True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3)) (38 page)

When he first met his wife,
Ethan had been the same way, and was pretty sure his face held the same look of fascination. Falling for Elizabeth had been the best thing in his life, but now there were twin feelings of happiness and worry for his brother. Ethan was genuinely happy for the man, if this was what he wanted in life, but he was worried for his life. The killer and stalker made him feel very unsettled.

It wasn’t hard to see that his brother had a ‘thing’ for his wife. Not that he didn’t trust them both completely, but there was a little wave of awareness whenever he saw Callen Whitefox watching her.
Part of him wanted to be angry and push the man away, and part of him wanted to pull him closer. There was this need to protect his baby brother over everything else.

He remembered being kids, when both of their mothers died. Blackhawk s
houldered it like a little man and Callen crumbled, not because he missed her but because then he was alone. The two mothers were like night and day. Catherine Blackhawk was very maternal and doted on her son. Charlene Whitefox had the mothering instinct of a rock. She forgot often to feed her child, come home to him, and never once kissed a cut or made cookies.

T
hat alone, made Ethan want to do anything to protect his brother. He’d had plenty of knocks to the heart in his life. Of the two, his brother could be wounded more easily and struggle to come back in one piece. It was that fact that made him willing to share the love his wife had for them. Blackhawk would do anything to keep his brother from breaking down, including giving him the precious gift of his wife’s love and affection when he desperately needed it.

Yeah,
Callen betrayed him in the past, but this was completely a different thing. Ethan wasn’t a boy anymore, and he wasn’t thinking about his own needs solely. Family was paramount.

Blackhawk put the reports down and looked up. The awareness of eyes watching
him drew his focus. As if he knew he was just thinking about him, Callen stood in the doorway. Again, the same shuttered look on his face, but he could see beyond it.

“Busy?” he asked, once his brother was focused on him.

“No, come in and close the door.”

He did
just that. The fact that there was an issue between him had the man off balance. When his brother came back into his life, he gave him so much. There was no other person he loved more in life than his brother, with the exception of Elizabeth.

“What’s on your mind?”

“We are,” he answered, sitting in the chair closest to his brother, and he could feel the tension there. It broke a part of his heart that he caused this between them. Before the fight they were fine, and again a woman came between them. Just not the one he always believed would. Go figure on that one.

“What specifically?” Blackhawk felt bad too. Not only had he punched his brother again, but he was
gripped with tension over his wife and the man here before him.

“The fight we had. I’m sorry I got pissed and punched you in the face over a woman,” he said
, looking into his brother’s eyes. “I was way across the line, and I wasn’t thinking. You matter more to me, and I just need you to know I was way over the line.”

“It’s okay.” Blackhawk sighed. “If the truth
is to be told, I punched you back for the same reason.” Where to even start with this? “Part of me is edgy about the relationship between you and Elizabeth.”

Whitefox looked surprised. He didn’t think his brother was angry. “I wouldn’t ever cross that line, Ethan. I swore to you that it wouldn’t happen.
I gave you my word.”

Blackhawk nodded
at his brother’s words and steepled his fingers. If he was going to trust him with something so precious, he at least wanted honesty. “So you aren’t in love with her?”

Callen wasn’t going to lie to his brother. “I am in love with her, but you
’re well aware of that and so is she.”

“So Doctor Adare is going to be enough to
help you forget how you feel about Elizabeth?” he asked, seeing the pain in his brother’s eyes and already knowing the answer to that question.

Whitefox thought about what he was going to say, and he weighed it all in his head first, unsure if he should just say it or bury some of it deep.

“Man to man, Callen, and brother to brother, I think I deserve to know the truth.”

“I
’ll always be in love with Elizabeth. I can’t help how I feel about her, and it’s the equivalent to me asking you if you can flip a switch and turn off love for her too. The first day I met her in your office before I knew she was your wife, I fell in love. I don’t know why it happened, and I can sit here and apologize about it daily if it’ll keep us on solid ground, but it’s the truth. I fell for her the same way you did. The only difference is you found her first.”

Ethan
had to respect the man for not lying. They all were aware of his feelings, and it was the big pink elephant in the room when the three of them were together.

“What about Desdemona?” he asked his brother
again. “Where does she fit into this?”

Callen leaned back in the
chair. “I really care about her. I don’t believe one is a replacement for the other. I’ll be in love with Elizabeth for the rest of my life, but I still wouldn’t risk the love I feel for my brother. Your wife is in love with you, she just loves me because of you. There’s a big difference.”

Blackhawk didn’t believe that for a second.
“She loves you because of you, Callen. Not because of me. If we’re going to be honest, then let’s be honest. My wife loves you too. Don’t try to rationalize away the feelings we both know she has. ”

Whitefox wanted to believe that in the worst way. Everything he was building in his life was based on the love he felt for her. She was his strength
and knowing she loved him the same way gave him the ability to keep going.

“Are you mad because of it?” Whitefox asked, knowing his brother had every right to be angry over the entire discussion. When he came back into his life, he’d told him that his wife was completely off limits, and now he was giving him a chance
to touch and own something so precious in his life.

“Honestly?”

“Yes, since you’re big on honesty today.”

“I should be mad as hell. I should be beating the hell out of you, but I don’t feel threatened.
When we’re together I feel warmth and the love of a family.”

Whitefox didn’t know what to think.

“Any man near her usually pisses me off and puts me into a rage, but for some reason I’m willing to stay calm with you.”

“Why?”

Blackhawk thought about that. “I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel wrong knowing she cares and loves you.” He didn’t tell him it was all because of his brother’s past and the wounds Callen had inflicted on his heart. The fact he always felt like an outsider because he was the ‘bastard’ in the family, or how his mother essentially threw him away for drugs and booze. “I’m trying to not look into it too much. Elizabeth is pretty logical, and I’m going to let her take the lead on this one.”

“I’m sorry I punched you.”

Ethan Blackhawk accepted that. “I’m sorry I knocked you on your ass,” he said grinning.

“So we’re okay, Ethan?” Callen couldn’t believe his luck. Having a brother was a really great thing.

“We are as thick as thieves, bro.”

It was a phrase their grandfather used frequently, when they were growing up. His eyes began to fill with emotion and unshed tears.

“Come here,” Blackhawk said, standing. The protectiveness was back, and he would do anything to keep the man in front of him in one piece emotionally. 

Whitefox stood and went to his brother, and they wrapped their arms around each other. He could feel the strength in the man he called brother, and he allowed himself to take some of it as his own.

“I’m glad she’s your best friend, Cal. She’s ours, and I’m okay with trusting my blood with the love of my life. I told you once before that she wasn’t like the woman that broke us up. Elizabeth has so much love in her, that giving you half of it still leaves me with more than I deserve in this lifetime.”

Those words meant everything to him. His brother was allowing him to relax and care about the woman that healed them without retribution.
He let out a ragged breath.

“Oh look at this
! It’s a group hug, and I wasn’t invited,” said Elizabeth from the doorway.

Callen couldn’t
speak; he was too choked up as he looked up at her across the room.

“My two favorite men in the entire world are hugging it out
, and I don’t get an invite?”

Both men opened up for her, and she immediately went to them.

Elizabeth just had that effect on them. They were a family and a sturdy unit. They may fight and have their moments of stress, but when it came down to it, they were tight.

“I love you both,” she said
, trapped between them protectively. “But the next time you beat the hell out of each other over something so completely silly, I will hand you both an ass kicking for being idiots.” Elizabeth willingly accepted the kisses on each side of her forehead.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” said her husband
laughing.

“We’re Blackhawks, and that means we have each other’s backs.” Elizabeth loved them both and trusted they’d work it all out.
“Nothing breaks us. Nothing will pull us apart and at the end of the day, we go home together or we don’t go home.”

“Like the
Three Musketeers?” asked Blackhawk.

Whitefox interjected
teasingly, “I get to be the French one.”

Elizabeth laughed. “I’m getting you that book
for your damn birthday, because they’re all French. And you call yourself a literary collector?”

Now all three were laughing and were glad no one could see them in their big group hug.

“I specialize in collecting Seuss,” he muttered into her hair, as he felt the tears evaporating with just her being near.

Elizabeth laughed and
stared up at her husband. She wasn’t sure what he did, but it brought the emotion out in Whitefox and the tension there earlier was gone.

He smiled the famous Blackhawk grin, and was completely at ease with both of them. They were safe and in his arms and that’s all that really mattered. 

“Now we need to get out in the field,” Elizabeth muttered into their shirts. It pained her to have to break up their little hug fest, but there was a killer to find.

Both men broke apart and started laughing.
“You’re not going out in the field,” they said together.

“You know that the little conversation about you being my second husband wasn’t regarding you being able to boss me around too, right?” she stated, pointing at Whitefox.

“Let’s vote,” suggested Blackhawk. “All those in favor of Elizabeth going out in the field raise their hands.”

Elizabeth did just that.

“All those that are fervently against Elizabeth going out to risk her life, please raise your hand.” Both Whitefox and Blackhawk raised both hands, and opened themselves up for two sucker punches to the ribs.

“You know, I’m not going to be pregnant for much longer, and as soon as I
’m baby free, I swear on everything that’s holy, I will kick both of your asses big time. I’m not an invalid.”

Both brothers laughed
as they rubbed their rib cages.

Desdemona wandered into the room blowing a bubble with her peppermint gum, she was about to head down to start the autopsy
, and she wanted to see if anyone was joining her. What she found was the beginnings of a fight.

“Uh, I can come back,” she paused in the doorway.

“No need,” answered Ethan Blackhawk. “We were just planning the rest of the day, and who wasn’t going out in the field.

“I’m going,”
Elizabeth said continuing, “and the reason I’m going is simply this. No one is killing women, but someone is killing men. I also excel at the details and you do not,” she pointed at Ethan Blackhawk. “You are still a newbie and are inexperienced.” Then she looked over her shoulder at the doctor. “She has a body to dig through. The most logical choice is to go with me, so stop fighting me.”

“I don’t want to leave Desdemona alone.”

“Hey!” she protested. “I’m a grown woman.”

Whitefox started laughing
and then realized doing that only worked for them and Elizabeth. The doctor looked pretty angry at his laughter.

Desdemona walked towards him and looked over her glasses at him. “For your information Callen, you may be bigger than me, but I assure you while you can only kill with that gun, I happen to know one hundred places on the human body that will kill a person and none of them take much force.”

He didn’t know what to say to that.

“Wow, looks
like the doctor has a brass set after all,” snickered Elizabeth, fist bumping her husband. It was funny to watch the look on Whitefox’s face.