True Love Lost (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 3)) (11 page)

Elizabeth took her husband in her mouth and did all the things that she knew made him lose control. Lately their lovemaking was controlled, and she knew he was worried about the baby. Now she was going to teach him a lesson he wouldn’t forget. Elizabeth was going to take her husband, one way or another
, making him lose complete and total control.

This was her new mission in life.

When she cupped him and stroked him with her mouth
, he was in heaven, and when she added teeth he didn’t think he’d make it much longer, and then she did something she never did before. His wife began to hum, and just that alone caused the shaking in his body to begin.

“Oh God, Lyzee,” he
mumbled, as he arched up to meet her mouth in forceful thrusts. It was like nothing he ever felt before. “Killing me, I can’t hold out much longer,” he practically begged.

Elizabeth listened to the desperation in his voice, and knew she still had a few moments to enjoy tormenting her husband before he lost control completely. Then she heard the ragged breath, and his body stopped shaking. When she gazed up at him, she saw the pure unadulterated lust on his face and she just knew. Ethan Blackhawk was
a man teetering precariously on the edge and about to lose control.

“Baby
!” It was the only word he could get out of his mouth, as he pulled her up his body and rolled with her until she was beneath him.

“I want you, Ethan,” she
spoke softly, opening for him. Her body welcomed him and lured him in with the promise of complete bliss and pleasure. “You can’t hurt me or the baby,” she whispered, giving him permission to relax and just enjoy the intimacy of the moment.

Once she gave him the words, h
e couldn’t think anymore. The instinct in him to claim his wife took control. All he knew was he had to have her, and he needed it now. It was beyond need, it was compulsion. Sliding deep into her body, she moaned and he couldn’t breathe. All he wanted was a rough ride, and he planned on it. Blackhawk was completely out of control, and once again, his wife pushed him there. As he felt her clench around him, his arms braced on either side of her, he began his invasion. It wasn’t gentle and it wasn’t easy. What he wanted and needed overcame his sense of protectiveness for his wife and unborn child. All he desired to hear was her begging and then screaming his name. The pure unadulterated lust was now in control, and he slid all the way in her body and then out. Then he slammed back into her and knew he wasn’t going to make it much longer.

“
Ethan!” Elizabeth dug the nails of her one hand into his shoulder, and with the other pulled his mouth down to hers and plunged into the ecstasy. All she demanded was met and returned with equal need.

He slid into her body more forcefully
, until a gasp and moan escaped her lips. When he knew he wouldn’t make it much longer, he broke the kiss, looking down into her eyes. “God baby, now!” he hissed through clenched teeth as he waited until she began to quake around him. When she did, he slammed into her one last time, pouring hotly into his wife and joining her in the blissful stupor.

Elizabeth shattered and she felt herself relax into the free fall. It was perfect. Everything about their coming together was heaven.
It always would be, because he was her true love.

When Ethan could breathe again, he remembered his wife was pregnant, and that he was practically laying over her and
the baby. “Shit, did I hurt you?” he asked in a panic, practically jumping off her body.

“Mmmmm, no
Cowboy,” she answered, pulling him back down and curling against him. “Two more minutes to just enjoy this before we head out,” she whispered into his ear.

When he realized she wasn’t
in pain, he relaxed and enjoyed the few moments they’d have before they had to leave for Red River.

“Ethan?” she
asked, running her fingers over the tattoo on his chest.

“Yeah baby?”
Blackhawk could feel his body regaining feeling again.

“Promise me you aren’t going to make me wait until after the assignment to have sex again. It’s not nice to torture a pregnant woman. I could snap and kill everyone around me
in some hormonal rampage.”

Blackhawk didn’t know what he was expecting her to ask, but it certainly wasn’t that. Once he started laughing, she joined him. He left a kiss on the tip of her nose.
“I can’t allow that to happen, Elizabeth. The odds are in your favor that I won’t be able to keep my hands off you. I never can.”

Elizabeth grinned. “Good to know, Mr. Blackhawk.”

Desdemona and Callen had some pleasant conversation as they drove together to Red River. She didn’t think they’d have anything to talk about, but he had an easy way about him. There was no pretense,
and she didn’t feel like she needed to be someone she wasn’t. Somehow he managed to get her to be completely relaxed.

“So, you want to tell me more about you?” he asked, as the GPS gave off its next direction. “I’ll tell you all about me and
my brother,” he offered, trying to lure her into spilling information about herself.

She considered it
and had to admit she was curious about both men. “Okay.”

“Want me to go first
?” he asked, as he looked over at her. Callen Whitefox had been spending the last hour trying to get the doctor to just relax and not be so knotted up. The woman was a nervous wreck and for some unknown reason it pulled at his heart. She seemed like a really sweet person, and he genuinely was enjoying his time with her. In fact, she was actually cute when she smiled at him. He felt the waves of protectiveness building in him.

“Okay, you go first,” she said, smiling over at him. Desdemona knew he was trying his best to help her adjust to him, and to the idea they were being joined by
the Blackhawks.

“Well, as you can already see
the obvious, I’m Native and I grew up on a reservation. My brother and I both lost our mother’s early. I think Ethan was thirteen and I was fourteen.”

She looked over at him, and understood the pain. “My mom disappeared when I was ten
, and I never knew my father,” she said, simply.

“How did she die?” he asked, softly. This might be something she didn’t like to talk about, but he’d ask anyway.

Desdemona thought about it. “One day she went out to pick some roots for my grand-mère, and she never came back,” she answered.

Whitefox noticed it was said
with no emotion, but her eyes gave her away. The pain was still there. Now that she gave him some information, he’d do the same.

“My mom was a single parent
and really young when she had me. My father knocked her up, on a one night stand, and then went back to his wife.”

“That had to be hard,” she said, touching his arm lightly.

Whitefox enjoyed the feeling of her fingers on his arm, and his body began to warm. It wasn’t the same reaction he noticed when Elizabeth touched him, but it still drew his attention. “It was hard when I was growing up, but I ended up with a terrific grandfather out of the deal, and then I got my brother too,” he paused, and thought about what else to tell her. “My dad and I had a shitty relationship until a few months ago. Ethan came back to help me solve a serial killer assignment on the reservation and we reconnected with our father. I found out information that I wasn’t aware of, like he honestly tried to get my mother to marry him, but she wasn’t into starting a family.”

Desdemona heard the anguish, and saw how his face tensed. “Did Ethan have a bad relationship
with him too?”

“Yeah,
Wyler wasn’t exactly a great dad,” he shrugged and continued, “but he ended up saving Elizabeth’s life, and then getting shot in the chest protecting our grandfather. I guess it gives you perspective when you almost lose a parent.”

“My mom wouldn’t talk about my
dad. In fact, I don’t even know if my sister and I share the same father. I’ve asked her to submit to a DNA test, and she just refuses and tells me it’s best to not know.”

“My mom made it clear who my father was,” he stated and then
pushed on, “but she told me to keep it quiet, and I did for a long time. For a while I didn’t believe that we really were brothers. I always thought back to my mom liking to party and sleeping around. It was always a doubt in my mind. I don’t look like a Blackhawk and it weighed heavily on me.”

“Did you do a DNA test?” she asked, purely from a scientific standpoint. Okay, maybe not all science and some curiosity.

Callen thought back to the killer that they had caught that was their half-brother. Elizabeth had the lab run their DNA, and that was confirmation that Wyler Blackhawk was really his father. After the fact, he confided to Elizabeth that it was always his secret fear they’d find out he wasn’t a genetic match, and he’d lose the only family he ever had. Not even his brother knew he doubted his DNA all his life. The woman knew all his secrets and all his biggest fears, and she told him the outcome wouldn’t have mattered in the least. He would have been part of
HER
family.

“Yeah, we did a test.” Thanks to his best friend, he had confirmation.
Thinking about Elizabeth made his heart skip.

“How did you lose your mom?” she asked, softly. “You don’t have to tell me,” she added quickly, worried she offended him.

Callen Whitefox reached over and patted her cheek. “Desdemona, don’t be afraid to just be you and ask questions. If you want to survive around the Blackhawks you need to not over think everything. You’ll find that with all of us, Elizabeth included, we tend to be pretty blunt and to the point.”

She nodded, and was well aware that he was right. If anything she was nothing but timid and scared, and her past did that to her. When he looked away, she touched her cheek where his hand had been.

Yeah, he gave her butterflies. Big ones and that meant trouble.

“As I said, my mom was a party girl. One night she went out to have some fun, drank too much and had a drug bender. She never woke up from it.” He was honest with her, and for many years no one knew what happened to his mother. Whitefox was pretty sure his grandfather, Timothy Blackhawk, had managed to keep it quiet on the reservation. The man didn’t want the tribe hurting his grandson with speculation and gossip. Only the family knew the truth. As for the abuse, not even Elizabeth knew about it.

“That’s horrible,” she said, her heart aching for him. “Where were you?”

“About two years before that my grandfather took me away from her. My mother didn’t really want to be a mom. There weren’t movie nights and cuddling on the couch. Sometimes she forgot I even existed. I could wander away, and she wouldn’t think to even come looking for me. One day I did just that, and one of the tribe happened to tell my grandfather, and he intervened. Timothy wasn’t going to watch it happen.”

“I’m sorry Callen,” she said with sincere feelings. She couldn’t imagine how that must have hurt.

“I’m not sorry,” he answered sincerely, looking over at her. “My brother once pointed out something important. If she wasn’t the woman she was, I wouldn’t have been born, I wouldn’t have had my brother, and I wouldn’t be here right now. Fate matters,” he stated. “I believe in fate and how it leads us to where we need to be, no matter how hard we fight it. Because she made horrible choices, I was given things I wouldn’t have had. Family to me is the most important thing in the world. Elizabeth and Ethan mean everything to me and they always will.”

“I never thought of it that way,” she said.

“When my mother let me go, I was given a family. Now I have Elizabeth and a nephew on the way too. My circle grew because of fate, and I wouldn’t go back and do anything differently.” That was a lie. He wouldn’t have betrayed his brother, but he wasn’t going there with a stranger.

Because he shared his pain, Desdemona
decided to share a part of her past. “There were rumors around what happened to my mom. Some people said she ran off with some man, and others said she fell into the swamp and was eaten by the gators.”

“Wow,”
he didn’t know which was worse, having a mom that abandoned her kids or one that was eaten by a reptile. Both scenarios seemed unpleasant.

“My
grand-mère raised me and my sister,” she paused. “She’s… different.” No one knew about her grandmother, it just wasn’t something she spoke about. Not because she was embarrassed, but… Okay, because she was a woman of science and her grandmother was the complete opposite.

“Different?”

“Can I trust you?” she asked. “I mean really trust you not to say what I’m going to tell you to anyone else?”

Callen Whitefox couldn’t imagine what she had to say that would be surprising. “Yes, I promise not to speak a word of it.”

Desdemona watched him with cat eyes and contemplated it. “Pinky swear?”

He laughed
caught off guard. “Yes, I pinky swear,” he held his hand out and offered it up. When she smiled at him, he finally saw her relax. Her eyes sparkled, her smile was genuine, and he realized that she was finally being herself.

She took his pinky with hers. “My grandmother is a bayou witch.”

Okay, that he wasn’t expecting, and he found it entertaining. “That’s pretty funny.”

“I’m serious
.” She didn’t think he’d laugh, and instantly she wanted to hide as the hurt began to surface.

“Desdemona, I’m not laughing at
you or what you’ve just said. What I’m laughing at is my grandfather is a reservation Shaman. It’s the same thing, different religions that’s all. We have a lot in common,” he said, reaching over and touching her chin and making her look at him. “I won’t ever laugh at you, I promise. We’re partners on this assignment, and I don’t laugh at people I’m here to protect.”

Desdemona’s heart skipped a beat.

“I swear, Desdemona.”

“I believe you, Callen, b
ut just in case.” She held up her pinky again and laughed.

Whitefox
shook his head, and he was completely entertained by this little woman. Again he held up his pinky and made the oath. “Now, can I be honest about something?”

Desdemona Adare chewed on her bottom lip, debating if she wanted to hear what he was going to say. Part of her hoped it wasn’t going to be that she was cute
. She really hated being called cute or adorable. Kittens and puppies were cute. “I guess so, Callen.”

“Not that I don’t like your name, but Desdemona is a mouthful. I think you need a nickname,” he smiled
easily. “Do you have one that your friends use?” he asked.

“I’ve never had one,” she answered honestly. “Well, I had one in college, but it’s not really a nickname.”

“What was it?” Now he was curious.

“Morticia. I guess it was because of the hair and the de
aling with death all day long. I didn’t particularly like it, so I’d prefer we forget that option.”

“No other nicknames?”

“Sometimes I’m called Doc, but other than that not really.” Desdemona opted to not tell him she didn’t really have friends. The last thing she wanted from him was pity.

Whi
tefox grinned. “I tell you what. I think I’ll call you Desi, because it’s easier and we’re friends. Things should always be easier between friends. We’ll keep the Morticia thing just between you and me. How’s that?”

“Deal,” she leaned over and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Callen, for being my friend
.” Then she sat back, realizing what she just did, and she hoped she didn’t just make a huge mistake. Immediately she began praying that on the outside she was maintaining a nonchalant look on her face. On the inside her body was on fire and churning into a wicked brew of lust and crazy mad need for the man. Crap the man smelled so damn good.

Callen
tensed when he realized she was going to kiss him. Granted it was a simple kiss, and one that meant nothing more than what it was, but he reacted to it. Hope grew in him that finally someone would find something redeeming in him. That the possibility that he was attractive to an outsider might happen, and he may have the possibility of a life like his brother. The kiss was sweet, and it touched his heart. Desdemona was a nice woman.

“You’re very welcome, Desi.” Right then he needed to change the
subject; he was supposed to be a director for the FBI, not a man looking for a woman. “Can you check my phone for me? I think I heard it beep before.”

“It’s on your belt,” she said, pointing out the obvious. It meant reaching over, under his coat and pulling it free. That meant almost touching him, not that she wouldn’t mind
running her hands all over his body…

O
h crap where had that come from?

Whitefox laughed. “You just kissed me
, and you’re worried about removing my phone from my belt?”

The heat rushed her face. “I kissed you on the cheek, that’s not really a kiss,” she stated, trying to defend it.

Whitefox didn’t want her to retreat but he couldn’t help it. “Oh, so explain to me how that kiss was different from a ‘real’ kiss,” he teased her, grinning the Blackhawk grin he’d inherited from his family. It always caught the ladies. After he said the words and grinned he realized what he was doing.