True To You (Taking Chances #2) (16 page)

“Any diarrhea?”

“No, nothing out that end, thankfully.”

“What did you eat today?”

“Just scrambled eggs and cereal with milk this morning. Nothing else all day. I haven’t had an appetite.” Wincing in obvious pain, he moaned, “Any idea what it might be? The stomach flu? Food poisoning?”

“I need to rule out some other things before I can be sure.” She gestured to where his arm cradled his abdomen and asked, “Can I take a look? I’ll be gentle.”

He lifted the edge of his sweatshirt and grimaced as Melanie’s fingers applied pressure around his navel. “Oh, that hurts.”

“Did the pain start near your belly button, then travel down?”

“Yes, it’s here now,” he said, pointing to his lower right side near his hipbone.

“Aiya.”

“I know what
aiya
means. What is it?”

“Okay, do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

“The bad?”

“We need to go to the ER,” Melanie urged. “Right now.

His eyes opened wide. “Can’t I just take some Pepto?”

She took the box from him and placed it back on the shelf. “Not when you have appendicitis. The only remedy is to get your appendix removed before it bursts.”

“Are you talking about surgery?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so. But the good news is,” she added, “you’ll get to face one of your fears and get closer to crossing off one more thing on your bucket list.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re going to get your blood drawn. Think of it as practice for donating blood one day.”

If Ben could have turned paler than he already was, he did so in that moment. “What was the good news again?”

“It’ll be quick, just one vial, maybe two. The doctors need to check your white blood cell count to confirm that you have an infection. I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise… Ben?” Melanie’s voice rose in alarm as she watched him grab onto the shelf before him, his body buckled over in pain. “Ben!”

“I’m ready to be poked with sharp objects,” he moaned, “if it means no… more… pain.”

Spotting a store clerk at the end of the aisle, Melanie cried out for help, “Call 911! We need an ambulance! Please hurry!” She eased Ben’s shaking body to the ground and knelt beside him to cradle his head in her lap. “Hold on, Ben, you’re going to be okay,” she stated as much for her own sake as his. “You’re going to be okay.”

Feeling helpless, she prayed harder than she had ever prayed, holding onto a sliver of hope that her words would not disappoint. The only comfort she found, however, was in the wail of an approaching siren as it drowned out the sound of her pounding heart.

ELEVEN

“Hey, Dr. Koo. It looks like I survived.”

Melanie turned away from the window and rushed over to the hospital bed. “Ben, you’re awake. And yes, you survived.” She sat on the edge and lifted his hand to her lips, placing a soft kiss on his palm. “How are you feeling?”

“My stomach is sore, but other than that, I’m good.” He gave her hand a light squeeze. “Did Ash go home?”

“She left an hour ago to get ready for class, but she said she’ll be back in the afternoon.”

Ben nodded. “Thanks for staying with me. It was one long, crazy night. I couldn’t have made it without you.”

“You’re exaggerating. I only held your hand. You did all the work.”

“Including throwing up during the blood draw. That part I could have done without.”

“I’m sure it was caused by nausea, not nerves.”

“At least I got to change into my new favorite T-shirt. Thank you for the awesome Christmas gift. I’m glad you had it in your car.”

“I had no idea you already owned this shirt when I ordered it,” she stated as she pointed to the image of a redwood tree on her chest. “When you let me borrow your white one at Christmas dinner, I thought about giving you something else. At least this one is in green.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. This way, we can match.”

“I thought you might like that.” The smile on her lips failed to reach her eyes, which were welling up. She quickly blinked back the tears and cleared her throat.

Noticing her red-rimmed eyes, he asked, “Mel, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” she started to say, then thought better of it. She no longer wanted to hide her feelings from Ben. “Actually, I’m not. I’ve been thinking about how I almost lost you last night. You were so sick. A few more hours and your appendix would have ruptured and the infection would have spread and you could have had sepsis and multiple organ failure and-”

“Whoa, slow down.” The teary woman before him was so unlike the Melanie he knew. It surprised Ben to see her wearing her heart on her sleeve. The only thing he wanted was to comfort her. He found the bed’s remote control and pressed the button to bring himself to a sitting position. Drawing her close, he reassured her, “The only thing lost was an appendix, which I’m happy to be without. I’m okay, Mel. Thanks to you, I got to the hospital just in time. I’m fine.”

She buried her face in his chest and allowed her tears to fall freely, dampening the front of his hospital gown. The stress from the previous day fell away as she allowed herself to collapse in his arms. As the minutes passed, the tender kisses he placed on her head filled her with peace. She let out a shaky breath and lifted her eyes to meet his. “I don’t deserve this.”

“Deserve what?”

“You. I took you for granted. I was so unsure of us. I didn’t tell my parents about you or stand up for you at Christmas dinner. You were right. I wasn’t true to you. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, Mel. I realize now that dating me puts you between a rock and a hard place. There’s no easy way about it. From now on, let’s be honest with each other. We’re on the same team. We’ll figure it out together.”

Melanie nodded. “I want to be honest with you, too. I should have told you earlier… The reason I haven’t been answering your texts and calls for the past few days is because I was in Las Vegas.”

“What were you doing in Vegas? Wait, wasn’t that where Ming said he was performing?”

“Yes. I went to go talk to him. It was something I needed to do in person. You don’t need to worry. Nothing happened,” she reassured him, “besides me giving him a slice of my mind.”

“I think you mean a piece of your mind. Good for you. I’m glad you were able to speak up for yourself.” His dimples peeked out with his smile. “It’s okay. I get why you had to go. You went there to find closure. You needed to make peace with the past before you could move forward.”

She pondered his words in silence. He was right. After the trip, she had finally been ready to let go of the past. Unfortunately, those memories returned to haunt her again last night. “I did. And speaking of the past, there’s something you need to know. But I don’t know what you’ll think of me when I tell you.”

“You don’t need to be afraid. You can tell me anything.”

She took a deep breath before she began. “You know the last time I saw Ming?”

“You said it was five years ago.”

“Yes. I had just finished college and moved back home, and I was feeling anxious about going to med school. I started really missing Hong Kong and all of my old friends and the life I had before we immigrated. I thought I could go back for a visit and it would be like old times, but in reality everything had changed. My friends were so busy with their careers, they didn’t have time to see me. The one person I thought would be the same was Ming, but he had changed the most. He had starred in a few movies by then and was hanging out with actresses and models. I was so desperate to get him to notice me that I did something completely reckless.”

“What happened?”

“It was one night… and I got pregnant.”

“With Ming’s baby?”

“Yes.”

“I see.” Ben blinked quickly, his hazel eyes clouded with emotion.

“I was completely overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do. My parents were so proud of me for getting into Stanford; my mother had told everyone already. I knew I would bring so much shame to my family if they found out, so I didn’t tell anyone. And even though it went against everything I believed,” she confided, “I made an appointment for an abortion. The week leading up to it was the worst week of my life. I couldn’t eat or sleep, I broke out in hives, I had panic attacks.” Her shoulders heaved as she released the burden she had carried for so long. “I kept thinking about what my mother would say and even what people at church would think if they found out. I had never let my family down before, and I couldn’t imagine what they would think of me. But the more I thought about it, I realized there was one thing I couldn’t deny,” she choked out. “I already loved my baby. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone I had never met, but I did. I knew he or she was meant to be a blessing from God.”

He nodded. “What did you do?”

“I made the decision to do whatever I had to do to keep the baby. I canceled my appointment at the clinic and started looking for a job and a place to live in case my parents kicked me out. I started taking prenatal vitamins and learning about fetal development. I found out the baby was the size of a blueberry at seven weeks, then a kidney bean at eight weeks. I even started talking to him or her and thinking of names,” she shared with a bittersweet smile. “But two weeks later, I started bleeding. The doctor said I had miscarried.”

“Oh, Mel…”

“Don’t you understand what happened? God took my baby because I didn’t deserve to be a mother. What kind of mother doesn’t want her child? What kind of mother was I to not have known when my baby’s heart stopped beating inside of me? By the time I decided to keep the baby, it was too late.” Her voice faltered as she spoke the next words. “That’s what I thought was going to happen last night, that I would lose you, too. I had taken you for granted and didn’t deserve you either.”

He lifted her chin with one hand to look into her eyes. “Melanie, you can stop feeling guilty. God didn’t allow the miscarriage to punish you. I don’t know why it happened, but I know He loves you. He has the best in store for you. You need to remember that.”

“But it’s hard to not blame myself.”

“I understand. I’ve been there.”

Melanie felt his grip tighten around hers. “What do you mean?”

“The car my parents were driving when they skidded off the road,” he confided, “… that was my car. I was supposed to get the brakes changed before their trip, but I had gotten busy and put it off. There was a big storm that started the night they drove back. The police say the roads were slick from the fresh rain and new brakes wouldn’t have made a difference, but I still beat myself up with the what-ifs. What if I had changed the brakes? What if I hadn’t insisted on switching cars with them that weekend? I blamed myself for years.”

“Ben,” she sighed, “your parents’ accident wasn’t your fault.”

“I realize that now. You need to know the miscarriage wasn’t yours either,” he reassured her in a firm tone. “It’s time you stopped beating yourself up over it. Believe me, the past is the worst place to get stuck in; there’s nothing you can change about it. The only thing you can do is to accept it, and have faith that God has a bigger plan.”

“I think I’m finally starting to believe that.” She peered up at him, her eyes shining with tears and hope. “I’m amazed at how good God is to me. I never thought I’d find someone who would accept me and love me the way that you do. Thank you, Ben. I love you, I truly do.”

“I know. And I love you-truly, madly, deeply do,” he breathed as he closed the gap between them and touched his forehead to hers.

Melanie peered into his eyes and her breath hitched when she saw the tenderness revealed in them. Closing her own, she leaned forward in anticipation of a kiss when she suddenly felt him pull away. “Ben, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” she asked, her eyes wide with worry. “You should lie down.”

Ben flashed his dimples as his entire face lit up. “I was just thinking that I never got to give you
your
Christmas gift.”

“What? It’s okay, Ben, there’s no rush.”

“No, after what happened last night I don’t want to wait any longer. I don’t want to take any time we have together for granted.” Reaching over to the table next to the bed, he picked up a red gift bag and produced a small box. “I had this with me at Christmas dinner, but I didn’t get the chance to give it to you. I had Ashlynn bring it last night with my overnight bag.”

“Thank you.” Curious, Melanie took the box and lifted the lid to reveal a long gold chain. She pulled the necklace out and noticed two polymer clay charms dangling on the end. The charms, a sunny-side up egg and a peeled banana, were painted in shades of yellow and white. Grinning, she recalled their conversation from a few weeks ago. “So you’re the egg, and I’m the banana?”

“Exactly. They’re us in food form. Aren’t their faces cute?” he asked, pointing to the black painted eyes and upturned mouth on each charm. “I thought, what better way than this necklace to symbolize our relationship? We may be different, but look how happy we are together.”

“I love it. I think the kids at work will love it, too.” She lifted her dark locks to allow Ben to place the chain around her neck. “Thanks, Ben.”

His face grew serious as her words registered in his mind. “Is that why you decided to become a pediatrician? Because you lost your baby?”

“Yes. I decided to work with kids,” she paused with a wistful look on her face, “in case I never have any of my own. I always had a fear that God wouldn’t bless me with a child after what happened. It’s not based on any medical reasons, so I know I shouldn’t worry, but-”

“So let’s not worry about it.” He held both of her hands in his and smiled. “Even if we can’t have kids of our own, I’m open to adoption. There are many kids who have lost their parents and need a family. We’ll love them like our own.”

Melanie raised her eyebrows in amusement. “We? Our own? Do you realize what you’re saying?” she asked, although she knew full well that he did.

“When I said I was serious about us, I meant it. I want to spend the rest of my days with you, Mel. You make me believe in the whole American Dream. I want the future to be you and me, a house with a white picket fence, a dog and two point four kids,” he quipped.