True Loves (A Collection of Firsts) (17 page)

M
y mother’s
annoying ring tone sings through the air. I peel my eyes open and freeze when I discover a very naked Noel Falcon wrapped around me. His tattooed forearm rests across my bare stomach. I attempt to lift it off me, but Noel bats my fingers away and reattaches himself.

“Stop, Lane. I’m trying to sleep,” he grumbles with his eyes shut.

I ignore him and shove his hand off, not caring if I woke him or pissed him off. When I fling my legs over the side of the bed, two large hands wrap around me and slide me back into bed. Noel rolls on top of me, effectively pinning me to the bed.

The phone stops ringing, and I push on his chest, which he seems unfazed by. He traces my cheek with the pads of his fingers, and my toes curl. Blue eyes gaze straight into mine before flitting down to my lips. My heart hammers with the anticipation of him kissing me.

Noel tips his head, and our noses touch. “Since you seem to be up early, there’s somewhere I want to take you.” My shoulders slump. That isn’t what I thought he was going to ask. Noel notices my disappointment and chuckles. “Don’t get me wrong. I won’t object if you want to stay in bed with me all day.”

I frown. “Just because I didn’t throw your drunk ass out of here last night doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind about being with you.”

He shrugs. “Maybe…maybe not. I don’t think it’ll take much to wear you down and get you to see my side of this situation.”

I shake my head. “That’s where you’re wrong. I’ll never be the other woman.”

“You’re not. You’re
the
woman.”

I open my mouth to protest, but before I get the chance, Noel rolls away and hops off the bed. He grabs a towel from the cabinet and wraps it around his still-naked waist before heading to the bathroom. “Hurry up and get ready. I want to spend the day with you.”

I rake my hands through my hair and take a deep breath. He still doesn’t get that we’re over…again. I pick up my phone and send Mom a quick text that I’ll call her a little later.

A few minutes later, Noel returns wearing only a towel. He doesn’t hesitate to drop it and pulls a clean pair of jeans out of the drawer. Noel frowns. “You aren’t dressed.”

“That’s because I’m not going anywhere with you.”

He tugs on my hand, and I snatch it away. “Come on, Lane. Can’t we get through this?”

I sigh and rub my forehead. “Are you still drunk? No, no, we can’t get through this. You’re having a baby with someone else.”

“But—”

“No fucking buts. We’re done. From this point on, this”—I gesture between us—“is just a business relationship.”

He shakes his head and closes his eyes. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“Yes, it does. I’m basically a prisoner here. Between you and Diana, you’ve made it impossible for me to get out of this deal without ruining my financial future.”

“Lane—”

I hold up my hand. “Just stop talking. I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth.”

Noel pulls his lips into a tight line. The muscle in his jaw works under his skin. “Fine. Fuck it. If you say we’re done, then we’re done.”

I open my mouth to tell him not to be like that but quickly shut it. He’s right. We are done. How can we possibly work out anything? He belongs to someone else. When he sees I’m not going to argue, he yanks a shirt out of the closet and slams the door when he leaves.

I rub my forehead and sigh. This sucks so much. It’s not supposed to be like this. How can he pretend things aren’t completely fucked up? I mean, he wouldn’t have anything to do with me if I were pregnant by another guy and refused to leave him. Why does he expect any different from me?

* * *

O
ut of sheer boredom
, I attend the Black Falcon show. If I have to spend one more moment cooped up in that stupid bus, I’ll go nuts.

Embrace the Darkness rocks the crowd. Striker’s long hair flings around as he bangs his head to the beat. He flips his head up and points at the crowd as he belts the chorus. The entire place sings along, and he holds out his microphone to them. Even I know every word to this song. It’s number one on the charts right now. The song ends, and Striker pumps his fist in the air one last time. Screams fill my ears, and I smile as the band saunters offstage one by one.

“Great set, guys,” I tell the members of the group as they pass by.

Striker grins as he nears me. “Lanie, love, great to see you again.”

I smile as his eyes roam over my face. “You too.”

He peers over my shoulder, and I turn to follow his gaze. Noel strides through a circle of adoring fans but stops dead in his tracks when he spots me and Striker. He narrows his eyes, and for a second, it appears as though he might charge at us and read me the riot act for talking with Striker. Instead, he turns in the opposite direction.

“An odd fellow, that one,” Striker says. “He wants his hooks in you, that’s for sure.”

I face him. “Well, that isn’t going to happen.”

His eyes light up and a broad smile covers his face. “There’s an after-party for the bands. You ought to go.”

I swallow hard. This feels a little soon, but it will be a good distraction from everything going on. Striker tucks a lock on his dark hair behind his ear, and I can’t help but notice that he’s pretty damn attractive. I stare into his chocolate eyes and nod. “Yeah, absolutely.”

“Great! I’ll be watching for you.” He touches my shoulder lightly as he steps around me.

Out of nowhere, Noel appears beside me the instant Striker is gone. “What did he want?”

I shrug. “To talk.”

Trip and Tyke take the stage, and the crowd goes crazy. I watch the two men tease the crowd with waves and a couple quick notes. I do my best not to look at Noel. The weight of his stare on my face tries to force me to look at him.

Riff steps up next to the stage and yells, “Noel! Come on, man, let’s do this!”

“In a minute. Lane?” I shut my eyes and try to pretend he isn’t talking to me. He grabs my elbow and twists me toward him. “Look at me.” His bright-blue eyes waver with a sad look, and it hurts me to see him this way. I sigh and try to look away to tamp down the emotion welling inside me. Noel takes my chin between his fingers and forces me to see him. “Don’t promise Striker anything. You’re going to be mine again one day.”

My heart bangs against my ribs. The intensity of his eyes and voice sends shivers through me. He’s so sure we’re getting back together, and it’s a little overwhelming.

“Noel! Man, hurry up!” Riff shouts, impatience thick in his voice.

Noel opens his mouth to say something but takes another look at me and closes it. He kisses my forehead before he turns toward the stage. Throughout the show, Noel glances in my direction, almost as if he’s double-checking I’m still there. When Black Falcon performs their hit ballad, he sits on a stool and turns in my direction. He brings the mic to his lips and sings soft words about being in love.

I bite my lip under the scrutiny of his stare, and he smiles at me. He’s basically serenading me before a crowd full of strangers, and it’s intense. His feelings are apparent—even Riff notices—but Noel continues to sing to me. A couple of off notes from the lead guitar catches my attention, and I watch Riff step directly into Noel’s view of me.

Noel hops off the stool and tries to step around Riff, but it doesn’t work. Riff blocks every step he takes. Riff is obviously pissed off that Noel is doing this. Noel tries again, and Riff stops playing and shoves Noel. Sensing the impending fight, I decide it’s best if I get out of Noel’s sight before they have a very public brawl in the middle of their set.

I turn away and book down the steps leading off the stage. Noel calls my name over the microphone, but I don’t turn back. The sooner he learns to let this relationship go, the better things will be for everyone involved.

I
catch
a ride to the after-party with Trip and Tyke before Noel gets an opportunity to tell me how awful Striker is or something. A bodyguard I’d never seen rides along with us. Mike is usually the one who hangs out with Noel and I, so I was getting kind of used to him. Squeezed between the twins, I wonder how long the ride to the club is.

“What made you want to party with us?” Trip asks.

“Not that we’re complaining or anything,” Tyke throws in.

I shrug and smile at them. “Just needed to get out.”

Trip grins. “Yeah, right. You sure it doesn’t have anything to do with Striker?”

My mouth hangs open. “How did you—”

Trip laughs. “Know the lead singer of Embrace the Darkness has a thing for you?”

“Yeah.”

“Noel won’t shut up about it. He’s been bitching the entire time.”

I square my shoulders. “Why should he care? He has Sophie.”

Tyke shrugs. “That’s what I told him, but he nearly ripped off my head when I mentioned that.”

I take a deep breath and face forward. It’s really crazy he expects me not to move on. I don’t get where he gets off thinking he should be able to have his cake and eat it too. News flash, this cake store is fucking closed.

We pull up to the club hosting the after-party, and just like the last time I went to one of these, it’s packed. Fans rush the SUV, and I tense. I kick myself for wishing for a split second that Noel was with me. The bodyguard hops out and opens the door.

Tyke jumps out, practically right into the arms of a screaming group of female admirers. A little nudge from Trip, and I’m out and making my way inside. This place isn’t quite as wild as the last. No half-naked women are dancing in cages, but the dance floor overflows with bodies grinding to the beat. A couple men give me suggestive looks as they take in my short black skirt. I give them a polite smile but turn away when they start their approach.

Trip and Tyke sit at a table signing autographs for what looks like a never-ending line of fans. I glance around and relax when I don’t see any sign of Noel. Hopefully he isn’t coming. I step up to the bar and order a beer. The skinny blonde bartender doesn’t bat an eyelash in my direction after multiple attempts at gaining her attention.

“Excuse me, love, but you look like you could use a drink.”

I turn to find Striker with two beers in hand. He winks at me as he hands me one, and I smile. He’s looking good. His dark hair hangs loose around his face, and his blue shirt makes his eyes an impossibly deep brown. I lick my lips and take a long draw from the beer.

Striker leans into me and places his hand on the small of my back. “You here alone?”

I nod. “If you’re asking if I came with Noel, the answer’s no.”

He grins. “Brilliant! Care for a dance?”

I take another drink. This is what I came here to do—move on—and what better guy to do that with than this hunky specimen. I take Striker’s outstretched hand, and he curls his fingers around mine. He sets both of our bottles on the bar and tugs me toward the floor.

The minute we hit the floor, Striker pulls me in tight against his body. His hands roam down my back and then back up as he moves slowly against me. It’s deliberate and sexy, as if we’re alone in a bedroom instead of a packed dance club. A tremor shoots through me as he slides a knee between mine. Deep brown eyes lock on mine as he threads his fingers into my hair.

My lips part, and my heart hammers. This feels really fast, but I’m willing to try it if it gets rid of this hurt inside my chest. I pant as I close my eyes. A sudden jerk startles me, and my eyes snap open. Noel has Striker in a headlock, pulling him away from me. Striker shoots his elbows back into Noel’s ribs, but he refuses to let go.

“You can’t fucking take my girl!” Noel seethes. His eyes are boiling with rage.

My jaw drops. This is beyond ridiculous. Within seconds, Mike and a few other bouncer-type men descend upon the two tattooed rockers and yank them apart. While he’s still locked in Mike’s hold, Noel lunges for Striker.

“Calm the fuck down!” Mike shouts at Noel. Mike hauls him toward the door. Noel’s eyes refuse to leave me.

I roll my eyes. We need to seriously talk. He can’t keep interfering with my life. Striker straightens his shirt, and I notice all the curious stares from the other bar patrons. No doubt all of them are wondering what’s so special about me to cause this fight.

Striker runs his fingers through his hair. “Blimey. That bloke has issues.” Striker wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Where were we?”

I duck away and look at the door. I watch Mike shove Noel unwillingly through it. The urge to confront him surges through me. We need to end this here and now, for good. “I’m sorry, Striker. My ride is leaving without me. Maybe some other time?”

He frowns. “Your loss, love.”

The little jab is enough to relieve my guilt over leaving him on the dance floor. I rush through the club and out the door just in time to catch up with Mike shutting Noel inside the Escalade. “Wait up! I’m going back with you.”

Mike holds up his hands. “He’s drunk. I don’t think it’s a good time for you to—”

I shake my head. “Now is the only time.”

When I yank open the door, shock registers on Noel’s face. “Lane? I knew you’d—”

I slam it once I’m inside. “Shut it. I didn’t come here to make up. How could you do that to Striker? I’m trying to move on, damn it. This shit has to end.”

The moment Mike shuts his door, the SUV starts for the bus.

Noel shakes his head. “No, it doesn’t. I love you.”

I close my eyes and hold up my hand. “Stop. Stop saying stuff like that. It
does
have to end. How many times do I have to tell you I won’t be the other woman!”

He grabs my hand. “You’re not.”

I yank it away. “This ends tonight. Contract or not, I’m done.”

“Lane…”

I turn and stare out the window. “Please stop talking.”

The rest of the ride back to Big Bertha, Noel doesn’t say a word. The tension is thick, and everyone in the vehicle can feel it. The minute we park, I jump out and head for the bus. I’m over this. I’m over the tension and feeling trapped. If they sue me, what can they possibly get? I have nothing but a rented apartment. I don’t even have a car, for crying out loud.

When I get back to the bedroom, I throw my suitcase on the bed. I yank open a drawer and throw my clothes in the bag. Tears threaten to spill from eyes. I’m throwing away everything, but I can’t take being here one more minute. It just hurts too much.

“What are you doing?” Noel says behind me.

A tear spills out of my eye, and I wipe it away with the back of my hand. “What’s it look like I’m doing? I’m leaving.”

“What about the contract?”

I shrug. “What about it? You can sue me if you want, but you aren’t going to get much.”

Noel’s beside me, and he wraps his fingers around my wrist, successfully stopping me from packing. “I’m not going to sue you.”

I face him with tears streaming down my face. “Then why did you make me stay? I can’t take this.”

He pulls his lips into a tight line. “Using the contract against you was the only way I knew to make you stay. I don’t want you to leave. I need you to stay with me.”

“I can’t. I can’t let you hurt Sophie by being with me. If you commit to someone, you should stand by it.”

“But I don’t love her,” he whispers. “I just want to be a good father.”

I see the need to prove that he’s a better man than his dad in his eyes. Even if I love him, I’m not okay with him having a family with another girl and keeping me too. “You’ll be a great father. I know it. Irene will be thrilled to have a grandchild. You should really make up with your parents and figure out how to forgive Frank. All fathers make mistakes. Your first one was being with me.”

Noel takes my hand. “I love you so much. And you’re right. That wasn’t being the kind of father I want to be.”

I hang my head. My heart tears at his words. I know he loves me, I can feel it in his words, but our timing is off. “Noel…”

He cups my face and forces me to look at him. “I hate this. The thought of losing you again—it tears me up. Tonight when I walked in on Striker touching you, things went through my mind, and I nearly lost my fucking head. You’re my heart, Lane. You’re my everything.”

To know how much we hurt each other kills me. A sob escapes my lips. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

His thumbs wipe the tears from my face. “I know, baby. It’s not your fault. I have to learn to let go. Don’t blame yourself.”

“I don’t mean to hurt you.”

He sighs and takes a stand of my hair between his fingers. “You can’t worry about that. Losing you will hurt no matter what. Just promise me one thing.”

I gaze into his eyes. “Anything.”

“Promise that you don’t hate me. I can’t live with myself if you do.”

I nod. “Yes. I promise.”

Noel’s lips crush down on mine. I close my eyes and don’t bother to fight what I know is our last kiss. Even though it’s wrong, the sheer need to be with him, to please him in every way, vibrates through every cell in my body. His hand knots into my hair, and I wrap my arms around his neck. My fingertips rub the back of Noel’s neck. It’s so warm and inviting under my touch. My heart pounds, and suddenly I’m hot all over.

“I love you, Lane,” Noel says against my lips. “Forever.”

My breath leaves my chest, and I feel a little dizzy. He breaks our kiss, and heat sears along my jaw as his lips work down my neck. I fist his shirt tightly as I whimper. His large hand grips my thigh and hitches it around his hip as he slides his hand under my skirt. My legs open wider as his fingers trace the elastic edge of my panties. Once the fabric’s aside, he teases my swollen folds with the tip of his finger.

I grab his hair and yank his mouth back to mine. Every inch of me is aroused by his touch, and I tear at his clothes. I want his skin on mine. I need to feel him.

Noel slides both hands up my sides and peels off my dress. It lands in a heap by our feet as he directs his attention to exposing my breasts. One hand massages my breast while he wraps his lips around the other. I throw back my head and moan. It’s amazing how he knows just what I like. He yanks down my panties and then removes his own shirt and pants as though he doesn’t want to give me time to change my mind about this.

Our mouths meet, and he kisses me fiercely. With one swift move, he has me down on the bed. The mattress creaks with our weight, and Noel’s eyes roam down my body. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

I crush my lips to his, and his tip circles my moist flesh, each time hitting my clit and nearly making me lose my mind. I grind against him, and he grins at my excitement. A trail of fire remains in the wake of his lips as they work down my shoulder. He works his hips in a slow steady motion, allowing the head of his cock to slide against my folds. Heat builds up in my core, and after we connect once more, I explode. Every inch of me clenches at the pure release of ecstasy. Noel kisses me, and I moan into his mouth. His tongue finds mine and circles it as he plunges inside me with one quick thrust. My fingernails rake down his back as he fills and stretches me in the most delightful ways.

“I love being inside you. It’s my most favorite place on earth,” he breathes against my lips.

I close my eyes and try to block out the thought that this will never happen again. That this is the last time I will feel this connection with Noel. I bite my lip as I pull my hips up to meet each thrust, allowing him to get deeper. Pretty soon, I feel the fire tugging at the pit of my belly again, and I know it won’t be long until I come for the second time.

“God, Lane, I need you to fall apart with me. I don’t want to be alone.” His words shove me over the edge, and I lose all control. At the same moment, he grunts as he comes hard and fast inside me. After he pulls out of me, he rolls over and stares into my eyes. “I love you.”

A tear streams down my face. “I love you, too. Forever.”

We lay in each other’s arms, neither of us wanting to end the moment, but I know it can’t last. I pull away from him, and he sits up. He kisses the top of my head and grabs a towel before heading to the shower. Once I hear the water turn on, I jump out of bed and throw my clothes back on.

The suitcase I was packing got knocked on the floor. I bend down and stuff the clothes back in it before I zip it and make my way off the bus.