True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3)) (31 page)

“Callen,” she whispered
, as he pulled her legs apart and took his place between them.

“
No gentleness, Desi,” he hissed in her ear, and felt her shake. He didn’t even have the patience to remove his jeans. Whitefox was that desperate to quench the need in his body from months of torment at another woman’s hands.

She swallowed and nodded, as he found her wet and ready and pushed into her hard and fast.

“Christ so tight,” he muttered, as he had to take a moment to regain his control. He opened his eyes to see her looking up at him, still no fear present, and she too was breathing hard. “Ready?” he asked when he was finally able to regain the power of speech.

She couldn’t
answer, he was filling her to capacity, and it was the most delicious feeling she’d ever had in her life. Again, she just nodded, and her hands went to his shoulders, and then she lost the ability to think, as he started moving and there was just too much pleasure.

Desdemona
was tight and like a satin lined glove. Slowly he pulled out, and slid back into place fast.

They both gasped and then came together again and again.

Part of him wanted to slow down, offer her so much pleasure, but the wildness in him was in control. He couldn’t slow down, he wanted harder and faster. To the point it was merciless pounding of his body into hers. Now his mind wandered, and he let it, as he visualized the woman he wanted desperately.

The breathless moans kept slipping from her lips, and when he switched the angle, and continued he found just the right spot. Light erupted, and shattered around her is such an explosion she couldn’t breathe.

When Whitefox heard her moan his name, and then the tightening of her body around him, he wasn’t going to last long. One more stroke, then two, and then on the third he slammed home, erupted hotly, and followed her into the white bliss.

Desdemona
couldn’t feel anything but him lying over her body, and then she could feel the room spinning and she was no longer on the bottom. Callen had her across his body, and his arms protectively around her.

“You okay?” he asked, when he could speak again.

She laughed.

“I guess that’s a yes?” he looked down at her, and she had her eyes closed and a smile on her lips.

“That was most definitely a yes, Callen.” When she opened her eyes, she could see the worry on his face. “What’s wrong?” Immediately she began to worry, maybe he hadn’t enjoyed it, or she did something wrong.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked softly, running his fingers over the cut in her lip.
The guilt was now there, and not because she had a cut on her lip but because he was thinking of another woman while having sex with her. Callen pushed it down, praying it would just seep away.

It touched her heart. He wasn’t going to tell her she sucked in bed, he was worried about her. She lost another part of her heart right there and then. “Nope, I’m perfectly content,” she said running her fingers over the tattoo on his abs.

“I’m glad.”

“Why a fox?” she asked, curiously.

Whitefox pulled the blanket up around them and thought about her question. “Ethan and I grew up very Native,” he answered. “When we both were young, we picked spirit guides. Our grandfather used to call us the Raven and the Fox. Ethan was the big brother that watched over us, and I was the fox, the younger brother that managed to always find us trouble,” he paused when she laughed.

“Yeah, you’re trouble alright.
So I think you picked the right spirit guide.”

He grinned wickedly.
“You wouldn’t be the first woman that’s told me I’m trouble.”

Oh, Desdemona had no doubt about that.
She didn’t understand the whole ‘Native’ spirit guide thing, it always seemed silly to her as a scientist. Well that and her grand-mère scoffed at anything Native. In fact, if she knew about Callen, she’d lose it.

Callen
noticed the guard coming back up, and the hard shell to protect her returning. He didn’t understand why she didn’t see what he saw. Everything in him wanted to make her feel better, after all he owed her that much.

“
I may be trouble, but there’s no one I’d rather be trouble with, Desi.”

She looked at him wondering if he was being honest or not. Men said lots of things, especially after sex.

“I promise next time I’ll take my time and prove it to you.” And not think about another woman- or try.

Desdemona changed the subject. “So, what’s grow
ing up on a reservation like?” She was genuinely curious.

“Horrible, destitute, miserable,
poor,” he paused. “Want to visit it?” Now he was laughing. He was glad he escaped the Rez, and now he had a well-paying job, a life he loved, and a woman that he needed to persuade to stay with him. What he wanted was the life his brother had built, and he conspired to copy it.

She continued to run her fingers over the fox, tracing it, and enjoying the way his muscles rippled
at her touch. “I’d love to visit it. Do you still live on one?”

“
My cabin is on the Rez and not far from my brother’s house. But I’m thinking of moving off it, once my grandfather is gone.” Those words stung, but he knew he only stayed because of Timothy and obligation.

Desdemona heard the change in his voice.

“I’ll take you to see it, if you want,” he said, impressed she was curious. Also he thought back to what Elizabeth had said. The family patriarch demanded to meet her. If they were going to have a relationship, they were going to have to go back at some point.

“I’d like that,” she said.

“What was the bayou like?” Callen Whitefox wondered if she’d tell him the truth about her life, or if she’d evade.

“Horrible, destitute, miserable, poor,” she laughed, as she used the same words he used. “But my
grand-mère made it tolerable. When my mom disappeared, she was all I had left and because of her ‘unique’ job, it was fun. There were the snakes, bugs, roots, and of course the gators. We didn’t have a lot growing up, but honestly I never realized it. Everyone around us was in the same financial state. It was just the bayou.”

Whitefox kissed her on the top of the head. “Will you take me there sometime?” he asked, wondering if she’d keep her past locked away.

“You want to go to a swamp?” she laughed. “Damn, maybe I am seductive,” she laughed.

He noticed she didn’t answer the question
. “Nice deflection. How about you answer the question?”

Desdemona laughed. “I tell you what, if I ever decide to go back, I’ll be sure to invite you along.”

“You don’t visit?”

“Not really. In ten years maybe three times.” How did she explain to the man that whenever she went back the stalking became horrible. It chased her for months after, and eventually she made excuses to stay away.
It scared her shitless to go back to the bayou, and it was a constant reminder of losing her mother. There really wasn’t anyone to go back to. It wasn’t like she had a family circle that welcomed her. If she did, maybe she would go back more often or live there. What she didn’t tell him was that her grand-mère would have a shit fit if she wandered home with an
‘Indian’
. Morgana Adare wasn’t fond of Natives at all. No, she wanted to keep Callen as far from her family as possible.

“Deal,” he said, holding up his pinky finger
, waiting for her to swear.

Desdemona laughed,
covering the lie. “Happy?”

“Extremely.”

“We should get ready to work. I can hear Elizabeth downstairs, and they’ll think we’re…” She didn’t know what to call it.

“Does that bother you?”
Again he had a flashback of last night, and he fought to keep the anger down. Despite the conversation he had with Elizabeth, her being embarrassed by them together bothered him. What he wanted was complete acceptance from her.

“
Callen.” She touched his cheek. “Don’t. Okay?”

“Don’t what?”
He was irritated that this had to be so damn difficult. Affection should be easily given, despite the situation.

“
It’s easy for you, because he’s your brother, and she’s your sister. You’re comfortable with them and at ease.” She almost wanted to add the part where he was obviously in love with Elizabeth, but she opted to swallow the jealousy again. “They’re still my bosses. It has nothing to do with you and me, or us having sex. It just feels weird to be rolling around in a bed while your bosses are downstairs. That’s all. Nothing more and that’s what I tried to tell you last night. I’m not embarrassed by us being together. I’m horrified that my bosses, the people that hired me, know I’m having sex with another co-worker a few feet away.”

“So if we were at your house and they li
ve right behind you?” he asked, posing the question.

“Close the blinds and then commence rolling.
That’s my house and they aren’t eight feet below me.”

He
tried to laugh, as he pulled her up his body to kiss her. “Okay, I won’t read too much into it,” he answered after breaking the kiss, but still it bothered him. How could it not? He wanted a woman that wouldn’t ever deny what they had. That was a deal breaker for him. Callen needed someone unashamed of him and his life. Right there he should have listened to his brain screaming the warning, but he once again pushed it down. He opted for the long shot.

“Good,” she rolled off his body and shook her hair out. “I’m going to shower
.” Desdemona blew him a kiss. “See you downstairs.”

Whitefox got the message. She was retreating to the shower to be alone again
and dismissing him. Again he fought the anger, but this time opted to do something about it. When he heard the water turn on, he counted to ten, and slid out of bed. He knew he had to chase her down, and he followed her into the bathroom. Desdemona wasn’t getting away that easily. If she thought she could escape at all, she’d use it all the time. Whitefox was cutting off all the viable escape routes, except the one that led straight to him.

When she yelped in surprise
, as his hands wrapped around her waist, he grinned predatorily.

“
I get the feeling you believed you were showering alone, Desdemona.”

She stared at him. “I intended to, Callen.”

He covered her mouth with his and refused to let her protest. The willingness she had to deny him, based on Elizabeth and Ethan nearby pissed him off. When Whitefox was a boy and he was told to not do something, it just made him want it that much more. It appeared the same thing happened to him as an adult.

T
his time he took his time and didn’t care their bosses were downstairs. Now it was all about proving a point, to her and himself.

                          *        *        *

Elizabeth sat watching her husband across the table, as he read the tech reports that had just come in, and he looked distracted. His hair was down, and he had yet to button his shirt. Last night he chased her to bed, and then called the sheriff. That’s all she remembered, because she fell asleep immediately. Part of her was worried that he was upset they hadn’t had sex. Usually they spent the time before bed kissing and rolling around, but with this assignment and other people in the house, it wasn’t happening. He wasn’t talking, and that made her incredibly nervous.

Blackhawk could feel
the questioning stare of his wife, and he was trying to regain his composure before they had the discussion that was bothering him. The previous evening’s attempt on their lives had him worried that Deputy Tills wasn’t going to stop until they found him. Soon he’d have to boss his wife around again to keep her and his unborn child safe.

“Are you mad at me because I fell asleep before sex?” she asked, softly. There were tears filling her eyes, and she was going to embark on the emotional pregnancy rollercoaster at any second.

Alarmed, he glanced up. “Baby, what?” He wasn’t even thinking about sex. When he was stuck on the phone longer than planned, he noticed she fell asleep, and he smiled tucking her in. The pregnancy and the assignment was grueling on her body, he wasn’t upset in the least.

“You look mad, and I didn’t do anything else that I’m aware of to piss you off.” A tear slid down her cheek.

“Oh Lyzee, baby!” Ethan Blackhawk took her hand and pulled her up and into his lap. “I’m not mad at you, and I wouldn’t ever be angry that my pregnant wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep. The baby and you come first.” Blackhawk kissed the tear away and then found her lips, and kissed his wife, slow, long and deep. Her hands were buried in his hair and he felt his body coming alive. He was about to suggest going back upstairs, when his brother and Doctor Adare entered the room.

Callen stopped.
“Sorry,” he said, laughing and clearing his throat. Then he noticed Elizabeth was crying. Immediately, he rushed to her side. “Are you okay?” he asked, glaring down at his brother and punching him in the arm. “What did you do to her?” he accused.

Blackhawk laughed
at how protective his brother was of his wife. It should have angered him, but it just gave him a sense of peace that his wife was doubly protected and loved.