Mom,” I say the word aloud. It feels terrible falling out of my mouth. “Um…I found the cards and photos today…at your house.”

I bite down on my lip and close my eyes. I’m not prepared for the emotions that overcome me. It hurts, and I hate it. I drop to the ground and sit cross-legged, burying my face in my hands. For the first time in my life, I wish things had been different.

“I’m sorry you died alone.” I really am.
Who am I to punish my own mother?
I want to justify why I hurt her and made sure she suffered the only way I could control. “I had no right to punish you when I’m no better than you were.” I cry.