True Heroes (16 page)

              “How is your future and my wife’s death none of my business? No matter what’s happened, I’m still her husband and still your father.”

              Caleb’s eyes looked into his father’s with as pointed a glare as he could muster. “When have you been around to support or care about either of those things?”

              The calm, flat line of his father’s lips broke for a second. ‘He’s trying to warn me not to question the level of his devotion.’ After wiping at his short beard, he calmed. “I loved her so much more than you ever have the right to question, Caleb. Between you and her, I had the love of the entire world in the same house.”

              “And that’s your justification for never being around to show either of us any kind of attention? Too much love to handle?”

              His father’s hands were shoved into respective pockets as Caleb clenched his fists in response to the motion. ‘Hold it back…hold everything back….’ “Listen, I’m not the guy I seem to be. I was never around because you both depended on me for everything, and I couldn’t ever fail her. Once you were born, I had two people I could never afford to fail. So, I started working harder and faster than ever and we sit in a quarter-million dollar house today. I’ll be home more often to keep things running here until you head off to college. Even after that, I’ll always be around to support you with money or whatever else. That’s what she wanted. That’s what she told me I had to start doing.”

              The dark eyes of his father began to grow a little darker. That, combined with his miniature speech, was enough to temporarily break through Caleb’s haze of intense, confused emotions. ‘Not enough for the win, though.’ “Guess I’ll be seeing you around then.”

              His father snatched up his jacket and said over his shoulder, “Like I said, I’ll be here whenever you feel like you’re ready to talk.”

              ‘That’ll be a while.’ The older man walked out of the room, leaving the door ajar and Caleb alone with his thoughts. A loud vibration from his night stand caught his attention. ‘Must be Carol.’ He extended his power and brought the phone to his hand. He frowned a bit while looking at the unassigned number. ‘Whose number is that? How do I answer this thing? Turn it…green button…say something.’ “Hello?”

              A second of silence deafened him before he finally got an answer. “Is this Caleb?”

              ‘Not Carol. Where have I heard this voice before?’ “It is. Who is this?”

              “This is Marion.” She kept talking but Caleb tuned her out for his own thoughts. ‘And I feel better suddenly? So many questions in my head! It’s getting crowded in here. I like it. I like the mysteries of her calling me…I can breathe a little….’ She continued to speak. “Why haven’t you been in class though young man?”

              Caleb stumbled over his own ability to speak. “I, um, my mother died last week and I’ve been taking it a bit hard.”

              A longer silence followed. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that, Caleb. You think you’re too strong to have any emotions? C’mon tough guy. Don’t for one second think that you’re being too hard on yourself. You’re totally fine with some time off of school. That’s the only reason I called. I’m very curious as to how your school work is all caught up and all of your clubs are reporting your full cooperation when you haven’t been around.”

              “Ah, I’ve had a couple of friends drop my stuff here then turn it in for me. My clubs have been a little harder to keep up but I’ve used whatever resources I had at my disposal—”

              “But, Caleb, your mother just died. You shouldn’t be running around trying to make everyone else happy. You need to just sit back and relax until your mind regroups.”

              Caleb’s lips curled into something resembling an old smile. “I can’t stop being who I am, but don’t worry I should be back in time for my little presentation day.” He glanced at his list of three words he still had to narrow down to one and grimaced at that task. “I do still have some thinking to do, but like I said, it shouldn’t take too much longer.”

              “All right, well, don’t rush it and we all can’t wait to get you back. You can react just like the rest of us do to this situation. You’re allowed.”

              They said good-bye before Caleb went straight to his notebook sheet with his last three words scribbled on it and began his process. ‘Let’s get distracted.’ A welcome numbing emerged as a side effect of his immersion into thought but only swam a few laps into his logic before a noise caught him off guard. ‘At my door. Who’s…Carol. Sneaky girl.’ She smiled shyly from his frame and received a welcoming version from Caleb in return. Her gentle hands pushed the door the rest of the way open, revealing a duffel bag hanging from her left shoulder. “Need some company?”

              Caleb smiled and placed his notebook paper aside. He lay back onto his pillow and flipped on the television while patting the area next to him on the bed. Their embrace took multiple forms between hugging and intermittent kisses, meanwhile totally ignoring the news story on the television about a family that was found dead in an abandoned van by the river.

-                            -                            -                           

Carol shifted and curled her body into a ball, effectively taking all of the blankets with her. Caleb just smiled. ‘She’s warm and happy away in a dream. Noble thought since we can’t sleep. Can’t flippin’ turn off the distractions now…. knowledge, strength, courage…that’s all I can think about isn’t it? My final three.’ The fluorescent numbers shining from his alarm clock kept playfully winking at him the fact that he was about to see the sunrise firsthand. ‘Sleep can wait its turn.’ He carefully got out of bed and snatched his small list before making his way out to the bathroom. A soft glow crept along the wooden floor from the living room. ‘I guess old habits die hard. Anytime I went into his room as a sneaky kid, the television was on and his recliner was set to sleep mode. I awoke at the witching hour more than once to the image of an infomercial’s light gently rocking the chair with my dad unconsciously holstered to a snoring sleep. He was a Cyclops in a cave. Mom knew that too. That’s why she had her own room back then. My ability to care must be coming back….’ 

After closing the door, Caleb propped up the list and began to think out loud as quietly as he could. “Word one: knowledge. Knowledge of oneself can lead to the second word, strength. But knowing isn’t enough. You can know you’re courageous and that you’re strong, but courage isn’t possessable, therefore not knowledgeable. You discover it has always been one of many possibilities inherent in every human. Something under knowledge. Ingrained so deeply into all three that the weight of them would break a human’s grasp….” He went quiet and continued internally with his mission. ‘Courage can only be maintained through strength, which takes knowledge of courage…ugh. In another circle we go.’ He kept pushing; his mind bounced from each dead-end with a new thread lending another sideways path. ‘Word association time: Courage…brave, but not possessing bravery necessarily. A moment of clarity when personal gains don’t matter—focus!’

Another hour of pacing and thinking passed before Caleb snatched the list, crumpled the words, and threw it against the wall. A heavy sigh later, he leaned his weight on the sink. ‘Maybe if I bounce ideas off of Carol this would go easier, or maybe if I sank into my power I could think a little faster—’

Caleb shot up and looked at his eyes in the mirror while freezing on that word. ‘Not my power, but a general power; a perfect power. Yes…. Knowledge is power, and if you have ultimate knowledge, you make courage obsolete because there’s simply nothing to be afraid of…ultimate knowledge is equivalent to ultimate strength, with which you can be a force for justice whenever it’s called for….Yes!’ He chuckled a few times in victory and found his eyes wandering to his black hair. ‘This is the first step to justice. Not vengeance, but the justice of the universe.’

Grabbing soap and washcloths, he quickly stripped and stepped into the shower. ‘How am I gonna get this black out of my hair? Who cares? Wash until it hurts. She’ll be able to sleep in peace…sleep in peace…sleep….’ Caleb hit his head on the plexiglass while dozing in the warmth. ‘Ow…keep washing. You’ll sleep tonight. Carol’s alarm blaring…must be sunrise time.’

He let the water run and kept the pride flowing from his brain through his entire body and out through rationalizing whispers and webs of thought while continuing his arduous shampooing cycle. ‘How do I make it clear that power is for protection of loved ones? Make it your argument for Marion’s class. They’ll offer fresh insights if nothing else. It’ll be an easy grade to boot.’

After a half an hour and a full bottle of shampoo, the black dye finally rinsed out most of the way to reveal his natural, deep brown strands. His hand rove a towel through his scalp until it was reasonably dry before he crept into his room. He sat in his corner chair, watching Carol twist and turn to fight off getting up for a few moments longer and let himself smile at the shade of lust breaking through his current thoughts. ‘All the maturity in the world can’t hide the fact that you’re a teenager that doesn’t wanna get up for school, baby.’ She began to stir again. ‘How did we change gears so fast? We were weeping like Greeks a week ago, and I was a meaningless whelp not twenty-four hours ago…it’s all different now. It’s not a tideless sea in my heart anymore. It’s transformed into something resembling a snow storm; a quiet, calm power that’s gentle and frozen in place.’

Carol’s head finally came around to where he sat and smiled. “Awake so early?”

He smiled right back. “Didn’t get much sleep. My mind wanted to think more than it wanted to rest. How’d you sleep?”

Still shirtless, Caleb walked over to her moving body and knelt down, kissing her while she sat up in partial covers. She looked him up and down before answering, “Not as well as I would have if you’d slept, but I’m liking being awake a lot right now.”

Caleb smiled playfully and looked up and down her body as well. ‘Black bra that covers her C’s nicely and pajama pants completely covering her curves: great sleep attire. Not like it matters. She’s sexy no matter what she wears. I just wish I had as much fun with that as she does. My Queen of Tease earns that title like no other…. I really wish she hadn’t been blessed with the best braking system in the world. Learning to tease back fills her eyes with all sorts of fire, but I’m still a rookie taking on the best ever.’ Her arms flew around his neck and pulled their heads within an inch of the other the way a belly dancer would her sultan. “Something on your mind?”             

‘Simply scintillating.’ “Nothing at all.”

He pushed her back down onto the bed and simply walked away, her scoff stretching his smile from ear to ear. Caleb slung a random shirt over his toned shoulder and turned back to see her already gathering her things for the shower. ‘How does she change gears so quickly?’ “Are you going to school today?”

Dropping the shirt back into his chair, he retreated over and slung his arms over her shoulders where his hands were covering but not quite touching her breasts. “I am,” he whispered into her tingling ear.

Carol lain her back onto his bare chest and began rubbing it with her shoulder blades. “Did you wanna take a shower together?”

An accidental chuckle escaped his mouth. ‘Could see her naked, which is an obvious plus, but anymore water on my body and I might scream. You win again, water.’ “Already took one, and I’m hoping I’ll get another opportunity some other time.”

She broke from his arms and twirled around while conducting a very saddened frown onto her face. Her body slowly scraped out the door, all the while her playful frown perservered with enticement springing. ‘Absolutely gorgeous.’

After her beauty stopped blinding the room, Caleb shook his head and threw on his white T-shirt before brushing his hair. In the fifteen minutes or so he had to himself, Caleb looked between his reflection on his shiny new television—‘Courtesy of Dad,’—and the school picture where he was still in his blackened attire. ‘It’s an upgrade. Gotta throw out all that make-up now.’ He turned to follow through on his thought. ‘What about her?’

His mother’s dead body flashed into his mind. ‘And here’s me caring about make-up and hair colors. Turn on the news. Look for leads. This isn’t something I’m doing for fun. This is for her. Justice not vengeance.’ His mind wrapped around that concept, which broke into a downward spiral. ‘Who gave me that kind of authority, though? Who am I to change anything?’ Those ever-deepening doubts kept him unsuspecting of the passing clock until Carol wandered back into the room fully dressed. “Good shower,” he asked absently.

“Oh yes, but I’m sure I’ll have better later on in life when you decide to take one with me.” She must’ve noticed his far-away gaze as she asked, “Are you okay?”

Her voice broke him from darkening thoughts seconds before he felt a warm kiss on the back of his neck. “Yeah, just thinking about her again.”

Carol gave him a few more light pecks on the neck before walking to her pack. After some sounds of rummaging ended, he felt something cold about his collar and felt weight gently land on his chest. “What’s this?”

After fastening the silver beaded necklace and draping her silky arms over his slumping shoulders, she explained. “It’s a gift that your mom and I got before she died. She said it fit you in every way possible so we went half-way on it each. It’s called an Ankh. It’s an Egyptian symbol for eternal life. Apparently, she saw you living forever, kinda like I do. Talk to me.”